Thursday, June 7, 2018

Mother Gave Me "The Talk" -- No, Not That Kind

Have to talk about this even though I'm technically vacationing now.

Went to the airport this morning -- really early this morning -- to catch my flight.  Thought both of my folks would take me, but instead, probably because it was so early, only Mother did.

I never, and I repeat never, thought that she would take the time during our trip to the airport to bring up her meltdown two weeks ago.  She kept talking about why I have a temper, and why she feels as though I don't want to communicate with them.

This was awkward, OK?  I didn't say anything because I didn't want to start another fight.  But do you know why I have a temper?  I GOT IT FROM THEM, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!  All the yelling I was raised in (mostly from Mother but Father gave as good as he got) and all the times they screamed at me?  Shit, you guys were the example I had to follow.  And I think she brought the question again of why do I treat strangers better than I treat her.  I'm sorry if I already have addressed this, but let me address it again.  First of all, that's not true, at least not mostly.  And second, the reason why I treat strangers better than I treat her is because strangers haven't threatened to beat me with a frying pain for the last 42 goddamn years.

The obliviousness is strong with this one.  However ... she didn't ask for any answers from me; I just didn't say anything.  And she did talk calmly to me; even though she oftentimes doesn't (and the fact that she doesn't realize this has been a hallmark of her bad parenting), it was kind of weird, in a good way, to hear her try to explain her side, even if she wasn't all that successful.  Maybe she took pills.

She asked me to stay in the dining room for five minutes after I finish dinner in case she needs my help with anything.  Guess I could do that.

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