Positive Numbers: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3). Holy fucking shit! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! They fucking did it! They got blown out in Denver in Game 5, but then took Game 6 back at Target Center, and then, after being down 15 at Halftime and by as many as 20 to start the Third Quarter, THEY FUCKING CAME BACK TO BEAT THE NUGGETS, ON THE ROAD IN GAME 7!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! I think the NBA says this is The Biggest Comeback To Win A Game 7 (On The Road???) Ever!!!
I don't know what else to say ... because I thought they would lose last/Sunday night by ten or 15 Points. I was so sure they would lose that I had no intention of watching or listening to the Game. Actually, I was at a museum taking in a Peanuts exhibition in St. Paul in the afternoon, so after dinner I went to bed at around 5:30 and woke up around 9:30. I then took a much-needed shower and, to delay seeing the score I thought was inevitable, I shaved myself for the first time this calendar year (as opposed to paying someone to shave me). I then decided I would discover the score through X. I saw some tweet about the Nuggets holding, so I discounted understanding who won through that. But I then saw a screenshot of a box score which showed the Wolves won, 98-90, and I discounted that because hey, it's social media. But finally I caught the NBA Twitter feed, which tweeted out a slo-mo Anthony Edwards GIF with the caption, "Ant celebrating the W," or something like that. And I went, "HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!"
They face The Dallas Mavericks in The Western Conference Finals, and since the Timberwolves are the higher-seeded team, they'll have home-court advantage this series. Not that it matters; Denver had it last series, and our Wolves fuckin' won Game 7 on the road! HOOTIE-HOOO!!!!!!!
#0: PWHL (OK, I'll talk about them now). Look, it's still wrong what the vultures which now have taken over North American women's professional hockey have done (and yes, I know that one of the owners is Billie Jean King -- it's still wrong). But if I want to talk about the Timberwolves coming back and winning a series I didn't think they'd win, I have to talk about The Minnesota Whiteca ... er, PWHL Minnesota (goddamn, just take the fucking name Whitecaps, you bought the intellectual property, for fuck's sake).
In case you don't know what's going on with this squad (and that's totally understandable if you were turned off by how the PHF was sold down the river), PWHL Minnesota were flying at the start of the league's season but had lost five in a row to end it. They were free-falling down the standings and needed PWHL Ottawa to lose in order to finally get a playoff spot through the backdoor. In the PWHL, the top seed, in this case PWHL Toronto, got to choose whether to play fourth-seed PWHL Minnesota or third-seed Boston for their Semifinal Series. There has always been some talk about jazzing up the postseason with a "choose your opponent" playoff bracket, and the PWHL has done that, but wouldn't you choose to face the team on a losing streak?
That decision was working out logically, as PWHL Toronto won the first two Games of the series. But in Game 3, their best player, Forward Natalie Spooner, got hit by our Grace Zumwinkle, and she was done for the rest of the series because of a knee injury. Well, that's become the rest of the season, because PWHL Minnesota stormed back to win Games 3, 4 and 5 (the first two at the X, the latter in Toronto) to win the series in come-from-behind fashion and face that third-seeded PWHL Boston (who not only upset second-seeded PWHL Montreal but swept that club) for The, uh, Walter Cup. I don't understand what was so wrong with The Isobel Cup. You might not know it, and the PWHL might be choosing to ignore this history, but The Boston Pride defeated the Whitecaps to win the Isobel in the 2020-1 PHF season. And the two most-passionate United States markets for hockey clash again ... with PWHL Boston taking Game 1 of the championship series yesterday/Sunday afternoon, 4-3. PWHL took the lead at 1-0 and 2-1, but PWHL Boston tied it up both times, and after Taylor Heise potted her second Goal of the contest to knot it up at 3 late in the Third Period, Jess Healey scored the Game-winner fifteen Second later and with 2 1/2 Minutes left in regulation. Guess PWHL Minnesota is going to take the long way again. No matter ... maybe.
#-1: United FC (Re-Entry!). With all the hubbub going on with the Timberwolves (and to a lesser extent PWHL Minnesota), I feel real, real bad that the Loons are in negative numbers even though they're unbeaten in the last five Matches. More surprising was that they came back from a 1-0 deficit to beat The Portland Timbers, 2-1, at Allianz Field Saturday night. A lost ball turned into a quick strike in the 17th Minute, which Portland's Jonathan Rodriguez deposited past Dayne St. Clair. But Eric Ramsey, who rotated out his usual starters in what turned out to be a 5-4-1, finally put in his old-guard subs early in the Second Half, and that turned the tide. Starter Joseph Rosales flipped a ball to sub Robin Lod, who foot-flicked it past Timbers Goalkeeper Maxime Crepeau to tie it up in the 65th. Then, in the 82nd, two Substitutes connected for the Match-winner; D. J. Taylor found Jeong Sang-bin in the box, who eased it into the corner.
This, by the way, comes three Days after they blew a 1-0 lead but came back to salvage a 2-all tie at home to The Los Angeles Galaxy on Wednesday. Both United FC Goals, by the by, came via Set Pieces, an area of tangible, apparent improvement under Ramsey. It has been rare to see MNUFC, and in fact any Minnesota sports team, come back from a deficit. (I sense a theme here.) But United FC's recent winning form has broken them out of a four-way tie to grab second place in the Western Conference all for themselves. They are in the middle of a busy stretch, however, playing five tilts in 2 1/2 Weeks, the next two of which are on the road beginning with Colorado Saturday.
#-2: Twins (Last Week: -1). With the success of the Timberwolves (and, to a lesser extent, PWHL Minnesota and the Loons), it's easy and, frankly, a relief to be able to ignore the Twinks, who had been riding high until losing every single motherfucking Game this screening Week in sweeps courtesy of the Yankees (who came to Target Field and made the Twinks their bitches, again) and Cleveland, to whom they are now trailing by 5 1/2 Games in the A. L. Central. What an absolute goddamn disaster.
Oh, well. They don't have to play great teams all season. To wit: They face two perfectly mediocre clubs this Week -- Washington on the road starting tonight/Monday night, then home to The Bastard Washington Senators v.2.0 for a three-Game series starting Friday.
#-Infinity: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -2). They took two-of-three in the final series of the regular season, at Northwestern. But even though I don't know for sure, that Loss, 7-6 Friday in which the lead changed hands five times as both teams scored exactly two Runs each time to take a one-Run lead, including the last three half-Innings, possibly resigned Minnesota to ninth place in the Big Ten, a half-Game behind eighth-place Penn St., who was the final team to make The Big Ten Tournament.
And so this program's season ends. And John Anderson retires, his last Game being a 4-2 Win over the Wildcats yesterday/Sunday afternoon. There is something about being at the same job 40+ years, and there is something to be said for being a rock, an institution. But with this being (for all intents and purposes; I think there is still track and field left) the final University of Minnesota sports action for the 2023-4 school year, a page can be turned -- not just for Anderson, and not just for the U. baseball program, but for Golden Gopher sports. College football's insatiable demands means four new universities, all way out on the West Coast, become part of the B1G starting in the fall, and all sports (not just football) will head out on a brave new world of transfer portals and NIL money. I don't know if that's the reason Anderson chose to retire. But I think that, respectfully, his retirement allows for a fresh set of eyes to review what I think is a sleeping giant. There is an opportunity to inject some new blood to Siebert Field, and with it opportunities to bring in new players, a fresh mindset, and improved processes that can lead to a resuscitation of a program that, frankly, has seen better days. There may need to be some time to rebuild, but the possibility of upgrading Gopher baseball by leaps and bounds is there. I truly believe that.
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