So the bomb dropped on me last week, when I saw on the Star Tribune online that the Theaters (or Theatres, in proper English spelling -- so which is it?) was closing as of last (Wednesday) night. I couldn't believe it. It didn't seem as if it was losing money, although it was a standalone, non-affiliated movie theater with 14 screens, making it one of the largest (dare I say it) independent movie houses I know. Apparently they're making way for "a new entertainment venue." I'm thinking it's like SMAAASH, which opened up in the space that, more than 20 years ago, was the spot for America's Original Sports Bar and another restaurant. It could be an expansion of SMAAASH, even though they say it won't be. I don't know if you want any mall worth its salt, let alone the Mall Of America, running without a movie theater complex, but I guess they are.
I remember going to this theater a lot back when I was a kid and it was a chain of General Cinemas, remember them? I loved going there because I thought going to the Megamall, The Biggest Mall In America, was cool. (Still think it is, by the way.) I even pulled a double-bill once there; I don't remember the first one, but the last one was the movie adaptation of The Shadow, with Alec Baldwin in the lead. Thought I could drink popcorn and pop for both movies, but then I thought better and, I think, only got a Sprite to see The Shadow.
I stopped going to MOA to watch films growing up; life changed on me, and I realized I could see those same films closer to home, and then they (really all theaters) jacked up the prices for tickets. These guys kept up with the times after they unaffiliated themselves with General Cinemas. They put in a 21+ theater, which offered table-side service of alcohol. They also installed these D-BOX (I liked to call them D-BAG) seats which rumbled according to the noise emitted from the loud movie you were watching on the screen. I swear I bought my only D-BOX ticket for the Terminator movie with Christian Bale in it. It was weird seeing the movie in front of me while "feeling" it under me, plus these special seats were in the back, so I couldn't help but notice the other moviegoers and the theater in the edges of my vision, so I didn't think it was worth the price.
But I didn't think that place was dilapidated. Sure, it could have used a cosmetic upgrade, but the screens seemed to still be good, the sound system wasn't obsolete, and all the seats reclined and there were cup holders and everything. The bathrooms also could've been freshened up, but it's not as if the toilets weren't working. (Quick aside: There were two men's rooms in the Theatres MOA. Each had three urinals in the front, but if you walked toward the back, you would see another pair there. I swear that the two back urinals were used 10% of the time the front three were. Weird planning, and if the theaters would've been overhauled, something would've been done about that.) In other words, that place wasn't a lost cause. And again, a mall still needs a theater. So what are they going to do now?
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I totally took a nostalgia trip when I didn't want to. So before Wednesday I was trying to find a discount coupon for Theatres MOA which I bought years ago and never thought to use it because I never had time. But I was going to use it before it closed down for good. But I looked everywhere in my bedroom for it, tore up everything, and I couldn't find it.
I swore that the last time I cleaned my bedroom, I came across it and thought, "Hmmm, maybe I should use it soon." And then I put it in some dumb place where I would never find it. However, there was one bad where I found two other discount coupons to Regal Cinemas. I know with almost 100% certainty that if I found those discount tickets, I would also find that TheatersMOA ticket. But I didn't. So, either I already used it, I lost it, or I stupidly put it somewhere else.
Oh well, I thought, I won't go then. Tickets are $9.50 weeknights, and the last time I went there, I remember paying an arm and a leg for popcorn and pop. I told my parents I wasn't coming home to eat dinner Wednesday night because I wanted to work out, and it turns out I was going to actually work out. But when I woke up yesterday (Wednesday) morning, I realized I should go. Hey, it's the last day of The Theatres at Mall Of America. I won't give these guys any more money after Wednesday because they'll be out of business. I would regret it if I didn't. And, after looking at their website at work, I saw that if I showed my student ID, I could get $4 off the ticket. I would go for $5.50.
So I scoot out of work just a tad before 5 in order to catch the 5:05 showing of Doctor Strange, hopefully in time. But as I was taking out my student ID, I was told by the person at the cash register that they don't have student discounts. I was afraid I would be helped by someone who didn't know the rules of the theater she works for, so I promised myself that if something like that were to happen, I would not go watch a movie at such an exorbitant price and instead exercise.
Well, about that. I passed by Hooters on the way to the theater/theatre and saw that one of my favorite waitresses was working. Now that I wasn't watching a movie and it was afternoon rush ... uh, I'll eat at Hooters and get serviced by her. You should see her, she's so cute.
Anyway, while I was enjoying an onion ring tower and a Michelob Ultra I looked through the movie theater's website one more time to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. Nope, there it was, under "Promotions" -- students get four bucks off tickets. I knew it! Stupid ticket-taker. And then I scrolled down, just in case ... and then I saw another discount: Wednesdays, all tickets are only $6.
Well, then. Glad I only got an appetizer at Hooters, 'cause I thought I still had room in my stomach for one last bag of popcorn at MOA. So I went back, paid six bucks for the movie I really wanted to see, Arrival at 7:15, and paid another $6.50 for the small bag of popcorn. (Oh, another aside. The guy was trying to upsell me to a medium for another 50 cents. I told him I wasn't that hungry, and so in turn he gave me the small bag but not filled all the way. It was two inches short of the top. He was getting back at me for refusing his upsell. What a petty jerk. Well, he was doing that just because he was losing his job in a few hours. But I really wasn't that hungry, so I let it slide.
The movie was ... overrated. (I might give a review in the next EWR.) I thought about exiting through the back, something I've never done before there. But, if this was the last time I was leaving The Theaters/Theatres At The Mall Of America, I was going to leave the same way I had always left this place: Through the front. So I did. And I went back up the escalator so I could look at the marquee and the hidden box offices as I went back down the escalator one final time.
Maybe I should've taken pictures. Oh, well. I had turned my phone before the film began, it takes some time for my old phone to boot up, and it was getting late.
RIP, Theatres At Mall Of America.
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