#-1: Lynx (NEW SEASON!!!). Whoops, I forgot that the Lynx started their season back on the 14th. Sorry. But they beat Seattle in a home-and-home to start off on the right foot. This past Week they suffered their first Loss at currently-undefeated Connecticut, 83-82 in Overtime Thursday. But they bounced back with a resounding 17-Point Win at Target Center vs. superteam New York Saturday afternoon (in the first-ever Game broadcast on over-the-air CBS), then with a 92-79 victory at Atlanta yesterday/Sunday afternoon.
Napheesa Collier remains the steady storer, and the cornerstone of this franchise. But in the Wins over the Liberty and the Dream, Kayla McBride has gone off and been scoring like the dickens. Unfortunately, budding star Diamond Miller was injured in the tilt versus the Sun and, forebodingly, is considered out indefinitely.
Ephemeral as this probably is, Minnesota is leading The Western Conference, albeit by a half-Game over The Bastard Utah Starzzz/San Antonio Silver Stars. That is enough to give the Lynx the top spot in this Week's WMNSS. This Week they play Las Vegas, Phoenix and The Bastard Detroit-by-way-of-Tulsa Shock. Fortunately, they will play all three opponents at home.
#-2: United FC (Last Week: -1). I was trying to catch the Loons' Match at Colorado Saturday night, but my attention was distracted by all the other sports I could catch on over-the-air TV and Sling: MLB on Fox/Channel 9, NWSL on ion/Channel 41, the other MLS Games on Apple TV, and the Arizona-USC Pac-12 Baseball Championship Game on ESPN2, the final sporting event under the banner of The Pac-12 Conference. I was able to catch Jeong Sang-bin's first of two Goals against the Rapids, a perfectly-placed through ball by Robin Lod to which Jeong put on the afterburners to reach. That made the Game 1-0 for MNUFC, but Colorado tied it up, and that convinced me to surf the other sports. I saw on my Yahoo! Sports app that MNUFC went up 3-1 at Halftime, but I saw the Rapids pull one back, and I avoided watching the rest of the Game. Good thing, because Colorado tied it up, and what was once a two-Goal lead ended up a 3-all Draw. More than one person I read up on said this was the most fucked-up Match not only in United FC's history but they have ever seen.
Meanwhile, Emanuel Reynoso was seen in a video holding a sack of money and a gun. Bebelo was in town and apparently he is physically with the club. But it has become all but official that he will be out of the organization very soon. In fact, there was talk that he would be sent out to Liga MX side Juarez. But that news came out just before the video. Can Rey be moved now that the video's out? He could be suspended for conduct detrimental to the league (assuming MLS has a policy policing a player's off-pitch actions), at any rate, MNUFC might be willing to cut him no matter the cost.
If so, what a stunningly strange end to the career of Reynoso here in Minnesota. Most of the highest-profile international signings the squad has signed have been slow to gain form, if they ever gain form at all. But Reynoso? Manny Lagos' signing was a hit as soon as he began starting. His ability to dribble, pass and make defenders miss was a huge advantage for MNUFC, and he was able to pull miracles because every foe had to react to his whims. But then he would go down to Cordoba, Argentina and not show up back in Minnesota. To compensate, the team finally gave Robin Lod (one of those international signings who started slow) the chance to be the team's creator, and he has, splendidly at times. And it looks as though Eric Ramsay's preferred tactics doesn't lend itself to the gravitational pull Reynoso plays with. So, either via loan or termination, Reynoso's time has run out, and Robin Lod now has the chance to be The Best Player In Minnesota United FC's history ... if he isn't already.
Busy Week: They are at LAFC Wednesday, then host Sporting Saturday (in a contest I can't attend because I will be at a wedding).
#-3: Twins (Last Week: -2). These guys didn't have a bad screening Week, winning series at Washington and home to Texas. But they are now 7 1/2 Games in the American League Central because first-place Cleveland are currently on a nine-Game winning streak. Also, the Twins are in third place, five Games behind ... Kansas City? What we all thought was The Weakest Division In Major League Baseball has gotten a sudden upgrade, and now the challenge is if Minnesota is ready for it.
And wouldn't you know, the Royals are in town for four beginning today/Monday/Memorial Day. They then visit Houston for three for the weekend.
#-Infinity (tied): Timberwolves and PWHL (Last Week, respectively: Positive Numbers and 0). The Woofie Dogs ... I just can't ... how a team that confounding doubts and swept Phoenix, then won twice at Denver, went down 3-2 to the Nuggets and then somehow took the last two Games of the series (including Game 7 at Denver) ... they just fucking pissed down their legs against Dallas. Yes, Luka Doncic and Kyrie Irving are great, but Luka is hurt and they're just two guys, and even though the Mavericks are deep, the Woofie Dogs are deeper. Well, I thought they were deeper. Who knows if the bench is costing them Games, but as I have heard (because I haven't watched any of their Games, and it looks like I'm the smart one), Anthony Edwards and Karl-Anthony Towns have been cold (especially the latter), and down the stretch, the Woofie Dogs are shitting the bed while the Mavs are making plays. How everything went from Milhouse to ... well, this is confounding, and infuriating, and embarrassing, and emasculating.
By the way, I cannot believe that Jason Kidd is outcoaching Chris Finch. I know for a fact that Dallas will get swept by Boston and we will wonder how the fuck that shit-ass team swept our shit-ass team.
I caught the Woofie Dogs score after coming home last/Sunday from the X. After hearing PWHL Minnesota won Game 3, I decided to have faith and hope that I could see some goddamn team from this godforsaken state win a championship, so I spent $70 for a ticket for last/Sunday night's Game 4 hoping to see these women clinch.
They didn't. It was a tight match, and it went into double Overtime. Near the end of the fifth Period, it looked as PWHL Minnesota scored. But upon review, the Referee overturned it due to Goalie Interference. Trust me; it was one of those plays where you had no clear and convincing evidence to overturn it. If it were called Goal Interference from the outset, it should've stayed that way. But goddammit, it was called Goal and then the fucking ref said no. And of fucking course Boston scored a couple Minutes later to tie up the series.
They got fucked. I really believe so. Do not lump me in with the trolls and bullies who yell insults at officials all Game. There are legitimate gripes on both calls and no-calls from this pivotal Game that this ref had better goddamn answer to. But regardless of how they lost, these players lost. They had a perfect chance to alleviate the suffering of an entire state, and they didn't. And the way they lost proves that Whitecaps name or no, PWHL Minnesota is now a Minnesota sports team for sure.
The winner-take-all Game 5 is tomorrow/Tuesday in Boston. The puck drops at 6. The Woofie Dogs play Game 4 90 Minutes later. Both teams could be eliminated on the same night. Scratch that -- both teams will. And I am fucking desperate right now looking for any distraction -- a movie, a massage, work for fuck's sake -- so that I won't have to learn about the scores of both Games in real time. Because if I hear they both lost before I'm ready, I will slit my own throat.
By the way, I don't give a fuck if you call me a bandwagon fan. I will not brand my eyes and torture my brain by witnessing two cursed loser teams. And if by some miracle one or both of these teams are victorious, I'll climb back on the bandwagon. Until then, I will avoid any bad experiences in order to protect my wallet, my dignity and my sanity. And fuck y'all if you don't like it. I'm pretty sure my worst fears will be realized tomorrow/Tuesday, and this time next screening Week I'll be bitching about these two again right here, at #-Infinity.
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