I knew the end of the night project was going to come soon. I initially thought it would be the end of this week, just before Memorial Weekend. But as usual when it comes to math projects, they got done way sooner than the projected end date.
And last (Monday) night the bottom fell out: We have been working so fast and so well that we have run ourselves out of work. We are done tonight, Tuesday night, and at the rate we've been going that will be a very short night. Hell, I'll probably have time to catch the NBA lottery and see if the Timberwolves get fucked over their spot with the best chance of getting the #1 pick.
It's extra work, and the long hours have gotten in the way of many things (including blogging at a decent hour). But I enjoyed it, and even though it lasted only two weeks, I'm going to miss the project, and the good, funny people I sat with.
Now I have the day job and its itinerant residue of hostility from many people involved. It wasn't like this in the previous room, all ... huffy and aloof. I just get bad vibes from this job. And this is the one I have to rely on for income for now.
But even that is going to end sooner than I thought. I was told it was going to end the end of June. But lo and behold, I went past a sheet that they put up and the new end date is two weeks earlier. That's fucking news to me!
So the end is a lot nearer than I hoped it would be, and I am in full-blown panic. I have to worry about finding work again, or avoiding my parents knowing I'm back on the dole. This also hastens me probably going back to school, if only for a class. But it's all so overwhelming right now. I don't have a job lined up, and none of the classes look appetizing. But I have to make a decision, because time is running out for me.
It's just ... all too much. Why can't I just lie in bed all day and not worry about making money? Why can't I ... just be, man?
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