Assholes All Day, Man

Sometimes the lab is expecting something from me, but when there isn't anything from me because there's no work, I've been trained to e-mail that there is not anything coming.  This something has to come by 11 o'clock Saturdays, and once I forgot to e-mail and someone from the lab e-mailed me saying hey, where's thing something.

OK, so there's nothing of this something today, because it's the Saturday after Thanksgiving and there's no work.  (I was able to clean my desk in this department and stretch my day till 1:30.)  So I do the courteous thing and alert these people not to expect anything.  That's all I did.  So I get this bitchy message back saying ... well, I don't think I can divulge this particular piece of information, but she basically said, "I already told you we don't have anything for you."  OK, I kind of screwed up last week by asking if they have something for me when they never have something for me on Saturdays, so maybe that's behind the bitchy tone.  Or there is no bitchy tone because you can't tell tone through e-mail.  But when the person capitalizes the word "NOT," my ears prick up.  Because I don't think all caps is all that professional.

That reminds me: A couple months ago I took in a phone interview from a temp agency.  I promised to send my interviewer an updated resume.  I should update and send it.

I can imagine blowing up on her if she brings it up.  Then again, I need to know who the hell this person is.

---

Oh, I bought something to eat while watching the Gophers-Badgers Game.  Didn't know what I wanted, but then I remembered Jimmy John's is advertising this smaller sub for three bucks.  I go in, forgetting that I usually get indifferent, if not shitty, customer service.

And that's what I got.  The lazy asshole mumbled my total, and when I asked my receipt, he bitched at me: "You'll get it with your sandwich."  Oh, excuse me, sorry, how elitist of me.  Dumbass needs to be fired.

I have heard of the quote that comes from the TV character Raylan Givens of the show Justified:

If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole.  If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.

Nah, not me.  I ran into two assholes in the late morning/early afternoon, so they're the assholes. 

Where My Boss Is Telling Me To Leave Early And I Don't Want To

Yesterday/Friday at work I got an e-mail from my boss saying that tomorrow (which is today as I blog post about this) that I will be shunted off to a different department.  We've been scrambling the past couple days; as appears to be the case, the days before Thanksgiving are slow, and the days after it are very slow.

I will be the only one in this department, but that has always been the case when I cover this department on Saturdays.  However, considering the paucity of work, my boss through in this proviso.  Paraphrasing: "Once you're done, take paid time off."

Uh, so I won't be working my full eight hours?  I don't think my boss has ever told me, flat out, that there won't be enough work to cover a full day.  Furthermore, I know my boss has never ... well, I'll say it ... ordered me to take paid time off.  I don't want to take paid time off.  I have it, but I want to save it because there are some broadcasting duties and vacation I want to take off in the spring.  I barely have enough of a "float" of vacation hours as it is; I'll still have some after today, but it still makes me uncomfortable.

And on top of all that, I don't exactly know how much time I'll need to take off.  I was told by a person in the department that I could get done with everything in 90 minutes.  That sounds weird to me, because there are some timed tasks that will force me to stay for at least half a day.  Moreover, this is the type of job where things can come in all the time, even considering that this is the Saturday after Thanksgiving.  It may look like there's nothing else to do, but what if I decide to leave (and my boss he'll defer to my judgement) and there's work that comes in after that?

I find what I am going to face today uncertain, and I don't like uncertainty when it comes to not having work.  Moreover, I kind of don't like being told what to do.  Well, my boss can tell me what to do; telling me to take off work seems strange, however.  And again, while I will be getting paid even if I take off work (something most people usually would be OK with), I could use this paid time off when it's more convenient for me, not for him.

Maybe I should just act like it surprisingly got so busy that I had to stay the whole eight hours?

With all that being said, there is one wrinkle: Someone on the alumni club's Facebook page says he has one extra ticket to the Minnesota-Wisconsin Game this afternoon.  If I can snag that ticket, I will be totally OK leaving work early.  In that case, I have to hope I don't get socked with work.  Regardless, I have no idea what's in store for me when I get into work today.

Nightmare (Sort Of)

Went to bed around 10:30; woke up around 4.  OK.

Been lolling around trying to go back to bed, and I fell asleep probably just before the alarm woke me back up.  But I tripped deep enough that I had a nightmare.  And I think it was one fashioned by that old cop video game from my childhood, APB.

It's played on an overhead perspective.  But the part of the nightmare I remember was from a standard side view.  I was in this pit or enclosed area, and I was knocking things either in my car and just by myself, and I needed to get something inside these things.

And then the alarm woke me up.

That's all I remember.  And that's all I can blog about, because I have other things I need to do before I go to work.  Thanks.

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: September

Holy damn, I'm so late.  OK. ...

This is a great month.  Might be the best so far.  Nearly all of the 14 hotties look and pose great.  I'm really hard picking out favorites, but I think I did.  But allow me to give a list of great also-rans:

• Gabrielle, Madeira Beach, Fla.;
• Bernice, Willowbrook, Tex.;
• Rebecca, Fort Smith, Ark.
• Ciera, Cleartwater, Fla.;
• Kristin, Sarasoata, Fla.;
• Julaporn (tee-hee), Addison, Tex.;
• and Saleena out of New York City.

Third place is Emily, from Columbia, S.C.  She's in side profile, but her lavender two-piece bikini shows off her nice abs.  Plus she's got great long hair and beautiful, beautiful smile.

Second place is the featured babe, Victoria, also out of Clearwater, Fla.  She is wearing a blue two-piece, and her top looks more like an athletic top than a bikini top.  It makes her look athletic.  And I see her body, and she looks so ... so ... athletic.  Yessssssssssssssssss

With that being said (and yes, this is the closest month so far), I have to give it to Ember.  Why?  Ember comes from Fairview Heights, Ill., a suburb of St. Louis.  And back in the spring I vacationed there.  I brought the Hooters calendar with me and went to the Fairview Heights restaurant in the hopes that any of the (I think) four calendar waitresses of that restaurant were there to sign my calendar.  In fact two of them were.  One of them, Shaina, became a manager (also, she was in January).  (ETA that I just looked back at the Hottest Hooters Babe for January; I wrote that Shaina's photo was ruined because she posed with her arms crossed in front of her stomach.  And I also left a mental note to myself [a note that I did not look back to and heed] to bring the calendar for Shaina to sign!  And she was there to sign it!!  Yippee!!!)  But Ember was there.  She wasn't my waitress that evening, but she came over to sign.  Honestly, her photo wasn't the best, although she is plenty cute in person.  But I have an autograph from her saying, "From a hootie, to a cutie!"  So I have to put her first!

Regardless, I'll be beating off to all these ladies -- maybe before I catch up with October and, now that it's November 28, November.

I Might Die, Just Want To Let Y'all Know

I felt pretty industrious last night.  It helped that the snowblower worked, because I spent under 90 minutes clearing the driveway.  That freed me up to clear the back deck and even rake most of the roof.

However, I have felt something in my heart.  Felt that Tuesday night when I began shoveling.  It is hard and wet snow, but I have a feeling that if it were soft and dry, the shoveling is taxing my body.  It got particularly bad after I laid on my bed, where I was passing out, sort-of.  Maybe I was tired.  Or maybe blood wasn't pumping through my heart.

I'm alive now, of course, and my chest pain has subsided -- sort of.  I plan on going to exercise, then buying a Thanksgiving dinner to eat for lunch.  I will head back outside to rake the rest of the roof and, if I'm enterprising enough, throw melting pucks onto the roof.  And I hope to not have a heart attack today.  Just to let y'all know.

Oh -- Happy Thanksgiving.

Winter Ain't No Thing With A Snowblower That Works

Was thinking/praying all day at work that the snowblower would work.  I would try and dig my way out of six inches (I measured that this morning; the official report closest to me had 8 1/2") if I had to, but I really, really didn't want to.

Once I got home I plugged the thrower in.  I had to dig out the instructions to re-remember how to turn it on, or at least try to turn it on.  And I hit the electric start button and ... it fired up immediately.  And unlike some times before, it did not poop out in the middle of my driveway clearing job.  I plowed the snow until it was all gone.  And that includes the snow I pulled down from the roof with the roof rake.  The driveway is totally clean.

Once again, I confess that I felt like a total man when operating a snowblower.  Totally got a hard dick.  (No, I didn't, but I felt masculine, totally masculine.)  And my reticence in a previous blog post about regretting living here in the winter was sucked up by an augur and flung off through a chute onto the front yard.

Now let's hope the snowblower doesn't follow a pattern like winters past where I tonight was the only time all winter it works.

Yeah, it's here.  And it ain't fuckin' around.  There was enough, probably an inch, that I went out and shoveled for about 45 minutes.  More will be coming, I'm sure.  But I did shovel away that inch, which makes it a little easier for me to get out of the driveway in order to get to work.  And I'm still holding out hope that we're not going to get 9-12".

I stopped shoveling once I saw some dude walking up the street.  Turns out he was muttering to himself.  If he's walking around in this weather by himself, he must be going to the apartments up the street (and away from the trailer park down on the other side).  Yes, I dashed into my home to avoid him, just in case.  I cannot lie.

No Movie -- Winter Has Come

This impending blizzard (they're saying 9-to-twelve inches -- the first Minnesota snowstorm should never be this heavy or bad) could not have come at a worse time of day/night, or day of the week.  (I probably say that about the first snowstorm every winter, but I feel it now.)  Never mind it coming just at the start of The Busiest Travel Day In America; at least I'm not driving or flying anywhere to see family, because it looks as though I wouldn't be able to make it there if I had to.

Moreover, even though it appears to be starting right now, the heaviest of this storm is going to fall overnight -- while I'm sleeping and just before I have to drive to work.  That means that not only will I have to wake up early and shovel my way out of my driveway (and try to avoid a heart attack while I'm at it), chances are I won't have the opportunity to make a dent into this storm by shoveling in the evening, before I go to bed, because there may not be any snow to shovel.  The worst of both worlds.

And the uncertainty over the beginning of this blizzard fucked me up, too.  I really, really wanted to see a movie before the advent of the storm hit.  But I didn't know when it was going to hit.  If it were later in the evening, I definitely would have seen a movie.  If it started in the afternoon, my commute would have been hell, but there would have been no doubt I needed to get home.  But the forecasts finally told me it was going to start late afternoon/early evening.  On top of that, I had two films from which to choose, both of which had logistical hangups.  I could go see Parasite, but that started 90 minutes after I got out of work and I didn't want to dink around town before seeing it, or The Irishman, which is supposed to be 3 1/2 fucking hours long, and while I love Scorsese, I don't know if I could sit through a movie that long.  And both films had the complication of being done after 7, which is the time most of the forecasts I saw predicted the storm would begin, and which would force me to miss The Conners, which is a TV show I am starting to watch religiously.

Finally, I decided to skip it.  I could just imagine myself not paying attention to whichever flick I decided because I was worried I would be driving home in the driving snow.  Instead I did the following:

• Ate Happy Hour Arby's;
• Moved up my Thanksgiving Eve tradition of being a turkey footlong at Subway; I'll be digging out my house instead of going out to eat tomorrow;
• Got the lottery tickets Father wants;
• Topped off the coolant tank in the old car;
• And made sure the garage door worked -- and it didn't, so I had to open it up manually, but then it wouldn't close and the remote wouldn't work, until it did, and that took a goddamn hour.

And as it so happens I looked out the window and saw a sprinkling of the white stuff on the deck.  I made the right decision.  Staying in Minnesota for the winter?  Right now I'm thinking I made the wrong fucking decision.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher football (Last Week: -6).  No letdown -- they handled Northwestern Saturday, 38-22.  That sets up a winner-take-all with Wisconsin at TCF Bank Saturday, both for the Big Ten West Division crown and Paul Bunyan's Axe.  But the real crowning achievement for the team (and the main reason these guys top the survey this week) came during the Arizona St.-Oregon game on Channel 5 (at least to me), when it was announced (at least I think) that ESPN's College GameDay will, for the first time ever, come to the campus of the University of Minnesota.  I have never watched an entire episode of that show, and honestly, I think I've seen a grand total of, like, 75 Minutes.  But over its lifetime (and I don't think it's been around that long) it has become an American sports TV institution, so much so that a part of me wants to be a part of it.  Unfortunately I work during the day, so I can't be a part of it.  Probably too crazy for me to be a part of the Dinkytown mob that'll be there Saturday morning, anyway.

#-2: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -7).  When it comes to non-BcS teams, these Golden Gophers apparently look good; routs at Williams over Central Michigan and North Dakota will do help you feel good, even if the NET won't budge one lick.  They finish out this six-Game homestand with a pair of toughies: A Black Friday afternoon contest against DePaul (which will happen around the same time as the Mild's Game versus Ottawa), then a late Monday showdown against Clemson, a Game I bought a ticket for at the State Fair.

#-3: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2).  Only one Game, an 11-Point victory over Montana St. at The Barn.  Four in a row, although three of them are against barely worthy clubs.  The next foe is similar -- tonight (Tuesday night) against Bryant, a tilt that marks the end of this basketball program's six-Game homestand.

#-4: Wild (Last Week: -5).  After blowing leads and losing in Overtime in their last two Games (in Boston and the Rangers), I was ready to stash the Mild down at the bottom of the survey.  But then I checked their website and remembered that they started off the screening week destroying the Sabers in Buffalo and then outlasting The Bastard Quebec Nordiques at home.  And then I checked the standings; Minnesota was the worst team in the NHL last week, but as of right now the Kings, the Red Wings and Devils have fewer Points.  So, such as it is, things are "improving."  But I will go out on a limb and state this: Of the two professional sports teams in the Twin Cities, the worm has turned and now it's the Timberwolves, and not the Wild, that have a window for success.  Well, beyond this week (see below).  But I mean that.

They stick around Metropolis for a road date in New Jersey tonight/Tuesday night.  They then come home for a Black Friday afternoon tilt vs. Ottawa and a Sunday afternoon date at The Team That Was Stolen From Us.

#-5: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -9).  College hockey Overtime periods, and the Points they get from them, are weird.  The U., at Mariucci, beat Wisconsin Friday but lost to the Badgers Saturday in a Shootout.  The NCAA mandates a 5-on-5 First Overtime if a Game is tied at the end of regulation.  After that, each conference is allowed to make its own rules.  The Big Ten has teams play a 3-on-3 Second OT, and after that a Shootout, in order to award a second Point after a first Point given to both teams after, I believe, this NCAA-mandated First OT.  I prefer ties.

Anyway, this means that the Gophers picked up four out of a possible six Points.  In years past I would consider this series just a win and a loss.  And maybe I should go back to that.

I don't know if I have any more to add to this.

Hmmm ... I just saw that the men's hockey program will finish up its own six-Game homestand this weekend, just like the men's basketball and women's basketball squads.  For the male icers, it's a non-conference throwback showdown two-Game set against North Dakota, at the special days of Thanksgiving and Black Friday nights.

#-6: Gopher women's hockey (Re-Entry!).  College hockey Overtime periods, and the Points they get from them, are weird.  They outlasted Minnesota-Duluth Saturday, 4-3.  But on Friday they lost to the Bulldogs on the, I think, 3-on-3 Second Overtime.  Therefore, the female icers also pick up 4/6 Points, even though they really lost for the second time all year.  I think?

They're in Nashville this weekend.  The city of Nashville has, to their credit, really taken up the sport of hockey.  Obviously this city does not have a snowy winter, and they surely don't have an intrinsic foundation of hockey.  And even though they were rewarded an NHL team, there was a time not too long ago the Predators had to hit attendance figures or else they would trigger plans that could have had them leaving the city.  But then the front office got their shit together, the Preds finally won a playoff series, they actually reached the Stanley Cup Finals a few years ago and boom, they're acting like they're an actual hockey town.  Well, they're not, but they are demonstrating more love for hockey than some cities that are taking the sport for granted because the pro team sucks.

So, yeah.  Anyway, the Golden Gophers are participating in this "Country Classic," which is the first I've heard of it and therefore should not be called a "classic."  Wisconsin is also a part of this showcase, but the U. plays Boston College Black Friday afternoon (just before the start of the Mild's Game vs. the Senators) and Harvard Saturday afternoon.

#-7: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -4).  Swept Iowa Saturday at Maturi, but at home on Friday (in a Game that tipped off at 8) they came back from two Sets down to Nebraska, only two run out of steam and lose the Fifth at, ugh, 3.  Sort of weird since the Goofers won the Fourth at 11.  John Cook knows when he's beat; he rallied his Cornhuskers to concentrate on the Fifth Set, and that's what they did.

One bracketologist I see (albeit on a chat board) sees Minnesota as the overall #8 Seed and travelling to, of all places, Waco, Tex., to face overall #1 Baylor.  A non-traditional Queens Of The Mountain?  That's ripe for an upset, in my mind, but I have no faith that this program can do it.  Besides, they finish up the regular season on the road -- first to Rutgers on Friday (no problem), but then against Penn St. Saturday.  Maybe it doesn't really matter if the U. is 8 or 9, but ... ah, fuck it, what really matters if these young women can actually fucking win a championship.

#-8: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3).  This week perfectly encapsulates the weird dichotomy the Woofie Dogs find themselves in at the beginning of the season.  They dropped home games versus Utah and Phoenix (the latter only by two), but then go out to Atlanta and coast past the Hawks last/Monday night.  So as of press time, this squad is 3-6 at home, but 6-2 on the road.  The fuck?!

A light schedule this screening week.  At San Antonio Wednesday, home to The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies Sunday afternoon, right around the time the Mild host The Bastard North Stars.  So expect a win and a loss.

#-9: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -8).  Huh, the Gophers lost at Oklahoma St., like I thought.  But I thought they were going to get blown out, much worse than the 21-12 actual score.  And then I see that the Cowboys are ranked 11th while the U. 12th.  So ... this should have been a more competitive Dual, right?  That it was not falls on Eggum & Co.

They're at the Cliff Keen Invitational in Vegas in two weeks.  They don't have an actual Dual till the 20th, so unless something good actually comes from the Invitational, don't see them for a month.  Probably for the best.

This Is It (Plus An Aside)

Kind of got stood up at ****e's place this morning.  Opened up the door and let myself in.  The dogs were barking; the last couple time she ushered them downstairs to the roommate below, so that was the first sign something was afoot.  The second sign was her not showing up for the half-hour-plus I was there.  I want to blog about this in the future, but not right now.  I will say that I left a note, then left.  She called me while I was at the Megamall saying that she overslept.  I told her I was on my way home (kind of a lie), and I'll catch her the next time ... which won't be before winter finally comes in with the advent of the first snowstorm that is coming tomorrow night.

I have been feeling a low, subterranean level of anxiety over this blizzard -- and it sounds like it will be bad.  Forecasting when it comes to snow has been really good in recent years, and last/Sunday night the Weather Service put up a Winter Weather Watch for a wide swath of the area, with the Twin Cities right in the heart of it.  Initial snow totals for these parts, according to the tweet I saw: Half a foot.  And forecasts since then have only raised the total, to nine inches.

I was driving out of the Megamall after using a coupon at Hooters when I noticed something.  It was the perfect weather day for me -- overcast to being at the point of dreadfully dark without it being actual night, and temperatures in the lower forties.  When I got home I took a picture of my street, looking down both ends, and I thought to myself, "Golly, this is the perfect weather day."  But anyway, back to the Megamall.  I felt so grateful that, if I couldn't fuck ****e and stay in her bed all day, at least I was able to appreciate this weather.

And then it hit me: Assuming this snowstorm doesn't miraculously miss us, we're getting a ton of this crap.  And unless there's a different miracle whereby the temperatures get so above freezing it melts all the snow, snow will stick around starting from tomorrow until the spring.  And so what I saw in front of me as I was driving out of MOA -- the cloudy skies, the breathable air and, most importantly, the sidewalks free of snow and ice that'll cause you to slip and fall -- became ephemeral, fragile, something that will fade into the recesses of my memory.  There will be days this winter where the skies will be this overcast, and even some days that get above 40.  But the snow and ice will be there.  And that ruins everything.  So what I saw this afternoon will be the last time I see that, exactly that, exactly that perfect, until next late fall.  And now I'm sad.

---

Since I couldn't fuck ****e, I kind of did the desperate thing and invited ****y over to the house so I could fuck her instead.  A man has needs.  I was intending on sinking my cock into somebody, and now it'll be someone different.  Hope ****y doesn't bring her family to rob me.