#RIPHef

My God, it's happened.  Hugh Hefner died last (Wednesday) night.  I saw it from a Facebook status update posted by a Facebook friend who was a Playmate (or is a Playmate -- Hef always said, "Once a Playmate, always a Playmate").  I knew he was getting up there in age -- he died at age 91, same age (assuming we are correct) that Grandmother died -- but like someone on Twitter said, he had lived so long we just assumed that, you know, he'd keep on living.

But no, Death comes for all of us, even those who singlehandedly changed American and world culture.  I mean, think about it: Pornography (and I don't want to get into a discussion about whether Playboy is porn or not, just know that fuck yeah it is) was a dirty secret kept away from polite society, so crammed down into the recesses of the American id that anybody who even spoke about female nudity was deemed to be a pervert.  Actually, anybody who does like to see naked female bodies is most likely a pervert.  Hey, you gotta be me.  But Hugh Hefner made it mainstream.  He brought out the female form as art you could be aroused by to the masses and said it was OK.

Hef (and I call him by his nickname like I knew him, even though the only time I ever saw him was at a book signing back in college ... oh yeah, where is that coffee table book?!) also was credited for liberating female thought as well as female bodies.  There has always been a belief that Hugh Hefner was exploiting women; and not for nothing, but I heard some rumblings that Playmate photos had been sold in recent years to porn sites without the Playmates' consent.  But the idea that women were just sex objects to him, while a big part of his success and personal lifestyle, did not tell the whole story.  From what I can tell, he was a big believer in civil rights and freedom of speech.  That cuts both ways; Playboy seems to have a libertarian streak that made right-wingers and gun nuts feel at home in the pages of his magazine.  But especially early on, he was a champion of promoting famous people of color and women's liberation.  For every woman who thought Hef was an oppressor, another one thanked him for allowing her to be who she really wanted to be -- namely, a fully-formed, fully-sexualized adult.  Yes, female nudity and sex -- pornography -- can easily be exploited.  But the truth about Hugh Hefner is that he was much, much more than that.

So for that reason, or for the fact that he was a self-made man who built an empire out of his own hands, or for the indisputable imprint he made in publishing and in modern culture in the 20th century, or (it always comes back to this, I admit) normalizing porn to the world and helping me to discover my everlasting lust for boobies and pussies (and thus masturbation), I say, Thanks, Mr. Hefner.  I say this in all seriousness; with the exception of those in my family and my high school counselor, you were the most influential man in my life.  I will miss you, as will every heterosexual male in the world.

RIP, Hef.