This is the third straight morning my folks (well, it's My Fucking Father's idea, so it's really him) ordered me to get out of bed to work the yards.  Only this time I was kind of prepared for it because yesterday, after helping him with the yards, I was so tired that I fell asleep at 9 at night and woke up around 9 this morning (after waking up twice quickly, once to turn off the radio after LeBron clowned the Pacers and another to check that it was only 6 in the morning).  I was awake, and actually getting up, when My Fucking Father hollered out to Mother to wake me up.  I went outside so she wouldn't have to come to my door.

Things went well after that.  This time all three of us were leveling the piles of dirt that we shoveled onto the wheelbarrows all over the backyard because My Father wants to reseed them.  The whole backyard, even the parts where grass is growing just fine.  Parts of the backyard are as fallow as the frontyard, but it is relatively good there while the frontyard is a goddamn moonscape.  No arguing from them or me.  And I've learned to quickly toss aside my bitterness because, even though I disagree with the use of this task nor the approach he's taking, there is work to be done.

But I flash back to my initial reaction to hearing My Fucking Father call out to Mother to wake me up: Anger, pissed-off-ness.  Why?  This has happened for three consecutive mornings, and this time I'm not being roused out of my sleep.  In fact, I don't remember being this angry yesterday or Wednesday morning even though I My Fucking Father's order came completely out of the blue.  I was just ... dazed and confused.  I certainly didn't like it, but I don't remember feeling this well of fury spewing out of me like I did this morning after I heard him.  Shouldn't I have been angrier yesterday or Wednesday morning than today?

I may have stumbled into an epiphany.  Maybe I should recognize the bottom line: I do not like doing things, yardwork or anything else.  And I don't like being told to do something, yardwork or anything else.  Not being cognizant of that doesn't necessarily mean I like it.  I just can't be angry whenever I'm not awake.  So being alert is part of why I get upset.  So, awake = pissed off.

Now, what does this mean if there's fucking yardwork to do tomorrow?