The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: 0).  I can tell you, without a doubt, that this is the most successful screening week for Twin Cities sports teams in the history of The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  Of the ten squads featured in this survey, there was only a collective three losses -- and one of those was suffered by a club that may have as good of a chance to win its sport's championship as they have ever had in program history.

This, however, has resulted in what may be the most controversial, and maybe most fucked-up, WMNSS in history.  I feel as though I should give more weight to victories that are more pivotal.  But I counter that by believing that I will decide that the wins by the more popular teams are the ones that are the most pivotal.  And I don't want to do that.  So I go back to my lodestar when it comes to ranking teams for this: Record.  But that means I open myself to the possibility that I am trying to compare apples and oranges -- to which I defend myself by saying, Shit, I've been trying to do that since the advent of the WMNSS.  That also means I get the list you see here, where a person might go, "Really?  These guys are at the top of the list?"  And honestly, I am sort-of underwhelmed, too.  Maybe that's why I'm not using Positive Numbers or 0 to start off this survey.  It's just a way to show how ambivalent I am about how I ordered the teams.

But golly, I'm not going to put the U. football team on top just because they won Paul Bunyan's Axe for the first time in 15 years.  (I actually put them down on the bottom; you can guess my line of thinking if you've been reading this for some time now, but I'll explain in that club's entry when I get there.)  Instead, I really think that the most impressive screening week from local squads came from the University of Minnesota men's basketball team, which went to Vancouver and left still undefeated on the year after wins over Santa Clara (80-66) Monday and Washington Tuesday.  That win over the Huskies was impressive; Gabe Kalscheur drained an off-balance three-pointer with 2.1 seconds left to give them the 68-66 lead/win.  That game was similar to the victory over Texas A&M that kicked off the team's participation in the Vancouver Showcase Sunday: A good, game opponent that did not make things easy for the Golden Gophers and forced them to rebound, fight and get a little dirty in order to grind out the win.  And I think that will make these guys better as the season goes on.

They have a very challenging week ahead of them.  They visit Boston College to do their part of the Big Ten/ACC Challenge tonight (Monday night).  They then go back home, but not go back home; they are playing at U.S. Bank Stadium for a game Friday night versus Oklahoma St. ... and holy shit!  I totally didn't realize that these games are the same weekend as the U.'s volleyball matches.  Fuck, what am I gonna do?!

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  And yes, the Gopher female icers take the runner-up spot.  Playing in a neutral site over Thanksgiving Weekend (in this case the Windjammer Classic in Burlington, Vt.) is not easy.  And while the squad's foe in the title game Saturday, Vermont, is not a good team (probably neither was Syracuse, the team the Catamounts beat to face the U.), the U.'s semifinal opponent Friday, St. Lawrence, was ranked eighth in the country.  And they quadrupled the Saints, 8-2.  (The team merely tripled Vermont, 6-2.)  So what if I know nothing else about them?  They deserve being up this high.

This weekend they are at Yale for a two-game series.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -5).  Like the Gopher women's hockey team, the Wild faced a bad team (Ottawa) and a good team (Winnipeg) this screening week.  Also like the Gopher women's hockey team, they won both games, although both of them were struggles (and, I should note, both of the Wild's games were at the X).  In the game against the Senators Dranksgiving, the Wild flashed out to a 4-1 lead before Ottawa scored three Goals in the Third Period to tie the game.  That chased starting Goalie Devan Dubnyk for Alex Stalock.  Sixty-seven Seconds later, Eric Staal put in the game-winner.  (Eric Fehr deposited the Empty-Netter for the 6-4 final margin of victory.)  And on Black Friday afternoon, they came back from a 2-0 deficit after two Periods to rip four past Bastard Atlanta Thrashers Goaltender Connor Hellebuyck for the comeback win.  They remain hot, 30 Points on a 14-9 record.  But so is much of the Central; the Wild remain behind Nashville for the division lead and Winnipeg is only two points behind them.

This week: Home to The Bastard Winnipeg Jets Tuesday, at Columbus Thursday, then hosting Toronto Saturday.

#-4: Vikings (Last Week: -8).  This is a good win, don't get me wrong.  It was also a necessary one, this 24-14 victory over the seriously-in-trouble Green Bay Packers last (Sunday) night at Oooos-Bahnk Stadium.  Getting to 6-4-1 puts the Vikes, at least for now, in fifth in the National Football Conference race and away from, I think, certain doom against the Chicago Bears, who are now 1 1/2 Games ahead of Minnesota in the division.  (The tie to the Pack in Week 2 and the loss at home to Buffalo are going to continue to bite this team in the ass all season, dammit.)  But there are still a lot of deficiencies in this team's play that hasn't stopped me from thinking these guys just don't have it this year.

I have one thing about the game in particular I want to raise.  So it was great that the Vikes got that turnover off the muffed punt by Tramon Williams at the Packers' 15.  But they didn't score.  That includes going for it on fourth down and failing to convert.  You could say that the game was over by then (they were leading by the final score at that time).  But if our team were the Saints or the Chiefs or the Rams, we would've stuck the dagger in the Packers' hearts by scoring on the first play off the muffed punt.  That we stalled after getting such a gift is borderline disgusting to me.

Now I have one larger point I want to argue against.  Head Coach Mike Zimmer, as well as others, insist that the best way for Minnesota to score is to have a balanced offense -- that is, the Vikings need to run the ball, and to commit to running the ball.  I think that's largely bogus.  The best teams this season, namely the ones I named above, have been flinging the ball for huge chunks of yardage in every game they've played.  Add to that the Vikings' Offensive Line being so banged up and showing that they still have a lot of trouble run-blocking, and I think it's time to commit to being a pass-first offense.  It's not as if Kirk Cousins is Spergon Wynn.  I saw the game, and he continues to make incredible throws.  He has the guts to throw them, and Adam Thielen and Stefon Diggs are hauling in most of his passes.  So why not just be who you are?  That's the best way -- and maybe the only way -- to climb back into title contention.

BTW, they needed this win because their season-ending stretch is a killer.  Next week they visit New England.  It is possible that all of this goes south because the squad finishes with a five-game losing streak.  I'm serious.

#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: 0).  Don't want to put a damper on what Lindsay Whalen & Co. are doing.  This club is still undefeated and it undoubtedly will climb up the Top 25.  But this was an easy week, using hot starts to crush two tomato cans, Arkansas-Pine Bluff Tuesday and Cornell Friday, by respective scores of 84-42 (holy fucking Christ, the U. was able to double up the Golden Lions and 65-45.  A sterner test should come Thursday, as the Gophers do their part in the Big Ten/ACC Challenge and host Syracuse.  Then they play the Air Force at The Barn Sunday afternoon.

#-6: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -6).  A once-proud title contender that is now clearly a cut below the likes of Penn St. and Oklahoma St. still has the juice to crush non-BcS schools.  That's what the Golden Gopher grapplers did yesterday (Sunday) afternoon in crushing South Dakota St., 35-6.  And that's all I have to say about them.  They take part in the Cliff Keen Invitational in Vegas this weekend.  I will leave these guys out of next week's WMNSS unless something truly magical happens.

#-7: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  OK, so this is where the survey turns itself inside out.  The U. did not run the table in the B1G.  Friday, the Penn St. Nittany Lions beat the U. in five Sets in State College.

However, the Gophers did sweep Rutgers the next night to finish their season 19-1 in-conference and 25-3 overall.  And that convinced the NCAA Selection Committee to give Minnesota the #2 overall seed (behind Stanford) for the NCAA Tournament, announced last (Sunday) night.  With the final four being staged at Target Center, this team does not have to leave the area.  Add powerful, smart and resilient players to what would be a raucous home crowd if they reach the national semifinals, and let's be honest -- there is no better chance for the University of Minnesota to win its first-ever NCAA championship in women's volleyball than this year.  That's a lot of pressure, though, and we need to see if there is some out-of-nowhere upset before the third weekend.

The road to Target Center starts at Maturi Pavilion this weekend.  They host Bryant Friday, then play either South Carolina or Colorado Saturday.  (Aside: With the tickets for the b-ball games at U.S. Bank Stadium already bought, combined with the fact I am pretty sure these Gophers will reach the regional semifinals next weekend, I might skip Saturday's Second Round match-up.  I probably will stay for, like, the first Set between the Gophers and the Bulldogs before heading downtown.  But that first game, between the Gamecocks and the Buffaloes?  You never see those teams up here, so I think I'll buy a ticket because of that contest.)

#-8: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3).  Lost a close one to Denver at Target Dranksgiving, 103-101.  But then these guys delivered victories on back-to-back days, 112-102 at Brooklyn early Black Friday afternoon, then 111-96 over Chicago at home Saturday night.

In that win over the Bulls, Gabe Fernandez of Deadspin noted that Karl-Anthony Towns continued to be vocal as of late.  That paid dividends as KAT scored 35 and hauled in 22 Rebounds.  (He may have needed to be a beast to make up for the lost performance of Andrew Wiggins, who went scoreless on 0-for-12 shooting.)  But Fernandez sees Towns finally stepping up to be a leader in a way that matches his max contract.  He wasn't that demonstrative when Jimmy Butler was in town, which reinforces the obvious fact that people can blossom into being their best selves when they're not surrounded by fucking bullies.  (In the meantime, Butler drained his second buzzer-beating game-winner for Philadelphia last/Sunday night.)

This week: A quick getaway to Cleveland tonight (Monday night), then home dates vs. San Antonio and Boston.

#-9: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4).  Crushed Michigan St. Friday at Mariucci, 7-2, but lost to the Spartans Saturday at Mariucci, 4-2.  Again, this is Bob Motzko's first year, so I'm giving him and this club a mulligan this year.  That's all I have to say about these players ... well, after saying that they host Ohio St. for a pair this weekend.

#-Infinity: Gopher football (Last Week: -7).  One final weird cock-up in this screening week's survey.  But hey, this is what you get in college football -- a mediocre team's season ending in elation when vanquishing a rival for the first time in what seems like ages.  By rule, because the football team's year is ending without a championship, I have to put them in at -Infinity.  (And I am ending the U.'s season now because no one without a screw loose in his or her brain gives a rat's ass about a bowl game.)

Nevertheless, all credit goes to the Gophers.  Well, I should say that they caught Wisconsin in as good a time as any.  Don't know what happened, but the Badgers, with much of their best players returning this year, was just out of synch.  Sure, the U. would've sent a much better message if they beat a much better team (and in Madison at that), but the U. has been so bad I didn't know if they were capable of beating Wisconsin in a down year -- well, sort of like this year's version of the U.

So what to make of Year 2 of the P. J. Fleck Era?  They have this win, and they have the romp over Purdue.  (Guess you could throw in Fresno St. as well.)  But they did lose four in a row to begin B1G play, effectively ending any hopes of a miracle season, and in what I think was a eminently winnable game on the road, they were blitzed by Illinois (who extended the contract of Lovie Smith even though he went 4-8), 55-31.  The Boilermaker and Badger victories came at the end of the season, so can we consider that to be progress?

Well, it's not as though the U. is going to fire him, and I don't think Fleck has enough juice to go anywhere.  So it'll be steady as she goes for Year 3 ... although I can allow myself some hope and believe that this finishing kick is just the beginning for this football program.

Every year at the Minnesota State Fair, the U. takes over a building.  They set aside one section for sports, and if there are big trophies that have been won over the past year, they display them there.  That includes football rivalry trophies such as Floyd of Rosedale and the Little Brown Jug, which I have seen and photographed up close.  But for the life of me, I don't ever remember seeing Paul Bunyan's Axe.  But blessed be, when next year's State Fair rolls around, that axe will be there, and I will finally get to see it.  I didn't even go to the U. and I need to see it!