Expenses Without Receipt

Jesus fuck, I haven't done this one in over a month.  Starting from Wednesday, November 221:

• Back when my parents still had The Store, they would take regular but short vacations to Las Vegas.  That's when I would sneak out to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Edition).  This being Dranksgiving, and remembering that I haven't seen my ATF in some time, I eschewed an invitation to a stripper party closer to my house and went.  I wouldn't've gone if she weren't there, but thank God this place has a website that regularly updates its roster.  I won't lie to you; she has gained some weight since the last time I saw her, and she's really, uh, fatter than the first time I've seen her.  But I want to be loyal to my ATF's, and her being there for upwards of a decade is a hell of an accomplishment, so I got 11 dances from her.  With cover (didn't get ramen to get a discount because the discount scantly covered the cost of the ramen), beer on Happy Hour and tips to only two other chicks (aside: a lot of the girls I saw were more plain-looking and were natural up top), the total came out to: $150.
• I then went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) because, by the time I downed the last fried pickle at Hooters (ugh), there wasn't enough time to enjoy a stripper party.  So I went to the strip bar instead, where I got coffee, gave stage tips, and got a lapper from Barbie, who I hadn't seen in some time and thought had left the place.  I did not give a tip to Barbie and I did not get a lapdance from the other three girls working the last shift before Thanksgiving, so I shelled out a total of: $30.
• Oh, after getting an LD from Barbie, I saw some money at a chair close by.  The bar was scantly populated, so I moseyed on over, sat down on the money, and tried to suavely slip it into my pocket.  That was when Willow, another of the girls working that shift, invited herself over to say hi.  I told her I was behaving funny because I was partly stretching my bad back and partly farting.  Was that worth just one dollar?  Uh, maybe.  An Infusion of: $1.
• On Tuesday the 20th I went to see Widows.  Like I said, it is too big of a movie.  Ticket, popcorn and pop: $11.81.
• I still have not gone through my receipts yet for the month of October, so because I had Thursday off, I went to Caffetto on this Tuesday night to work.  Glad I did.  Had a discount I used: Two bucks off my large coffee and pumpkin cheesecake.  With tip and I had to pay just: $5.
• Monday, November 19 ... I went to the library to print out an Arby's coupon and copies of my parents' corporation: 30 cents.
• It amazes me that people continue to leave change in the copy machine coin register.  The two quarters I slid in slid back out, and in trying to fish them back so I could use them again, I found a third quarter.  Whoa.  So these copies only cost me five cents total.  Score!  An Infusion of: 25 cents.
• Sunday the 18th: Fucked ****e.  I wanted to sleep with her overnight, but she sleeps with the dogs in the living room.  Anyway, I could say a lot of things about her, but I'll just give out this one story: When she was preparing her big lunch (which has become a part of our day together), she promised that she would make me cum twice.  And she did!  Several hours after we fucked the first time, and after I took a log nap during football, she came in and said, "I'll give you a blowjob!"  And I wish I were more, uh, responsive, but she then let me rawdog her a second time that day, and I beat off and ejaculated all over her stomach a second time.  She didn't even ask for more money.  But I gave her an extra $20 because she fucked me twice!  You can't blame me, can you?  Total: $140.
• Back to Saturday, November 17 ... OK.  I popped into my alma mater's game-watching place on Tuesday because I need to tell the guys there what time it'll be on.  And to keep up relations, I figure that I should sit down and eat and drink there.  That's what I did this time around, like I did several times this season.  But this time I forgot my wallet.  I yanked it out because I charged a bunch of things online, and I just put my wallet on my dresser and didn't put it back in my pocket when going out.  So I apologized to the manager, and he said I could pay him back for the game Saturday.  I have no idea how to settle up in a situation like this.  And I didn't want to use money on this day because I decided this was a no-cash day.  But it was just so much easier if I just personally gave him the cash he used to pay for my bill.  So I did.  And I hope I remember this so I don't forget my wallet again.  With tip the EWR was: $19.
• On Friday the 16th I went to the University of Minnesota men's hockey game vs. St. Lawrence.  Scalped a ticket from my guy for the first time in a long time.  He's one of those guys where I am totally satisfied with our relationship at the level that it is.  That ticket plus a program, a hot dog, and a medium Coke came out to: $27.50.
• I then wanted to go to Glam Doll, a place I hadn't been to in weeks.  But when I got there, they were closed.  Apparently they sold out all their donuts.  Hadn't ever seen them do that by 10 o'clock, however, and that makes me wonder.  Regardless, that turned my night into a wandering one.  Walking up and down Lyndale, I had no idea where I wanted go.  Finally, I went to The Leaning Tower of Pizza, a place I had been to only once before.  Thankfully they had a late Happy Hour, so I took them up on a break on a buck off an Angry Orchard, a break on mozzarella sticks and four (?) bucks on a slice of pepperoni pizza.  With tip: $17.
• Thursday, November 15: There was a house party, and I don't remember the last time I went to one.  Plus there were several girls there that I hadn't gotten freaky with in a while.  I decided I was going to get there early and not dawdle.  I knew that some strippers just wouldn't get there early, but I was OK with that because it would filter out the girls I would feel obligated to do something with.  I took the host, ******a, to the back, where I was too flaccid and had to jerk myself off (man, I am being totally honest).  I got lappers from everyone else who was dressed by the time I left.  And I took so many shots of Fireball that I was dangerously tipsy.  But I still showed my dick to one girl I wanted to for a long time, and I took myself out and showed it to another girl while walking with *****a to a bed and away from her.  Cover, tip for the host's sister, bedroom fee, *****a, lapper with Evette (who did not see my dick) and lappers with ***i and ****y (the two girls who did see it), I spent a lot of money, like: $230.
• On Wednesday the 14th I went to a movie.  I know, Wednesdays aren't movie days.  But I had not seen a good movie in weeks, I was tired of that, and Can You Ever Forgive Me? was playing, but at the Heights, which is a great old movie theater I hadn't been to in a while.  Good movie, but Melissa McCarthy can act.  Ticket, popcorn, pop and tip: $16.50.
• Went to Caffetto afterward.  Pumpkin pie, small coffee, and tip: $6.
• Then I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version), where I kind of splurged and got lap dances from not one but two strippers, Tanya and Marie.  Don't remember the last time I did that.  Not like I minded.  With tips and coffee: $51.
• Back to Monday, November 12, when I went to the U. men's basketball game (with a ticket I bought at the Minnesota State Fair).  This team, I think, is a good team.  Program, souvenir-sized Coke and hot dog: $13.50.
• Sunday the 11th -- had ***e* come over to rake more leaves ... and to give me a handjob.  It's been a long time since she wanked me.  Grand total for those two tasks: $220.
• Before ***e* came over, I texted her if she wanted any food.  She actually said yes, and even though I got KFC for myself, I went to Chipotle to get a burrito bowl for her and chips and guacamole for me.  Charged this meal, but I threw in a tip: $1.
• To Friday, November 9, when I went to the U. women's basketball game (with a ticket I bought at the Minnesota State Fair).  This was Lindsay Whalen's first game as Head Coach, and I was kind of surprised they kicked ass.  Program and medium Coke only because, to celebrate Whalen, they were offering free Domino's.  I took three slices!  Total spent: $7.
• Keep going back to Wednesday the 7th, where I once again went downtown to tell my bar what time our game is.  But first, a trip My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division).  Jade was there.  She demands five bucks at the stage every time.  I never will do that, but I tried that with other girls and one of them totally got pissed at me, so I figured that I would make it up to her by getting a lapper from her.  She's good, but I can't give her $20 every time she's there, you know?  With tips and coffee I shelled out: $30.
• Then went to my bar downtown.  Think I only got a Coke and soup this time.  With tip: $9.
• Tuesday the 6th was Election Day.  Saw on Facebook that Bauhaus was having an Election party, and unlike 2016, where I was happily going to the Herkimer, only to see too many states going red, I was happy seeing the projection that Democrats took the House.  The beer was a buck off.  Got a pint of that and a pint of root beer, too.  With tips for each drink: $8.
• On Monday the 5th I went downtown to take up The Local's Sunday/Monday deal of a burger & beer for ten bucks (while watching EPL) and getting my shoes shined.  I got those shoes shined after the soccer match because Lisa extended her hours, which she was able to do because her daughter moved off for college.  She gave me a break on polishing my Doc's -- half-off.  Buddha bless her.  I gave her my customary five bucks' tip anyway, thereby making the total for the shoeshine just: $10.
• Sunday the 4th ... after the Vikings game, went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division), per usual.  Cicily is still there, and still hot, and since I hadn't seen her in a long time, got an LD from her.  With coffee and tips and the total was, I think: $33.
• On Friday, November 2 (I think), I hired ***e* over to rake my leaves -- and to just rake my leaves -- for the first time.  I realize now that I spent the same amount on her this time as I did the next time, and that next time was with an HJ.  I guess I can justify it by saying that I had her do both the front and back yards and fill up the remaining bags with leaves enshrouded in snow because it had snowed around that time and it was still cold.  And hell, I love ***e*.  Gave her: $220.
• Shit, now I have to do the October.  OK ... Halloween ... Went to Hooters to see all the babes in costumes.  Only two of them were wearing slutty stuff showing their tummies.  Used my October coupon from the calendar.  With tip it came to: $25.50.
• Afterwards I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) to see hot women get out of their costumes.  Willow was dressed up as a sexy circus ringleader.  Nice!  Lapdance with her, Sprite and tips, and I think it summed to: $32.
• OK, so the next EWR goes all the way back to Saturday, October 20.  Was able to leave early from work to get to this alumni event downtown.  I was able to get free valet -- but of course I had to tip.  I wonder if I tipped too much: $5.
• After my alma mater's game, I went to, yep, My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition), where I got a lapper, finally, from JJ.  With coffee and tips, where my trip was a relatively short one, from the amount I spent: $28.
• Friday the 19th ... because of this alumni event I got a haircut from Great Clips.  Charged the cut, Update on 10:06 p.m. on November 22 that I actually paid cash and I have the receipt for the cut, so just ignore the cut; but the tip was cash and receipt-less: $3.
• Thursday, October 18 was the last home game for the U. soccer team.  Went to see a win.  Hot dog, Coke, program: $11.50.
• Wednesday the 17th: Oh, I got wanked by ******e on this date!  This seems so long ago.  Later that night I saw my basement flooded because my humidifier started leaking.  That may have been an omen to not bring her here ever again.  But her HJ skills are awesome ... even though she is kind of weird.  I first thought I would be spending only $120, but then she told me I had to pay her to drive up here, and then she wanted a tip because she was going to blow my mind.  Hey, her wanking skills are really good, but mind-blowing?  C'mon: $150.
• On Monday the 15th I did something I want to do more of on Mondays off: Go to a well-regarded restaurant.  After I went to see Grandmother's best friend, I went up to Edina and ate at Red Wagon Pizza.  The small pizza is expensive; so was the beer.  But it was good, and I am better for going.  I think.  Total with tip: $35.
• Sunday, October 14 ... after the Vikings game I went to, you guessed it, My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division).  Ruby is a unique person -- plain-looking, but really smart and curious, and a great person to have a conversation with.  Got a lap dance from her, and I should do so again in the future.  With tips and coffee and it all came out to: $32.
• Was able to hit our local mom-and-pop grocery store before it closed.  Got bread for sandwiches and peanut butter-and-jelly.  Also got lottery tickets when both Mega Millions and the Powerball had crazy jackpots.  Man, those were the fuckin' days, man.  You know how much money I spent on lottery tickets, for myself and for my family?  I don't!  I usually am given a receipt at this place, but I didn't get one.  At least I remembered: $30.49.

Christ, I have to stay on this regular blog post more frequently!  Good through November 21.