Am I Supposed To?

So it's Mother's Day.  I have texted my sister-in-law and my female friend Happy Mothers' Day.  I have also texted all the stripper MILFs the same, and in my perverted mind as it is right now, they're more important.  In fact, texting all of them means more to me right now than wishing Happy Mother's Day to My Mother.  I haven't wished that to her yet.  I haven't even seen her yet today.




We're not on good terms right now, and it's her fault.  My Fucking Mother and My Fucking Father went in on me for dinner last night.  They were picking a fight.  Earlier in the week My Fucking Father said that they weren't going to do anything special for Mother's Day, but then last night they needed to know when I was coming home.  And so My Fucking Father took my answer to ask if the reason I would be out today was because I was working.  And when I said no, he took that answer to start interrogating me on how much money I was making now.  Fuck off, Father.




But I am talking about My Fucking Father, and this is Mother's Day.  Yeah, I am still mad at My Fucking Mother.  Why?  Because she just stood back and let him tee off on me.  She does that a lot lately; in fact, she's done that for most of my adulthood now.




I still find that strange.  When I was growing up I just about idolized My Fucking Father and was in mortal fear of My Fucking Mother.  It was she who yelled at us, yelled bad things about us while my brother and (later) my sister and I were in the same room as her, and beat us when she wanted to.




That changed to where she was the more laid-back one and he turned into this nasty fucking monster, and when it happened was so subtle I don't know when it happened.  I had a college friend who lived in the dorm with me talk about the same thing, and he said there was such a thing called the "Asian crossover," where at one point in your life your mother and father trade good-cop/bad-cop roles because ... ah, just to amuse themselves, I guess.  Don't know if it's a thing; just tried looking it up online and I didn't see anything.


So that's where I'm at now.  My Fucking Mother went from violent mommy to neglectful one enabling a violent daddy.  Except that when she gets mad, boy, she gets mad, and it absolutely explodes like a volcano, where she just screams at fucking everybody.  Oh, and she has this thing when she argues where I say something to her that she doesn't understand, and she comes back with, "We're not talking about ..." and then she adds in a couple words of the last sentence I say, and then she continues on with her argument.  My Fucking Mother thinks she's making sense, but she doesn't (never has), and she's done this for so long it got tired when I was in high school.  So stupid.


Wow, I so don't give a shit about Mother's Day right now.  I haven't done anything special for My Fucking Mother on this day, ever.  We didn't celebrate it growing up.  And I know that if any one of us tried, she would say something to the effect of, "Why don't you save your money and go back to school?"  She has never been grateful for anything we have done.  She -- both of my parents -- have never taught us gratitude because they aren't grateful for anything.


So am I supposed to feel guilty spending the afternoon doing my daily blog post at the library when most "normal" families are spending the day with her?  Well, I don't feel guilty.  And I'll take that attitude home with me when we have dinner with my brother and sister-in-law, which is news my sister-in-law texted me just a couple hours ago.  Thanks for letting me know, mommy.