Thursday, September 3, 2015

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Twins (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  The main goal was to avoid 90 losses this year.  Barring an historic collapse, they are going to do that.  The next step in the revival of this once-moribund franchise is playing meaningful games in September, and a 4-2 week, which keeps them a full game behind the Texas Rangers for American League Wild Card 2 (where they seem to have been for a while now), ensures that.  On the strength of a revived starting rotation and, maybe more important, the self-announcement of the hitting prowess of Miguel Sano (who was named AL Rookie Of The Month for August and hit his 15th Home Run in the bigs in last [Wednesday] night's 3-0 win over the Chicago White Sox), they are playing very good baseball right now.  Regardless of what happens the rest of the month (or season), the expectation here is for even better baseball in the future, and the days of 90+-loss years will be in the past.

The club is going to put some hair on its dicks this week.  After going for the sweep at Target Field against The Pale Hose this (Thursday) afternoon, they go on the road for three-game series against two division leaders this week, Houston and Kansas City.  If they can manage to not get completely embarrassed after this six games (and I'll take 2-4, really), they're still going to be in this.

#-2: Gopher soccer (Last Week: 0).  Just to let you know, the other teams in the survey fall down a well after the Twins.  They were so bad this week that they dragged the Twins down to a -1.

According to a tweet from College Sports 360, their loss to LSU Sunday afternoon may prove to be a fatal one for their faint NCAA Tournament hopes.  The Tigers are not seen to be a better team than the Gophers -- well, at least they weren't at that time.  But Minnesota was unable to overcome LSU's home-pitch advantage, and Jorian Baucom's header from a cross in the 70th minute was the only tally in that match.  Sure, they defeated Stephen F. Austin in the same Battle On The Bayou tourney Friday, 1-0, but hey, that's Stephen F. Austin.  They needed what essentially was a road victory, and they didn't get it.

On the bright side, this weekend provides a couple of shots to register marquee wins.  Of course, they both come on the road.  And in a twist, they are not tournament games but in fact pure road games where they'll actually have to travel to different cities.  And they're not close to each other: Friday night the side is at Marquette in Milwaukee, and then they have to fly all the way to Lubbock, Tex. to play a very good Texas Tech team on Labor Night's Eve.

#-3: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  OK, now I'm really scared for this club.  Not that they'll lose the Western Conference.  I'm not afraid of that anymore, seeing that they outlasted Phoenix at Target Center by 10 on Sunday.  No, now the real threat is coming from the Eastern Conference, where out of nowhere, the New York Liberty hold a 1 1/2-game lead on the Jynx for the best record in the Women's National Basketball Association, a lead they padded when they routed Minnesota by 13 at Madison Square Garden on Friday.  I don't know where the hell this chemistry came together, but you need to know that Bill Laimbeer is coaching the Libs.  You may know him as one of the Detroit Pistons in their "Bad Boys" championship days, but it's more relevant to note that he is a three-time WNBA champion with the Detroit (now Tulsa and soon to be Dallas) Shock.  If there is going to be a WNBA Hall Of Fame, he's going to be in it.  So he knows how to mold a winner.  And that should scare the living shit out of a Jynx team that still is unable to fire from all cylinders.

Minnesota has to hope New York City stumbles.  Meanwhile, they have to take care of their own this week.  Luckily they are in the middle of the final four home games of the regular season.  On Friday they host Indiana.  On Sunday, the Liberty come to town in a very, very important game.

#-4: Gopher volleyball (Re-Entry!).  Shit.  First weekend into the season and I know this program is going into the toilet.  In past years -- under the Dr. Mike Hebert years -- they would go to a prestigious tournament, like last weekend's Stanford Invite in Palo Alto, Calif., and there's an almost 100% chance they would split and a good chance that they could win both games.  But now?  Fuck.  On Saturday the Goofers lose a five-set match to Texas A&M -- a program, like Minnesota, in the Also Receiving Votes category, but unlike Minnesota, the Aggies have no contender pedigree.  Since they lost in five to a merely good squad like Texas A&M, of course they would get swept by host and nationally second-ranked Stanford.  And it was one of those matches where they got their pants blown off in the first set (25-15), they mustered up all their will and tried to win the second set only to falter (25-23), then had nothing left as they whimpered back into the locker room (25-18).  So they begin their 2015 campaign 0-2.  And they are no receiving absolutely no votes.

It is now time to question Hugh McCutcheon as Head Coach.  He has repaved recruiting trails nationally, but decisively away from Minnesota, which was a bedrock of contending teams in the Hebert Era.  Many players have transferred.  Many more have been injured.  And now, with a revamped and decidedly non-Minnesota team, they failed to reach the NCAA Tournament last year for the first time in almost two decades, and now it clearly looks like they won't make it again this year.  What the fuck is wrong with this team?

It's not going to get better with the ACC/Big Ten Challenge this weekend in Louisville, Ky.  In years past, although this is a pretty good tournament, Minnesota would kill these teams.  But this year, their opponents, host Louisville and 18th-ranked North Carolina, seem to have big advantages.  Could these Golden Gophs start ... egads ... 0-4???

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