I can't believe that I had saved a draft of a blog I was going to do either tonight or the next few days about how much I love the temp job I have. And I still do, I really do. But I thought about blogging about it last night, then thought better of it, because there could have been something that happened at work today that would make me kind of regret saying those words
Yep, snapping at a co-worker would do that.
First of all, I'm pretty sure I would find her to be a sweet girl in a venue other than work. Probably a little psychotic, but hey, who isn't? My problems with her are both performance-related and personality-based. She has cut down on the number of questions she asks in the past couple days, which is great. However, I have grown tired of her voice -- high and kind of whiny. And she still blurts out those questions from her desk assuming that someone will drop everything he or she is doing, turn around and answer her. Oh, and the questions she still asks still involve things about the work that she damn well should know by now.
I will also admit that I am forming an even more negative image of her because I have to review her work. I have to review everyone's work; it's part of my added duties now that we're this far into the project. But not only has she repeated mistakes as I keep looking through her work, many of those mistakes are easy, stuff that she should have figured out by now. That she doesn't continues to astonish me. Add to that her incessant questioning, and I have to wonder, with all the asking she's been doing, why in the hell hasn't she figured it out by now?
She may be too incompetent to do this project. That's not inconceivable; stepping back, we're tapping a code of letters and numbers so this company can get paid, so the machinations (thought not the goal) is bullshit. But if you're around her, you also get this strange vibe from her. I felt it from Day One: The open, glassy eyes, which she bats as if she's in antebellum Mississippi, the constant interrupting, the sighs that signal that yet another claim has defeated her meager faculties. And, oh fuck yes, that high, whiny tone in her voice. All of that body language makes her appear helpless, and she knows it. She is quick to throw her hands up and ask for direction for the simplest tasks and most fundamental steps. And so we need to tell her, once again, how to do something, otherwise we'll just be doing it for her later in the process. And then that doesn't work because she somehow fucked it up again. I did this last year and I don't believe anybody then fucked up as much as she has.
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This afternoon I felt she crossed the line with one move. I saw her get up and ask one of the veteran billers, a guy who came in the same day as I, a question. He had his headphones plugged into his earholes and he was concentrating on his work. So, to get his attention, she walked up and quickly waved his hand in his peripheral vision, like she just rinsed his hands and realized there are no towels in the bathroom so she just shook off the excess water. How rude of her!!
Now, normal, more civilized people would get a little closer to him and wait patiently until he notices someone standing. That is what the grown-ups that work in this company, such as my boss, do. I appreciate that, and I think they don't mind that. Seeing that pissed me off. I wasn't involved, but to me, it looked like another case of this little girl acting like a stuck-up juvenile. We have given her too much patience in asking her stupid questions. I think we're entitled to a little more professional behavior than being given a wave as if we're in a trance. Unlike her, we're working -- and getting shit done. And I had a fleeting thought: Do not treat me that way, or I'll get mad.
But she did. I was working when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw this short, runty stump wave something at me. And I don't know for certain, but she may have snapped her fingers at me. Acting like a child just to get my attention is bad enough, but snapping? Well ... I let her have it. "Don't snap at me."
"I didn't, I ..."
"Yes, you did, please don't do that again."
And like a little bitch she stomped back to her desk. Yeah, finally I was able to communicate my frustration towards her, all the questions, all the mistakes I've had to clean up for her, all the pissy attitude she gets to cop at work every single fucking day. If you can't do your goddamn job right, then just leave me alone.
But ... I started to panic when I, yep, turned back towards her to see if she still cooled down and wanted to ask her question like a real woman. She didn't; instead she went over to my boss's desk and eventually got my fellow co-worker to answer her question. She's going to be going to her permanently from now on, I gather. And then, the questions I'm asking myself: Is she going to retaliate? She went over to my boss; did she say something to him? Will he? And how will this affect my work environment?
I am really afraid that this bitch'll rat on me, so after about ten minutes I sucked it up, bit the bullet, rolled myself in my chair over to her and apologized. I made some shit up: I wasn't mad at her, I was thinking about my other job and how stressed I was over the work and people over there, and I snapped. To be perfectly clear, that was a lie, it is all bullshit. Now, I may have been wrong in thinking that she snapped her fingers at me. But she is a needy, hopeless loser, and someone needed to go off on her childish, needy ass. But I put on this shit-eating grin and said, "Sorry!" and recommended that she continue to get her questions asked by my co-worker, and she at least said she accepted my apology.
I think she's cunning enough to not only not be genuine with accepting my (albeit bullshit) apology, there's still a chance she'll rat me out to my boss. If so, then my only defense is the body of my work vs. the body of her work. Hey, I hope it doesn't come to this point. But goddamn, her behavior belongs in kindergarten, not in a workplace, and if I wasn't going to snap at her, someone was. She's absolutely goddamn obnoxious, and she should not be working here, at all. However, it looks like she's done enough to stay. Whatever "enough" constitutes is way beyond. I still can't believe I apologized to her; it should be the other way around. But I did it just so we can keep the peace, and even then that no longer might be enough.
We'll see tomorrow. Hope I don't lose my temper. And I hope that idiot finally shuts up and doesn't fuck up. Yeah, fat chance of that. ...
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