Tuesday, June 26, 2018

I Just Need To Make It To The 4th

Our alumni club event is this Sunday, and even though everything seems to be all set (thank God for the hosts; they seem to think everything is in order, phew!), I am still nervous af.  I just don't think enough people are going to show up.  It doesn't help that our registration page appeared to close down orders on, I believe, Sunday.  I hate that shit.

I'm just afraid that it'll be a dud, that there will be, like, two families and me there.  That ain't no goddamn party.  And why?  Did I not do a good job advertising?  Do people not want to go?  Do people just not like me?  Man, it's so hard to be in charge of something you're afraid will go wrong.  These are the times I would love to pawn this off to someone else, but I can't.  It really is just me now.  And these are the times it sucks to be alone on this.

Coupled that with this dead-end gig (to which I called in sick, don't tell them) and this interview that may or may not lead to a job that I may or may not like and that may or may not be good for me, and I'm completely overwhelmed now.  I really am.  I'm looking forward to Independence Day not only because it's a holiday but also because that means this event is behind, for better and for worse.  This gig may also end, and that may not be good for my income, but at least I'll have a chance to nap in the afternoon.  At that point, I can exhale and then find more work later.

Right now, I'm holding on for dear life.  Just one week, and things may -- may -- get better.

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