Is This Considered Stalking?

With my "time off," I have spent it trying to do productive things -- blogging this, exercising, going to the library.  But one of the things I want to do is to meet up with ***a* again -- to talk, but more importantly, to fuck.

Weird thing, though, is that I haven't been in contact with her for the past few months.  It is very weird, in fact.  She has been pretty OK with getting back to my texts, and she appeared as though she was OK with our fuck sessions.  It's just that I haven't been able to hook up with her because of work.  The last time we messed around was back in the fall.  We texted a few months ago, when she was going to Duluth, but when I tried messaging her again, I haven't gotten a response.

So, with free time on my hands, I have decided to try and visit her place to see if she's in.  I first tried dropping by last week, and I saw her barking dogs, so she didn't move or anything, but I didn't see her.  I've tried a couple times since, including Monday morning, but I did not push my face up on her screen door like I did the first time.  All I saw was a dark living room, and so I didn't try to peer any closer.

The complication to all this is her daughter.  She has a daughter, see, and I remember her face looking up at me at the end of a party ***a* hosted many, many years ago.  I had messed around in that party (not with her, though, I don't think), and I don't think she was supposed to be there when I left.  The daughter may have come home too early.  But that look ... man, that look of getting caught doing things she doesn't quite know but knows is, uh, adult ... she remembers me.  And she'll remember me if she ever sees me again, even if it's been years.  She's a teenager now; she might remember my face even better now.

That first visit was last week, which was also the last week of that city's high school.  So when I drop by now, there's a very good chance that ***a*'s daughter will be there.  But you know what?  I don't care.  Why?  I want to see if ***a* still wants to fuck or if she's trying to ghost me.  I miss fucking her, I really do, so I'm going to drop by to see what the deal is.

I tried that this morning, for example.  But after eating my banana in my car, I was about to approach the apartment.  But then I see a taxi in the parking lot, and the driver was still in the car.  What is he doing, waiting for a fare?  At 8 in the morning?  Weird.  But that didn't stop me from walking to the apartment.  Well, sort of.  I went to the window which I know is ***a*'s daughter's room, and I was afraid that it was open.  What if she sees me?  So I didn't approach any closer, even though I wasn't that close.  And fuck-all if that matters because the cab driver saw me half-ass my way to this apartment.  Man, I should have just gotten back in my car and drove off as soon as I saw that driver.

But!  I don't need to go to the IRS to get copies of my W2's, and I'm still horny af.  I'm going to drive back to the apartment complex and see if ***a* is there now.  Anybody who lives there will be awake by now.  And who knows?  Maybe the daughter is off working or with friends now.  Maybe ***a* is there, all alone, with nothing to do.  And I, stopping off to get $100 from my ATM, will come swooping in, propositioning an offer for an afternoon of plunging into her.

And if she isn't there?  Well, it's not weird that I dropped by some woman's place four or five times in the past two weeks and twice in the same morning.  Is it?  Please tell me it isn't.