Wednesday, October 6, 2021

The Condom That Wasn't

Yeah, I should finally tell you all this story ...

So when I vacationed in Denver, I went to the University of Colorado.  I'm a huge sports fan, and whenever I visit a city in the United States, I try to go to a major college in the area and find a Game to watch.  Boulder is almost an hour away from Denver, but I hear the campus and the city itself is beautiful, and while I was in town the women's soccer team was hosting Oregon.

Boulder is beautiful.  So was the campus.  I remember being blown away because the small concessions set-up offered beer, and I didn't think alcohol would be sold for a Game in a non-revenue sport.  Also, the Buffaloes were up 2-0 but the Ducks came back, and the teams settled for a 2-all Draw.

I wanted to look around the UC campus after the Match, so I ducked into what I believe is The Department Of Chemical And Biological Engineering building.  I walked around a bit, then I used the men's room.  In the bathroom sat a small bag.  In that were condoms.  I saw that as a sign that I would get lucky, so I took the last one.

I had stored it in the locked drawer of my desk.  I have taken it out whenever I was going to a stripper party just in case I was offered a reasonable price for sex.  Either such an offer didn't happen or, frankly, the stripper allowed me to fuck her without one.  So there had been several instances going over ... I want to say just a couple years where I took this condom with me, only to not use it.

So now we get to a couple months ago (I think).  This was the party in St. Paul where ***u** invited me, she said she was horny, she invited me to fuck her, and then she convinced me to double the money I was going to shell out so the host, *******y, and her could double-team me.  I did not know before the party that ***u** was willing to have sex with me, but since this was a house party I unlocked my desk and took that protection with me.  So when she said she was willing to let me inside her, and for a reasonable price, I finally was able to break the condom open.  Was it expired?  Possibly.  The important thing to me was that I could finally use it!

And so, when ***u** asked if I had a condom, I finally was able to whip it out and use it.  Finally being able to stop carrying it only to put it back in my desk gave me an inordinate amount of relief.  It was a kind of blue balls in reverse.

To make things "romantic," I had ***u** rip open the package.  And she did ... and then this clear ooze came out.  And that was it.  There was no condom.  "This is lube!" ***u** cried.

Lubricant?  But the small bag said "condoms!"  Some sex-positive youngster on the University of Colorado campus lied to me!

We didn't want to waste it, so ***u** vainly tried to spread all the lube that squired onto her fingers onto my cock.  But then she was trying to find protection.  She looked everywhere -- drawers, the bathroom, any place (even though this was not her house).  You know, come to think of it, maybe that's the reason why she convinced me to get *******y down to the basement.  If I had that condom, I would only be fucking her, and only spending $200.

Anyway, *******y came down, and after doing some searching of her own, she found a couple rubbers, which I used on ***u** and then *******y.  But all this waiting, and then finally being excited to use a condom that I took home from my trip to Denver, sort of as a souvenir, and then it not being what I expected it to be?  Bummer.

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