Saturday, June 4, 2022

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -1).  Not a great Week for Twin Cities sports.  The Twinks repeat up here on the top spot despite going 3-5 in the screening Week, most notably losing four-of-five Games in Detroit.  So why are they up here?  Because the other two teams playing right now went winless for the Week.  Go fucking figure.

The injury bug has hit this squad kind of hard, most notably Byron Buxton, who's not on the Injured List but has been mired in a bad slump.  He's not producin', but hey, at least it's not so bad that he's out for, like, two Weeks.  But he is now allowed at least a Game off per series -- "load management," to use an NBA term.  We'll see how that goes.

But injuries aren't the only reason some Twinkies are not playing, at least not in Toronto this weekend.  Canada still (and rightly) has a law that states that no one who is not vaccinated against COVID-19 is allowed in the country.  Athletes aren't exempt, so for this weekend's series at the Blue Jays, Max Kepler, Emilio Pagan, Trevor Magill and Caleb Thielbar aren't on the team because they're fucking anti-vaxxers.  Goddamn, if there aren't enough objectionable players on this ballclub already, what with cheating Asterisk Carlos Correa.  By the way, he is on the IL.

At least those knuckleheads didn't hurt the team that employs that last/Friday night.  They busted out the boomsticks and tripled up the BJ's, 9-3.  Buxton went yard in a three-for-five night, so that's good.  Better yet, both Kyle Garlick and Jose Miranda hit two Home Runs in the tilt.  At least for one night they found the Offense that had deserted them for much of the past Week.

And Minnesota still has a healthy lead in the American League Central Division -- 4 1/2 Games, as of press time, on the Cleveland Guardians.  This recent back-up by the Twinks, while showing that this club may have some holes that need addressing, hasn't hurt them because the rest of the division fuckin' sucks.  None of the other teams in the division are above .500, even though Cleveland is only one Game below it.  The Tigers, who took four Games in that five-Game series versus the Twinks?  They sit at 21-31.  Says some damning things about the Twinks, but Detroit still blows.

However, this upcoming screening Week may flip Minnesota's fortunes.  After finishing up north of the border, they'll come home and play three vs. the fucking New York Yankees.  And then they'll have a three-Game weekend series against Tampa at Target.  Those are the two best teams in arguably The Best Division In Baseball.  These three series and eight Games will show us how good -- or not -- the Minnesota Twins can be.

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -2).  Before writing last Week's WMNSS, I didn't quite know that, beyond noting that New York City Football Club was second in the East, one writer for MLS.com called them The Most Complete Team In MLS.  Upon seeing that, my heart sank.  I had a bad feeling about Saturday night's Match against them.  And frankly, when they scored halfway through the First Half, I kind of thought it was Game Over.  And it was; try as the Loons might, they couldn't tie it up.

Maybe next Week I'll talk about their personnel problem.  But I have volunteered to pull in a full day of work today, so I want to get to bed as soon as possible.  I'll just say that, possibly because he's been pressed into yeoman's work, Dayne St. Clair has been The Best Goaltender In MLS, and experts right now believe he should be getting some love for Most Valuable Player, let alone Goaltender Of The Year.

The saving grace for this XI is that even as they're shuffling, MNUFC is still tied for the final playoff spot in the Western Conference.  Right now they only lose out to the Houston Dynamo for that birth because of the second tie-breaker, which is Goals Scored.  So all's not lost as Major League Soccer pauses for the International Break.  The squad's next Match is a Friendly at Allianz against 2. Bundesliga outfit Paderborn, so its next real contest is at New England on the 19th.

#-3: Lynx (Last Week: -3).  We haven't seen the depths of helplessness and incompetence since before Cheryl Reeve was hired.  Defeats at home to Los Angeles and in Atlanta have dropped the Jynx to 2-8, tying them with, of all clubs, Phoenix for worst in the Women's National Basketball Association.  I don't know what Reeve is planning, or whether the current state of her team is something she expected.  But I do know that this is one sad last dance for the retiring Sylvia Fowles.

They have two consecutive contests at New York, tomorrow/Sunday afternoon and Tuesday night.

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