Finally Got Done Eating All The Potato Salad I Bought For Halloween!

On Sunday I did what I once thought was impossible: I got done eating the three tubs of potato salad I bought for the buffet at work for Halloween.

I initially changed my mind about the potato salad.  I wanted to buy chocolates because 1) I hadn't bought some high-end chocolate in some time and 2) it's Halloween -- everybody wants chocolate!  But the person organizing the buffet (who I have not seen in a couple weeks -- where did she go?) said that the people there love potato salad.  I mean they were drooling on the potluck list as soon as they saw the words "potato salad," she said to me ... basically.  So I changed my mind back.

I wanted to make a good impression and erred on the side of too much instead of too little.  So I went to my nearby mom-and-pop grocery store and bought three kinds of potato salad, 2 lbs. each.

Did not fly out of the tubs.  Don't know why -- well, besides that the woman organizing the buffet lied to me.  But here's the thing: I made sure to pack in three spoons, one for each tub.  My idea was that, before the buffet, I would do the grown-up thing and prepare my potato salad by sticking in a spoon each in tub.  That way, duh, people would have a utensil for which they could literally spoon their potato salad of choice onto their plate.

The problem: I got so caught up in getting work done before the big lunch that The Organizer volunteered to get the tubs of salad ready for me.  I appreciated her generosity.  But when I finally got done and piled into line, I didn't see the spoons daggered into the salads.  She didn't see them and left them in the bag.  And if there is no serving spoon, why would one want the salad?  I did put spoons in, but I was one of the last in line, so it was way too late, even for the workers who wanted seconds.

I took home all three tubs, all of which were at least half-full.  I think one had only, like, an inch off the top spooned out.  I had no damn clue what I was going to do.  I like potato salad, and I was prepared to eat any that was left over, but I thought the co-workers would eat some more than they did.  Turns out they hate potato salad.  It was so much that I thought about Googling "where can I donate leftovers" before realizing I didn't want Google knowing I can be that pathetic.

So I put them in the fridge and, after ginning up some courage, I dove into the three tubs.  I did it in an orderly way with a dash of OCD.  Somehow, after packing up for Halloween at work, the spoon I stabbed into the tub of steakhouse potato salad was gone.  I had pushed the spoons still in the tubs for regular potato salad and mustard potato salad down with lids.  And since no one else was going to eat the salads, I used both spoons to eat.  Specifically:

1. I would use the spoon in the regular salad to eat a spoonful;
2. I would then use that same spoon so scoop up a spoonful of the steakhouse salad;
3. then I would leave that spoon in there and use the spoon in the mustard salad for a bite;
4. I would go back, take the spoon that I left in the steakhouse, dig back into the regular and eat;
5. I would then leave that spoon in the regular potato salad, take the spoon in the mustard potato salad, and dive back into the steakhouse with it;
6. and, finally, I would take that same spoon to have a dollop of the mustard salad.

Six bites.  With that same routine.  For most days in the month of November.  As much as I love potato salad, and these were good, I didn't want to get fat eating them.  I could not see the bottom of those tubs until, one night, I finished the mustard potato salad.  A couple days later I cleaned out the regular potato salad.  And then, finally, I chased down the back half of the turkey footlong I got from Subway (to commemorate Thanksgiving, of course) with the rest of the steakhouse potato salad on Sunday.

It took 25 days, but by God, I got through them all.  And I know you're not supposed to keep leftovers for almost a month.  But shoot, they didn't look bad and they didn't smell bad (no, I confess -- I didn't smell them at all).  And I'm still alive and blogging about this, so all three tubs of potato salad were still edible.  Score!