One way the magazine seems to try to have it both ways is to have more athletes pose for the edition. That way, SI can showcase women who are physically attractive in exchange for allowing them a platform on which to promote causes important enough to them that would be willing to parade in swimsuits of various skimpiness in order to do so. Such is the case with one of the cover "models" adorning the 2021 issue, tennis superstar Naomi Osaka. She looks good, no doubt, but I cannot get over her, uh, increasingly vocal misgivings over her "anxiety," including how often she feels harassed by the media just doing their job. I want to be sympathetic toward Osaka, but I don't think she's over it, and so I think she needs to step back from tennis and work on her mental health. Meanwhile, there are few athletes I can gawk over in this issue without feeling icky -- Maria Sharapova, Anna Kournikova -- and Osaka is not one of them. She looks good, but they are too famous for their talent, and so I want them removed from this mag so I don't feel guilty. There, I said it.
(Aside: I bought this issue on Amazon. There are three cover models for 2021. There were no good choices. One of the options was Megan Thee Stallion, the "curvy" raunchy rapper. The other was Leyna Bloom, who I believe is the first transgender model to ever grace the cover. Bloom looks good, but in retrospect, I think I should have selected Megan Thee Stallion.)
There are other musical artists in the SI SI, namely Tinashe and Anitta. And they look good. But they still feel out of place to me. It feels weird, in fact, to gawk at R&B singers in swimsuits. It's weird to me. Maybe it's because I know they're not professional models and so I don't take them, uh, as seriously as models ... maybe? By the way, the headline that goes with these two artists' spread alludes to their activism "on issues like racism, sexuality and feminism," but I don't see a piece published alongside the photos. It feels like the magazine is trying to promote high-mindedness without actually promoting it.
There are four locations for this issue, but all of them are in the United States. In fact, they're all located on the grounds of a Hard Rock Cafe property ... and two of them are in Hollywood, Fla. (The other two are Tampa and that sexy city, Sacramento.) I am pro-USA and I love the Hard Rock Cafe (the one at the Mall Of America closed, so I won't be able to patronize them unless I start travelling the world again), but the domestic-only locales and the partnering with one entertainment entity seems like a cost-cutting move -- however the mag spins it, and even if the pandemic has, understandably, put budgetary demands on the issue's powers-that-be.
Within each of these four shoots, there is a ... "diversity." I'll be a tad more blunt and say that there is at least one "non-traditional" model in each shoot. The shoot that, um, most resembles "classic" Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues of the past probably is the second Hollywood one; the, um, token (my God, I'm going to hell for saying this) is rookie Natalie Mariduena, and she's only, shall we say, slightly bigger than the typical models in this edition. If you refuse to be charitable, you can believe that all four shoots feature turds in the punchbowl. (Yeah, I am going to hell.)
Mariduena is one of eight rookies for the Swimsuit Issue. It feels as though Sports Illustrated is bringing at least half a dozen new models in every new issue in an effort to provide more female forms of every type. That also gives the impression that they're bailing out on models that have appeared in previous issues. So you go back to the veterans of the SI, because of both familiarity and, for shallow people like me, a sense of what this edition used to mean. Thank Buddha, then, for stunning pros like Kate Bock, Emily DiDonato, Camille Kostek, Valentina Sampaio, and Lais Ribeiro, the latter of whom I don't think has been in the issue that long. (I checked the website; I think Ribeiro started in 2016?)
But stunning photos are few and far between. Maybe the introduction of celebrities and non-traditional models have dampened my mood. Or maybe this "wokeness" has led in fact to a change in tone and taste for photos, namely one that less tempts the male gaze and more empowers the female one. (For example, there doesn't seem to be as many ass shots as before, and a couple of the ones in this year's issue are by the Megan Thee Stalion and Anitta.) That sucks, to be real honest; this used to be the most acceptable mainstream publication to masturbate to. I still can pick out standout photos, however:
- Kate Bock, page 54, leaning back and showing off her flat tummy;
- Danielle Harrington, p. 58, her long black braids the only thing hiding her tits;
- Bock again on p. 64, her tummy now looking toned as she walks on the beach;
- You know, I'll give a shout-out to rookie Katrina Scott. She is an online influencer, but her body can get it, as evidenced on page 80;
- Jasmine Sanders, p. 81, ass shot;
- Josephine Skriver and a gorgeous shot of her supple and smooth ass on p. 93 (the more I see this, the more I'm getting hard, no cap);
- Lais Ribeiro, showing off her stomach and some side- and underboob while holding the reins of a pair of horses shin-deep in water on pages 98 & 99;
- And a striking photo on the back cover of the issue: Haley Kalil (she's One Of Us!) gliding face-up on the surface of the water, her boobs barely breaking above the waterline. This photo is used in conjunction with something called the TRX Training Club, what appears to be an online-only fitness, er, company that's partnering with the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue in another effort to break away from the magazine's image of being only eye candy and transforming into one that cares about a woman's health and lifestyle choices -- with Sports Illustrated getting a cut of any subscription, of course.
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