As I said before, I'm just doing my best to avoid this fucker at work. Going out of my way, in fact, even though he has this obnoxious knack of parking too close to me. Whatevs.
I've also noticed that his a fidgety motherfucker. He has this extremely obnoxious tic of taking his things and storing them about ten minutes before the day is over so that, once we are dismissed, he can just bolt the fuck out of there. Like he doesn't need to review his materials just in case he runs across an essay he needs to check against other papers. Asshole. He leaves early from breaks too, like a dickhead. I knew I was superior to him.
Very shortly after yesterday's (Friday's) morning break, he gets up again. All his breaks he disappears for minutes -- minutes, I tell you! That's when I decide I'm not going to be dictated by what he does and when he comes and goes. Fuck this avoidance shit!
We are asked to come in today (Saturday) to work, and I wanted to know if they were going to provide bagels for us for free like they did last Saturday. I ate one, but I still ran around before coming in to work to get McDonald's because ... uh, I don't know, I guess I had my heart set on McDonald's and I decided to get an Egg McMuffin and then a bagel. If the bagels come the second time around I figure I would get coffee but just hoard myself on bagels.
When that fucker jumped up and left the room I hesitated for a moment. I wanted to go up there and ask the room supervisor about bagels. But what if he immediately comes back? No, I told myself, he won't come back; he'll be gone for 15 minutes like he always is! Come on, be bold -- do it!!!
And I do it. I get up and walk to the front of the room. AND GODDAMMIT HERE IS THIS ANNOYING, RUDE MOTHERFUCKER COMING BACK INTO THE ROOM NOT TWO SECONDS AFTER LEAVING (what the fuck was he doing getting up so soon after break anyway? Fuckin' weirdo) walking right past me. I couldn't hide my bad goddamn luck or the hideous goddamn timing; I know I violently shook my head and uttered something that people in the front row probably was able to hear before I approached the supervisor with my question. (And BTW, she doesn't thing they're buying bagels this time around. So they're just going to capriciously choose when they want to give bagels and when they don't? What the fuck?!)
As soon as that happened I was cursing myself for making such a stupid decision. I should have just waited until he came back in -- then I would've gotten up to ask her that question. But ... goddammit, why in the hell am I letting this freak dictate what I can do and when I can do it?! Yeah, I guess avoiding him at all costs in order to mitigate any potential of a confrontation is the #1 goal. But I thought that the coast was clear when I went up there, and clearly it wasn't. But then again, who cares if I go up there and he passes by me? I mean, am I not allowed to go up and ask her a question whenever I feel like it? Why can't I go up there and ask her if this prick steps out of the room? Why can't I go up there and ask her if he's sitting (or standing -- he's now decided he can stand up in front of everybody to work -- so distracting) at his computer)? And conversely, what's his deal if I just sit at my computer and not go up to ask her anything if he steps out, or if he's in the room?
I guess I am bewildered by myself for giving this pseudo-bully power over me. I'm not asking for a fight, but altering my day and my behavior isn't right, either, and it leads to expectations that are dashed whenever I made a wrong decision that really shouldn't be categorized that way, you know?
I'm frustrated with myself. But really, all this would go away if he would go away.
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