#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!). I'm giving the top spot to the U. male icers, who, a Week late, kicked off their Year with a sweep at Mariucci of Mercyhurst. I was at the Friday season-opener (although a couple Minutes late because of work -- darn shifted first shift), and while I saw a plethora of Goals, I also saw plenty of defensive lapses that led to Lakers tallies on the other end. Only in the middle of Third Period, when Phoenician Matthew Knies scored the first of his two Goals to make it 6-3, did I feel as though they would win. They followed that up with a 5-3 victory Saturday, another indication that Bob Motzko is all in on Offense and Defense, nah.
This Week: A home-and-home with St. Cloud St.
#-2: Vikings (Last Week: -5). If there is a worse Win in sports, I can't believe it. Because I saw it while in the bowels of the stadium and the victory still feels hollow because of the slow-moving calamity any long-suffering Vikes fan could feel while watching them in the lead. The Detroit Lions are an inferior football club, yet even as they went ahead, you could sense they couldn't put them away. Once for a fourth straight tilt, the Offense failed to score a Touchdown in the Second Half. There were puzzling decisions and too many fizzling drives. And then, as has happened before, a late turn of events made manifest the dread: The Vikes' Alexander Mattison, trying to run down the clock up seven, coughs up the football deep in their own territory. And to the Lions' credit, they ran the ball down for a TD, went for two, made it, and took a one-Point lead. If you weren't paying attention -- if you aren't a long-suffering Vikes fan -- you were stunned. You shouldn't be.
Credit, then, goes to Mr. Anti-Vaxxer, Kirk Cousins, for engineering a drive that put them in Field Goal range. I was perplexed as fuck that they let 20+ Seconds go by without advancing the ball, but Greg Joseph, unlike what he did at the gun against the Cardinals, hit a Game-ending FG from 54 Yards out to save Minnesota's collective ass, 19-17. Yes, Cousins has his limitations, and if the Defense were world-class, we would be talking about how Cousins is holding the team back. But for the second straight season, he is on the great assets on this squad (rest of the Second Half excepted), and he is carrying the Defense which, even with little help from the O, is dragging this team down.
And with all this crap, they're still only 2-3. Surprise us: Win at Carolina Sunday with no Christian McCaffrey, OK?
#-3: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -4). They went 2-1 this Week, but championship teams beat the likes of a down Michigan program instead of blowing the last two Sets and losing in five, as they did Friday. Defeating Michigan St. the next night in four? Cool. Sweeping Northwestern at Maturi Wednesday? That's to be expected. But the AVCA has them going from eighth to twelfth in their Top 25 poll (which was released on Monday, before the Win over the Wildcats), and that's kind of where I think they'll wind up after all of this is over.
Only one Match this Week: Hosting Indiana Sunday afternoon. What, no Purdue?
#-4: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -6). And now we have two clubs that won once and lost once, and I don't know how to rank them. I guess I'm going first with the U. female icers, who still don't seem to be clicking as usual after splitting at Minnesota-Duluth. They lost Saturday afternoon in Overtime, 5-4, after beating the Bulldogs the previous evening, 3-1, so at least they get a Point ... I think? They have a home-and-home with Minnesota State-Mankato this weekend.
#-5: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -1). I hate collapses. And the one the U. footballers undertook Sunday was classically awful. They went up 2-0 in the First Half only to piss it all away in the Second, aided by an Own-Goal in 71st Minute to tie it all up, then the contest-winner by the Boilermakers' Sarah Griffith 14 1/2 Minutes later. Sure, they responded by blowing up Illinois last/Thursday Night, 5-0, but the Fighting Illini are terrible, and Minnesota still appears to be on the outside looking in when it comes to the postseason.
Believe it or not, women's soccer is coming to an end, soon. The final two road Games for this group happen this Week -- Northwestern Sunday, Iowa Thursday.
#-6: United FC (Last Week: -3). I have to admit that I'm kind of shocked at all the angry yelling -- well, at least on Twitter -- after the Loons lost at home Sunday to Colorado, 3-1. As a guy who is mostly proud of flying off the handle when his teams shit the bed, my first thought after seeing all the online vitriol, well, aimed mostly at Head Coach Adrian Heath has been, "Oh, come on, let's not get worked up here, huh?"
And after delving into the circumstances of the defeat ... yeah, I understand a little, but I'm still not moved to anger. Thing is, MNUFC was leading at the break. Also, the Rapids used all of their five Substitutions. Heath used only three, continuing his practice of relying heavily on his starting XI, and brought them in after the Rapids subbed off four of their starters. Unfortunately, Colorado's Subs scored the Game-tying (via Penalty Kick) and Game-winning Goals, highlighting the benefits of using them and the dangers of not using them.
And I just saw this now: The Rapids' Danny Wilson got Red-Carded in the 57th Minute. The Rapids scored their three Goals after going down to ten men. This continues a horrible pattern this season of not making the killshot on an opponent that's a man down. But to yield three Goals even though they have one fewer guy out there? Frankly, if I was there (and I wasn't because I was working the Vikings Game), I would be pissed the fuck off, too.
I get deferential when it comes to criticizing local soccer clubs because I'm still not versed in the sport and its tactics. Plus, United FC is still where they were before the screening Week, which is clinging onto the last playoff spot in the West. But maybe the anger emanating from Loons faithful just makes them another underachieving Twin Cities sports team, and I need to treat them as equally.
At Austin Saturday, then host Philadelphia Wednesday. This could get ugly.
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