Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Tuesday, April 11:
  • Was invited by my friend out to the Timberwolves game, for which he had tickets.  Surprising that it was against The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics, whose star, Russell Westbrook, set the record for most triple-doubles in a season (surpassing the great Oscar Robertson) the game before.  But he didn't even dress for the game.  Also, I'm surprised that he was given two complimentary tickets for the final home game of the regular season, where the new logo was unveiled.  Hey, my gain, and I got a t-shirt out of it!  Unfortunately, the Woofie Dogs lost trying to win the game on a three at the buzzer.  In each seat's cupholder there was a coupon for a small Coke for just a buck out at the closet concession stand to us.  I added a cheddar bratwurst because with a comp ticket, I thought I could spend an extra 50 cents to upgrade from the run-of-the-mill hot dog!  Total price for the food: $8.50.
  • On to Saturday the 8th ... I went to the library to print out tax forms.  One of the forms was a mistake and thus a waste.  Total cost: $1.
  • Went to our alumni club's local watering spot that evening.  I have made it kind of a tradition to go there to watch the Frozen Four Final/championship game in men's college hockey.  Good game: Denver outlasted Minnesota-Duluth with a late flurry of stops, 3-2.  With tip for a meal, beer and Pepsi: $20.
  • ETA at (11:16 p.m.) on April 12 that I forgot that there was another thing I spent money on at the above watering hole.  I stumbled into a company's raffle giveaway, and I decided to play along and throw some money in for prizes I didn't like (I think there was an autographed hockey stick and a tent) and, alas, I didn't win.  Nevertheless I hope that money went for a good cause: $5.
  • Went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) afterwards.  There is a chick there that really got fresh with me; she pulled up my shirt and played with my nipples.  I wasn't sure if she wouldn't take my dick out of my pants, too.  But then she got really weird, saying all these crazy things and telling me to give her $300 and shit.  It's like as if Tracy Morgan were a stripper.  I got so frazzled that I decided not to get a lapper from any of the girls.  This stripper hit me up for another $2, $2 I was going to give to Sammi.  I apologized for not being able to giver her any tips onstage, but I got an LD from her the last time I saw her, so I hope it's cool.  As for this chick ... I don't know if I want to see her again or if I really want to see her again.  Coffee and tips only: $11.75.
  • Went to the local Glam Doll after that, for donuts and coffee.  Was worried that I would have to fast before doing the second part of the two-day experiment at the U. Sunday morning, but I didn't have to.  Two donuts and a pourover coffee and tip: $12.02.
  • On Friday the 7th I did what I think I have done only once before and, after thinking I would not go to either, I went to two stripper parties.  I was determined to get my rocks off that evening, but I wasn't planning on going to either place because I didn't know with who.  But I was convinced to go to both because both houses were so close.  And I finally decided that it's OK to get fucked by *****e* (who made me cum by fucking me with a condom on, something I have rarely been able to do) and only get tame dances at the other party because *****e*, as host, invited me to the first party and Nikki, a good girl, invited me to the second.  (To expound, there were, like, four girls who would do bad things to me at Nikki's party, but since none of them invited me, I felt it was ... OK to not expose my pee-pee to them.)  However, I have to conclude that I won't be going to either place for a while.  For *****e*, it's because her indoor doors don't have locks on them.  I would like to think her giving me head would be the thing I remember from her party, but instead it'll be the drunk and borderline disturbed Mexican who walked in on us.  For the VIP experience: $110.
  • As for not going back to this party, Nikki did something I hated her doing back at her old place: For some goddamn reason, she didn't turn the air conditioning on, and therefore it was unbearably hot upstairs.  She's an adopted Korean, and I doubt she's ever been to Asia, but somehow she has adopted the non-American practice of not using the aircon.  Christ.  Cover and four $20 dances equals: $100.
  • Thursday, April 6 -- went to the library.  Guessing that's where and when I found a penny, heads-up.  An Infusion of: 1 cent.
  • Go all the way back to April Fools' Day, where United FC actually won their first-ever MLS match over Real Salt Lake.  April Fools!  No, not April Fools -- they actually won!  And I overestimated the crowd and sailed through security and got there so early that I had time to buy a hot dog and a Red's Apple Ale!: $14.50.
  • Went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) after the game.  There, for the first time in months, was the sexy Sky.  I thought she was out of my life for good, but apparently she only moved to Brooklyn for a while.  Now she's back -- and after getting a lap dance from her, I remembered how flighty and diffident she could be!  OK!  With tips and a Sprite, the total came to: $31.75.
  • But one plus to this visit was that I actually found a $10 on the floor of the bar.  Luckily no one was around me to see me pick it up and pocket it.  Damn, I needed that money.  An Infusion of: $10.
  • Went to Glam Doll afterwards, the same one as the week before.  Have never gone here back-to-back, but because My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) is so close, I guess I just had to go here instead of the original one in South.  With tip: $12.02.
  • Let's take it all the way back to Saturday, March 25, where I went to the library because I needed to print out some things, most notably this IKEA list from my sister.  Total: 50 cents.
  • I went to my first roller derby bout of the season.  Haven't had time to go either local league, and with St. Paul extending parking meter enforcement to Saturdays, frankly I have little reason to go to the Minnesota RollerGirls now, even though they are a damn good league.  I went to the North Star Roller Girls instead, where parking on the State Fairgrounds is still free, thank Buddha.  The derby was of a lower quality, but it still was fun.  Plus they played Prince during jams, and for halftime they brought out the local hula-hoop hobby group.  I didn't know there was one.  I had my eye on this particular cutie.  She wore a purple top that exposed her midriff.  Moreover, her hula hoop moves were the best, by far.  She made the half hour halftime (seriously, they need to cut that down) sail by!  Ticket, a can of Sociable Freewheeler (I've been on a hard cider kick lately) and tip: $25.
  • Went to the original Glam Doll Donuts after the bout because I think South is closer.  With tip: $10.13.
  • Finally, on Friday, March 24 I went to the local Mensa group for dinner.  They get together for dinner every third Friday, but usually on the south side of town.  However, that place was going to be packed due to Lenten Fridays, so they thought the place where they hold meetings for First Fridays would be a lot quieter, and it was.  Since it is so close to me, I decided to come, at least this one time.  I charged the meal, but I stayed a bit afterward to talk, and you need to pay $5 for the privilege.  And the local VFW was holding a meat raffle, so I bought a ticket for that.  All told, the cash coming out of my pocket for this event was: $6.
Good through April 11.

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