From Uninvited To Unwanted

I can't quite forget the sight of my relative, sitting alone at the dining room table last night, looking through her phone.  She's done that the past couple nights.  There are three other people in this house, yet none of them have engaged with her after dinner.  She's just ... there.  I don't know if she's lonely.  But I know that other, and better, people would at least find something to talk to her about, or at least just hang out with her.

I should expound on this a lot more than I am, but I want to wake up really early to watch the first World Cup match downtown before I head into work.  Anyway, for the month before she arrived, my parents and I were complaining about why in the hell this person whom we've never seen before would want to crash with us for two weeks.  Honestly, I'm still wondering that.  But instead of blaming her, I'm starting to think the problem's us.

See, when my relative was out hanging with some of our other relatives -- you know, people who are hospitable and know how to show people around a hometown -- we were at home having dinner.  There, both of my parents bad-mouthed her to me.  They warned me not to give her my phone number.  (I confess: I did last night!)  My Father, the one who is related by blood to my relative, then said never to visit her in Hong Kong.  "She believes she owns Hong Kong," My Fucking Father said, and I still have no goddamn idea what he meant.  (I confess: I took her address last night too!)

It astonishes me that my parents tell me all the time to be nice to people.  And yet, with them retreating downstairs to their bedroom after dinner, leaving their houseguest alone to just tool around by herself, they are being the exact opposite of nice.  I understand it is a handful to show someone around, and it is quite difficult to think of places in the Twin Cities to take a tourist.  (And I'll be honest: This woman goes through toilet paper rolls like nobody's business.  She asked Father to put a new one in on Monday and it's now already more than half gone.  I don't remember toilet paper vanishing this fast since Grandmother still lived here.)  But to just ignore her, like she's an obstacle to your day?  Yeah, she kind of is.  That doesn't mean you don't speak to her and don't make her feel welcome.

I get my introversion from them.  Introversion oftentimes is rudeness, and my parents are nothing if not rude.  Then again, while they retreated to their bedroom, last night I retreated to mine.  I left her alone, too.  I'm guilty of not being nice to my relative, too.  Hey, I learn from the best.