Expenses Without Receipts

OK.  From Monday, May 11:

• I went to Caribou in the afternoon because I needed to put in my blog post for the day and I wanted a place where I could work and have something to consume, which was a smoothie.  Still feels strange to go to a coffeeshop and not get coffee.  With tip: 4.99.
• (ETA on 2:20 p.m. on Memorial Day that the next three Expenses Without Receipts were all made on Saturday, May 9.)  Minnesota United game.  First win of the year, 1-0 over the Atlanta Silverbacks.  Went to Living Social to pay for an "experience" for the game, where I not only got a ticket, but also a t-shirt and a chance to watch practice just before the match from the opposing sideline.  Wished I had a seat to sit on.  Also wished my allergies didn't overwhelm me.  It was the first time all season that I was scratching my eyes and blowing my nose like I was gushing snot.  Very frustrating.  Charged a food truck chicken quesadilla.  But the tip was money.  That, along with a can of Strongbow with a tip for that came out to: $8.
• Went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division).  I initially saw only three girls, and with two of them being five-dollar bitches, and the third getting on the stage shortly after I came in, I thought that it was going to be an extremely quick night: Just tip the girl that I can afford to tip, then leave.  But this girl up on stage was someone I hadn't seen in a while, and she's hot, and I haven't gotten a lap dance in a while there, and I need to let them know I wasn't just some pervert.  So I got a dance from Tori, and thus a short and cheap stay turned into a slightly longer and much more expensive one.  Oh, and there were three girls there, but they brought back in a fourth that had worked earlier in the evening.  I paid her two bucks because she is not a five-dollar bitch.  That all comes out to: $24.
• Then I finished my evening at My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place for a dinner-sized salad and soup.  With tip it equals: $9.50.
• On Friday the 8th I got cut from work a half-hour early, which meant I was able to go to a Caribou and surf online real quick.  Mind was going crazy because I hadn't eaten food, so I ate an expensive croissant to go with my mocha.  With tip: $5.75.
• After work I wanted to go to Caffetto, but the coffeeshop was all full, so I moved up my planned journey to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place.  Had enough of a hunger to eat a chicken alfredo pizza.  With tip: $16.75.
• Go back to Tuesday the 5th ... Got cut out of work early, so I drove my new car to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) to hang out and see some boobies.  Was the first time in about two weeks I've been there.  Tips and coffee equal: $11.
• Then went to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place (two times this week after ... a long time not eating there).  Just wanted a California burger with fries.  With Coke and tip: $6.50.
• Friday/May Day was that hellish day where my old car acted up, probably for the last time on my watch.  I had time to burn in the afternoon after bringing the car in, so I took the bus to the nearest library.  It straddled rush hour, so even though I came back within the 2 1/2 hours my initial bus transfer gave me, I had to pay the difference once I stepped back into the bus for the return trip: $2.25.
• But it was on that return trip where I fell asleep.  When I woke up I soon realized that I had missed my stop.  I had to ride all the way to the end and wait a half-hour before the bus started its trip back east and toward the stop I was supposed to get off at.  At least the weather was good and sunny for those 30 minutes.  And the Park and Ride I was at had some development.  There's a bike trail just a few yards away, and a main street close to that.  There, there was an ice cream shop called Lost Lake Creamery.  Hell, I'll treat myself to a cup of vanilla ice cream.  That's always good, especially to bide time.  With tip: $3.75.
• When I got back to the shop, they said they couldn't find anything.  The only thing they did was replace the radiator cap, which cost me: $10.
• Take it back to Sunday, April 26.  Had to go to the library before meeting up with the host of our alumni event.  Wanted to print out a list of days that I could show her were available to host.  That set me back: 20 cents.
• Then afterwards I had to go back to the library to print out a letter.  It was a page, but at this particular county that meant 20 cents, not ten like in the next county over.  But I didn't have any coins more than a dime.  I got lucky that there is only a pay box; you are on the honor system with this county.  And I honored myself to shorting them a dime.  Hey, I'll pay them back some other time: 10 cents.
• On Saturday the 25th I went to the Minnesota Roller Girls bout.  Didn't get lucky with a guy who just happened to walk by with extra tickets, so I had to pay for one.  With beer and tip: $21.
• Afterwards I went to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place to celebrate the MNRG kicking Chicago's ass (at least Minnesota can beat Chicago in something!).  I think I had spaghetti.  With tip it came out to: $12.50.
• Friday, April 24 ... that was the day I got the extensions for my new insoles.  The orthopedist (?) waited to put these in because he thought I needed to get used to walking around the rest of the new insoles first.  These extensions were put on top of the insoles and both give my feet arch support while walking and provide extra comfort just behind the balls of both of my feet.  And I can tell you that my feet feel so much better now.  Anyway, I was looking for a place to work on my computer before heading in, but there was no coffee place nearby this orthopedist (?).  But as I was doubling back I saw this place called Hans' Bakery.  You mean the one just like the one close to the mechanic that's close to ****e*?  Yes, it's the same one.  But now I think I know the whole story.  This Hans' Bakery was around for a long time until it closed.  Several years ago a couple that lived in the area bought the place, bought brand-new equipment, took the recipes from Hans, and re-opened the place.  I don't know this for sure, but I believe they then opened up another Hans' Bakery over by the mechanic and ****e*.  Funny how I just happened to stumble across both branches of Hans' Bakery in the course of a month, neither of which I probably would have seen, let alone eaten, if not for fortuitous circumstances.  Unfortunately their Internet didn't work, so I couldn't go on the computer.  Had a donut, a bismarck and apple juice.  With tip it came out to just: $5.
• Caribou that day, for a medium mocha.  Have the receipt for it, but I'll through (ETA at 12: 37 a.m. on May 18 that I totally meant to say "throw") it in here as an EWR just to be safe.  With tip: $5.
• On Thursday the 23rd I was sneaking in a visit to my shrink.  Had coffee at the Starbucks nearby first.  Grande mocha with tip: $4.95.
• I then apparently went to Caribou this day as well, also for another medium mocha.  This might be a repeat, but I'll put it in here just in case.  With tip: $4.75.
• Wednesday, April 22 -- had to go to the library because I needed to print out a receipt that Dell sent my parents for a huge TV they got for their condo in Las Vegas.  Tax purposes, I guess.  Surprised that companies do that.  Should I be surprised?  Total for the printout: 20 cents.
• I started Tuesday the 21st (and this is the inbetween period where I had no work) going to Caribou.  Finally saw the regular barista I have known for years.  Dropped in a couple times I didn't see her.  Scared that she moved on.  I charged the usual cookie and mocha, but I had enough change to tip: 50 cents.
• I had an afternoon to kill, and after a lot of waffling I decided to eschew working out and instead try and see some Champions League soccer.  The Nomad World Pub may be the most die-hard soccer pub in the Twin Cities, so I sought it out.  The only problem was finding free parking.  If I couldn't find that, I would go to the gym.  But I did, and so I was able to go to the Nomad, where it was mostly empty but the TVs were showing both CL games going on.  Beer plus tip: $7.
• And just because I was there on a weekday afternoon, I let out my pants and walked over to the Wienery for a hot dog and fries.  Wasn't hungry; I was going to eat just two hours later.  But as long as I was here, and as long as I was going to eat at a time when it wasn't going to be busy, why not?  Eating at this time of day, in an afternoon where I was lucky enough to find parking, is an opportunity I couldn't pass up.  Love all the toppings the Wienery put on it, but I'm not a fan of it continuously falling off of it.  Mental note: They do take credit cards now; they just take care of the tax if you pay with cash, or at least that's what they say.  With tip: $8.25.
• Sunday the 19th was the first time I finally went through with something I wanted to do: Catch a soccer game in one of the pubs downtown, in this case Brit's.  I've seen soccer games here before, but ever since NBC Sports ramped up coverage of the English Premier League, I've really started to get into it, and places like Brit's Pub has always been one of the best (if not only) places to watch with real EPL fans.  Had their breakfast menu and I immediately, for some reason, went to their Bloody Mary.  And my God, I have started to get really obsessed with Bloody Marys.  And I can't even say that the one Brit's Pub makes is all that good, although I appreciate the Bud Light chaser.  With a sarnie (a breakfast sandwich I had with ... banger, is that what it's called?) and tip: $12.
• Saturday, April 18: Finally went to Klein Bank.  Mother asked me to open up a savings account with them for business related to The Store.  But since The Store closed we haven't had a need for it.  Nevertheless we have money there, but sometimes with inactivity Klein deactivates the account and calls me to say that something has to be done (either put money in or take money out) or else they'll, like, take the money or something.  They called me on such a call about a month before, and I had recently remembered, but it was only then I was able to drive up to the nearest branch and reactivate the savings account.  And I did that by depositing: $1.
• Then went to the Nomad to take in some EPL action.  Had a Lagunitas Underground, which was good.  With tip: $7.
• Then went to Digby's at Rosedale to take in part of the Wild game.  This was Game 2, I think, where they got blown out by St. Louis.  I'm not sure of the amount, but with tip I hazard the guess that it cost: $10.
• That evening I went to St. Paul to catch the Swarm game.  God, that team sucks.  Got a scalped ticket at discount.  With Coke it totals: $16.
• After the game I thought it was time to do my annual dinner at Mickey's Diner.  Love this place, and I wished I was hungry enough to eat more than the stew I ordered.  No Coke, just water.  With tip it came out to: $5.25.
• After that I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition).  Finally got a dance ***e*'s wild friend whom I wouldn't mind showing it to.  She said she looks forward to seeing it at some point.  Duly noted!  I find that matter-of-fact perviness so sexy!  With tips and, because I drink so much coffee during the workweek, a Sprite: $31.
• Thursday, April 16 ... my parents were going down to Rochester, so I thought to do some things in the evening, even though they got back around 6 or 7.  I said goodbye to them so I could go to a Planet Fitness and use their coupon for a free hydro massage they gave away for Tax Day.  I've been intrigued by Planet Fitness because it's a gym that doesn't cater to those aggro CrossFit douchebags.  But the customer service I got went into the toilet as soon as I showed the girl my freebie.  And I was kind of bummed this hydro massage wasn't more of a big deal.  The bed was off to the side, and before I could figure out how to do it, the girl turned it on, thus beginning what I think was a 15-minute session.  Got kind of gypped; give me some time prepare, wouiya?  Anyway, I had to go to the library to print out the coupon, so: 10 cents.
• I then went to Caffetto for a mocha.  With tip: $3.50.
• On Tuesday the 14th I found a penny.  Where, I don't remember.  An Infusion of: 1 cent.
• I also found a couple dimes on the ground somewhere.  An Infusion of: 20 cents.
• And that morning I went to Caribou.  Mocha, cookie and tip: $5.75.
• Monday, April 13 -- since I was starting a job on Tax Day I couldn't do what customarily did in years past and did all my taxes at the last minute.  (I think I promised myself never to do that again.  One year, once I finished doing them on April 15, I went to the downtown Minneapolis post office to mail it, and of course everybody was there, so I waited in line for over an hour to file them.  Missed dinner because of it.)  As is my custom (as well as following advice from the IRS), every year I make copies of the tax forms, just in case.  This year I spent: $1.
• I finished up my taxes and made copies of the forms at the library right next to where ***a* lives.  I made a point of arranging this day so that I could get up in the morning and have something to do before ***a* was ready for sexytime with me, and to make sure I wasn't late, I went to the closest library as possible to her place ... which in fact is within walking distance.  So when the time came I walked over and ... well, I should blog about this some time, but I was able to finally cum in her mouth.  God, I love her: $120.
• After that I went to Diamonds for a late lunch.  Didn't want to eat anything heavy, but I didn't want coffee, either.  So I ordered the soup and a Coke; first time I got a Coke here.  The soup wasn't what the guy who was helping thought it would be, and he was so apologetic about it that after I said I'd take the soup as it is, he brought a $5 coupon to my table to make up for it.  Now that is customer service.  With tip: $7.75.
• To Sunday the 12th, where I found a penny on the ground.  Do people not value currency like I do?  Yes, it's just a penny, but it might come in handy when you buy something that ends in a $0.01.  An Infusion of: 1 cent.
• I had to print stuff out at the library that afternoon: 50 cents.
• Saturday, April 11 ... went to Annelace for coffee.  Think I tried to do my taxes there, but got caught up listening to EPL soccer.  Tweeted Talk Sport Live, the company doing the broadcast on radio.  And they announced my tweet during the game!  Sweet!!  They even said my last name right, too!!!  With tip: $3.75.
• Walked over to the library close to Annelace because I wanted to work on my taxes.  At this particular library they were really nice and generous.  Did you notice that, I think starting this year, the federal government did not make paper copies of the 1040s?  Damn Republicans and their cheap-ass ways.  I was reduced to borrowing their master form list to make copies or to ask the librarian for help.  I did the latter, but not only was he helpful, he actually printed out for me instructions for one of the schedules I thought I needed to fill out.  Turned out I didn't need to, but over the course of tax season this was the only guy at the only library that went so far as to spend taxpayer money to print out paper forms for me.  Everybody else left me to fend for myself.  Now that is customer service.  Oh ... realized I needed to print out a tax worksheet: 10 cents.
• After that I went to the Gopher softball game.  Program, hot dog, Coke: $10.25.
• That evening I went to the place where my alumni club watches games.  It's good to check in on them once in a while, let them know you appreciate them hosting parties.  I have made this my place to watch the Frozen Four final.  This is my second year in a row, the last year the one where Minnesota got upset by fucking Union College.  Still can't believe Matt O'Connor did that.  Hell of a game, and a hell of an atmosphere by the guy and the bartender who watched the game.  The bartender was so caught up with it that he turned down the music and turned the sound of the game up, something he's loath to do.  Had a couple of things to eat there; with tip: $9.
• Then went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version).  Tips, coffee: $9.
• Finally wound up my night at My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place.  Just for a milkshake, though.  With tip: $3.75.
• Back to Friday the 10th, where I "worked" at this research study at the U.  It was weird.  I was part of a group of four people presumably taking the test at the same time, but not together.  And I'm not sure if I did it "right," because I got done with the study before the other three did.  I was out of there in about 20 minutes.  It makes me think I did something wrong, and thus struck out on getting more money than I could have.  Did I not pay attention to the instructions, and did the study catch me?  An Infusion of: $10.
• I then went to St. Paul for *a***'s party.  ***e* was there, but she had to skee-daddle, so she couldn't give me the handjob that would mean that she completely paid me back for the game console I bought for her son.  On the upside, she was so busy that I had time to get a dance from *a*****, the first girl with ***e* who double teamed me all those years ago.  This lapper was done in the common room, and there were other guys around, so I didn't pull it out.  But she groped me through my porno pants and said, "I remember that!"  And then I got a dance from **e***, a new girl who caught my eye as soon as I saw her.  When I got an LD from her I was the only guy in the room; just as we started a guy got finished with his dance with another stripper (who I did not know), and as soon as he left I whipped it out.  That other girl got dismayed and left; what kind of party did she think this was?  **e*** was dismayed too, and so I put it back in.  But after telling me that the dance is now double, she spat on her fingers, reached down my pants and started strokin' it.  She's a keeper!  With cover: $75.
• Celebrated the cheap HJ at My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place.  California burger with fries, Coke and tip: $7.
• Thursday, April 9: This was the day where I finally had the mechanic put in the mass air flow sensor.  While I waited, I went to Hans' Bakery nearby for a long john and milk.  With tip it came out to: $2.75.
• And then I went to the library and had Happy Hour at a nearby fancy-schmancy restaurant.  The trip on the bus and back: $3.50.
• On Wednesday the 8th I also went to the mechanic.  This day was the day after I freaked out over the car stalling.  They said they could put the MAF sensor in, but the earliest they could do it was the next day, Friday.  That's why I went to these guys back-to-back.  Anyway I missed the bus, therefore I tried Hans' Bakery for the first time.  Had a donut and a bismarck.  With tip it totaled: $3.
• Round-trip bus: $3.50.
• At my destination I hung out at the library.  Also had coffee at the Dunn Bros. station stationed inside.  Just a coffee with tip: $2.28.

My God, these take so fucking long.  Caught up through Monday, May 11.