Money In, Money (Very) Out

Scheduled payments to both my credit cards just now.  And again, I am spending money like an old coffee maker is leaking water (like my alumni friend said on Zoom earlier last/Saturday night).  Mostly it's food, although I dined out enough in both monthly cycles that that contributed too.  Oh, and porn on OnlyFans.  And getting massages from ******a, that didn't help, either.

I remember back in the longest days of the pandemic that my bank account grew and in fact swelled.  There was nothing to do out of the house, so I stayed in-house, and so I had no chance to spend money nor charge anything to my credit card.  Now that I'm let out of the house and acting as if everything's back to normal, I'm whipping out my cards for anything I want to do.  And my bank account has shrunk back down as a result.

It's gotten to the point where the money I need to pay off my credit card bills is more than the money I'm bringing in from work.  That is a very, very bad thing.  And I want to do the right thing and not spend so much money.  But I probably won't help myself from my self-sabotage.