(I have to tell y'all that I'm doing this under severe personal and physical distress right now. I'll try and talk about it for the blog post tomorrow, if I'm able to even write about it. But let's just get to the survey.)
#0: Wild (Last Week: -5). OK, I don't want to poo-poo what the Wild were able to do this screening week. The club went undefeated in their four games, and with Saturday's regular season-ending 3-1 win at The Bastard Winnipeg Jets (with soon-to-be Vegas Golden Knight Darcy Kuemper inbetween the pipes) they set franchise records for wins and points in a year. They also assured themselves second place in the Central Division and, for the first time since 2007 (?) they get home-ice advantage for a series, specifically the first round against the St. Louis Blues.
But they don't get Positive Numbers for this. First of all, this team was ticketed for the best record in the Western Conference before their slump in March. (Chicago won the division, BTW, so that old monster will pop up for the Mild in the second round.) Second of all those four teams the Mild beat last week were The Bastard Jets, The Bastard Quebec Nordiques (twice) and The Bastard Hartford Whalers. Not only are they all stolen teams, none of them will be playing past this weekend. The Mild beat them up good, but there are no shitty teams in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Finally, even though momentum (or lack thereof) means very little in hockey, neither does home-ice. All I can think of is that the Mild, under serial underachiever Bruce Boudreau, will squander what is the best season in franchise history, one that still feels underwhelming. (Oh, and Zach Parise got hit in the face with a stick Saturday night. Hope he's OK.)
Says here Blues in 6. Book it.
#-1: Gopher softball (Last Week: -3). The train keeps a-rollin' for this squad. They sweep a doubleheader on South Dakota Tuesday at Cowles and by the quickest possible, mercy rules of five innings (8-0 and 12-0, by the way). They added two more mercy rule (also five innings) games in a three-game sweep of Indiana at home this weekend (10-2 and 8-0). Both games ended on Grand Slams. Makes you wonder how Friday's 11-6 win went. (BTW, those run rule games were played Saturday; Sunday's game was moved up because people think there's going to be rain today. It's sunny as I type this.) They should threaten their best-ever ranking of sixth this week, wherein they will host Northwestern over the weekend.
#-2: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -2). OK, so this is really weird. It goes without fail that weather disrupts significant portions of the U.'s season. I don't remember, however, if anything happened quite like what happened Thursday and Friday. I haven't been up to the local weather, let alone the weather on the East Coast. But apparently a storm out east cancelled the flight of Rutgers, the Gophers' opponent this weekend at Siebert Field, and therefore Friday's game was not just postponed but outright cancelled.
They announced this Thursday; they also said that they were going to give more information about the other two games later. That news came Friday; Rutgers still wasn't in the Twin Cities. And since (I'm guessing) alternate plans were either too complicated or too expensive for the Scarlet Knights' budget, the other two games -- and thus the entire series -- was cancelled. Damn.
So all I have to go on to update the status of this team are Tuesday's 7-1 rout of North Dakota St. that opened up play at Siebert for the year and Sunday's sweep-completing 9-4 win over Michigan St. in East Lansing. (Remember that I did last week's survey so late into Sunday afternoon. I officially published it before I checked the team's Twitter feed; it looks as though the survey went live just as the team was headed into the ninth inning. Therefore it was possible that if I waited a tad longer, that victory over the Spartans would have counted for last week's WMNSS. Just a note.) That this team cancelled more games this week than they actually played is unusual, but not that unusual for this program.
They return the Bison's favor and play in Fargo Tuesday, then visit Indiana for an important three-game set ... assuming it is not cancelled due to weather.
#-3: Twins (Last Week: -6). Well, for a start to a season the Twinks did pretty good! They started off 2016, I think, going 0-7, but for 2017 they actually won four in a row to begin the year, including a three-game sweep of the Kansas City Royals. They beat the White Sox in Chicago Friday, even though Saturday's 6-2 setback ensured the ballclub wouldn't go undefeated this year. An encouraging early sign is that the offense which carried the Twins in 2015 is back, at least so far, including monster seventh innings in the three games vs. K.C. Pitching is better, much better, but let's see how a non-descript arsenal with no power and suspect control will do over the course of half a calendar year. Bottom line: It's a hell of a lot better than last year. After finishing up this afternoon at Comiskey, they play a trio in Detroit starting on Tuesday, then come home for a three-game series versus those same Pale Hose.
#-4: United (Last Week: -1). Lost last (Saturday) night at FC Dallas, 2-0. Hey, at least they kept it under four Goals, right? They play at the Houston Dynamo Saturday.
#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4). OK, first of all I wondered why the Woofie Dogs were playing Portland at home Monday then playing at Golden State Tuesday. I forgot that the Trail Blazers game was the rescheduled one from last month because of condensation rising up from underneath. They won that game, albeit barely, 110-109. But then they proceeded to lose the three pre-scheduled contests for the week, including the 21st and 22nd times they blew a double-digit lead. Like I said last week, this team is young, but Tom Thibodeau has played enough of his young corps enough this year to make good, concrete conclusions about who these guys are and how they will play. And it looks like this group, in its entirety, is a goddamn failure, especially on the defensive end. Really, if this roster needs to be blown up, I can't totally disagree. I mean it, it is that frustrating.
At least this week is the final week for this damned squad. At The Team That Was Stolen From Us (Basketball Version), home to The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics, then at Houston to close out the regular season.
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