Goddamn, I had no idea what was in store for me.
I put in a mobile order for the closest Chipotle near me. I drive over. I didn't realize that the carnival blew in and set down its fair for the weekend at the usually-empty parking lot next to the mini-stripmall that includes this Chipotle, as they have done for many, many years now. I park at the big mall several yards away. But I notice that there are a couple cop cars with their lights still on at this mini-stripmall. And then, as I was walking toward Chipotle, the police cars I saw with their lights on driving down the road had pulled through into this mini-stripmall. Oh, shit.
I continue to walk toward Chipotle anyway. A mom with kids in tow approaches me. "Did you know there was a fight going on?" she said, "Yeah, it's real ghetto over there. I wouldn't go there if I were you." Normally I would run in the other direction, but unfortunately, I already paid eight bucks for one chicken taco al pastor and a bottle of Mexican Coke, and I don't think Chipotle would give me my money back because of a police disturbance.
Luckily I was able to sneak in, and luckily the Chipotle guy inside believed me when I said I had a mobile order ready. I wanted to consume everything there, but obviously things were too hairy to do that. I wanted to then eat in my car. But as I was walking back, I saw a cop take out a gun with a bright green back end, then load what looked to be a green ball in the back. Looking it up real quick, it looks to be a riot gun, and the police officer loaded some less-lethal ammunition. The fight apparently happened in the paved area right to the side of the Chipotle. That Chipotle used to be a Starbucks where you could drive through. There are now bollards to prevent cars from driving through, but that turns it into an area where you can just, well, hang and maybe start a fight. My guess is that riot gun was going to break that up, although I thought I heard a cop shout into a bullhorn, "The carnival is now closed."
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So with the gargantuan crowd being dispersed, I no longer felt safe just eating in my car. Had to get the hell out of there. I then saw that my car was only half-full, so I got the idea of going to a gas station, pulling up to a pump, and scarfing down my taco in case anyone at the station didn't want me to dilly-daddle.
One problem: I don't have a bottle opener on me. It wasn't going to be a problem if I was going to drink the Coke at Chipotle, but now I'll need something, like the corner of the pump itself, to break the cap open. And then, while I was figuring out how to do that, some woman, out of the blue, wearing clothing that seemed native to a South American country, came up to my car while I was eating inside. She was holding out a gold necklace, gesturing it toward me as if to say, "You want to buy this necklace?" I wave my hand to her no. And then she said, "Come out, it's gold!" And I've seen these weird people about, oh, half a dozen times in my life where they go around a parking lot of some establishment offering to sell, like, a watch or something. Who are these fucking people? What makes them think they can just sell shit at a gas station? And has anyone, anyone just gone to a gas station to get gasoline, saw some stranger come up with a trinket and go, "You know, I was just here to get some gas, but damn, I need to buy this necklace from this chick at the parking lot!"
I get more demonstrative with my hand in order to let her know to get the hell away from me. And as I was eating the rest of my taco (which was way colder than it should've been, should've eaten it at Chipotle), this weird woman kept approaching everyone at the gas station parking lot offering to see this necklace. That bullshit weirded me the fuck out, so after eating the taco, I had to leave this gas station for another gas station close to home, even though the gas there was about 20 cents more than the one I was at. I had to leave. I spent two bucks less than I planned to. And I found that the edge of the speaker box at the pump was perfect for busting open the Coke.
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Oh. *****y never called. She probably was busy all night hanging out with her sisters and brothers.
I'm thinking that the relatively warm weather yesterday (it was great last night) contributing to the wild night. But we didn't have much of a winter. You could hang out outside for many, many weekends in November through March. I thought it would've wrung out the cabin fever tension so that kids wouldn't get into fights and weird women wearing historical wear wouldn't be hocking gold necklaces at a gas station parking lot. I was wrong. And that all this crap happened in my neighborhood tells me that this might happen every Saturday night.
Besides the extra points from Chipotle, maybe it was a mistake to venture out last/Saturday night.
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