The Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: April 2024

From the fleeting glances I've been able to shoot this month's way, I have determined that I will recognize seven of the dozen women gracing this month.  I think it's a solid, middle-of-the-pack month, though I get the feeling that if I saw this hanging on my wall all April, I would grade it somewhat better.

In seventh place is May May.  She's an international -- Bangkok, to be exact!  I have heard that Hooters in Asia can get pretty wild.  There are pageants here in the United States where the waitresses appear in their bikinis with their asses hanging out.  In Thailand (I believe), ass-showing is a much more frequent occurrence.  I need to go.  Anyway, May May has long, dark hair, is wearing a lime green two-piece bikini, and has shifted her body weight to her left side, leg and hip, giving her pose a Botticelli-like curve.  But she is posing completely facing the camera, which is the very basic requirement for me to recognize a Hooters girl.

In sixth place is Callie, out of Greensboro, N.C.  Long and straight blonde hair, orange two-piece bordered in baby blue.  She doesn't smile (in that sense she is similar to May May, whose photo is to the right of Callie's) so as grit her teeth; you can standardize levels on her straight mouth.  But like May May, she is posing right at the camera.  Also, she is pulling up the sides of her bikini bottom, and that's a sense of action that gives her photograph some dynamism.

In fifth place is Alondra, hailing from Rockford, Ill.  She's got really long black hair; it goes all the way down to her hips.  She is smiling, which is a plus.  But mostly, I'm putting Alondra here because she is sporting a patterned but mostly pink two-piece bikini.  That swimwear is a level of complexity and detail I have rarely seen on a Hooters waitress.

In fourth pace is Isabella, of West Springfield, Mass.  Long-ish light brown hair, orange two-piece.  Not quite a fan of her arms in this pic, which is grabbing onto the base of her neck.  But what I really notice is that she has some wide, wide hips.  I also haven't seen that much on a Hooters woman, so I am giving props to Isabella here.

In third place is Astryn -- is that a real name? -- out of Garland, Tex.  Blonde hair that reaches her boobs, blue two-piece bikini.  Her body is on the bony side.  But Astryn is beaming wide, grabbing onto the right side of her bikini bottom, jutting out her right hip, and facing directly at us.  A classic blonde beauty; if you saw her coming at you with a plate of wings, you would wish you could see her in the Hooters calendar.  Also, there appears to be a tree and a stone fence behind her, so it looks as though she was photographed in a park.  I like that.

In second place is Gracie, hailing from Brandon, Fla.  Brown hair with blonde highlights and some volume, orange two-piece.  Gracie is also front-facing, and she is also tugging the sides of her bottom.  But that Mona Lisa smile just gets me off!

Finally, taking the top spot is Ashley, of Weston, Fla.  Dark brown or black hair, deep blue two-piece bikini.  Her setting is what puts her photo over the top.  She is hip-deep in what looks to be a lake, and it's not great not to see her nether regions.  But this picture was taken, I think, at dusk, and there is a beautiful sunset backdropping Ashley.  She's gorgeous, but so is the photograph.

So congratulations to Ashley and all the other Hooters servers I have singled out for April 2024.  And just an FYI, I masturbated to all seven of these babes just before I blog posted this.  Prost!