The closest theater to me was part of a small chain, I think, called New Vision. But that chain went out of business last year because of the pandemic. That chain was formed four years ago by a private equity firm, and they bought 15 theaters movie exhibitor behemoth AMC had to divest in order to avoid antitrust laws and merge with fellow behemoth Carmike. With New Vision going under, AMC offered to buy back ten of those theaters, this closest one to me being among them, and in late August 2020, a judge agreed to the buyback. I've linked to the Variety story on it here, and I think it's kind of wild that the piece names a suburb I can actually walk to.
That's a lot of backstory to wind up on what I want to talk about: Concessions. What I now miss about New Vision is their modestly-, or humanely-, sized popcorn bags and soft drink cups. Sure, they're probably big compared to, say, Europe. We're Americans, after all. But AMC doesn't have those sizes. The smallest size they offer (unless they're lying, and I wouldn't put that past them), their "medium," is what I would think you would consider to be a "large." And actually, the popcorn bag might be more like a "jumbo" size. They're jumbo-sized prices, that's for damn sure, and I didn't get much of a discount for food and drink (although I somehow had the tax waived off them, for some reason).
Anyway, I'm watching the movie and chomping and slurping away. It's movie food, so it's fine and bad for you. (Aside: The theaters I've been to have the Freestyle Coke machines, where you can call up nearly all their products from just one machine. However, the past few times many of the flavors weren't available. This supply chain issue is worldwide, and it sucks.) But I got to the end of No Time To Die ... and I still had plenty of popcorn and Coke to eat and drink.
So, what do I do? I go out to my car and try to finish the rest there. I put up my windshield sun blocker because I didn't want any shopper going to their car that evening to see me eating popcorn and drinking pop in my car. (Had a late thought about going to my storage unit and eating there because I need to see my stuff, but by the time I got there, the gate was about to shut down for the night. Too late.) And I still had one hell of a time finishing it all. I finally got done with the cup of Coke (and by the way, I was lucky that that size up fit into my cup holder. Jeez.) But I saw I had bits of kernels at the bottom of the bag of popcorn intermingling with unpopped kernels.
And then I remembered going to Hooters to eat after I tipped the scale at my physical. I had coupon whereby I got fried pickles for free because I also ordered a small batch of wings, fries, and a beer. Maybe it was the fried pickles, maybe it was my lingering guilt over being so damn fat, but try as I might, I couldn't finish the fries. And I felt embarrassed both ways when I told the Hooters waitress -- who I both know and think is fucking hot as fuck -- to just take the rest of the fries away. I was embarrassed that I couldn't finish the fries, I was embarrassed that I asked her to throw perfectly good fries away, and I was embarrassed that I even tried to start eating the fries even though I had just seen myself be as fat as I have ever been. Free doesn't mean much these days, and my stomach doesn't seem to stretch much, either. So even though I had been taught by my parents to not waste food, I couldn't stomach eating one more piece of popcorn. I stopped, started the car, and after deciding nah to my storage unit, threw the bag away at the gas station after getting gas.
If AMC is going to insist on not offering portions that are less obscene, well, sorry, but I am just going to not eat or drink at the movies anymore. Those are ridiculous goddamn sizes, and I am not the person I was 20 or even ten years ago where I could scarf all that shit down and not feel the consequences. And remember that I had to take out a goddamn mortgage in order to buy that popcorn and pop. When I threw that unfinished bag of popcorn away, I pissed away some money. So not only have I gained weight, I also feel shame over not finishing food I bought -- because of both the waste of food and the waste of money.
I can't go on like this. It's incredibly difficult for me to see a movie without eating or drinking something. I imagine it's kind of like trying to quit smoking. But AMC, despite antitrust laws, now goddamn run this town, and they're going to keep holding those gargantuan bags and cups over me. No! I've had enough!! I must resist!!!
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