I was eventually dealing with all three leaks, hauling my towels of chamois out of storage in order to sop up the increasingly large puddles of water that was going all over the place. I guess it's not bad in the objective sense; the basement's not flooded or anything. But it appears to be getting worse, and I sure as hell don't like it.
The leaks, and I, were at our worst yesterday/Saturday. For the life of me, I could not figure out how to stop them, at least in any "permanent" sense. The pinhole, for example, kept squirting out water even after I shut off the main valve. And I didn't want to go downstairs and wring the towels of water every four hours, which I was doing. So, even though I remembered at the time it not working, I bought pipe repair tape. And again, I don't remember how well it worked then, or how I felt it worked then, but at least the water was squirting up the wall. Instead, it was leaching through the tape (which it's not supposed to do). I can control that, however; that just means beads of water drop down, not everywhere, and there just happens to be an open pipe with a whole right underneath it. And I got a funnel, stuck it in that hole, and had the beads of water fall into that. But I kept the water off anyway.
Unfortunately, while I was at Home Depot picking up the tape (and, to be honest, after another run to two other hardware stores for a clamp), the water heater leak got significantly worse. I actually had half a mind to drive over to the United FC Match, or what was left of it. But when I saw a sizable trickle of water travel across the basement floor, I freaked out. That's when I texted Father of the more dire situation. There were times over the past few days where there wasn't a leak from beneath the heater after I turned off the main valve. I did before I made my hardware store run(s), and now the goddamn thing is leaking again? I was at my wit's end, and frankly, I took it out of Father when he called me.
And that's when I realized I could do one more thing: Turn off the water going into the water heater tank. I think I turned it off; it's also a "gate" valve, and for some damn reason, it's red when all cold water inlet valves going into the tank should be blue. But it's the only valve I see. So I turned it all the way off and ... it feels as though there was no more water. So I went to Home Depot a second time because Father asked me to get an estimate on the installation on a new water heater. There was a guy there who talked my ear off, but hey, I was frazzled, so I didn't really mind listening to him. It was about a half-hour, probably more, when I got back. I trundled down to the basement and ... everything was dry. So turning off everything appeared to work. I checked throughout the night; totally dry.
I'm still not sure what exactly happened, both as to how the leaks got worse and how I stopped them. Apparently you don't really "fix" a water heater; like the Home Depot guy said, if it's shittin' water (my words, not his) from the bottom, it's not fixable. And yet I turn off the water going into the tank, and it's dry like a desert. Is it completely empty? Hope not. I still have the heater on, albeit on "vacation" mode, and if it's empty, that means it's possible it could explode. That's why I think I should turn on the water at least once daily until it gets replaced; I need to use water here just so I can flush the toilet and wash my hands, and that way I possibly can fill my tank with enough water so the heating, uh, thingy inside it won't damage the tank more than it already is.
At any rate, I just wanted the water to stop. I needed to get this watery invasion of what I think to be my castle. And I don't want to keep minding that fucking thing every two hours to mop up the mess. Sure, I don't have running water now. But things are stable here. I think I can leave the house for work with all the water turned off and be safe I'll have a house to come back to. I can also stay in this house, and in my bed, and feel safe. Because not feeling safe at home is very, very sad.
I now have to make it until my folks come home. In the meantime, I need to cast about for a plumber who can replace the water heater and, harkening back to the first problem, fix the pinhole leak. It's not going to be great living like this for 72 hours. But I think I can manage. I just wanted the water to stop, and stay stopped. That's all.
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And I just checked downstairs again. No water. I don't have to mind it. For now. Phew. I think.
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