Have I blog posted about this before? There have been two groups who meet on occasion, and yet they have often, sinisterly, been scheduled at the same Sunday and, even more devilish, at the same goddamn time on Sunday. There is my ... uh, smart people group, which had met monthly until attendance dropped and it has been infrequent until a new person has taken over. But there is this ... uh, alumni club resistance group which is pushing back on what the university is doing. That was meeting, like, biweekly and then triweekly, and then it didn't meet at all, and now we're trying to meet monthly.
I'll be honest: I was at first enthused to Zoom, and then I became less interested, and now I'd rather not. It feels like work, going to both. With the alumni club thing, what we have tried to fix is meeting a lot of, well, resistance and I saw my will to fight sapped. As for the smart peoples group -- well, I'm not someone who can carry a conversation, and with so few people, I feel as though if I show up I'll have to talk and talk and talk, and I really dread doing that the more and more I feel like I have to do it.
The EURO Final is a perfect excuse to just say screw it, I'm going out tonight and I'm not coming back. But there have been recent revelations in both groups. For the college stuff, there appears to be growing consternation from the alumni base about the lack of participation for an upcoming event next month -- genuine, organic frustration about this from people unprompted by any one us in this group. We were afraid this would happen because of the university's new structure, and we are going to pounce on these grassroots grumblings tonight. Meanwhile, the new person leading the smart peoples group hosted her first Zoom last month and seems severely dismayed by the lack of turnout. (I was going to hop on, just for a little bit, near the end of the planned meeting. It's a tactic I frequently employ for this group to make sure I am never the center of conversation. When I hopped on last month, the meeting had already ended.) I feel as though she's going to give it one more shot, and if it doesn't go the way she wants it to go, she's going to not only quit these Zooms, but quit her position, too. I don't want that.
Shoot, I don't want any of this. I don't know what I'm going to do.
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Oh, speaking of Zooms ... I'm also dreading (and scheduling for) next weekend. I planned my ex-alumni chapter's Zoom for Saturday, and sometimes, I forget that I did. I know that at least one person is going to show up, but when I posted on Facebook about the event, and then saw a couple days later that a friend from the club who I haven't talked to in a while is going to appear, for some reason I got all scared. Don't know why. But I did this last month, and two people showed up, and it lasted for less than an hour, and I said at the time it went well, but I don't remember feeling that way at all now. So I'm hating what's happening Saturday, and I don't think I can stay out of the house for this one.
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