Thursday, June 9, 2022

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: May 2022

Great month, I tell ya.  Maybe one of the greatest ever since I started buying the Hooters calendar.  Can't say that there any duds in the dozen gorgeous women gracing May '22.  That makes it extremely, uh, hard to choose which girls to point out and then rank them.  But with all due respect, I will.

I am going to rank seven, which is a record.  Not only have I never separated out so many Hooters waitresses for a month, I'm sure this is the first time I have chosen to recognize more than half of a month's girls.  It's an excellent month!

In seventh place is Madison, of Dayton, Ohio.  The only drawback to most of the photos in this month (although they are more than overpowered by the sheer beauty of the women -- that's how good May 2022 is) is that very few of the babes are posing with their bodies straight at the camera.  Madison is; in fact, she's on a swing, her beautiful smile and long, blonde wavy locks adorning a light blue two-piece bikini.

In sixth place is Madison, out of Weston, Fla.  She's also full frontal (so to speak).  She has long brown hair, some of it ending blonde.  A warm color/sunrise effect two-piece, and her right hand is grabbing the right side of her string bikini bottom, giving the illusion she's about to untie it.  Hot!

In fifth place is Orlando's Mattie.  Mattie's shot is different.  She is posing with her side facing toward us, and she's resting against a wood pillar.  She's got a black, connected one-piece bikini.  And she's not smiling.  But she's got a face and a look -- not to mention the long, straight blonde hair -- that is alluring, and tantalizingly sexy.  She is so hot, you really, really want to see her pose in a different way, but you're not mad at what you're looking at right now.

In fourth place is Virali, from Joliet, Ill.  Long, black hair, wearing a black two-piece, and she's grabbing her bikini bottom with her left hand while her right hand is holding the back of her head.  She is the only one smiling, and I mean smiling, grinning from ear to ear, and that smile makes her look devastatingly intoxicating.  Finally, and I just noticed this, she's got two tattoos -- one on her left forearm, one of what I think is a butterfly on her left bicep -- and this is, I swear, the first month where you can see Hooters girls with tats.  Fucking smoking!

(Aside: Another gigantic plus for the near-historic greatness of this month is the geographic diversity.  Usually the girls, and not just the ones I like the most, all hail from Florida or Texas.  But when it comes to the best ones for May 2022, there are babes from all over the United States.  That's a good thing, and I hope Hooters continues to reach out to find women from all their restaurants all over the country!)

In third place is The Main Girl, Enayyah, hailing from Daytona Beach, Fla.  Now, she's got her arms folded in front of her, which is a big no-no in my mind.  She also is wearing this yellow top (it is a two-piece though) that has sleeves that covers the whole arms.  But -- goddamn, she's fucking alluring.  Enayyah has long, black hair, a Mona Lisa smile, and either beautiful tan skin or a beautiful tan.  The whole package is very worthy of being The Main Girl.

In second place is Harmony, of Pelham, Ala.  Voluminous dark hair and a patterned two-piece.  But two details about her set her off.  One is the ass she's showing.  Yes, the Ass Showing Proviso applies, but it's way more than a perfunctory level up when it comes to Harmony.  She's posing with her side to us, so her ass is too us, and the 45% of booty she's showing is a juicy one.  The other detail are her tattoos.  Looks like she's got two tats on her right rib, one of a crescent moon and the other of ... uh, what looks to be a drawing of a pig.  Whatever -- tattoos are fuckin' hot!!!

Finally, in first place is Mia, from Addison, Tex.  Fucking gorgeous blonde with long hair.  Two-piece bikini with blotches of various shades of blue.  A come-hither, fuck-baiting smile.  And best of all, while she's posing in profile, she's swinging her hot ass out to us, showing off the, oh, 50% peach she's sporting out of her Brazilian cut bikini bottom.  She's lovely to look at, but in a field as crowded as this, it's that exposed dumper that puts Mia over the top.

So congratulations, Mia, and to all the women (ranked and unranked) in May 2022.  I have already masturbated to you all, but since this month is so goddamn good, maybe I'll do it again!!

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