Motherfucker Back To His Cruel Ways

I'm just kind of running red right now because Father went through my bedroom and threw everything away.  Well, not everything, but the papers I keep around my bedroom which, for some goddamn reason, has always set him off.  I didn't think he would do it, but the occasion of my sister and brother-in-law gave him an excuse to go on his fucking cleaning jags.

I went home to see my bedroom a lot less, uh, "cluttered" than usual, and then I had to really control my temper in order not to lose it.  I acted passive-aggressively after that -- I had to go out and retrieve two bags of my stuff that motherfucker stuffed into the recycling bin (glad I did that; recycling day's today), I stomped into my sister's room and my former bedroom to find my other stuff, and I didn't eat much dinner (there wasn't much I liked anyway).  I didn't want to start a fight with My Fucking Father, but if My Fucking Father wanted to start a fight, I was ready to meet his challenge.  But he didn't, so I didn't.

And yet my paranoia and anger still wells in me.  I had to alter my plans tonight; I wanted to buy stuff at Target in anticipation of them coming back home, but I had to go to my storage unit to give my stuff safe harbor.  But there is still one big bag of my stuff that, for some fuckin' reason, My Fucking Father put into my old room and not the recycling bin.  He might've thought he couldn't throw it away.  But after I leave in the morning -- and I will leave earlier than I do, and because it's Halloween, I won't be coming back till late -- I could see him going outside, looking into the bin, see that I pulled stuff out (if he hasn't already suspected it), and dumping the rest of my stuff there.  Would he be so cruel?  Yes.  He's My Fucking Father.

The only reason I haven't is because, if he doesn't care enough to look at the bin in the morning, then he has done all he wanted to do, and moving even more stuff into storage is wasted energy when I have other shit I need to do.  But considering this supreme violation, I cannot put anything past him.  He had to fucking escalate again because he has nothing else in his life, that asshole.

Anxiety (Should Be) Rising

Alright, I still don't know if I'm going out to dinner with family Sunday, I don't know if my parents have decided they're going out to dinner with family Sunday, I don't know if the headlight bulbs will be delivered in time to use the minivan for dinner Sunday, I don't know if I should get a rental car to use for dinner on Sunday (and I have to worry whether my parents are not going to freak out about getting a rental car too, but that's another layer of anxiety), and worst of all, I don't know if anybody involved with dinner on Sunday even cares.  I'm afraid this entire damn family is just "playing it by ear" when it comes to dinner on Sunday, and we can't.

Are we doing this or not?  I don't like that I feel as though I need to be the one to initiate conversation.  Yeah, I might be the one who most knows what's going on, and I had to buy the bulbs, and I'm the one going back and forth between my parents and my sister.  But you know, they can talk to each other.  They can make plans.  They can fret over plans, such as dinner on Sunday, and not just me.

So that's what I'm afraid of: Them not caring, me standing my ground and refusing to invest more energy than I already am, and then Sunday rolls around and we can't go because we can't drive the van at night.  So, whose fault is it then?  I'm worried about everything else about them coming; I don't need this, too.

I Have To Admit -- I'm Really Starting To Resent Them Coming Here

Yeah, it's the disruption, the (kind of) lack of privacy, and, once again, my sister's need to make things all about her.  She gets that way sometimes, but mostly on big occasions where she's the center of attention, and it pisses me off.

The last time she was here she wanted all the suitcases we have stowed in her bedroom out of her bedroom, and she wanted all her bedsheets washed.  Now, I think normal family members would of course do that for her, and wouldn't need prompting.  I am not normal.  I could sleep in dusty bedsheets for all I care.  I just need a clean damn bed.  But no, she wants what she and my brother-in-law are going to sleep in all clean and fresh-smelling, even if they're only going to be here a week and a half.

And I think I touched on this before, but this dinner in St. Paul on Sunday is really grinding my gears.  First of all, my sister wants to use my car, and I'm going to give it to her.  Also, it seems really damn inconvenient for one group of people who are staying in this house to go out to St. Paul and then have the people who live in the same house go out to St. Paul later that same day.  And then my folks told me on Saturday that the minivan, the vehicle I will purportedly be using whenever my sister and brother-in-law want to use my car, had its headlights short out.  I had to buy them on Amazon; they might get here before they get here, and they might not.  And on top of all that, I realized that the Wild are playing in St. Paul on Sunday, and around the same time as the early dinner.  I am not that familiar with St. Paul, and now I have to worry about getting stuck in hockey traffic, too??

Once I realized the minivan had no night lights and I'd have to deal with Wild traffic on Sunday, I obsessed over it all day at work yesterday/Monday -- like, distractingly so.  I really do love my sister and brother-in-law, and I really want to spend some time with my niece, who is the reason my sis and bro-in-law are taking my car on Sunday.  But I hate, hate, hate these dinner plans the more I learned what I have to deal with.  I could feel my body well up with rage and anxiety and dread and helplessness because I feel forced to do something I really, really don't want to do.

And then it hit me: If I don't want to go, don't go.  At first that thought was insane.  I don't see my niece a whole lot as it is.  If I don't see her on this opportunity, I don't know when I'll see her again.  Also, has she noticed how seldomly I see her?  If I make the decision not to go, well, she has to know, and what will she think of me?  But as I kept thinking yesterday ... you know, my sister did raise the idea that I didn't have to go.  And I am such an incorrigible bastard that I might say, yeah, screw it, I'll see you guys some other time, tell my niece I say hi.  Frankly, I'm leaning that way right now.  It is selfish and self-centered of me, but once I started being more accepting of that decision, a weight was lifted off of me.  And I would do anything for peace of mind, even ditching family.

So I texted her my concerns.  I asked her if our parents wanted to go to dinner and she said yeah.  Guess I should have talked to them directly since, you know, I live with them.  Anyway, my thoughts are moot if they want to go; I can't not go if they're going.  Then again, their desire to go to dinner on Sunday may be moot if Amazon can't deliver these headlight bulbs in time.  (Yes, they can go to a store to get them, but Father did that on Saturday, and he's so goddamn cheap that when I told him we could get bulbs through Amazon for less than half the price he got them at Wal-Mart, he immediately went back and returned them.)  My sister couldn't foresee this shitshow, but in a shitshow like this, maybe this isn't a good idea, you know?  But these fucking plans are going through, and I have to be the dutiful brother/son and just fucking fall in line, no matter the stress and stupidity of the whole thing.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher soccer (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  It has been an impressive screening Week for Gopher sports.  In fact, it may be The Best Screening Week In University Of Minnesota Sports History because the teams at the U. I cover for the WMNSS went a combined 8-0 over the past seven Days.

They are led by the Golden Gopher footballers, who have finally broken through with some notable success under Head Coach Erin Chastain.  They finished up the regular season beating 11th-ranked Iowa, 2-1, the Match-winner coming from Sophia Boman from the spot in the 65th Minute.  Two big benchmarks come with that victory.  The Gophers complete their first undefeated season at home, with seven Wins, two Draws and no Losses, since 2008.  And by downing the Hawkeyes, it's the first time Minnesota beat two teams ranked in the top 15 when they defeated them (the other being then-eighth-ranked Ohio St., 3-2, at Columbus on Oct. 10) in the same season ever.  Those accolades certainly are enough to keep them at the top perch for the survey, and in Positive Numbers as well.

Now, they did finish only as the 7-Seed, and they will play the Opening Round Halloween night versus the 10-Seed, perennial power (though maybe not this Year) Penn St.  Beat the Nittany Lions and the 2-Seed, UCLA, is next Sunday afternoon.  But the XI's on a three-Game winning streak and their first NCAA Tournament appearance under Chastain is all but certain.  Things are, finally, looking up for this program!

#0: Gopher football (Re-Entry!).  Got to be honest: The doomsaying parts of the fanbase are real quiet since the Second Half Debacle vs. Iowa.  This squad has now won three in a row after a thorough 48-23 pasting of Maryland Saturday afternoon for Homecoming.  (That this is the same Terrapins club that came back to defeat my alma mater makes me boil over with rage over how underachieving my team is this Year.)  I also have to be honest in noting how much of a stud Koi Perich has been.  The Esko native is one of the locals P. J. Fleck and the program need to keep home.

Early Saturday afternoon they play Illinois.  Illini Head Coach Bret Bielema is undefeated against Minnesota, spanning tenures in Wisconsin as well as Illinois.  Will that change this season?

#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -4).  Sweeps are better than reverse sweeps.  (By the way, if you don't know, a reverse sweep is when the winning team comes back from a 2-0 Set deficit to win.  I feel as though the term "reverse sweep" is gaining steam as a part of the volleyball lexicon.  If and when it reaches that point, I will capitalize it to Reverse Sweep.)  But also, a Win is a Win, and the Gophers did climb out of that hole to defeat Ohio St. on the road on yesterday/Sunday afternoon.  (Looking at the box score, the details of the Game are kind of strange: Set 3, the tipping point Set won by Minnesota, was 25-22, but the other four Sets, in my estimation, weren't close.)  Add a compulsory sweep at home over Northwestern on Wednesday, and the team is 14-6 overall and 7-3 in the league with a trip to the Michigan colleges this weekend.  Not a bad run of form the team's on right now.

#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2).  I still feel a bit ... I guess sad that Minnesota now has a second university that will be all-top-flight (well, football is a different beast, but they're Division I in everything else) regardless of sport.  The upshot to that is there will now be a definite big brother/little brother dynamic that will play out whenever the University of Minnesota plays St. Thomas.  The men's hockey teams had a two-Game series over the weekend, and the U. played their presumed role of, well, the U., laying waste to the Tommies at Mariucci Friday, 7-1, then doing so against at The Xcel Energy Center Saturday, 6-2.  One can't really call it a rivalry until St. Thomas is able to stand up and beat the Gophers with some regularity.  Meanwhile, these group of icers start B1G play with a pair at home against Penn St.

#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -5).  I've rehashed how disappointed I am with this program in last Week's WMNSS, and beating the hell out of Minnesota State-Mankato in a home-and-away series by a combined 11-4 score does not change that.  This weekend's series at Bemidji St. won't, either.

#-4: Timberwolves (NEW SEASON!!).  And now we get to the non-U. of M. portion of The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  And we'll start with the Timberwolves, who start off possibly The Most Promising Season In Minnesota Timberwolves History, fresh off their tantalizing run that was inexplicably stopped in a five-Game series Loss in The Western Conference Finals to The Dallas Mavericks, who in turn were beaten in five Games by The Boston Celtics in The NBA Finals.  But I'm not mad.

The season started Tuesday on a rancid note, losing to The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.1.0, 110-103, featuring a most hackneyed and contrived moment of history theater when Bronny James went onto the court to play with his father, LeBron, marking the first time in NBA history a father and a son were on the same court together.  But the T-Wolves have righted the ship since, escaping Sacramento Thursday with a 117-115, come-from-behind Win and then beating Toronto, 112-101 in the raucous home opener on Saturday.  It is not lost on me that I have yet to give my thoughts on the trade sending Karl-Anthony Towns to New York.  I will do that some other time, when I have time.  But I will say that integrated Julius Randle will take some time, yet there is no time to waste in integrating him, and seeing he just set the record for Most Points In His First Three Games In A Timberwolves Uniform is a positive step.

This Week: A rematch with Dallas at Target Center tomorrow/Tuesday night, home to Denver Friday, at San Antonio Saturday.

#-5: Wild (Last Week: -1).  Well, the club's record for Most Time To Start A Season Never Trailing had to end at some point, and it did during Minnesota's 4-2 victory over the Lightning in Tampa Bay Thursday.  They then lost their first tilt in regulation, a crazy 7-5 affair at Philadelphia on Saturday.  That the screening Week began Tuesday with a thorough 5-1 domination of The Defending Stanley Cup Champion Florida Panthers (still can't fucking believe Miami has got the Stanley Cup before Minnesota), and there is a noticeable digression in the squad's fortunes, even if they sit third in The Central Division.

This Week they finish their long road trip (seven Games, and it's their first road contests of the season at that) in Pittsburgh tomorrow/Tuesday.  They finally come home to St. Paul for three, starting with a return date with the Lightning Friday and Toronto Sunday.

#-6: Vikings (Last Week: -3).  OK, now's the time to panic.  I said last Week that they should beat the Rams.  They still should have, but they didn't, losing 30-20 Thursday mostly because the Defense, which we lauded Brian Flores for not too long ago, has turned into fucking swiss cheese.  (The no-call on the facemask Penalty on Sam Darnold that otherwise resulted in a Safety was absolutely goddamn horrendous, but remember that even if it were called, the Vikes were still down by eight and they still had more than 80 Yards to get into the End Zone.)  Worst of all, Christian Darrisaw tore his ACL and his MCL in the Game and is out for the Year.  He was the stalwart set-it-and-forget-it blindside Tackle every team needs to ensure success, and now he gone.  Forget about the Super Bowl; is it even assured that the Vikes can even make the playoffs now?  Can they even beat The Bastard Baltimore Colts, a group that is itself reeling under doubts Anthony Richardson is their Quarterback of the future, in a Game that's been flexed to Sunday night?

The Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: September 2024

I think I've shared this sentiment before, but I think I would have liked this month more if I could have hung this up on the wall and passively looked at it for a month.  I could be wrong.  As such and anyway, I am mostly cool to this month, although I can single out five waitresses here (out of the dozen featured this month), two of which I like above all.

In fifth place is Lilly, hailing from Charleston, S. C.  Long, blonde hair, black two-piece bikini.  She's posing against a wall, but her right hand is pressed against it, and it obscures her body, which is a pose I don't like.  What I do like is her smile, which is more of a smirk.  In fact, it may be one of the most demonstrative smirks I've ever seen for a Hooters girl in the calendar.

In fourth place is Ashley, of Galveston, Tex.  Another blonde with long hair, she's sporting a purple two-piece.  She is a little small on top, but she has an easy smile, is grabbing the sides or her bikini bottom, and is facing fully forward, showing off her petite and slim body.

In third place is Ryan, out of King of Prussia, Penn.  Long, black hair with what looks to be a glittery two-piece bikini.  She's under a big trickle of water that's bouncing off of her right tit.  That actually covers up her body, which is displeasing.  But I gotta say, she's got massive titties.

In second place is The Main Girl, Sara, hailing from Daytona Beach.  Long, dirty blonde hair, wearing an orange two-piece with the top cross-strapped.  She is also wearing a thin shirt, and she's posing as if she has just opened it up to reveal her bikini, and her thin bod, underneath.  I like that, along with her Cheshire cat grin!

Finally, I am going to give first place to Jaylynn, of Pensacola Beach, Fla.  Long, scraggly brown hair, in a purple two-piece bikini whose top crosses below her boobs.  It looks like she's standing on a lake beach.  What's most impressive about her is her taut body, which she is showing right straight at the camera.  I don't know if she works out, but damn, that's an impressive bod.  Like her smile, too.

So, congratulations to Jaylynn, and to all of others here worthy of distinction.  I have already masturbated to all of you!

How Disrespected Should I Feel?

So I was at my bar for the Game last night.  Probably because it started so late -- but possibly because I would be a little later in getting there because of the concert -- there was one other guy who showed up.  And he left at halftime.  So I did too.  Hey, at least my team won.

But I noticed something, dammit.  We have our alma mater's flag finally hung up on the ceiling of the bar.  But last/Friday night, I looked up and saw that it was covered up by another flag -- a flag for The Edmonton Oilers.  What the fuck???  I don't get the team -- is there an Edmonton Oilers fan club in the Twin Cities?? -- but what really, really bothers me is that it looks as though this flag was intentionally hung right in front of ours.  It's a ceiling; that flag could be hung feet away.  But it was hung on the same ... uh, it's either a pipe or wood, whatever ... that our flag is hung on.

Why?  Somebody wants to troll me?  I have no goddamn beef with The Edmonton Oilers.  So what's the deal with this?  And obviously bar management had to at least give the OK for this cover-up.  How and why did they let this happen?  Or did they want this to happen?

The manager was there last/Friday night, but it was so damn busy that I thought it better to talk to him Tuesday.  I hope there's a good reason for this.  Otherwise, this disrespect is a line too far -- maybe.

Nope, Still Pissed (It Was Rigged!!!)

Yep, the more I see that bullshit sequence of Breanna Stewart shuffling her feet, taking at least five steps, shooting a miss but getting a bailout call on Alanna Smith, and then learning that all of that was upheld upon review ... yeah, that pisses me off.

Others have pointed out that there was a huge pro-New York Liberty slant on the broadcast, from the announcers to the graphics to the fans (to be fair, Game 5 was in Brooklyn).  But the goddamn Commissioner of the WNBA wearing a frock with the New York City skyline on it is ... it's either tone-deaf or a very, very inappropriate case of favoritism.  No, I'll go further -- all that bias proved that Game 5 was rigged so that the Liberty could win.  I mean it.  You may say that's a conspiracy theory, but the trick is in not believing the fake conspiracy theories and believing the real ones.  And swear to Buddha, Game 5 being in the bag for New York City is a real one, goddammit.

When All The Time In The World Turned Into No Time At All

Had it all planned out yesterday/Thursday afternoon.  After I got my COVID shot, I would go to the drive-thru at Jimmy John's, pick up the sandwich I ordered through the application on Tuesday, drive to work and, until I had to punch in, rest in my car and, maybe, nap.  My shot was for 11:30, and I didn't have to report until 12:30, so maybe I was giving myself too much time, but I thought I would be OK.

Well, man, things got fucked up.  The drive-thru was backed up.  And then I saw a note on the speaker that said it was out, so everyone who ordered had to order at the window.  How long does it take to get a sub you order at the drive-thru window?  I didn't really think about that question.  Instead, I waited.  I waited for about 25 minutes at the drive-thru.

What I should have done I didn't even think of until I finally got up to the window and said to the guy that I ordered and paid for a sandwich -- and saw my sandwich, leaning up against the window.  I had a fleeting thought through my head as I was waiting in line that my sub was already done; I just needed to pick it up.  Well, why in the hell didn't I just park, go in to the store, and ask for it?  I designated my order as a drive-thru, but really, I could've just went in there and told them I didn't want to wait.  They would've gone to the drive-thru window, grabbed that sub (which I think was done at around 11: 15, according to the receipt, so more than an hour before I got it), and I could have been well on my way.

So, why didn't I?  And this is when I get so critical of myself.  I just wanted to shut my brain off, I guess.  It was just very, very easy to wait in my running car for as long as need be.  Also, I queued up at around 12:05.  Again, I don't know how long it takes for a sub to be made, especially one where you order at the window because the speaker doesn't work, so the other workers don't have advance time to make it before you get up to the window and pay.  But I thought I had time.  And by the time I realized it was going to take a long, long time, and I was running out of time to get to work, well, there were cars behind me and I was stuck in the drive-thru lane.  They should make sure drive-thru lanes are two lanes long so you can bypass, for whatever reason.  By the way, I was five minutes late.  Could've been worse, but it obviously it could've been better.

Maybe there are extenuating circumstances.  I really do think that if the speaker box was working, that would've meant enough lead time for the cars ahead of me to get their sandwiches and leave faster.  Also, it was lunchtime, so maybe I should've known that there would be a long line.  But I'm figuratively kicking myself for not realizing and/or not thinking that I could have spared myself a lot of time and drained energy if I just changed my thought process.

Then again, I have had cases where it took longer for me to go in and order than it was to just drive through.  Maybe I need to set some routines in my head so I don't need to use much brain power but use enough of it to help me.  If I can order, and if it can be made, in advance (and I already paid through my mobile app), it would then be better for me to park my car and go in.  If not all of those conditions are met, there is no great advantage gained than if I go through the drive-thru.  Maybe that's a hard and fast rule I should put into long-term memory.  Of course, I don't think I'll be working 12:30-9 for a long time, if ever, so maybe I won't have to set this thought process in mental stone.

I'm just pissed that this happened.

Doing Things With Family Is Supposed To Be Fun

So my sister and brother-in-law are coming home soon to visit.  They obviously have plans -- seeing their friends, seeing my niece, visiting landmarks around the Twin Cities and the state -- and that requires using a car, namely mine because it's newer than my parents' minivan.

Several hours ago she texted me about plans, which are getting more concrete in her head.  The Vikings Game I was going to work was flexed to Sunday night, so that means I'm free that day.  My sister thought that she could take my car to the Science Museum for a day with our niece.  I thought that with me being free now, I could go.  But she intimated that she thought it would be a day of just the three of them alone.  That's fine.  I'm not upset.

The thing that annoys me now, however, is that plans are taking shape for a big dinner that evening in St. Paul.  There are a couple complications that I'm still trying to figure out, and because of that I am kind of peeved.  For one: We are not going together.  Rather, they (my sister, brother-in-law and niece) are going to hang out at the Science Museum and then saunter over to St. Paul because the plan is for the dinner to be early.  My brother and sister-in-law are supposed to drive all the way over there from their home.  And we three (my parents and I) are supposed to drive from home to there.  That brings up the second complication: The minivan only seats two.  It was a work van from its days bringing deliveries from The Store to our vendor/clients, so one day, Father just ripped out the back seats.  They're in our basement now, but I don't know how or even if it's possible to put one of them back in.  So if he can't, what are we supposed to do, have just one of them ride on the floor of the van and get jostled around as we go across the river?

This is where a third car, namely a rental car, would be perfect.  As I've blog posted about before, getting one for a weekend would be perfect in order for them to do all that they want, especially if they want to go somewhere beyond the metro area.  But that would be the second weekend, not the first weekend, which is when the Science Museum and dinner are going to be held.  Them taking my niece to the Science Museum would be fine.  It's dinner that is royally screwing everything up.  Having dinner that Sunday instead would be better, even perfect, because it is my sister and brother-in-law's last day here.  And if we had a rental car, we would have a roomy vehicle for all of us to go wherever we want to go for dinner (and this would assume that my niece would be going with her parents, which are my brother and sister-in-law).

But nope, that won't happen.  Apparently, my brother has already made the reservation.  This planning seems so damn inefficient, and it makes us make inconvenient choices for some days that will also result in huge gaps of nothing to do in other days.  Such a stupid waste.  And now, I need to end this blog post because if I keep writing, I will only get more upset.

Just got finished with lunch, which to my parents is basically dinner.  And even though I should be leaving for work right now because I start in half an hour, the thing I really, really want to do now is nap.  And this is after sleeping for seven hours.  Egad, this second shift is going to be a drag.

Worst Fears On The Road Just About Realized

One of my greatest fears -- and granted, I have many -- is that, while I'm driving, debris from a vehicle ahead of me falls out of that vehicle, and either that debris hits my car or it somehow causes me to get into an accident.  That pretty much happened just now as I was driving home from going to work a second time (only to stash some Subway I bought after dinner tonight to have for dinner at work, as I am pulling second shift tomorrow and Thursday).  I was two cars behind a car pulling a flatbed with a bunch of stuff loosely tied down.  The car between us switched lanes over, and when I saw that the stuff seemed like it could fly off at any time, I started trying to move over to the left.

Just then, that car went over a bump big enough that it jostled the stuff on the bed, and some of that stuff fell off of it and on to the road.  I know that because I saw some of that stuff fall, and I heard a loud "CRASH!"  And I was just having thoughts of my car going over sharp shards of glass and destroying my tires.  That's when I swerved to my left and accelerated so I could get away from the fallen debris as quickly and as far as possible.  I kept looking at my dashboard to see if my low tire pressure light came on, but it didn't.

Guess I dodged a bullet.  But dammit, that scared the shit out of me.  Why isn't it mandatory for drivers to tie down stuff on flatbeds to the point where it won't move while they're driving on the road??

Great Timing Has Just Run Out

So far this season, I have noticed that my alma mater's football Games, for which I organize Game-watching events, have been almost entirely free of conflicts.  I should back up: Our main bar, the place where we see Games most often (and have been for upwards of a decade), is also the watch bar of another university, one that is closer and thus has way more people coming into watch whenever their Games are on.  Furthermore, our place hosts UFC pay-per-view events, and the place gets so packed that it usually is futile to watch one of our Games while there.

The scramble to find alternate places to watch is, to be quite honest, a pain in the ass.  For seasons prior, not only would we need to find a place that would take us in whenever there was a UFC PPV, but also when our university's Game was on The Pac-12 Network, that oft-derided channel that apparently no one in the United States got.  I had to ask for help to find places that had satellite carriers that had the P12N.  Fortunately, we finally found a place out in St. Paul that had it, so we were able to watch there one, two or, as was the case last season, four times.  They were a good place, but there is nothing like having only one restaurant to which we can all regularly go, and once our college moved into the Big Ten, the need to have a back-up bar vanished, thankfully.

Still, there are conflicts, and I need to be aware if and when I need to find a secondary place (like the one in St. Paul) if and when there is a Saturday in which there is little to no chance the people who want to watch our Game will have any space.  I swear that would happen by now.  It hasn't, not really.  The UFC PPVs are monthly, but so far there we have completely missed each other.  Meanwhile, there was one week where our Game overlapped this other alumni groups Game by, like, an hour, but their Game was a non-conference one against some low-major or second-division team, so none of their alumni cared to come and therefore we had plenty of space to watch what we wanted to watch.  Every other week so far, either our Games have been on separate time windows, one of our teams is on a bye, or, in this week's case, our Game is on Friday while theirs is on Saturday.  (Want to note that there is a UFC PPV this Saturday afternoon at 1, and both of our Game Watches are going to be able to avoid that.  Our Game is Friday night, their team has the week off!)

Sadly, that bullet-dodging ends next Saturday -- at least for me, not the group, and not for either conflict I detailed above.  Our Game is at 6:30.  The other alumni group's Game is at 2:30, and there obviously is no UFC PPV.  However, I am a Minnesota United FC season-ticketholder, and there is an MNUFC playoff Game going on at 8 for which I have automatically been charged for a ticket.  Whenever there has been a conflict between the Loons and my alma mater, I have always sided with watching with my fellow alumni and friends, and I would either sell or give away my MNUFC ticket to a friend.  However, because I have already paid for this ticket, because this is a playoff Game, and because my college football team absolutely sucks right now, I'm going to the Game.  But first, to make sure everything is all set, I am going to get there early, buy a beer so I don't look like I'm loitering, make sure there are people coming in to watch and then, around kickoff, leave for St. Paul.  I don't like doing this, but considering the sorry state of my alma mater, I don't have a whole lot of angst, to be honest.

I think I can pull this off.  What I worry about is my good luck ending because one of our Games later on in the year will finally be on at the same time as the other group's.  There is the November UFC event I am scared will cause a conflict also.  In either case, I will be in charge of telling everybody where else to go.  And by the way, there is an outside chance I will be hired to work a Minnesota Golden Gopher football Game to which I will accept.  In that case, I will pray that everything will be alright with my fellow friends, either at our main bar or, worst case scenario, another place I will have to scramble to find, organize, then hope for the best.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3).  Congratulations are in order for the University of Minnesota women's soccer team.  By posting back-to-back Clean Sheets -- 1-0 over Maryland and 3-0 over Indiana, both at Robbie Stadium -- they have clinched a birth in the Big Ten Tournament (the Opening and Quarterfinal Rounds of which will be at Robbie, per this announcement).  Moreover, it appears as though the side's resume is robust enough that the Golden Gophers will make the NCAA Tournament for the first time under Head Coach Erin Chastain.

One more Match left: Home to Iowa on Decision Sunday.  (All 16 teams will play, but they will not all play at the same time.  I think they need to do something about that.)  There's a slight chance the U. will rise into the Sixth Seed and avoid the Opening Round, but if they don't, they will play Halloween ... and I will most likely be able to see them, because I plan on being there!

#0: United FC (Re-Entry!).  It is always good to enter a postseason with momentum.  And after a season where they reached as high as second in the West and then suffered through a middle section where they were out of the playoff field, they complete the Regular Season unbeaten in their last five Matches after keelhauling St. Louis at Midway Saturday night, 4-1.  The Loons were once flirting with being the Eighth Seed and thus hosting the Wild Card Match Wednesday, which I would not be able to go to because I'm working second shift Wednesday and Thursday.  But they've played so well that they've lifted themselves up to the Sixth Seed, in fact, and will play Real Salt Lake in a best two-out-of-three Round One Series, Game 1 of which will be next Week.

#-1: Wild (Last Week: -6).  The club's two Wins this screening Week -- both on the road over St. Louis and Columbus, by the way -- continued a streak that is really impressive: They have yet to trail this season.  Sure, they've lost, in a Shootout at home to Seattle on the 12th and in Overtime at Winnipeg.  But that's past regulation.  See, they've lost, but they've never trailed.  See the difference?

I think they have the fourth-longest streak of never trailing to start a season in NHL history.  Let's see how long they can keep this going as they continue their early, long, six-Game road trip at Stanley Cup champion Florida, Tampa and Philadelphia.

#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4).  It is gratifying to see the Gophs go up to Duluth and take both contests of a two-Game series vs. those dirty-ass Bulldogs, 7-5 and 5-1.  I saw one twitterer (?) say it's the U., Denver, and both Boston schools (College and University) in the Frozen Four.  Slow your roll, clickbait guy.  It's a long season that just got started.  Who knows how this Minnesota team can disappoint you this time around?

A special two-Game series versus St. Thomas this weekend.  Friday's matchup will be at Mariucci.  Saturday's will be at The Xcel Energy Center.

#-3: Vikings (Re-Entry!).  "Bad Losses" shouldn't be a thing, I'll grant you that.  But I don't think the sky is falling after The Detroit Lions came to U. S. Bank Stadium and handed the Vikes their first defeat of the Year, 31-29, yesterday/Sunday afternoon.  While the Lions came back from a 10-Point deficit after one Quarter, the Vikings came back from not one but two 11-Point deficits on Detroit.  They're a good team, a really good team.  And, assuming the Vikes are still what we saw of them when they began the season 5-0, the return date on the last Week of the Regular Season should be something.

Meanwhile the Vikes have to regroup because they have that stupid Thursday night Game on the road.  At least they play The Los Angeles Rams, which should be no trouble.

#-4: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1).  Swept at Rutgers Friday, got swept by third-ranked Penn St. yesterday/Sunday afternoon.  Also yesterday/Sunday, the NCAA did that stupid "Top 16" reveal that does nothing but drives narratives and establishes expectations that fans will point to when their squad isn't as high as they once were.  Anyway, the Gophs slide in at #16.  And they should at least stay there 'cause they can kick over Northwestern at home Wednesday and Ohio St. in Columbus Sunday.

#-5: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -7).  Yeah, the Lynx lost, but I'm not mad at them, as you'll see why below.  I'm really pissed off at the Goofer female icers, who once again have demonstrated they are not the power that they once were.  Top-ranked Wisconsin came into Ridder, and the U. was completely humiliated by the Badgers, and in the two worst ways you can lose -- a 5-0 ass-kicking Friday, and choking on leads of 2-0 and 3-1 before losing 4-3 Saturday.

They played Ohio St. and Wisconsin -- the two big behemoths in women's college hockey, the only two programs any women's college hockey fan should know and care about -- on back-to-back weekends, and they they lost all four Games and gleaned only one Point from them.  This is embarrassing.  They have quickly proven they have not been able to step up to take those two schools.  So what in the goddamn hell are you doing here?  And so what if you sweep a home-and-home with Minnesota State-Mankato this weekend?

#-Infinity: Lynx (Last Week: -5).  Yep.  This is why I avoid seeing my teams in championship Games.  So Sabrina Ionescu hit a Logo Three to steal home-court back in Game 3 (by the way, with the way Twitter was lionizing her obviously great shot, there are a lot of powerful entities on popular platforms who were in the fucking tank for the Liberty ... that really grinds my fuckin' gears, and that's all I'm going to say about that), and Bridget Carleton sank two Free Throws to give the Lynx the lead that stuck when Ionescu missed a Game-tying Three at the buzzer.

So, in a WNBA Finals that seemed to have met the moment the sports world finally took the league seriously (thanks, Caitlin Clark, but no thanks to your toxic "fans" who use your gifts to hammer women playing sports, in particular Black basketball players), the winner-take-all Game 5 was played in Brooklyn last/Sunday night.  And ... well, there are no good ways to lose, but righteous indignation over getting fucked over by the refs at the end of the Game makes losing a title tilt a bit more palatable.  Apparently, Breanna Stewart took, like, five steps after receiving an inbounds play, got a Foul call on Alanna Smith I still don't see after replay, and made both Free Throws which sent Game 5 into Overtime, where The New York Liberty won their first-ever championship, 67-62.

On the one hand, blaming the officiating is as old as time immemorial.  There are always other factors that contribute to the defeat.  The role players besides Napheesa Collier and Kayla McBride didn't have great Games.  Also, Collier blew a Lay-Up in the Possession before Stewart's travel with six Seconds left in the Fourth Quarter and the Lynx up by two.  She makes that and whatever happens on the other end doesn't matter.  Finally, the Lynx's Defense did what they needed to do and shut down the the Libs' two big stars.  Ionescu finished with one made shot and five Points.  Stewart had 13 Points on 4-for-15 shooting, missing all three of her Three-Point Attempts.  You do that and you still lose?  Sorry, but a lot of that has to be on you for failing to stop the Liberty's role players.

On the other hand, here's LeBron James, who knows a little something about basketball:

I’m sorry but that wasn’t a foul! Let the damn players dictate the outcome of a close battled tested game. 🤦🏾‍♂️

— LeBron James (@KingJames) October 21, 2024

I do live in a bubble where I have just scrolled through a fusillade of "THAT WAS A FOUL!!!" tweets.  But believe me when I say that there are a lot of neutral observers who don't live in Minnesota and have no dog in this fight who say that not only did Stewie get away with travelling and getting a phantom call, but the officiating (both in this Game and throughout the, well, league) sucked.  By the way, Collier didn't go to the line once last/Sunday night.  So, yes, Collier shouldn't have blown that Lay-Up ... and Stewart should have been called for travelling and not been given that Foul.  Both things can be true at the same time in this temporal plane.  Also, bad officiating didn't decide this Game and championship ... and a bad no-call decided this Game and championship.  Those two things can also be true and the same time in this temporal plane.

The Lynx weren't predicted to reach the Finals.  I for one thought they would be an also-ran, a one-and-done.  But as much as I like to think this team is just getting started, I know for a fact that life is random, and most times you don't get to build on previous seasons.  Tomorrow is not promised for any of us.  A title was within their grasp last night.  And yeah, the refereeing was not good, but the team let it go.  They just did.

Why I Don't Like Big Macs

Even though I do have my favorites, I'm not picky when it comes to burgers.  So long as it's hot, I think I would enjoy one.  I have realized that when evaluating burgers, what is more important to me than the taste is the, er, "integrity" of the sandwich.  Specifically, I hate it when stuff in the burger falls out.  I want to keep all the food I bought in one place, you know?

I haven't had a Big Mac in years if not decades, but McDonald's recently came out with a limited edition Chicken Big Mac.  There's a Mickey D's on the footprint of Allianz Field that will be torn down in December, so I bought a Chicken Big Mac after last/Saturday night's Match.  And when I got it, I remembered why I haven't bought it in years if not decades.  First, it's on the big side -- not bigger than my whole mouth, but it's big.  But worse than that is all the lettuce that comes with the Chicken Big Mac.  It's shredded, so naturally some of it is underneath the sandwich when I pick it up out of the paper package.  And since I deplore wasting food, I am compelled to pick up those shreds and sprinkle them on top of the bite of the Chicken Big Mac I am about to take.  That's kind of a pain in the ass.  And more annoying beyond that is the fact that it slides too much.  A Big Mac has that third bun, and apparently its surface is smooth because when I take a bite, the middle bun and some of the lettuce above and below it squirt through the back end.  I hate that.  A sandwich's contents can't just stay put, can it?

I didn't mean this to be a food review, but if you want my opinion on whether to get the Chicken Big Mac: If you're not peeved or sliding food that ends up on your table, get it.  Otherwise, don't.

So I'm Kinda Thinkin' About The Lynx

Had dinner with a social group after work last/Friday night, and I ate and drank (and had ice cream at Sebastian Joe's for desert) so much that I got really tired.  Once I got home around 9, I tried to watch Big Ten men's soccer, but my body told me to call it a night.  I made sure to pull the Zynga Poker slot machine once to stay on schedule, then around 9:30 or 10 I turned off the lights, and it was lights out for me.

The Lynx were playing Game 4 last/Friday night.  I avoided even overhearing the score because one more Loss meant they lose the WNBA Championship.  So although I was tired, I turned in mostly to avoid the result of the Game.  I fear the worst, of course, but I had these thoughts that the Lynx won.  And later, I had thoughts that the Lynx lost.  I think I was aware as I thought both opposing thoughts that I was dreaming it (or, in the scenario that they lost, I was having a nightmare), but I still felt euphoria when I thought they had won and resignation when I thought they had lost.

Woke up around 8:30.  At some point I knew I had to come across the result.  I was going to allow Twitter/X to tell me, but I looked at my Facebook first, and at the top of my screen I saw a fellow alum's feed of him at Target Center.  And he wrote a caption: "LYNX WIN!"

Cool.  So they won.  And now I'll be fearing they will lose Game 5 Sunday, and I'll have nightmares tonight about it.

It's Also Weight-Shedding Season

I'm eating too much.  Then again, I don't think I'm eating more than I usually do, even though it's, you know, too much.  But like the leaves turning brown and red and orange and yellow and the grass no longer growing, I now believe that with the downturn in the temperature, my body is also shifting into something akin to hibernation.

I stumbled upon this theory this week, when I felt noticeably heavier than before.  I'm not sure if I'm gaining weight, even though that is a possibility.  But I remember past autumns where I don't have the urge to eat as much as I have during the summer.  That sometimes coincides with an upset gastrointestinal system, which leads to, uh, going to the bathroom a lot.  That hasn't happened yet (I'll try to add more fiber to my diet to get that going), but that this happens this time every year (at least I think) makes me believe that my body really, really doesn't want nor need to carry all the food I eat around, and is doing all it can to tell me to stop shoving food in my face.  When it's cold, my body shuts down because it doesn't feel as though I need that much energy as I would when it's warm out.

Now, whether or not I will heed this signal is another thing entirely.  My parents made excellent food last night, and I chowed it all down.  I don't regret it, but my body might reject it, if you know what I mean.  We'll see when or if I control my calorie intake.

It's The Hope That Kills You. It's *Always* The Hope That Kills You

I planned on going to a speakeasy last/Wednesday night, then thought, "Uh, maybe we need to take it easy here, Unforgivable Wetness," and then I had a surprisingly heavy day at work after a week of relatively no work, and then I drove like a motherfucker to the speakeasy for two cocktails, some pasta and a flatbread.

Me being the sports addict, I think a part of my anxiety and my, uh, unrefined coping skills was the Lynx, who had home-court advantage and was playing Game 3 of the WNBA Finals at Target Center last night.  I saw on Twitter while I was at the speakeasy that they started the Game leading 14-5, leading The New York Liberty to call an early Time Out.  I then made sure not to check the score again, if I could help it.

After eating and drinking, I got an ice cream in the neighborhood.  I overheard while listening to the jazz station while driving home that at some point in the Second Half, Minnesota was up by six.  I went home and promptly fell asleep, even though I did want to know what the score was at some point before the night was through because if they had won, I was going to snap up a ticket to (hopefully) see the Lynx close out the Liberty and win Game 4 and thus the championship on Friday.

I somehow woke up at 11:57 p.m.  I grabbed my phone.  The home screen on my phone has a notification from Apple Sports News ... that Sabrina Ionescu sank a Three-Pointer to win the Game for New York and take back home-court advantage.

Nah, I'm not going to see the Game on Friday.  I'll go out to dinner with friends instead.

It's the hope that kills you.  It's always the hope that kills you.

But Do We Have To Take My Car?

So my sister and brother-in-law are visiting us very soon.  They're staying a week and a half, and I don't have to tell that it's going to be another adjustment that I may or may not get used to before they leave.  I love them, don't get me wrong.  But I like having the house all to myself so I can just, you know, be me.  I just realized, for example, that I might need to take my jerk-off towel into storage just in case either of them want to snoop around my closet while I'm at work.  I don't think I'd be able to touch myself anyway while they're here; my sister's bedroom shares a wall with mine.  We've had conversations through the wall because neither of us wanted to get out of our beds.

She called Father on Sunday, and then he gave me the phone so I could talk to her.  She is really excited to come home (even though she has vowed never to live here ever again), and she already has some things she wants to do while here (besides catching up with friends, of course).  But, surprisingly, they're big.  She wants to take my niece to the Science Museum.  She wants to visit the Paul Bunyan statue in Bemidji.  She wants to take our parents to the Spam Museum in Austin.  And she wants to do all that while driving my car.

Well ... not to say that my car is running bad.  Far from it; ever since my mechanic ripped out the casing around my catalytic converter, it's actually been running like a dream.  But I'm paranoid, you see, and I don't know if this car can handle one four-hour round trip, let alone two of them, and maybe throw in a 2 1/2 hour-one where she needs to drive all the way out to Carver County to pick up my niece, then drive all the way the heck out to St. Paul, and then bring her back to my brother and sister-in-law's place.  What if something happens?

So I thought of something, and it came about through some good fortune, if you want to call it that.  I'm totally free the second weekend they're here.  I have that Friday off because I have some paid time off I need to use and that was one of the only remaining dates till the end of the year that I could use it on.  (In fact, the only set date I have while these two are here is a reservation for three at a critically-acclaimed restaurant in downtown Minneapolis Friday evening.)  My alma mater is on its second bye that Saturday (the way they've been playing, they've had, like, six byes), so I don't have to organize a Game-watching event.  And the Vikings are on the road, so I don't have to work Sunday.  Theoretically, the three of us, and maybe even all five of us if you want to count our parents, could just spend the weekend going all over the state of Minnesota.  But, there is a rental car place within walking distance.  Why don't we (or maybe I) rent a car for the weekend?  That way, we could use the rental to drive to Bemidji and Austin and maybe even St. Paul, and I won't have to worry about the advanced wear-and-tear on my beautiful, precious car.

Come to think of it, renting a car isn't contingent on me having a free weekend.  Well, it still seems like a great idea to me, so I am going to broach this idea to my sister soon.  I think it'll go over well!

I Suck At Fantasy Football

Of the three fantasy football leagues I'm in, I am, after Week 6 finished last/Monday night, above .500 in the one I run (which now has only six Managers after one of them, the son of my best friend, left), at .500 at the one at work, and 1-5 in the one I have cash money in.  And goddammit, I am obsessed with the league I have cash money in.  Not only because I have cash money in it, but also because I am 1-5, and have, more often than not, been awful in that league.  I have finished second once, winning $100.  But I have finished out of the money every other season, and more towards the bottom of the league than the top.

I don't know what it is.  I have one theory that since the commissioner of this league doesn't freeze free agents, every other Manager in this league scoops them up as soon as they see a player blow up and have a great game.  But I think I did that this year pretty well, and I'm still getting my ass kicked.

This week may have been a new all-time low.  My opponent had Marvin Harrison, Jr., and James Cook in his starting lineup.  Harrison left the Game in the Second Quarter Sunday after suffering a concussion and accumulating no points for the Manager.  Cook had a bad toe, and it was announced before his Game last/Monday night that he was out.  Still, the guy I was facing didn't replace Cook with anyone playing the Monday night Game.  He may have been busy, but he may have noticed it didn't matter, because he was beating the shit out of me.  Going into the Bills-Jets Game last/Monday night, he was leading me by about, I think, 104 points.  I had Josh Allen, Khalil Shakir, and Tyler Bass, but of course it didn't matter; he doubled me up, 141.32-70.50.  Two of my dudes, Allen and Bucky Irving, reached double-digit fantasy points.  Of the ten players that comprise our starting roster, seven of his reached double figures, and remember, two of his guys gave him nothing, absolutely nothing.

And here I am, completely embarrassed, again.  Why am I throwing money away at something I'm terrible at?

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3).  I highly doubt they'll reach the Final Four, which is too bad considering the wave of increased popularity for women's volleyball in the wake of the exponential rise in popularity for women's college basketball.  Sweeping Indiana and Maryland on consecutive evenings at the Sports Pavilion is nice, and that's why the get the top spot for this Week's WMNSS.  But beating ranked clubs is where it's at, and against teams who were ranked when they faced them, the U. is 2-4.  Title teams show College Volleyball Nation what they're made of then, and there hasn't been enough good results from the Gophers this season.

No needles will be moving Friday when they visit Rutgers either.  But Sunday afternoon they're at third-ranked Penn St.  An upset likely is not in the cards, but they'll get everybody's attention if they somehow pull it off.

#-2: Gopher football (Last Week: -2).  OK, you fuckers have to cool it.  Yeah, you swept both Los Angeles schools after coming back to beat UCLA Saturday night at the Rose Bowl.  (Man, I thought the Goofs were going to lose and my alma mater was going to win.  Jesus fucking Christ, of course neither thing happened.  Guess it's good I don't bet on Games anymore, huh?)  You have beaten two brand-new programs that may be as bad as they have ever been in their respective programs' histories.  And you're acting like you're going to The College Football Playoff (wanking motion).  I remember three Weeks ago when everybody in this town was blasting P. J. Fleck for getting boatraced in the Second Half of their blowout Loss to Iowa.  And he's been teasing the U. and its fans for, what, almost a Decade now?  You think something huge changed about him after his squad beat a pair of tomato cans that represent a huge city in The West Coast back-to-back?  Calm down.  I'll bet y'all lose to Maryland in two Weeks.

#-3: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -5).  This XI really caught my attention when they upset eighth-ranked Ohio St. 3-2 Thursday in Columbus.  It's the U.'s first Win over a ranked team since 2014 and their first over a top ten-ranked team since 2015.  That should get them some cred; this bracketologist, on Tuesday, had the U. on the right side of the at-large bubble -- if I am reading his blog post correctly.  Sadly, the side could have made it a road trip to remember by beating 20th-ranked Penn St. at Happy Valley Sunday, but they blew a 2-1 lead they built after just 15 Minutes (the first Goal being scored by Khyah Harper, who braced against the Buckeyes and now has 16 Goals on the season) and lost, 3-2.

There are only three regular season Games before the Big Ten Tournament, and luckily for the Golden Gophers, they finish the season with a homestand.  They host Maryland Thursday and Indiana Sunday afternoon.

#-4: Gopher men's hockey (NEW SEASON!).  I'm still not over these guys blowing a 2-0 lead in the national championship Game two Years ago and losing to Minnesota-Duluth.  I remember their Twitter account vowing that they'd be back.  Welp, they didn't go back last season, and I doubt they'll be much better this Year.

They kicked off their season in Las Vegas and The Ice Breaker, a tournament which also included Massachusetts, Air Force and Nebraska-Omaha.  Frankly, if you look at brand names, Minnesota should not stoop to the level of the other three.  And yet here they are.  They dominated the Falcons (that's the Air Force) Friday, 7-1, but fuckin' A, they lost to the Mavericks (that's Nebraska-Omaha) the next night in OT, 2-1.  And I'm just (shrug)

Oh, look ... speaking of the Bulldogs, the Gophs travel to Duluth to play them in a two-Game series this weekend.

#-5: Lynx (Last Week: -4).  I'll be completely honest with you: I have no fucking clue where to put the Lynx in the survey.  They started off the screening Week advancing in Game 5 of their WNBA Playoff Semifinal series by beating Connecticut, 88-77, Tuesday at Target Center.  They then won Game 1 of the WNBA Finals over The New York Liberty Thursday, 95-93 in Overtime, in Brooklyn in what may be The Greatest Playoff Game In WNBA History and The Best Basketball Game Of The Year.  But last/Sunday night they lost Game 2 through a late Libs spurt, 80-66.  (By the way, here's a weird stat for you: The Lynx are now 1-3 this postseason playing on Sunday and 5-0 playing on all the other days of the week.)

Yes, they stole home-court advantage after the Game 1 thriller.  And playing at home means more in basketball than in any other sport.  But while Minnesota closed to within two with about three Minutes left in Game 2, to me, the ensuing reaction by the Libs in blowing them out late feels more like the team the Lynx will have to overcome to win their fifth championship than the one who blew a 15-Point lead with more than five Minutes to go in regulation, blew a Free Throw that would have won it at the end of regulation, and missed a lay-up that would have sent the Game to a second OT.  (OK, those last two things came only from Breanna Stewart, but apparently she came up big in Game 2, so it's that monster the Lynx will have to face here, not the one who inexplicably choked late in Game 1.)

I don't want to put this squad at the very bottom of the WMNSS just because I'm wetting my pants over them losing the Finals.  But I can't put them above all the other clubs who had at least one Loss this Week because I'm not absolutely hopeful they can close out New York in Games 3 and 4 because hey, we're Minnesota.  So of the five other teams that won and lost contests this screening Week ... shit, I'm just putting them in the middle.

Please win.  Please.

#-6: Wild (NEW SEASON!).  I have the same expectations for this organization that I had for the Vikings before they began their season: None.  They are in the second of a two-Year self-imposed salary cap hell when General Manager Bill Guerin decided to trade Zach Parise and Ryan Suter and eat their huge contracts.  They certainly can't make any blockbuster moves until next Year, so the organization is stuck with what they got.  A lot of experts seem very high on the talent, both with the senior squad and those doing time in Iowa.  I don't see it.  Maybe I'm just looking ahead to only this season.

They have suffered diminishing returns to start the Year, winning in regulation at The Xcel Energy Center over Columbus in the season opener Thursday, losing at home to Seattle in a Shootout Saturday, then losing in Overtime to The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers last/Sunday night in Winnipeg.  And in that last tilt, they were without Jared Spurgeon and Joel Eriksson Ek, both of whom suffered injuries in the defeat to the Kraken.  The team was without those two very important pieces of big parts of the Year (and for the former for pretty much the whole Year), and goddammit, that same fucking shit is happening now.  But who cares?  They're not winning the Stanley Cup this Year.

This Week they finish their road trip with Games at St. Louis tomorrow/Tuesday night and Columbus Saturday night.

#-7: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1).  I continue to assert that when it comes to women's college hockey, it's Ohio St. and Wisconsin on top, then there's a not insignificant gap to where Minnesota is.  This weekend was a sad reinforcement of that hierarchy, as they went to Columbus and lost both of their Games, 4-3 Friday and 2-1 in a Shootout Saturday.  The Goofers were ranked second and the Buckeyes fourth or fifth, so it's probable this overwhelmed club will pass Ohio St. on its way down.  I don't know if there is any hope these icers will win a championship, or even shake things up and compete for one.  And oh, look -- the Badgers come to town for two this weekend.  Maybe there will be a better showing from this now-second-tier program.  Or maybe not.

Beyond yesterday's inexcusable Loss, I checked one of my e-mails just now and saw that a fellow alum had a layover at MSP and wondered if he could come up to downtown to watch with us.  He e-mailed just as I was preparing to leave, and frankly, it never dawned on me to check that e-mail all day.  But dammit, I feel so bad not returning his e-mail until now.  I hope he's not mad.

There is a guy from my alumni group who I basically screwed because I decided to go to last Week's Game with this other friend and not him.  I thought he was going to go the Game with his father, which freed me up to go with my other friend.  But when I texted him while at the Game, he said he decided not to go.  In fact, I think he was up north somewhere walking in the woods.  I texted him hours after the Game that he made the right decision.

Just saw now that he spent the day walking in more woods somewhere in Minnesota today.  Once again, he made the right decision.  He's a smart man.  He hasn't let sports take over his life, like I have.

I Can't See The Northern Lights And It's Pissing Me Off

Apparently, the Northern Lights are, like, fucking going off right now.  The Sun, I guess, is in the middle of an 11-year cycle where it's really active, so not only are the lights more vibrant, they can be seen farther and farther south -- to, like, where I live.

But goddammit, I can't see them.  I try looking out my window for them, but I don't see shit.  I haven't seen shit all this week, where apparently everybody's seeing the northern lights except me.  And those people don't even have to go north to get away from all the artificial light.  They're just looking up through their window and the skies are dancing in greens and purples.  I know they are because those fucking people post their beautiful photos on Twitter, and that pisses me off even more.  You goddamn right I have FOMO, and if I still can't see the aurora borealis just by looking up, and if I still have people fuckin' shoving photos in my face of the northern lights they see as they lie in their bedrooms, I'm gonna go off.

This Weekend, It'll Just Be Me And Him

Mother's going on a girls-only road trip this weekend.  This, I think, is her third one.  I'm glad that this time, she actually told me beforehand.  And I'm also glad, although I was surprised when Father told me she was spending those two weekends away, that she has girlfriends with whom she can go on road trips.

So that leaves Father and me this weekend.  That will be strange as all get out.  I really think that without Mother as a buffer, he will feel free to lecture me around the dinner table about cleaning my room and going back to school.  It's been a while since he hectored me about that, but anticipating the worst this weekend, I might react to it, uh, not well, let's just say.

I wanted to take the heat off leading into this weekend by doing things that make it look as though I am being a productive member of this household.  Namely, I had intentions this week of cleaning up my room.  But instead, I had a movie I wanted to go to Monday (I told my folks I was going to work out), on Tuesday I had to visit my alumni bar downtown, and Wednesday and last/Thursday night I just fell asleep after dinner.  And I had plans on exercising for real at least one of those days.  So, those best laid plans are ruined, and I have invited My Father to call me on the carpet for doing nothing around the house.

And yet, beyond all that, I am now worried about Father's health.  There is nothing telling me he is sick or going to hurt himself.  But I have never worried about him because he is never alone.  Seriously, I cannot remember my parents being apart for more than a weekend, such as this weekend.  But I go to work today, and tomorrow/Saturday I have that Game-watching event, and then I plan on working on my receipts while hanging out at a coffeeshop after that Game.  Meanwhile, he will be all alone, and while I am worried about his old age, I am also kind of scared he'll get bored out of his mind.  Then again, like I alluded to above, I don't know if I can stand being alone with him, either.

Mother comes back Sunday.  I hope it's closer to the morning than the evening.  But she doesn't even know the city the hotel she's staying in is located.  I will hope Father remains in good spirits while she is gone.  I will also hope I don't kill him.

Have I Mentioned How Much I Hate Going Into The Lab?

I don't know why my work schedule is getting to me this week, but it is.  I was in The Fourth Department to start off the week, and then yesterday/Wednesday I was in Filing for the first half of the day, then keying the back half.  Today/Thursday I am in The Third Department to start off, but only for two hours, then I'm in My Main Department the rest of the day, working the scanner in the afternoon, and I don't know how good I feel about that.  Finally, tomorrow/Friday I'm out there all day, including my weekly trip into the lab to cut open packages and reach into piss.

My time in My Main Department increases throughout the week from zero to four to six to eight, and while I usually like varying my workday because it keeps me awake, seeing my workweek end in the lab this week puts me off.  It ends my week with a thud.  I prefer (at least right now; my mood can change if you ask me another time) getting the worst part of my job out of the way in the middle of the week because my workweek only gets better from there, while this week will end in a nadir.

It probably is my own fault, but I have made little to no effort to make my time back there a good or even an endurable one.  Case in point was my time in there last week.  I unfortunately had to work next to the old hag, the one who threw a package I shoved her way in order to get all the work done.  Partly because of that, uh, incident, but also because I was in hell, I just kept to myself -- I didn't grouse or bitch, but I certainly wasn't gregarious.  I just did my job in order to be done with it.

It is possible that this, uh, lab worker was making entreaties to me, but I admit that any time she said something to me, I kept my comments to a brief "OK" without making eye contact.  Was it possible that my terseness was the reason that, when I moved over an open package from one side of the table to the other, she angrily yelled, "Leave that over there!  We are closed!"?  Probably, possibly, who knows?  All I know is that because of that moment, I am justified in not acting totally friendly to her.  Seriously, what is her fucking problem?

Meanwhile, my problem is that I hate this part of the job so much that it's beginning to affect my whole job.  I don't have to do this crap until tomorrow and I'm allowing it to piss me off.  But I can't help but think about it because I know I will have to do it.  You know, that reaction should be impetus enough to find a new job.  And I guess I will ... when I have the time and the energy to do it.  Which is not now.

Slow-Walked (-Cut?) Into Bad Luck

OK, I no longer remember where I saw it, but I read in a book when I was a kid that you shouldn't cut your nails on Wednesday, Fridays or Sundays.  That has stuck with me ever since, and so I don't trim my nails on those days.  I have never tried finding that superstition till just now.  I haven't seen any consensus about this on the Internet (of course), but more than a couple sites have this nursery rhyme about, I think, not cutting nails on Fridays and Sundays, meaning Wednesdays are A-OK.  Then again, there apparently is a Hindu superstition that the only days you should trim your nails are Wednesdays or Fridays.  And then there's the whole concept of time zones.  I mean, like, it's Wednesday somewhere ... right?

Such are the vagaries of and lack of logic behind superstitions, but like I said, I make it a habit of not doing it on Wednesdays, Fridays or Sundays.  I say this, however, because I just cut my nails just now, on a Wednesday.  But I didn't mean it!  I showered, and that obviously softens up my nails, and so I do my normal routine of trimming my fingernails, going into my bedroom to put my glasses on, hoping the bathroom is cool enough not to fog up my glasses, hoisting myself onto the bathroom counter, curling up into a ball, and cutting my toenails.

The problem is that it took a long time.  I actually went to my bedroom before I trimmed my fingers because I wanted to check what time it was.  It was 11:43, so I had time to cut all 20 of my nails -- or so I thought.  I got done with my final nail (actually, come to think of it, I only trim 19 because I still don't cut my right pinkie toe; otherwise it might rub up against the inside of my Doc Martens boot to the point it gets raw, and I think I blog posted about this a long time ago) and finally retreated into my bedroom for good.  I then checked my watch to make sure ... and it was 12:05.  Shit.

I know I probably am not a fast nail trimmer.  But did it really take me 20 minutes to cut all my nails?  Does it usually take that long?  Saying that, I could have avoided this predicament if I just showered for a shorter amount of time.  I think I started a quarter past 11.  I know it doesn't have to take me almost half an hour to shower, but I like the me time while I'm in there.  And beyond that, I could have started my shower earlier, but I was doomscrolling through Twitter/X about Hurricane Milton.  (Aside: One of the hot models with whom I'm "friends" on Facebook noted that potentially one of the most destructive hurricanes of all-time, and this is shaping up to be a horrific monster of a storm, has one of the fucking dorkiest names you can have ... Milton.)

So, if I follow the superstition I have followed all my life based on a book I read as a kid, I just screwed myself.  Maybe I should have set a timer, given myself a two-minute warning whereby I know I would have to hurry to finish my nails on time.  Whatever.  I guess I'll die on the road tomorrow because I was too slow cutting my damn nails.

Goddamn Sun In My Eyes Weather

I do love autumn, but this is the time of the year where the sun rises just as I am getting to work.  And since I primarily have to head east to get to work, the fucking Sun is in my eyes.  It's on everybody else's eyes, too, and that's why I think traffic is so backed up nowadays: Everyone has to drive slower because they can't fucking see.  I know the cycle of the sunrise is going to change, but dammit, I hope it changes soon, because I am going to other burn my eyes out, get into a crash, or both.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Vikings (Last Week: -2).  Going into the Bye Week, I had these guys pegged, at best, at 2-3.  I don't think any of us were expecting anything from this club this season.  But look at them now, look at them now; by hanging on to defeat The New York Jets in London, 23-17, they are one of only two undefeated teams right now -- and if somehow New Orleans were to upset The Bastard Dallas Texans tonight on Monday Night Football, they will stand alone as perfect.  Giving the Vikes the top spot and Positive Numbers is a no-brainer, no?

For the second Game in a row the squad had to hold on, but also for the second Game in a row, the Defense stepped up to hold back the opposing Offense.  At Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, that took the form of picking off Aaron Rodgers thrice, the last from Stephon Gilmore in the last Minute that salted the Win away.  I may have said it before, but if so, I'll say it again: Brian Flores is a fucking Defense whisperer, and he should get another Head Coaching job even if he is suing the NFL.

A huge one in two Weeks: Hosting Detroit.

#0: United FC (Last Week: 0).  Even though I am a season-ticketholder, I am still learning how soccer works.  So I look at the record, see that drew at Salt Lake, beat the Whitecaps in Vancouver, 1-0, sewed up a playoff spot and put themselves in contention to even get out of the Play-In (I guess MLS is calling it the Wild Card Match), and even though they don't have a perfect record, they should get out of negative numbers.

After starting off gangbusters and tailing off big-time in the middle of the season, the side are unbeaten in their last four Matches, and heading into the postseason with a head of steam is the best way to go into the playoffs.  Eric Ramsay apparently wants his players to be flexible but Defense-minded, and many writers believe he finally is getting the type of XI he wants to field.  And while Joaquin Pereyra has overwhelmed so far, Kelvin Yeboah has almost poured in as many Goals as Games he's played in.  And apparently (again, I can't see this myself), Carlos Harvey has been a revelation at Right Back, a position which is not his natural one.  He did yeoman's work filling in for Michael Boxall, who served a suspension for Yellow Card Accumulation after getting booked in the Real Salt Lake contest.

I wish these guys were good enough at least get home-pitch advantage for the First Round, but like I said, positive momentum is also a very good thing.  And they have one final tilt, home to St. Louis, on the 19th, to stay hot.

#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1).  I just assumed Boston University would have a good women's team because BU usually has a good men's team, but it looks as though they're unranked, so maybe sweeping them at Ridder Arena (1-0 Friday and 5-2 yesterday/Sunday afternoon) ain't such a huge accomplishment.  Still, the team is perfect through four Games.  Now comes the heart of the schedule already: The U. begins WCHA play with a two-Game series in Columbus vs. Ohio St.

#-2: Gopher football (Last Week: -5).  Look, I'm going to tell you all this now: Beating my alma mater isn't impressive.  I guess you all stormed the field; I didn't look because I was too fucking depressed that my team lost to you mediocre motherfuckers.  Because, and I'm not trolling, your team didn't win; our team lost.  My team didn't respect you guys.  My team didn't take the Golden Gophers seriously.  Add to that subpar Offensive Line play, a Quarterback who has been quite shaky the past three tilts, some questionable Penalties and a bullshit Referee reversal from short to Touchdown even though you had no goddamn irrefutable proof on replay Max Brosmer crossed the Goal Line, and my worst fears came true.

But go ahead and take selfies of yourself in the middle of Huntington Bank Stadium.  You beat a name brand, not necessarily a decent team.  Because knowing this team and this program, they're going to head into The Rose Bowl on Saturday and lose to UCLA.  I can almost guarantee it.

#-3: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3).  Went out to Los Angeles.  Beat UCLA in five thrilling Sets Friday (was able to see the end on my B1G+ app, which is free for alumni of the four schools that came over from the Pac-12, and I need to thank my friend for the tip), then lost to my alma mater in four Saturday.  Hey, at least my alma mater beat the Gophers in something!  While I think these players sport a good resume, at 2-2 so far in-conference and 9-5 overall, I don't know how high of a seed they'll get come tournament time.  This weekend they host Indiana and Pur Maryland.

#-4: Lynx (Last Week: -6).  OK, so I was a bit negative after they lost at home in Game 1 of their Semifinal series versus Connecticut.  They won Game 2.  And then they went to that casino they play in and won Game 3.  But yesterday/Sunday afternoon the Sun won Game 4, setting up a winner-take-all Game 5 at Target Center Tuesday night.  This would be the type of Game that would sell out.  But are team and arena officials even pulling off the tarp to the upper level for this Game after keeping them on for the WNBA Playoffs up till now?  (I just checked the team's website; apparently none of the upper bowl is being sold.  Damn, folks, bad look for a league taking advantage of a massive infusion of popularity.)  The team either faces a quick turnaround to face New York in Game 1 of the WNBA Finals Thursday ... or their season ends ignominiously in a half-filled arena.

#-5: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -4).  This was a very successful screening Week for local teams.  The only one not win at least one Game this Week were the Gopher soccer club, and they didn't lose, they just tied Northwest on Friday at 1.  Their 8-3-2 (Win-Draw-Loss) Record appears to be good enough, at least for now, to put them at the heart of the tournament conversation, at least according to The Only Website I Can Find That Is Doing Women's Soccer Bracketology (which is different from previous websites that have tried bracketology for this sport).  But they have a tall task ahead of them this Week: On the road to face seventh-ranked Ohio St. Thursday and 15th-ranked Penn St. Sunday.

Babe At Game

Last night's Game sucked, but I have to say this: There was this absolutely gorgeous woman sitting in the row behind me.  Long, straight brown hair, blue eyes, and she was wearing this thin green top that cut off at her awesome, awesome stomach.  I couldn't stare at her long because, well, I can't do that, but also because she probably was a fuckin' Gopher fan.  But she was ... uh.

Addendum To: Never Follow Sports

Yeah, reconfirming this, last night was ... yeah.  Never follow sports.  They'll only break your heart.

And So The Time Is Nigh. ...

Soon after I publish this blog post, I will be jetting off to the University of Minnesota campus.  Hopefully I will build in enough time to find a parking spot, for free, that will allow me to walk to the pre-Game even I'm volunteering for and then the stadium for the Game itself.  I will take a spot that is up to two miles away from the stadium and that will take me a half-hour to get back to my car.  I have done similar only one other time: For U2's 360 concert at then-TCF Bank Stadium.  It was the right thing to do, and I am going to do it again.

But do you want to know what's on my mind right now, moreso than the anxiety I'm feeling about finding a parking spot, doing my volunteer work, getting to the Game on time and hoping my team won't get upset?  The guy I got into a heated spat with on Facebook over Trump's "assassination attempt."  He got so fucking pissed off he transformed into some ugly creature, not just a different person.  Well, he'll be there, and I don't know how he's going to be towards me.  Will he act like nothing happened?  Will he apologize?  Will he want to continue the argument with me in front of hundreds of people there to watch something else?

I'll just lay it all out here: Ever since we backed away from our fighting, he's been pretty cordial on the Facebook group we're both in.  As long as we (apparently) don't talk about politics, it seems as though he is behaving.  But a part of me thinks that this is an opportunity for him to come to the bar for our pre-Game, walk up to me, and fuckin' slit my throat.  And it'll be inexplicable -- "Why in the hell would he do something like that?"

Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

While I look forward to the Game and to meeting up with old friends, some of whom are flying in from out of town and I haven't seen in years, I am kind of going to be glad once the day is over.  I feel "on" right now, with my volunteering stint and making sure everyone knows what they want to know.  I want to be "off" right now, but I can only do that once I get back home.  That won't be a while, and the paranoid side of me is scared I won't come back at all.

Another Instance Where I Hesitated And Lost

I've always wanted to see The Searchers, the John Wayne film regarded by many as The Best Western Ever.  The revival theater has a special screening of it on Monday.  They even have a 70 mm print.

I, however, did not buy a ticket in time online.  I checked tonight and the screening is sold out.  Dammit, I should have jumped at the chance earlier.  I actually knew a couple months ago that there would be a showing this on this date.  But then life intervened and it slipped my mind ... until I, in a moment of idling, checked the website some time ago and saw it was coming up soon ... and then I forgot again until I checked the website again.  Then, once I did, and this was Monday (I think), I fell into my OCD principles of not spending money on days when I didn't plan to spend it, and using only one form of payment (either cash or credit) on days I did spend money.

Bear with me: Since I had to come into work at 7 Monday and Tuesday, I would have no time to buy something to eat before getting to work, so those were both no-buy days.  And Thursday I had a stripper party to go to, and since *****y had to be paid in cash for, uh, what we did, I was only using cash the entire day, and I can't buy a movie ticket online with cash, of course.  I finally planned on buying that ticket to The Searchers last/Friday night, but I was too late.

I left out Wednesday purposely.  On that day I was using my credit card to eat at this vaunted new restaurant and to get my face shaved.  I used my credit card for both transactions, so naturally I could have -- and should have -- used it to get me a ticket.  But I didn't.  I think that I either forgot or thought that The Searchers wouldn't sell out.  Either way, I was wrong.

This happened once before.  I don't remember which movie, but I went to this same theater thinking I could just buy a ticket.  When I was told the screening was sold out, they offered to put me on a waitlist.  I waited, and then I got in.  There were more than several people on this waitlist, both ahead and behind me, and we all got in.  So I am going to do that again Monday, and I am going to hope that fortune smiles on me again Monday.  Otherwise, I would be going out a second time for nothing, and I hate that.

I've Got A Ticket ... Right?

I'm going to toot my own horn here.  I was able to set up tickets for fellow alumni for the Game against the Gopher football team tomorrow/Saturday (shit, is it tomorrow???).  Between setting it up, getting the word out, keeping people in the loop and answering any questions people may have, we are close to 200 tickets sold, which is an absolutely mind-blowing number.  I don't get any money or anything from it.  I'm just glad that so many of us alumni (and I assume most of the 200 tickets have been bought by people from the Twin Cities area) are banding together and making a day, and maybe even a weekend, out of it.  It is the community-building that makes me the most happy.

In the swirl of the past few months setting this all up, I have been somewhat cognizant I have to practice self-care, too.  In other words, as I have been making sure everyone who wants to buy a ticket gets to buy a ticket, I have to make sure I get one for myself.  I had kind of remembered that I need to do that, but that went from the back burner of my mind to the front burner when I ran across someone I know wondering if I could sit with him.  That's when I went, Oh yeah, I need to do that.

I still don't have a ticket.  Yet.  Sort of.  I had two people reach out to me asking if I could sit with them, but around the same time the first of several people said that she had an extra ticket and wants to offload it.  Since she had already bought that ticket and those two hadn't, I waited several weeks to see if she could find someone else.  In the meantime, luckily, those two found someone to go with.

The problem is that she has not been as, uh, responsive to my admittedly more frequent e-mails to her about this extra ticket.  I think she said that she has stopped looking and that it's mine.  But she has yet to tell me how she wants me to pay for her ticket.  We haven't yet discussed how we are going to get to the Game together, or even if it's possible she transfers the ticket to me and we get into the stadium separately if her plans before the Game differ from mine.  What I think is complicating all this is that she is very, very sick.  I follow her on social media, and she has been pretty forthright and active in detailing her daily struggles and her frequent trips to the doctor.  This leads me to believe that she might be too sick to go tomorrow.  She is a huge fan, and I know she wants to see the Game.  But she continues to get blood work done and she oftentimes confesses how tired she is.  I can totally see her telling me that she can't go because she's just too beat.  And if that's the case, where I am then?

I e-mailed her asking her how to pay her back and when she wants to start walking to the stadium, and she hasn't answered.  So that's where I am.  I need to draw up a contingency plan in case this all falls through.  I don't want to not trust her, but normally, every detail over this very important event would be ironed out by now, you know?  Gosh, I'm nervous over this.

More Free-Floating Anxiety

I am getting not more excited but more anxious as the Game Saturday is looming.  I organized a lot of things, and I am scared that I am missing some sort of key piece that will ruin the day.  That's why I e-mailed a bunch of people tonight to make sure they all know what's up.  I have many more to send tomorrow.  And I still am scared that something will get screwed up and that it truly would be my fault.

And then I am scaring myself with the impending transfer of the house to me.  Once my parents sell the house to me, are they ever going to come back?  I am going to leave everything the way they are.  Their bedroom is still going to be their bedroom.  Hell, I am still going to act as if they own the place.  And above all of that I'm scared that somehow I will be too poor to keep up the house.

Do you know my cure for all this anxiety?  Strippers.  I didn't plan on going to the one that's happening tonight/Thursday night, and I still might not.  But the one *****y was going to have at her place was moved to a fellow stripmonger's place in north Minneapolis, and that's way closer to me.  If I get out of work real early (like has been happening this week -- for some reason, there has been no work), I might just try to seek, uh, solace from the hands (and possibly mouth?) of a beautiful stripper.

My Window Has Been Open For, I Think, Two Weeks

Noticed that over the weekend.  We've had a period of time where the weather is hot enough that I can't keep my bedroom window closed, but it's not so hot (or humid) that we have had to turn on the air conditioning.  And there hasn't been any rain, either.  So for I want to say the past couple weeks fresh air from outside has not only been OK but ideal.  I will say that tonight has gotten a tad chilly, but since we will go past 80 during the day, I have put on a long shirt to sleep in and will continue to leave the window be.

The weather is going to continue to be warm and dry, so I think I can continue to leave the window this open for, gosh, weeks possibly?

My Self-Imposed Monthly Data Limit? I Fucking Blew Past That

And I really don't know how.  I think I have stayed with my routine of using my data during breaks at work, but somehow, this month, I have surged past the 2 GB limit I once had and continued to hew to for the first time in a long time, if not ever.  It seemed to spike on Saturday when a guy I was watching the Game with Airdropped me a photo he took of all of us watching the Game.  But I just checked my itemized data usage and it looks as though the vast majority of the 2 gigs I've used have come in chunks while at work.  It didn't seem to take that much with my old phone.  Either this 5G network is an energy hog, or Twitter/X has become an energy hog since Elno Musk bought it.

Oh, well.  I am fairly sure I have unlimited data in my plan, so I guess I can use as much data as I want now without giving a damn.  Sure, it was artificial, but the 2 GB limit per month was something I prided myself on, as a means of self-control.  Well, shit, I guess I have no self-control now, and I might as well keep my phone on 5G all the time.  Who cares now, right?

Free-Floating Anxiety (Again?)

So the big Game's Saturday, and I want to make sure everyone knows everything they need and want to know, and I'm scared that something bad is going to happen and that I should have done more to stop it from happening, and I'm scared that because of that, people won't have any fun.

In the meantime, Mother reminded me that she is going to sell me the house, to which I'm scared that I will fail to keep it up.  And I put oil on the back of my head to get rid of the warts and rashes there, and I wonder if the people at work will be able to smell the peppermint even after I go to bed.

Man, I want to think things in my life are good, but are they, really?