That's getting to be the case with my friend. We get along swimmingly -- well, truth be told, we don't talk much because he lives out in L.A. -- but not when it comes to fantasy sports, particularly my role in running our fantasy sports leagues. For the past several years we have lost people, friends back from our college days, and there haven't been replacements, so our league has dropped in numbers. In fact, a couple years ago we lost so many on our baseball league we went defunct. And in our football league we are only down to four people.
My friend doesn't like that. The first time he saw that we were losing members he implored me to find my friends and e-mail his friends in the hopes of finding other people. That had worked the past couple years, but now we're back down to four. He told me earlier this summer (don't remember when) to talk to these guys, and I did, but they didn't accept, so we did our draft Thursday with four people.
As before, he's been kind of bitchy with the fact that we have so few teams in our league. That has never really bothered me. For one thing, I understand if people get busy with their lives. For another, the rest of us have got really loaded teams. For example, I have Russell Wilson, Ben Roethlisberger and Tom Brady as my Quarterbacks. And finally, hey, there are very low stakes involved with this league. Unlike my other leagues, this is free and there is no money given to the winner. When I started this league (or I may have assumed commissioner duties with the league after the old commish -- who just happens to be this friend in question -- got too busy running it) all I wanted was an avenue to keep in touch with people from college. It used to be very important to me until I, like the people who dropped out, got busy with Life. So now I do what I can, but if I forget to invite strangers I don't know because I, say, have to work or help out my parents or even take a vacation, well, shit, you know?
My friend doesn't see it that way. I know that. But in the latest e-mail as part of our back-and-forth regarded the latest defections and attrition that has kept our league this shrunken, he has ... um, used arguments that, if I were the man I was 20 years ago, would have really pissed me off. He said I have a responsibility as Commissioner to find people. Also, he said that if these friends of his did not accept my invitation, I should have dropped everything and told him so he could tell them to accept it. Finally, I believe he is criticizing how I run or don't run this league of which he is a mere member.
All of this we have argued over before. But the tone he has taken with this latest missive (although, to admit, we are still saying that our friendship won't be ruined over this or, as he has said the past several years, if he decides to leave because our league is so small) has given me pause. I feel attacked, and I don't think I should be. Not only because he continues to beat dead horses, but he feels more attached to something that I clearly do not have as much passion about. I mean, I love fantasy sports, but I have other priorities in my life, and after that, I have other league (mainly paid leagues) that have priority over this. I didn't think that would be the case, but life has a way of changing your perspective. In this case, despite me regularly saying that I am a stubborn SOB, I have changed. I am kind of jealous that, in that sense, my friend has not changed; his life still revolves around fantasy sports. But he has to be reminded that I am the commish and he can go pound sand if he doesn't like the way I run things.
So I am not sure how to react. I think both of us are trying to be grown-ups, but his rhetoric is starting to sound childish. So should I not say anything? Should I start accusing him of crap? I'm thinking how best to reply to his e-mail that calls him out for rehashing old BS and for thinking he is the boss of me while not sounding like a bitch or ruining our friendship. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I want him to know how I feel, too. Hmmm.
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