Monday, February 3, 2020

Hottest Babe In The 2020 Hooters Calendar: January

I am surprised, even downright shocked, that the month of January is a dud.  I'm not saying that all ten of the girls in the month are ugly; far from it.  But I noticed that nearly all of them were not smiling.  They looked dour, or were trying to look sultry or something.  But seeing so many non-smiling pusses kind of bummed me out.  I'm not saying, "You'll look prettier if you smile more," ... no, I am.

There are some standouts.  The main girl, Somer of Clearwater, Fla., has that crease in her front that denotes fitness.  Rowan from Sarasota, Fla., has one, too, and she seems to have better abs.  And Casey of Lake Buena Vista, Fla., has a photo that's too small, but her breasts are huge!

(A babe who stands out but not in a good way: Last year's covergirl, Laiken Baumgartner, from Douglasville, Ga.  Her face looks extremely different than the photos of last year's calendar.  In fact, it so pasty and puffy, and her eyes are so much tinier than I remember them, that she is unrecognizable.  Honestly, I don't know what the hell happened to that shot.)

But after some debate, I think there's a clear winner, and one that jumped out at me from the get-go: Miami's Vanessa.  It's about time I picked a non-white chick.  She's got a cute floral two-piece; the bandeau top has large strands that seem to touch the ground.  But the best thing about Vanessa?  She's the only one of the ten who's smiling!  Smiling makes all the difference!

But naturally I'll whack off to all of them before turning the page.

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