I could have handled it better, but I didn't. My parents left for their vacation yesterday, and Mother wanted me to go through all the bills I need to pay for them while they're gone one more time. I think I sighed audibly in frustration, and that's where the miscommunication began. I did that because she once again made me face up to responsibilities I can't fathom without me seeing it (namely when the bill actually comes). She probably took it as me being frustrated over nothing yet again.
Since we're coming down to the brass tacks here, I did think it was important to write down anything that I didn't have a handle on. I guess that meant to her I didn't remember all the things she said about the bills in the days and weeks leading up to today. That's true, but I don't think I wanted to convey that I wasn't listening then -- or that I wasn't trying to listen.
The worst came when she wanted to review with me the bills about the Vegas properties. Some of them have to be paid online, some through the mail, and she has different rules about how long I needed to pay. She said she didn't know because she was told online payment may become an option. Or something. Let's just say that complicates things, and I won't be able to know what to do until, at the very least, I get the bill. By the way, I ask her how many bills will I need to expect from Las Vegas? And then she tells me that's not important, and I tell her I need to know what to expect ... basically I think she misunderstood my question and I just got even more petulant, and she got angrier for the same reason. Suffice it to say, once I got the answer I wanted to my satisfaction, I started writing things down and basically shutting her and her comments down, to which she replied under her breath the Chinese equivalent of, I think, "Asshole." That bitch has said that all her life.
But I have to take a step back and admit my fault in this. From my perspective, Mother was only nagging once again about shit that's so overwhelming and nebulous that I really won't know how to deal with it until I have to deal with it. However, from her perspective, she's concerned about bills that she won't be able to pay, and her son wasn't giving her confidence that he'll be able to take care of it despite the fact that she went through it with him a few times leading up to the trip.
At any rate, once I got through it all (there was one question about a particular bill that I really needed answering, and she whined, "I already you told you" -- rightly so, because she did), we were all hunky-dory. I hope she was in a good, or at least anticipatory, mood when I dropped my parents off at the airport. I feel bad, however, that my behavior dampened what should have been a happy day ... and I'm scared that last impression is going to reappear in Mother's mind when they come back.
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