So my folks are coming home in about a week.  Haven't heard from them, at all, in Africa.  They must be living their best lives there.  Or, they don't have adequate access to wi-fi and/or have no means of calling or texting me.

It's funny; I worry about them a lot when they're away from home, but when they're home, I often wish to keep my distance.  So long as they're alive I'm happy, and I can obviously see they're alive if they're put-putting around the house, so what else do I need to do with them?

Is thinking that somewhat mean?  Yeah.