Soccer Rules My Spare Time

This USWNT Match this/Saturday afternoon, by the way, is the fourth consecutive Saturday I will spend at Allianz Field.  The first three Saturdays were for United FC for Major League Soccer Games, and you can add a Wednesday Match I saw the Loons in for the U. S. Open Cup.  That's a lot of Games to see.  If you love it it doesn't feel like a chore, but I have to admit it's starting to get to me a bit.  I don't see how season ticket holders for baseball, basketball and hockey teams do it.

With work being such a bear these days, weekends are my only me time.  There are things I want to do, such as go through my stuff.  But (and sure, this might be just an excuse), when I have somewhere I have to go, my entire day revolves around that, to the point where anything substantial I need to do I rarely do.  What I do instead is, well, take a nap ... which I will do after I blog post this.  I might have time to juice a lemon for the cocktail I want to have after I come home, but that's all I'm doing besides the Match.

I still love soccer, and I still love MNUFC.  I might even go to a MNUFC2 Match or two now that I went to my first one a couple weeks ago.  But doing all this is a commitment, and I didn't think I would be such a soccer rube -- especially since I don't understand many and flat out don't like a few of their rules.  And in the meantime, it takes up a lot of my free time.  Oh, well.

Recouped Some Of My Money -- That's A ... Good Thing?

I am going to the United States Women's Soccer Team's Friendly against China (formally referred to as "China PR") at Allianz Field this/Saturday afternoon.  I bought a ticket several weeks ago, not thinking that my friend, who has two Major League Soccer season tickets (at least) and who frequently allows me to sit next to her because that second ticket of hers often goes unused, bought tickets to this Match.  Then I thought that, well, this is the best country-based women's soccer side on Earth, so someone would want to go to this Game with her, but my friend said no one did.  And since she bought better seats than I did (mine was in the upper deck, and I would get the brunt of the Sun throughout the Match), when she offered the seat next to her, I said hell yeah.

But that meant I needed to sell the ticket I bought.  That was an adventure in and of itself.  I thought I could just go to any scalper site and put it up.  But since I bought it through Ticketmaster, I had to sell it through Ticketmaster.  And that ain't so simple, either.  I had no way of, I guess, pre-transferring it so the ticket automatically gets electronically given to the buyer, which was weird to me.  So I had to do some digging and I then found out that United States Soccer has its own, uh, mini-site within which it can control the tickets USWNT Games are sold for and to.  If I didn't know this mini-site even existed, I would not have been able to sell my ticket.

It gets a even more complicated than that.  I decided to initially sell my ticket at a price where I would recoup the amount for which I bought it.  Because this site (and, ostensibly, U. S. Soccer) gets a cut, I had to set the price for a little ... no, a bit more than I bought it for.  That would make the price higher than the other prices I saw tickets being sold for on SeatGeek and StubHub, so I thought there was a good chance I would have to lower my price if I wanted to sell it.  However, USWNT had an option whereby I could automatically sell it back to them, no questions asked, at a price they set.  That would have helped make it easy to get rid of the ticket, and I had to get rid of this ticket because I knew I wasn't going to use it.  But I gave myself until Thursday night; if the ticket I had didn't sell at a price I eventually settled on, I would take U. S. Soccer up on their offer ... assuming they were still extending that offer by the time I settled for it.

Tuesday night it still didn't sell, so I bit the bullet and lowered the price so that, after fees and cuts, I would be losing money.  It still didn't sell as of Wednesday evening, so I lowered it so that the sell price was the lowest price I saw on the scalper sites, but only by a buck.  I was ready to give in, but on Thursday night I looked at the mini-site and, lo and behold, it did sell, thank goodness.

I will be honest: I paid about $73 total for the ticket.  U. S. Soccer told me it sold for about $56, which is strange, because I set the last price around $61.  Either they are telling me the amount of money I am going to get back and they already are accounting for their cut, or, and this is another thing at least USWNT does, I mistakenly opted for "dynamic pricing," whereby you let the mini-site set the price and allow them to raise or lower it depending on whether other tickets are selling or not selling.  I know I didn't set the price for $56, which, if I were more enterprising, I would follow up on.  But, for now, I note that their take-it-or-leave-it offer was for about $34.  If I had taken them up on it, I would have absorbed about a $39 loss.  Since I stuck to my guns (I guess), I took a $17 hit, but I got $22 more than I would have if I just gave in to USWNT.  So ... that's a ... good thing ... ?

Needed A Sleep Reset

Yesterday/Thursday was the rarest of days: A workday where I left early.  Beats the hell out of me, but I heard that there is a lot of work, there just wasn't enough people to do it, and so they just left it for today.  I was hoping beyond hope I had time to go to the bank, and I was able to get there and deposit checks before they closed.

And since I had a good chunk of my afternoon free, I went down to Young Joni for happy hour.  After that I gassed up, went to buy a liter of pop, then got home and felt tired enough to go to sleep at 9:30 ...

... and I woke up at 2:30.  And I am now wide awake.  Which means I will probably drop dead asleep later this morning at work, of which I should be inundated with stuff.  Well, at least I got five hours of sleep, right?

#MinnesotaIsLoservilleUSA

Timberwolves lost.  And they went out like bitches, too.

I am not going to single players out, although some of them didn't show up this series.  We fans always act like General Managers, thinking we should get rid of this guy, and trade for that guy.  Wanting to control people is very Republican of us -- come to think of it, that's why fantasy sports is so popular now -- but we're just fucking fans who don't know jack shit how to run a team ... which is another aspect of Republicans.  That's our emotions exploding out of us without being hindered by thinking (which is yet another trait of Republicans).  Besides, this is a team sport, so this is a team effort, or lack thereof.  Everybody in that organization is to fucking blame, every single one.

But the reckless outpouring of anger and depression, especially right now, I understand.  Everything fucking sucks.  Our best chance to finally win a goddamn championship (and yeah, yeah, fuck the Frost transphobes) in decades and we let it go, again.  Being a Minnesota sports fan is to be pummeled by defeat on a permanent basis.  It is to know pain, to be pain, to become one with pain until you look in the mirror and only see pain staring back at you.

#MinnesotaIsLoservilleUSA

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Before I begin ... yes, I know that the Frost won their second straight PWHL Walter Cup championship Memorial Afternoon.  I still will not cover the team.  The name sucks, they should be named the Whitecaps, Natalie Darwitz was still done dirty, Kendall Coyne Schofield remains a backstabber, and there's still something skeevy about Britta Curl-Salemme, who apologized for past transphobic and pro-MAGAt comments but nonetheless found a home that appears to be a safe space for transphobes and MAGAts (and was instrumental in evening up the title series in Game 2 by scoring the Goal that sent it to Overtime and the Goal in OT to win it -- it's always the bad people doing good things, isn't it?).  I would bet good money they'll go see Trump.

#-1: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  They ran the table this screening Week, going 3-0, and are 5-0 to start the season.  They get the top spot, no doubt about it.  I thought about Positive Numbers for the Lynx, but I can't go that far, at least not this Week.  Why?  Well, for one, The New York Liberty is the other team that's still undefeated (even though that squad is 4-0 as of press time); if Minnesota was the last undefeated squad, I might do it.  Also, look at the margins of victory of these three Games this Week -- four over The Bastard Detroit Shock and hometown girl Paige Bueckers (and by the way, she is making her mark in the WNBA like I thought she would; she's going to be the next superstar in the league); six over The Bastard Orlando Miracle where they were down by 15 midway through the Fourth Quarter and then outscored Connecticut, 23-2 to snatch the Win; and five over a Seattle team that is better than its 3-2 record indicates.

I think playing all three of those Matches at Target Center helped a lot.  But they have to leave for a couple Games this Week, going to Phoenix Friday and San Francisco to play the expansion Golden State Valkyries Sunday night.  They return to home and host the Mercury Tuesday.

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -3).  Draws in soccer where your club scored to tie it up kind of feel like Wins.  Draws in soccer where the other team scored to tie it up kind of feel like Losses.  So yes, even though they notched a Point at home versus Austin FC, this 1-all Tie feels like a defeat because of a swift and clinical counterattack by Los Verdes.  Those guys aren't pushovers -- they're around the playoff line right now -- but it's still disappointing that Michael Boxall's header off a Corner Kick didn't hold up.

Oh, I should add that they did have a thrilling victory over St. Louis City SC last Wednesday in the U. S. Open Cup.  They led by virtue of Kelvin Yeboah's Goal at the Half, lost the lead on two City Goals in the Second Half ten Minutes apart and then, while I was resigned to seeing them lose, former City player Anthony Markanich tallied the tying and then the Game-winning Goal (the latter on a header off a Corner) three Minutes apart to pull off the Win.  They host The Chicago Fire in the Quarterfinals in early July.  Moreover, they were given home-pitch advantage throughout the tournament.  So, if MNUFC continue to win all the way to the final, it'll be at Allianz Field.  For a fanbase starving for any title, thinking about that is interesting.  And if good luck -- or, as my soccer-loving friend insinuates, a set-up for the Loons to succeed -- is what's needed for some male team to win something around these parts, well, I'll give them a boost in the WMNSS because of it.

The Loons, who sit third in the West in league play, have a busy Week facing a pair of formidable opponents -- the Whitecaps in Vancouver tonight/Wednesday night, the Sounders in Seattle Sunday.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -2).  A 4-3 screening Week featuring a relative brown-out on Offense, but the starting pitching continuing to hold up in a Doubleheader split at home vs. Cleveland, a series Win at home over Kansas City, and so far a split in Tampa against the Bay Rays in the Yankees' minor league home.  They still remain as ALWC1 which, considering where they were not too long ago, remains impressive.

This is crazy: After finishing up their series with the Bay Rays this/Wednesday afternoon, they have to travel allllllllllllllllll the way to the Pacific Northwest to play in Seattle for a three-Game series over the weekend.  They then go to the other Major League Baseball team playing in a Minor League Baseball park: The Athletics, in Sacramento, for three starting Monday.

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  It's the weirdest thing, but before waking up yesterday/Tuesday morning, I had a dream where I was finally able to tune into the radio and hear that the Wolves won Game 4 and evened up The Western Conference Finals with The Bastard SuperSonics.  Those are the vivid dreams that take me a minute to realize they are just that, dreams.  And so I diligently avoided any scores or sports news because I wanted to wait till I heard the opening montage of "The Common Man Progrum" on KFAN at noon.  And when I heard the opening notes of "O-o-h Child" by The Five Stairsteps, I turned the stream off because I learned they lost, dropping them to the brink of elimination in the WCF for a second consecutive season.  Goddammit, why do I delude myself like this?

And I do not want to look on the bright side.  I heard one commenter on the 'Grum that the Woofie Dogs are a "trash team."  Look, I understand that reaching the WCF in back-to-back-Years is an accomplishment, and maybe when the hurt and frustration and ennui subside years from now, I can look back at this era of the franchise a bit more fondly.  But I and I think a lot of other sports fans don't accept conference finals appearances.  We want championships, and losing in the conference finals just means you're still a loser, you just lost later than other teams.  I'm for goddamn sure not accepting participation ribbons and atta-boys -- I want results.  So no, I understand this is a good team, but right I want to feel my feelings, and I am not going to disagree with the guy who said the Timberwolves are a trash team.  Because they're about to lose to a team that stole its team from Seattle.

I'll write more (and this squad's post mortem) in next Week's WMNSS.

Go Ahead And Take The Shower, Mr. Insect

On Sunday I was using my bathroom to shower when the thing I thought was a speck of dust started moving.  The damn thing was fighting for its life while all I wanted to do was take a damn shower.  So I stopped the water ... and Lord help me, I went downstairs to shower so this thing (which I think was a spider, I never did look closely) could have the bathtub all to itself.  Still can't believe I did such a thing.

Later that night I checked up on it.  It was all lifeless, like it drowned in the water anyway.  And then I checked the bathtub just now.  It's gone.  Its body couldn't have just decomposed and magically went down the drain, so like that damn ant, it's still alive -- and now knows it has the run of the upstairs bathroom.  Might as well give it the whole house, too, bleepin' Christ. ...

Just had a thought: I've been working so many long hours, including while my boss was away, that, assuming he came back to check my timesheets, he may see this as an opportunity to finally ... well, let's say confront me about my hours.

I've come to the conclusion that I have to stay to complete the work.  Measures supposedly were taken to lighten the workload, but with one important but small (when it comes to the workload) difference, it hasn't changed at all.  The main issue, to me, remains that there isn't a second person helping out day after day to take stuff off my plate.  Without that, everything falls on me to do.  That's why I stay late and accrue overtime.  If I don't and leave early, all the stuff I left will be waiting for me the next day, and you can add that to all the other stuff that comes in that next day.  The work accumulates, and if there's only one person doing it, well, that person is doing it.  So, if I don't stay late and do it all that day, I'll have to stay even later and do it all the next day.

I hope my boss understands that, but because my co-workers are apparently superhuman beings who get all their stuff done on time, I am becoming more and more confident he is going to come down on me -- either set new rules, set an ultimatum about ... something, or just yell at me like he has before.  And all because I'm just doing my job to the best of my ability, huh.

I'm Also A Sucker To The Whims Of The Department/Company

Maybe I shouldn't've slept in, because when I woke up, around 11:30, I looked at my phone and saw that my other boss texted me saying that the work is finishing up earlier than anticipated, and I don't have to come in.  Guess I can go back to my original plan of staying in my house all Memorial Day.

Goddammit, why didn't I think this couldn't happen?  Well, maybe last night I thought for, like, one second that they might cancel.  I have been asked to come in and then told not to before.  But was it a possibility in the forefront of my mind?  No, and now I feel stupid because I didn't think this could happen.  Because even though hermetically sealing myself at home was my original plan, once I decided to work, that became the plan, and now that plan is all fucked up, even though I can now go back to my original original plan, you know?

Shit.  I could've used the money.

I'm A Slave To The Dollar

So my other boss on Friday said that overtime was available tomorrow/Monday, aka Memorial Day.  And I don't know if this is federal law or company policy or something they just decided to do only for this occasion, but it's double time.

So yes, even though it's a holiday and I planned to stay at home without even opening my door, I cannot pass up working for twice the amount of money I usually get paid for.  The main thing I am doing for myself is waking up whenever and rolling into work whenever.  I will get my sleep in.  That means that I don't know for how long I plan on working.  It probably will be dictated on what work is there.  But I see myself not wanting to put in a whole eight hours because that is a bit too long to work on a holiday.  Maybe just less than six, so I don't have to punch out and then punch back in for a lunch break.

But I wonder: If there is enough work, could I stay more than eight hours?  If that's the case, once I surpass eight, that would be time-and-a-half on top of double time -- which would be triple time!  Man, should I go for it?  Nah, I probably would catch crap from my bosses.  But it's a cool thought for someone who's a slave to the dollar, isn't it?

What, You Don't Want To Post My Dirty Comments About You?

So, before OnlyFans, I was on this patron site called Patreon.  Have you heard of it?  Any creatives can put up a shingle and ask for monthly contributions in exchange for their creative work.  The more you pay a month, the more and bigger perks you get.  I don't know who or when or how I got hip to this, but I have several people I support, nominally, through Patreon.  A few of them are models whom publish hot naked photos of themselves.

One of them, who I will not name, is a prodigious publisher.  She may be the only travelling model who is using Patreon exclusively and dutifully.  She has regularly posted pictures of her modeling photos, most of them where she's stark naked.  Boy, she luuuuuuuuuuuvs to get naked.  So much so that I don't mind sending her perverted comments.

While her modeling photos are good, I love the times where she isn't putting up photos of herself in various states of undress and she's just blatantly fucking flashing her tits.  I fucking get all goo-goo eyed for that shit.  And I can't help but comment pervertedly.  Hey, she damn well knows what she's doing -- why can't I be honest about my reaction?  I'm not stalking her or anything!

So I go on the Patreon app yesterday/Saturday and see that she uploaded a flashing photo, one of her in her car, just pulling her top down enough to show us her right tit and her exceedingly hard nipple.  A feverish curtain fell in front of my eyes, and I just had to tell her that I felt the urge to, you know, touch myself.  And so I did, in no uncertain terms.  We're all adults here, right?

I checked her photo and the comments a bit later.  I don't see my comment.  And, this is not the first time.  Moreover, I have spoken to her about the idea of "pornography," and whether what she is doing falls under that category.  I thought we had a productive conversation about it ... but that didn't mean I was going to not tell her about any impure thoughts that are conjured up inside of me when I see future images of her in various states of undress.

But it looks as though she ain't into that at all.  So, what now?  On the one hand I'm sure she would rather me not comment like a pervert to her, but on the other hand, I know she wants my money.  Should I continue to leverage that bind she's in by continuing to act like a dirty old man?  Or do I pull back and hope my, uh, moderation will get me back into her good graces, even though that would make me a fake?  Finally, is there a line I could push past that would convince her to block me?

I have a lot of alcohol that I bought a couple weeks ago, but I still haven't even touched it.  I have been out on weekends (that should be a blog post coming soon), but I think that staying late for work so often has taken away time for me to juice the limes and lemons, and then allowing them to sit to break up and get better.  I might get into some other time, but they say that leaving lime and lemon juice to sit actually makes a cocktail taste better.  I believe that, but by the time the juice is ready, it's, like, 5 in the morning.  So I've been too busy to make drinks for myself at home.

I don't have all the time in the world to consume them all.  My parents will be gone around four months, and the first month is dwindling away quick.

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Friday, May 23:

• We need to go back to Saturday, May 17 and Art-A-Whirl.  I finally bought a piece of art -- a small wooden, heart-shaped token with lines on it.  The person who owns the studio in which I bought her token said she designed it with help from some kids in the hospital she works at.  Yes, it's a buck, but I couldn't afford nearly any of the rest of the pieces being sold over the weekend, and I want  feel as though I "participated," you know what I mean?  She also was selling drinks, so I bought this root beer called XXX.  And she was selling it for cheap as well.  The studio owner was really nice.  She even gave me her card that had her contact information.  I e-mailed her, but I don't know if she has e-mailed me back.  Shame.  The token and the root beer cost me only: $3.
• After that I went out to one of the many food trucks surrounding Art-A-Whirl.  I didn't catch this food truck, but I bought elote there.  With tip it set me back: $8.
• Back to Thursday the 1st ... my parents and I were going to have lunch with my niece/their granddaughter.  I bought gift cards for my niece's birthday -- three in total, one I, Mother and Father could each giver her.  Mother thought that wasn't enough, so she suggested we each give her $50 on top of that.  OK, I said, but I thought a clean $50 bill would be better than the $20's and $10 that I had.  She had time to go to the bank, so I gave her money which she took to the bank and converted to one $50 bill, which I then tucked into the pouch along with a gift card that I gave my niece at lunch.  Total, of course: $50.
• We now go allllllllll the way back to Wednesday, April 16 -- I don't know how my day broke down, but I think I first went to Caffetto to work on things.  I bought a Lucky cola, and then I bought a glass bottle of Martinelli's apple juice.  With tip (I think just for the Lucky) I spent: $7.09.
• I think I then went to a house party where I got double-teamed by *****y and *****y.  *****y started kicking my dick through my underwear, then shoved her left tit into my mouth so hard and so long that I was starting to choke.  I wanted to bite her boob hard -- partly to stop her from suffocating me, partly because I wanted to!  While all that was happening, *****y finally pulled down my underwear to finally start jerking me off.  I keep replaying that moment in my head.  It's that image that makes me think that at least *****y was into giving me an HJ, and I find that totally sexy.  Funny enough, by the way, I don't think *****y ever touched my cock, and in fact, in all the times I have gotten naked with her, I don't know if she ever has masturbated me.  Huh.  I could be wrong about this, but I think I paid both the amount of: $240.
• Finally, back on April Fools' Day, I went to the University of Minnesota to do an experiment for the first time in years.  It was a two-part research study.  First, there was a survey asking me the factors which would lead me to go to the post office to return a damaged product.  Then, I was given an (intentionally) broken set of headphones and an envelope with free postage.  It was up to me to go to the post office and send it back.  I guess the researchers were wondering whether I would spend the time and expend the energy to do all that.  I did, the next day.  However, I had the next day off from work.  I had one week to send it back to the researchers.  If I didn't have a day off (including Saturday) to run to the USPS, I wouldn't have sent it back at all.  For all that, I received an Infusion of (OK, I was paid): $20.

Good through May 23.

So I Do I Have Health Insurance I Need To Pay Or Not?

OK, so while I was at work I get a personal e-mail on my work e-mail address.  It tells me that I have an outstanding claim, one that my insurance claim said they have provisionally paid, but I need to upload documents or else I'll have to pay it back.

Damn, this came out of nowhere.  Moreover, I am surprised I'm getting this on my work e-mail -- so much so that I flagged as spam, but the IT department at work said this was legit.  So I took a few minutes to go back onto the insurance website (to the point where I had to change my password because I forgot it -- you know how that goes, right?) and, wouldn't you know it, there was a claim that the company is questioning.  I don't even know what kind of documentation they would need.  I feel stuck, and I'm scared that if I don't respond to them soon, I might be told to pay them back.  And it's a chunk of change I can't necessarily just part with without wondering how I "lost" the money.

So I decided I would look at this again at home.  I might have the documentation on my personal computer, and if not, I would have the time to research exactly what is going on here.  So I get back onto the website ... but the claim I was looking for isn't there.  Moreover, the website looked different than the one I went onto at work.  I wasn't ... phished, was I?  My IT department said this is legit, so is there some other explanation?  I need to reach out to the insurance company, but this is kind of weird, man.

Stuff I Donated To Goodwill Yesterday/Wednesday

• Black bedsheet, has a huge tear in it after I scraped my foot against it.  Either the skin on my feet are really dry and cracked, or Target makes crappy bedsheets.
• Beige bedsheet, has a huge tear in it after I scraped my foot against it.  Either the skin on my feet are really dry and cracked, or Target makes crappy bedsheets.
• Pair of gray socks, both of which has holes in them that are so big I could not overlook them bothering me.  (Weird thing is, neither sock has that hole on the heel, where I usually create holes in my socks.  One of them is at the toe, and the other one, surprisingly, is up above the ankle.  That hole probably got created while it was in the dryer.)
• Yellow hoodie from Abercrombie & Fitch (given to me as a gift from either my sister or my family including my sister) ... it has two gray ... uh, guides running parallel to both sides of the zipper, and the one running opposite that zipper tore and is now hanging loose.  Guess I could tear the whole thing off, but I am not into tearing parts of clothing off.
• Long underwear bottom, from ClimateSmart, which I bought through Amazon, I'm sure.  It has a black waistband and then has thin white and gray horizontal lines.  Its elastic waistband is no longer elastic.
• Pajama bottoms from Croft & Barrow (the name tag reads "Croft&Barrow," for some reason) that I'm sure my parents bought for me.  Pattern of blue and black squares, with white hashes (that are diagonal) making more squares on top of those blue and black squares.  Its elastic waistband is no longer elastic.
• Christmas-themed pajama bottoms from Lauren Conrad, which I'm sure was a Christmas gift from my family.  One end of the damned red drawstring is lodged inside the waistband (this probably happened while, well, it was drying).  I have tried pulling out the whole drawstring because I have this tool that helps me re-string drawstrings, but that caught end isn't coming out.  I have scrunched up the waistband and thus the pajama bottoms, and I still can't dislodge it.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Lynx (New Season!!).  Oftentimes over the past 15 Years or so, it has been the Lynx that has redeemed local sports.  And, although it's an extremely small sample size, they appear to be in the same form they were when they reached the WNBA Finals (and got fucked by everybody just so The New York Liberty could win their first title in franchise history), starting the season 2-0 with easy victories over The Bastard Detroit Shock (and hometown legend Paige Bueckers) in Dallas and at Los Angeles.  And they're doing it with Kayla McBride coming in late and Dorka Juhasz sitting out the season after playing internationally.

Bueckers comes home tonight/Wednesday night as the Wings are the opponent for the Lynx's home opener.  It's the start of a three-Game homestand that comprises the whole screening Week; Connecticut plays here Friday, Seattle Tuesday.

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -1).  All good things must come to an end.  The Bastard Seattle Pilots ended the Twins' winning streak by avoiding a sweep Sunday in Milwaukee, 5-2.  Still, Minnesota managed to reach 13 Wins in a row, going 4-1 for the Week including sweeping a three-Game series in Baltimore (the first two in a Doubleheader necessitated by a rainout) that ultimately cost Brandon Hyde his job as the Orioles' Manager.  And, they set a franchise record for consecutive shutout Innings with 34.

That hot streak has paid some dividends, even though it wasn't the cure-all we all want it to be.  As of press time, believe it or not, if the season ended today, they would not only be in the playoffs, but host the Wild Card Series versus Cleveland.  But while they have vaulted from fourth place in the A. L. Central to second, they are five Games behind Detroit, who has The Best Record In The Majors.  I wonder if the Division is already lost.

They already should have started a three-Game series at home against the Guardians, but it's been raining steadily, and then biblically, Monday and last/Tuesday night.  They got through one, maybe two Innings on Monday, and they haven't been on the field since.  We are supposed to have scattered showers today/Wednesday, but Cleveland only has to travel to Detroit for their next series, so it's possible they can squeeze in two Games.  The Twins' next series is against Kansas City, and they'll be here over the weekend.  After that, they will travel to the Yankees' minor league complex and play "at" The Tampa Bay Rays for a three-Game set beginning Monday.

#-3: United FC (Last Week: 0).  Major League Soccer, if I am correct, hadn't had midweek Games since the start of the season until this screening Week.  Last Wednesday was the Loons' first midweek Match since they started the season at The Los Angeles Galaxy.  They lost that Game ... and they lost Wednesday's Match, at Houston, 2-0.  Eric Ramsay decided to heavily rotate for this tilt vs. the Dynamo; I saw only two guys, Will Trapp and Jefferson Diaz, who I believe regularly start for MNUFC starting this contest.  Ramsay eventually exhausted all of his subs; he used four around the 65th Minute and put in his regulars, but that was when Houston was up 1-0 (Pablo Ortiz scored a Minute into First Half Stoppage Time), and they added a second Goal in the 77th.

Still, it's only the third Loss United FC has suffered in all competitions in 2025.  And, they came back from that sound defeat to crush St. Louis at Allianz Saturday, 3-0.  City is a bad side, but it is uncommon for me to see this club thoroughly dominate like they did.  It's a long season, but I've gotta say, this is a good team.

The Loons play St. Louis twice in a span of five Days; tonight/Wednesday night, they (or some other players who may not have played here on Saturday) play again at Midway, this time in U. S. Open Cup play.  They then return to league action as they host Austin Saturday night.

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  OK, so I should look on the bright side and note that they crushed The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors in five Games, especially considering that many pundits (including yours truly) thought they would win.  Of course, no one could foresee Stephen Curry being injured for the series after the First Quarter of Game 1 and change, but still, this is now back-to-back Western Conference Finals appearances for The Minnesota Timberwolves, the first time The Minnesota Timberwolves have ever done that.

And hey, it is just Game 1.  They dropped it like it was hot last/Tuesday night vs. The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics, but they looked awful against the Warriors in Game 1 and they came back to rip off four in a row to take the last series, so why can't they do it again?  Seriously, the Wolves were at this stage last Year and lost, and there is credence to the theory that you have to walk before you can run.  Has OKC done that yet?  No.

Ah, fuck it, they're going to get swept.  They had a four-Point lead going into Halftime and then got blown out in the Second Half, 70-40.  I had plans to see them for Game 4 Memorial Night at that brewery I went to for the previous series, but only if they were up at least two Games to one.  That ain't happening.  Man, to lose to a city that stole its team from the good people of Seattle. ...

#-Infinity: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -2).  Welp, at least they won the final series of the season, at Michigan St. (they dropped the season finale Saturday, 11-10).  In Ty McDevitt's first Year as Head Coach, the U. finished 24-28 overall and a woeful 10-20 in the Big Ten.  As I always say, a HC deserves a mulligan for his or her first season.  But this program has been in the doldrums since the pandemic, and while it sometimes seems like the pandemic was yesterday, it was five Years ago.  You're in the B1G -- you've got enough money to turn things around.

It's Getting Difficult To Donate Stuff

So I have another round of clothes (and, now, two bedsheets) I want to recycle.  I have heard that Goodwill probably won't take the stuff I want to donate, so I was looking around if there are places that take, uh, less-than-usable stuff.

Looking around the Internet, I see this website where they just place a huge bin in some parking lot somewhere, and you can just toss in your clothes (your shoes too) and it's supposed to go to a good place, or they can be used or sold for something good, or something like that.  That's when I vaguely remembered seeing a bin or two close to home.  Shoot, why don't I just throw this stuff in there?  Easy!

So on Sunday I went to my storage unit to grab all my old clothes and bedsheet -- if I kept them here, my parents probably would throw them away, and that doesn't sit right with me -- to take the places I knew these bins were.  Well, one place is close to the mall nearby, but damned if a travelling carnival set up shop there.  So many cars, and so I had no time to park for the two minutes I thought I needed to toss in all my stuff into the bin, so that was a no-go.  I drove home past my high school, where I thought another bin was, but I didn't see one.  I swear one was there. ...

I tried again yesterday/Monday, and this time I had my second, other bedsheet (which I washed Sunday night) to take to donate with my other stuff.  The carnival closed up shop (although it didn't leave town; I think it's setting up again for the long holiday weekend), so I had all this space to just walk up with my bag and throw it in the bins, of which I noticed there were three.

But dammit again; the bins were completely full!  I saw huge bags filled presumably with clothes that overwhelmed the bins.  The chute doors were wedged open because they were all stuffed with bags.  I literally had no space to shove my stuff in anywhere.  It would fall to the ground, and that's considered dumping; if a police car drove by as I walked away from the mess I made, I would be cited.  So I couldn't leave my stuff there.

Now I don't know what to do.  I guess my plan is to just go to the Goodwill tomorrow/Wednesday on my way to the MNUFC Match and have them take my stuff, even though they probably don't want it.  But hell, I don't want it, either, not anymore.  In fact, looking at the grand scheme of things, it appears as though a lot of people don't want a lot of their stuff.  But what happens if the people who say they'll take the stuff other people don't want ... well, basically don't take that stuff?  Yeah, I'm getting the feeling the organization that set up these bins isn't well run.  But that's just me.

I Miss Soccer Goals

So a pretty important Liga MX playoff Semifinal was on last/Sunday night between two of the big clubs in that league, Club America and Cruz Azul.  I came home in time to catch most of the Second Half.  When I tuned in, Cruz Azul was up 1-0.  That's important because, for this league at this stage of their postseason, they have the two squads play a home-and-home.  The most Goals scored in aggregate wins the series.  (When I started watching, that 1-0 scoreline was also the aggregate score; the two XI's finished scoreless in their first Match mid-week.)  If the two teams score the same number of Goals, the team that finished higher in the regular season (who is always the team that hosts the second Game of this two-Leg series) advances.

Hell of a Match, by the way.  Cruz Azul scores again to go up, on the road, 2-0 and 2-0 on aggregate.  But America was awarded a Penalty Kick, which they slotted.  Then, a header to a header went top shelf.  Club America tied it, but they went ahead because they got more Points than sworn rival Cruz Azul during the regular season.  That's how the Match ended, and that is how America advanced to the two-legged Final this Week against Toluca.

Oh, did I mention that I missed that Game-tying/series-winning Goal?  I like soccer, I really do.  If I didn't, I wouldn't be a season-ticketholder for MNUFC.  Hell, yesterday/Sunday afternoon I went to see a Match with the Loons' reserve squad, MNUFC2, for the first time ever.  They lost, but the 2's play about ten minutes north of me, and everything is obviously cheaper because this is minor league soccer, so I should go to a few Games over the summer.  Anyway, I like it.  But sometimes, the sport gets a little, you know, boring.

I should blog post at some point about me being addicted to social media and my phone.  Anyway, during a slow spot in the Match, I naturally picked up my cell and went through my Facebook.  I saw that a Playboy Playmate I am Facebook friends with put up a video of her son graduating from college.  I then wanted to know what last name he took.  He has the same last name as his mother, which is the name she used when she posed, which (and I hope my logic is sound here) she never married the person with whom she has her child, and in fact neither she nor the son have much contact with the son's biological father.  I find that intently interesting, and no, I am under no illusions I will ever meet her.

So while I was thinking about all that, America scored that Match-tying/series-winning Goal.  It is not the first time I was looking at my phone when I missed a Goal, let alone an important one such as that.  But I hate it.  And I keep telling myself I will watch a Match straight through, without distracting myself, and I keep failing.  But dammit, I will not look at my cell for both Legs of the Final (if Thursday's First Leg is not broadcast on Univision, then definitely Sunday night's Second Leg).  If I hate missing soccer Goals, I have to stop doing the things that make me miss soccer Goals, you know?

Drank Three Ciders

Yep, drank three ciders yesterday/Saturday -- one from Sociable, one from Wild State, and Loon Juice.  I don't know if I've said this here on WAF, but I like ciders a hell of a lot more than beers.  Guess that makes me a lightweight or a pussy or not a man.  But I prefer to have some sweetness with my alcohol.  I like sweetness with most things.

That's all I've got to say.

Thanks For The Help, But ...

I was stuck in The Third Department since Wednesday.  But a funny thing happened Thursday and Friday: My co-worker, who was in The Fourth Department, asked if she could help.  I gladly took her up on her offer.  And she did very well, and I thanked her for helping me, because I am glad she took some of my work, and therefore I am genuinely thankful.

But her asking if I need help is is a bad thing.  Now, the reason it's a bad thing is not about alleviating the stress of my workload, even though it definitely did.  No, the reason this is a bad thing is because this makes me look bad.  We both take turns being the only person working The Fourth Department.  So, then, how is it that I routinely slog through getting the work done while she appears to have gone through it so fast that she is doing some of my work?  Is she cutting corners?  Is she not communicating with clients, or not documenting the correspondence with them?  (E-mails, I have learned, is time-consuming to make and to send.)

Or, is she able to get through the work fast and, more important, I get through the work slow?  Don't tell her, but I am secretly jealous, possibly to the point of annoyance, that it looks as though she is able to easily do the job while I struggle.  Now, I want to do the work the way I do it, and I will not change unless ordered to (and even then I may not).  But doing things my way illustrates a difference in approach to working The Fourth Department that is clearly laid out when it comes to our timesheets, specifically when each of us leave for the day.  I have put in ten hours per day in The Fourth Department with some regularity.  Not only has my co-worker not done so regularly, she may be getting out at eight hours, which I find fucking impossible to do.  And I know my boss has noticed that difference between the two of us.

So if she continues to ask, from her place in The Fourth Department, if I need help in The Third Department, that will remind me how quickly she gets done compared to me.  I can't help but think that, and it's a thought I would rather not have, especially when in the middle of doing the work that evidently takes me hours to do when she can do it in, like, seconds.  I wonder if I will pay for this contrast with my job.

Belt Broke

It's been really wearing for some time.  Naturally, I use only one notch.  It's not as if the size of my belly fluctuates wildly, even though I often think it does.  But because it does, I've been really using up that notch.  The area around that hole has gotten really, really torn up.

Still, I didn't think anything drastic would happen like it did at work yesterday/Friday.  I was using the bathroom on my lunch break, I was undoing my belt, and as I was pulling the end of the belt away from the, er, notching thingy, the end tore off.  I was holding the end of it in my hands.  Damn.

I made it through the end of the day, which included eating and drinking at Sociable and walking to Art-A-Whirl, both while in a steady downpour.  I just kept wearing the part of the belt that still was in the loops.  It sure as heck wasn't holding anything up.  Moreover, I'm wearing khakis whose button popped off because I'm so fat.  But the pants held up without any assistance.  I am very lucky.  But now I need to ... well, first I need to find new pants that have a button, but then I need to buy a new belt.  But where can I buy one that won't break off like this one does?  Belts are meant to be cinched, and cinching creates tears in the belt.  At some point it's going to tear, won't it?  Well, then again, I had this belt for barely two years, I think.  I need to find one that will last at least a little bit longer.

The Last Of The Leftovers

Last/Thursday night, after I came home from yet another late night at work, I ate the last three pieces of Kentucky Fried Chicken my parents bought more than two weeks ago.  (I'm alive and I think I'm not sick, by the way.)  With that, I think I have gone through all the leftovers my folks left for me in the refrigerator before they left.  My biggest priorities, obviously, were the items most perishable, so I took care of the milk, then the banana (the last of which I threw into a smoothie), then the rice, and finally the lettuce (which was more than I thought it would be; I had a salad two separate days).  There was less-perishable stuff, too, vegetables and the like, and I was able to find the time and the stomach to eat them as well.

If my parents found out it took about ten days to go through it all, they would probably be disappointed in me, so don't tell them.  See, I'm glad I got through them that quickly.  Now, there is food in the freezer, but I can take them, thaw them in the fridge, and eat them at my leisure.  Pressure to eat them before they spoil is, of course, non-existent (even though, to be completely transparent, there was a piece of bread I didn't get around to; I was going to eat it, but I saw spots of mold on it, and I didn't want to risk just throwing away the moldy parts, so I chucked it all, but don't worry, it was just a small-ish end piece).  The only pressure, actually, is to eat it all.  Mother went crazy and stored all these pastries in the freezer.  There are literally dozens of them.  She bagged them into groups of five thinking I would take out a bag Sunday, then take one pastry with me each day I go to work.  What she doesn't know is that I will instead eat two, maybe three of them at a time as dinner on days I don't want to spend cash.  Hey, it's my decision and they can't stop me!

Stayed till 7:30 at work yesterday/Wednesday.  I gave myself till 8; if I wasn't done with work by then, I would leave it because I needed to watch The Amazing Race.  Didn't need that much cushion, but it was close.

Because the season finale of TAR starts at 8 tonight, I will give myself till 7:30 before leaving everything and going.  I might have to use all of it, though; I am in The Third Department, and I got a glance at all the stuff my colleague left for me.  It's a lot.  Like, a lot.  Too much, actually.  I will be behind the 8-ball as soon as I sit down, and I don't know if I will get to the stuff that rolls in ... at all.

I'll be honest and say I was getting pretty anxious as I wound down my day.  But I insist that I have to do all the work before I leave.  If I don't, either I will have to stay extra the next day or, in this case, someone else will have to do the work I leave them, and that doesn't seem right, either.

Then again, I wonder how my boss is going to feel for me working 10 1/2 hours again.  Well, he's not here right now, but when he comes back from vacation, there might be hell to pay.  Well, might as well make hay while the sun's shining.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Timberwolves (Last Week: -1).  I don't remember the last time a WMNSS has been so competitive.  All but the team on the bottom of this Week's survey went undefeated.  In fact, since Thursday, all the state's pro sports teams (if you include the PWHL's Frost, which I don't because the league's a parasite and the team's a bunch of backstabbers) are 10-0.  I don't think that's ever happened before in survey history.

So, with the top three teams dominating, I didn't have any good reason to change the order from last screening Week.  Therefore, the Timberwolves, who have righted themselves after a Game 1 Loss at home, remain on top and also rise above negative numbers.  The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors managed to win last Wednesday even though Stephen Curry got hurt in the First Half, but they haven't been able to repeat that feat against a deeper, more balanced, and healthier Wolves squad.  I finally went out to Falling Knife Monday to see Game 4 at the craft brewery's parking lot.  All of us fans were cheering and howling as the Second Half adjustments Chris Finch applied energized his club with a decisive 39-17 Third Quarter that took Minnesota from down two at Halftime to up 20.  Chase Center felt like a morgue, and even though Golden State's scrubs managed to cut the margin of defeat to seven (117-110), the arena was half-empty well before the final horn.

Gotta note that Julius Randle has shaken his ill-fitting play in the regular season to star in this series.  When Karl-Anthony Towns was traded away Randle was seen as a guy who can create his own Offense, and thus give the T-Wolves and outlet to score when the rest of the team got bogged down.  He is doing it this series; in Game 3 on Saturday, he became only the second person to notch a Triple Double in the postseason.  (Kevin Garnett is the only other Timberwolf to have pulled it off, and he did it twice.)  Randle is able to make something happen out of broken plays, and that is something that might be needed -- assuming the Wolves finish the series off tonight at home -- against either a Bastard SuperSonics squad that is athletic and can bomb the shit out of you, or a Nuggets club that is hellbent on revenge.  Oh, by the way, I don't think this organization has won a playoff series at home since the "MV3" of KG, Sam Cassell and Latrell Sprewell did it vs. The Bastard Cincinnati Royals/Kansas City-Omaha Kings in 2004.

#0: United FC (Last Week: -2).  It may be the most notable Major League Soccer Match Minnesota United FC has ever played, and it may be the most impressive Win in recent memory.  Hosting Lionel Messi, Jordi Alba, Sergio Busquets and a star-studded though not quite in-form Inter Miami side Saturday afternoon, the Loons delivered the Herons their worst-ever defeat since the GOAT donned the pink and blue, humbling them 4-1.  I was able to see the Match, and it was best of both worlds: I got to see Messi score (off a broken play in a time of the Game where MNUFC just could not clear their box), and I got to see my Loons kick ass!

I can't quite point out what has changed from last season that has gotten this XI into second place in the West, but there has been balanced scoring and a lot of people are getting into the action.  Now, can they keep it going for a busy Week as they play in Houston tonight/Wednesday night and then host St. Louis (for the first of two matchups in St. Paul over five Days) Saturday night?

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -3).  Don't look now, but ever since the local fanbase wrote these guys off, the Twins have stormed back with a vengeance.  They went a perfect 5-0 for the screening Week, finishing off home sweeps of The Bastard St. Louis Browns and The Bastard New York Giants.  They have won eight in a row to finally nose above .500 ... even though they remain mired in fourth place in the AL Central.

All credit for this current amazing run of form to the starting pitching, which has limited their opponents to a total of 17 Runs during this winning streak.  They hope to continue winning as they are in Baltimore for three Games (they were supposed to play last/Tuesday night but were rained out, so they are playing a traditional Doubleheader today/Wednesday where the second Game is being played 30 Minutes after the end of the first), travel to Milwaukee for three over the weekend, then come home to play versus Cleveland for a trio beginning Monday.

#-2: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -4).  Finally, we get to the local sports team that flat-out struggled this past Week.  They came in to the weekend's home series against Maryland with an outside shot of snagging one of the last spots for the B1G tournament.  Alas, they got swept and were thus eliminated.  In fact, they are now next-to-last in the conference.  Oh, well -- this is Ty McDevitt's first Year helming the club.  This is his mulligan.  But results have to come, because this program has been downtrodden for far too long.

The High Of The Timberwolves, The Low Of Taco Bell, The Consistency Of Nature Calling

So I went out to a brewery that began to show Timberwolves playoff Games outside on their parking lot, and it has gotten a huge following.  There were about 150 people who saw the Wolves erupt in the Third Quarter to beat The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors and take a 3-1 lead in their Western Conference Semifinals series.  Awesome!

So, what do I do when I want to celebrate?  I eat!  Even though I had to slices of pizza at the brewery, I picked up Taco Bell.  And I ate it.  And I feel like I need to evacuate my bowels for the second time tonight, this after evacuating my bowels at work yesterday/Monday morning.  (For the record, I went to McDonald's and spent points that were about to expire June 1 on a sausage burrito.  Never before has that triggered my excretory system, but Sunday night I ate rice and lettuce that's been sitting in the fridge for more than a week.  Some combination of those foods contributed to my time in the bathroom at work, just as Taco Bell is doing the same right now.)  I need to go to bed, but I don't think my excretory system will let me.

Oh, and this came after I had a pretty crappy customer service experience at the TB drive-thru.  I waited at the window for five minutes as the server was looking at a tablet and punching keys into the cash register.  After that, she just shoved a bag in my face.  No "sorry to keep you waiting," no "here you go."  Complete silence.  I don't apologize for being big on manners, and that was, well rude.  I was better off not getting Taco Bell tonight -- for that and for, well, me needing to go to the bathroom again.

Great, Now The Ant Is Going To Kill Me Because I Can't Kill The Ant

So I finally got around to washing my dishes when I saw a big ant trying to swim and/or not drown in the water in a dirty dish I hadn't yet cleaned.  (Mental note: Wash dishes more often.)  I stared at it as it was thrashing to and fro, deciding what to do.  It's a big ant, and I'm scared that if it doesn't die -- or if I don't kill it -- it'll summon other big ants to God knows where.

I finally decided to show it some mercy by pouring the water out of the dish.  But just as I did it, the ant curled into a ball and just stayed there.  Guess it drowned or its lungs burst from all the water (do ants have lungs?) so I used my sponge to scrape it into the garbage.

I'm trying to finish the rest of the dishes when, just to make sure, I look back into the garbage can.  And goddamn, I see that ant is alive, looking at a way to get out of the garbage.  I need to kill it, but with what?  I decided to get the broom from the pantry and shove it into the garbage can.  (For the record, I had just changed bags.  The only thing I put into it is the wrapping from a Chobani yogurt cup.)  I jam that broom hard, really hard, all over the bag ... but the ant is still alive.  I should have just put my foot through the garbage can, and the ant, but I'm too scared to kill that way.

The next step is bug spray.  I go downstairs, find one Father bought that works on fleas (we don't have fleas, he probably got it on sale), and I spray the entire plastic bag inside the garbage can with that fucking spray.  Guess what?  It's still alive.  I'm dealing with the fucking Terminator ant here.  And now the house has that sickly fragrant smell of bug spray wafting all over.  I had to open the windows and turn on the stove vent just to ventilate the smell.

At this point I don't know what to do.  I decide fuck it, I know there's nothing in it except a Chobani wrapper and the ant, but I'm chucking this into the garbage bin outside.  So I unlock the door, open the lid, and slide out the empty plastic bag into the bin.

I know that infernal fucking thing is still alive.  I threw in a garbage bag full of things that big ant can subsist on, like a banana peel.  He'll get strong from that peel, manage to climb up the side of the bin, get out, find his way back inside, come up to my room, and kill me.  He'll fucking kill me because I was too chickenshit scared to kill it.

Goddammit, what I didn't I just crush that fucking thing with my bare hands when I had the chance?!

First Time Working The Yard This Year

Just spent almost two hours working the yard.  Thought it would be just mowing, but before he left Father showed me this week puller, so I started off pulling the dandelions out of the front and back yards.  So I spent a lot of time outside, more than I thought.  I eschewed putting on sunscreen because I am going to snuggle into bed soon, but maybe I should've put some one.

Oh, and I'm tired.  Also, I'm kind of smelly.  It's hot out, but I'm glad the air is dry and not humid.  That would be a killer.  And, I think I missed a line of grass in the backyard.  That bothers me, but not enough to take out the lawnmower and take care of it.  I'll just see this weird line of grass longer than the rest of the yard before I mow back there again.

I think I need a nap.

The Bottomless Fungal Spray

This afternoon I used fungal spray on my itchy feet before I left for the MNUFC Match and, later, dinkin' around on my computer at Caffetto.  I have had this spray bottle, which I bought from Target, and I'm not joking, close to a decade ago.  I don't use it daily or anything, but when my feet itch, I use it, and I have used it enough over the years that it should be empty by now.  But it's not.  And it doesn't feel as though I'm anywhere close to using it up.

The bottle is freakin' bottomless, is what I'm sayin'.

The Grunts Are Complicit, Too

I should devote more time, thought and words to this blog post, but this is about a subject so above my expertise that the more I think about it, the more tongue-tied I get, so I'll admit my naiveté and make this relative short.

Through all these kidnappings off the street (by the way, I still can't get used to "disappeared" as a verb), one thing I haven't heard is the people who are doing these drive-by kidnappings.  Trump and Stephen Miller are giving the orders, but someone is carrying them out.  They are on its face immoral, and you probably can make the case that they are illegal, especially if you are taking United States citizens.  But from what I hear, these, uh, nabbings are continuing.

So who are these people?  And, more importantly, how can they justify just taking people, nearly all of whom are surprised, a few of them crying kids being ripped away from their parents, from their lives?  "Just following orders?"  I think the Nuremburg Trials has said that's not an excuse.  Are they racist?  There was a report during The Clinton Era that put out a huge report that white supremacists are infiltrating law enforcement agencies in all levels, federal, state and local, but Republicans shouted the administration into withdrawing that report -- which, it looks now, is a huge mistake for our country.

Or, are these ICE (and, I think, shockingly, the once-staid FBI) agents doing this because they are in thrall of Trump, or the Republican party?  If a Democrat were in charge, and she or her ordered ICE & FBI agents to grab this person or that person off the street and ship them out without due process, would they do it?  The more I think about that, the more I believe that they won't.  They'll say it is against the spirit of the Constitution.

These people doing the grunt work have to be brought to justice, too.  Remember that.

You know, after another exhausting, ridiculous phone call with My Fucking Mother about some phone call she needs me to take on behalf of My Father, I know, more than ever, she fucking ruined me from any normal relationship with a woman.  Goddamn, the hectoring and the smothering and all the goddamn stupid questions. ...

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: April 2025

Since I had this calendar in my drawer for the whole month, and now that my parents are away, I thought I would hang it back up on my wall, but put it up for April.  I want to look at it in passing at least for several days just to take in the (I think this is the minimum) ten babes.  And you know, I think I really, really like this month.  These are gorgeous waitresses gorgeously shot.  I made the right decision hanging this up for last month.

With respect to the others, I am singling out six of the ten.  April '25 is that strong.  And I have two of my principles clashing with each other, meaning that I have a choice to make.  But I will work my way up to that decision.

In sixth place is Brianna, of Clearwater, Fla.  She has long blonde hair with dark roots, and she is wearing a light blue two-piece.  The bikini bottom is tied together, and there apparently is a lot of string because the tied loops are frickin' huge.  She looks like she's posed between two narrow tree trunks that are suspiciously close together, she is turned to her side, and her right hand is touching the tree trunk to the right.  The more I look at the details of the photograph, the more I hate it.  But she is cute, and she's got a beaming smile that makes up for it.

In fifth place is Iliana, hailing from North Tampa, Fla.  Very long (it goes down to belly button level), dark brown and wavy hair, she's sporting a very light pink two-piece bikini.  I notice that she's not smiling so much as she's pouting.  I also notice that she's acting as if she's clutching the bottom of her bikini bottom, but I don't think she's grabbed any fabric.  It almost looks as if she's balling up her fists, which is weird to see in a Hooters calendar photo.  But she is posing direct to the camera, and she is showing off her obviously fake titties.  I like it.

In fourth place is The Main Girl, Giselle, out of Mesa, Ariz.  Long blonde hair with dark roots, a two-piece that's white and bordered in light purple.  She is posed on her side, and she's balancing her head on her left hand, with her left elbow on a Hooters beach towel.  She has her right hand laying in front of her, and that shows the problem with a model posed on her side -- a lot of her body can get obscured because it is being twisted up to make her look good horizontally.  But she is gorgeous, particularly because she has pale, porcelain skin.  Maybe it's how I feel right now, but I love that.

In third place is Taylor, of Westminster, Colo.  She's sporting a red two-piece bikini, but the most striking thing about her is that she's a redhead.  I get totally hard for redheads, and she has the pale and porcelain skin to match.  That makes her, like, a hardcore redhead.

So now I come to my clashing principles.  In second place is Kaylee, hailing from the Kansas City Speedway.  Brunette hair that reaches to the bottom of her breasts, she's wearing a very light blue two-piece.  She's posed in profile ... but that means we get to check out her bikini bottom, and she's showing some ass, like, a good half of her juicy ass.  Her smile is just the cherry on top.

Now I've said before that if there is a server in a month showing ass, she automatically gets the top spot.  Unfortunately, I decided to break this principle because Allie, out of Lone Tree, Colo. is in this month.  She's got dark blonde hair, she has piercing blue eyes, and she is sporting a red two-piece bikini, even though her top looks more like a sports bra than anything.  I may have never said this principle out loud, but I have vacationed in Denver, gone out to eat at the Lone Tree Hooters, and had a previous calendar signed by Allie of Lone Tree.  And I automatically put up top anyone who has signed my calendar, this year or previous ones.  (This will mean that any Hooters woman from The Mall Of America will get the top spot -- and, foreshadowing here, that will happen sooner than you think.)  Yes, declaring this is a way of acknowledging a "relationship" to that server.  Do I really think Allie from Lone Tree remembers me?  Hell no.  But I remember her, and that's all that matters.  Oh, and she's fucking hot, too.

So congratulations to Allie, who has been in Hooters calendars for years now and is still getting it done.  Congrats also go out to the other five.  As soon as I can, I will masturbate to all of you!!!

I made plans to have a smoothie after work tonight.  But things got so pear-shaped there that, after finishing watching The Amazing Race, and talking to Mother, I threw all the ingredients into the blender -- milk, greek yogurt, cheap knockoff Maraschino cherries, thawed-out frozen fruit and ice -- and started drinking ... and forgot about the banana I planned on putting into the smoothie as well.  I make enough to get about four or five glasses full, and I drank about half of the blender before I realized my oversight.  So I quickly cut up the banana into the other half of the blender, which I plan on drinking Friday.

But I'm still bitter I forgot to put the banana in at the outset.  Damn work -- it's screwing everything up, and yet I can't help but keep working, possibly to the point of jeopardizing keeping my job.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Timberwolves (Last Week: 0).  The good news: They bounced The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers in five Games!  In retrospect, I don't know why I was so down on them.  Those guys had LeBron and Luka and, maybe, Austin Reaves.  The Timberwolves were way deeper than Los Angeles; that was apparent before the series even started.  Not only did they win, they trounced the hell out of them.  So why did I fall into the trap that the Wolves were going to utterly lose?  Well, everyone else fell into that same trap, too, so I'm not the only fool.

Now, the bad news: Last/Tuesday night the T-Wolves began their Western Conference Semifinal series at Target Center vs. The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors, and they lost, 99-88.  Worse than that, Golden State won going away without the services of Stephen Curry, who left midway through Game 1 because of a hamstring.  If the Woofie Dogs can lose to the Warriors this badly without Curry, you can imagine they could get their brains kicked in with Curry playing the entire Game.

What softens the bad news: Every single team in the four series this Round that had home-court advantage to start (the others being The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics, Cleveland and Boston) lost it in Game 1.  (Even worse for the Cavaliers, last/Tuesday night they lost Game 2 at home to Indiana, too.)  There have already been four Games in these NBA Playoffs where the winning side came back from a deficit of at least 20 Points, an all-time record.  So yes, in theory, Minnesota certainly can come back to win this series.  The Warriors have looked vulnerable often in their First Round Win over The Bastard San Diego Rockets.  With that being said: This is a Minnesota sports team, so it might fucking be over already.

Oh, by the way, there is a local craft brewery called Falling Knife that became immensely popular for bringing in a huge outdoor TV that fans could watch on their premises.  I really thought I was going to go there last/Tuesday night for their Game-watching party.  I eventually decided against it: I really wanted to see the season finale of Night Court, which ended about 30 minutes before the start of the Game; I've never been there before so I was afraid I was going to miss the start of the Game if I got lost; and seeing that I would just get there before tip-off at the earliest, I don't know if I would have been able to find a good spot to sit (or, actually, stand; I saw an Instagram reel where every fan brought their own lawn chair), and that doesn't even take into account the beer and possibly food I wanted to have and the long lines that would make me miss the start of the Game.  Also, there was mail that came in for which I need to talk to Mother about.  Well, seeing as they lost, I'm sure glad I skipped that!

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -4).  Now that's a way to bounce back from a humbling defeat at home to a very strong Vancouver Whitecaps squad: By going to Austin and crushing Austin FC, 3-0.  Congratulations go out to Anthony Markanich, who scored his first Goal as a Loon (I think?).  They may be seven Points behind the 'Caps in the West, but they are in second place in the Conference, and they have lost only twice so far in 2025.

Tonight/Wednesday night they have a U. S. Open Cup Match at lower-Division Louisville City FC.  MNUFC might be rotating, because they have most likely The Biggest Game In Franchise History coming to Allianz Field Saturday: Lionel Messi and Inter Miami come to The Nest, the former probably for the first, last, and only time in not just his career but his life.  I've just checked SeatGeek and StubHub.  There is one ticket on the former selling for $203.  After that, you're looking at $250, $260.  I'm so glad I'm a season ticket holder!

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -2).  A 3-3 screening Week.  Started off losing the last two contests of a four-Game series in Cleveland; they would win only the opening Game of that series, which was back on Monday, April 28.  They then dropped the first Game of a weekend trio at Fenway versus The Boston Red Sox (extending their losing streak to four) before taking a pair of one-Run decisions to win the series.  And they finished the Week routing The Bastard St. Louis Browns at Target Field, 9-1, giving the Twins a current three-Game winning streak.

They are playing better as of late, but they're 6 1/2 Games behind Detroit in the Division.  The Tigers, by the way, boast the best record in The American League.  After finishing up with the Orioles, they host The Bastard New York Giants for a three-Game series, then travel to Baltimore for three beginning on Tuesday.

#-4: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -5).  On Wednesday they routed St. Thomas in St. Paul, 11-0.  But then they went to Lincoln and dropped two-of-three to Nebraska, and in their sole Win of the weekend, they had to go to ten Innings before finally besting the Cornhuskers, 6-4.  This weekend they finish up their tilts at Siebert Field with a three-Game set versus Maryland.

#-Infinity (tie): Gopher softball and Wild (Last Week, respectively: -1 and -3).  The Goofer softballers finished their year at home vs. Michigan.  And they won the Friday Game -- shut the Wolverines out, in fact, 4-0, which extended their winning streak to six Games.  But they got mercy-ruled by Michigan on Saturday, 8-0 in five Innings, then got blanked again on the season-capper Sunday, 3-0.  I don't have much more to say about this program right now beyond stating that they finished 2025 5-17 in the Big Ten and 20-30 overall.

Now to the Mild ... I guess they fought valiantly before losing to Team Third Base, The (Las) Vegas Golden Knights in six Games.  But there's a Groundhog Day-quality to seeing this fanbase being as optimistic about this franchise's future when their track record is the very definition of meh.  I heard this stat on KFAN: This is the first organization in The Four Major North American Sports to reach its sport's postseason at least eight out of the previous ten seasons and go out in the First Round in every single postseason.

Everybody is now ready to break free from the yokes of the Zach Parise and Ryan Suter buyouts.  The Mild took a dead cap hit of $14.7 million each of the past two Years, but that will go down to around $1.7 million for 2025-6 before being gone for good.  I guess that's great, but they're still a mediocre team, and I don't know if getting to add $13 million more in salary is a significant upgrade -- not if the first task in the to-do list is locking up Kirill Kaprizov to a long-term contract.  Kaprizov said in his season-ending news conference that he's not worried about getting a contract he thinks he deserves, so that should be good news.  What might be next up is what to do with Marco Rossi.  His move down the lines makes him look like a viable trade piece.  (Just between you and me, I think he has never fully recovered from long COVID.  Trade him to an organization that doesn't believe in that.)

But hey, sign so people and develop your youth, and you might have a viable club one day!  Seriously, though, I still think the fanbase's unwarranted hype over the Mild is due to the fact that they're scared that if they don't support the Wild, they'll get stolen from us like the North Stars were.  And to that I think the thing we need to do is take back the North Stars name, logo, colors and history.  That is when we'll actually get our balls back.  Fucking make it happen, Craig Leipold!

You Know, i Wonder If I'll Just Get Fired One Day

So yesterday/Monday I got to work late because I took my parents to the airport.  Since I got to work two hours late, I had to stay two hours later than I would ... if it were an eight-hour day, which it most certainly is not these days.  I stayed pretty late, but considering how late I started, my overtime was pretty modest compared to the ten-hour-plus days I've been hauling in in weeks past.

I thought the new person was supposed to start today, but I didn't see her/him at where her/his desk would be.  I surmise that she/he is back in human resources getting onboarded, and she/he will be there today/Tuesday or, at the very latest, tomorrow/Wednesday.  Or, this person just flaked and it'll still be the four of us doing everything.

But if there is a new person ... I apologize if I've blog posted about this before, but once this new person is fully trained ... why in the hell couldn't I be fired?  I've been pulling OT money since the New Year, so to a higher-up's eyes I'm just a money drain.  If someone can work faster (and thus cheaper), they obviously would go to that person and cut me loose the first chance they get.  And I still go back to my former co-worker who immediately and mysteriously got let go around summertime.  Why was he let go?  Was it a personality issue?  If not, then it was a work-related issue.  Maybe he wasn't doing his job.  Or ... he was seen as too slow and just racking up the money, thus becoming, to their eyes, a "liability."  I could be wrong about his departure, but unless and until someone tells me the real reason he was let go, I will assume the worst, which was he was fired because the company didn't want to pay him anymore.

Naturally, if the company didn't want to pay him anymore, and I have to stay late and get overtime in order to get my work done, thus getting paid more than others ... and if there are enough people there for the work to get done in some sort of timely manner ... why wouldn't they let me go?

That thought just came across my mind while I was working.  That's all.

Won't Miss/Will Miss/Both

Things I won't miss about my parents:

• Having them tool around the house when I want to tool around the house, usually naked;
• Being asked by them for things, in particular the way Mother asks for me: "Nee hauw, nee hauw!" (that stands for "needs help," if you couldn't decipher that);
• Being force-fed so much food that I have ballooned in weight (even though I probably will balloon in weight if I find food for myself; this is more a complaint that I don't want food forced in me)
• Being force-fed that I have never tried, or even am able to describe;
• The questions about where I'm going, why are you doing this or that, etc.;
• Mother criticizing me -- I haven't really understood how much that has affected my life;

Things I will miss about my parents:

• If something in the house breaks, Father usually can fix it;
• I'll have to do all the chores around the house;
• I now have to worry about the house -- it'll be empty now for a part of the day;
• I now have to worry about my parents' real estate ventures;
• I have to open up all the mail and, if necessary, act on them;
• I need to look at my parents' e-mail in case there's something they will miss now that they're globetrotting again;
• How it'll get too quiet around the house;
• I'll be scared if they get hurt while they're travelling;

Another thing I won't and will miss about my parents that I have to worry about as soon as they leave:

• All the food that they have left me.  I need to quickly triage the foods I need to eat immediately and what can wait.  It looks as though I have to worry about the bananas and the lettuce first, followed by the leftover rice and the egg.  But it'll take weeks to get through everything they have left for me in the fridge that is in danger of spoiling.  And that's not even taking into account all the stuff in the freezer.  Hey, I love them, and I appreciate them leaving all this food for me.  It'll save me money, no doubt.  But I will be spending money today/Monday and tomorrow/Tuesday because the former is Cinco de Mayo and the latter is Game 1 of the Timberwolves in The Western Conference Semifinals vs. The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors.  A-wooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry To Miss You Again, Mr. Cave

Several years ago I signed up for The Red Hand Files, a Q&A mailing list from musician Nick Cave.  The deal is you can ask him anything and, if he wants to answer, he will e-mail everyone on the list his response.  I don't know how I got wind of it and how I decided to sign up, but I'm glad I did.  It is one of the few e-mails I actually read.  His answers have always been profound and sometimes humorous.

I cannot say I'm a huge fan of his music.  When I worked at the radio station, I picked up a free copy of The Boatman's Call, his 1997 album with his longtime band, The Bad Seeds, laying on a table in the break room.  I heard of the guy, but never his work, but I like the album a lot.  I also ushered his show in downtown Minneapolis; his closing song at his concert, "Saint Huck," is a banger.

My appeal for his work hasn't really grown beyond that.  So, I guess I'm more of a fan of his advice column, so to speak, than his music.  But, because of that, I've wanted to go to his concerts, but I continue to miss him.  His previous tour, I want to say, was just after the pandemic, and either I got the heebie-jeebies or I just forgot his was coming over, I missed his show then.  He's back now.  I mean, like, tonight.  But tonight is also the last night my parents are here, and I don't think it's, well, right that I just go out the last night before I leave.

I have one exception, possibly.  We're eating dinner at senior's time, so like, 4.  I am going to check prices on scalper sites.  I checked last night, and there were a couple that was well below face value.  If they are still around by the time I check after I eat ... maybe I'll go.  But it's a late show, and it's a Sunday, and hey, my parents are home, plus I've been able to stay inside all day even though it's a glorious day outside, and I spent $100 to eat at the speakeasy on Friday, so maybe I won't go anyway.  But maybe I will.  Shit, I don't know myself.  Sorry, Mr. Cave.

The Grueling Money Train Is Coming To An End

OK, so the big news coming out of work is that, against all odds (it wasn't looking good for a while), my boss was able to find and hire another person, a fourth person, to work the same position as me and the two others.  And this person starts tomorrow/Monday.

I don't exactly know how this is all going to shake out.  But this will be yet another huge adjustment period, and with all change, I hate it at first, and then I'll get used to it, and then, if I don't necessarily say I like it, I am certain I will forget why and how I hated it.  Don't know how long that process will last, but it always happens.

Right now, I am torn.  As I hugged the co-worker who decided to retire from The Third Department over the holidays before she left work for good, I told her that I don't know how I'm going to do this job.  I still don't.  Not only her expertise but her availability to sop up the vast majority of tasks at that position are sorely missed.  We have had to pick up the slack since, and only one of us is able to do it most days as the other two have to work at another department.  With one person doing the work of 1 1/2 people, the work piled up and, speaking only for myself, the stress level has gone off the charts.  Well, my stress level once did, but then I was just resigned to working ten-plus-hour days just to keep up.  There will be extensive training, and I don't even know if this new person is going to start in The Third Department.  But, eventually, all of that will be over.  My stress level should fall, and I should be able to get home at a decent time.

I have to admit, though, that once my stress turned into resignation, I was extremely, extremely happy to rack up the overtime.  I've been making a damn killing at work.  It's only fair if I am expected to do all this work by myself.  And all that will eventually be gone, too, and I am none too happy about that.  So, one hand giveth and the other taketh away.  What to do?

Too Much Of ... Everything

So I went to my favorite speakeasy last/Friday night, and I had my two drinks and ate my two plates of food, and I was still so hungry that, after I saw that Jimmy John's gave me two bucks off a sandwich, I bought one.  And then I ate it at the parking lot of a local grocery store, but the sandwich had peppers in it or something, so I needed something to wash it down.  I was going to buy a Pepsi, but I didn't think I was going to drink it.  But I did.

And then my body woke me up early this morning to, let's just say, get regular in the bathroom.  And I had to get up to do it again.  So hey, I'm good with my plumbing.  But I guess you can say that drinking makes me hungry, and I did a bit of both.  But honestly, what gives me a real twinge of regret is the bill I got from the speakeasy.  $100?!  Yeah, I like these guys, but I generally have a rule that I don't spend $100 on myself unless I'm having dinner with friends.

So ... cut back on the drinking, cut back on the eating, and cut back on the money.  Got it.  Maybe.

Maybe I Will Get Fired, Maybe I Won't ... ?

So after thinking about it for almost 48 hours, I fired off a reply to my boss' e-mail where he did not like me speaking out about the workload I had kept to myself.  While I initially wanted my response to be fiery and even maybe a little bit defensive, I toned down the comebacks and invited guidance as to why I need to get done before I leave for the day and what I can push off till the next day.

Well, I haven't been fired.  Nor did my boss snap back at me when he replied Wednesday morning.  I get the feeling, however, he doesn't think I completely understood what he was complaining about.  His response was all about asking for help the next time I'm swamped.  I already know that, I was hoping he could tell me which specific tasks must be done and which can wait.  I didn't get that answer, so maybe we're talking at each other and not to each other.

With that being said, my boss hasn't raised that issue since he e-mailed me back.  Maybe I was right to stop and think instead of react viscerally because, like many things that seemed insurmountable at the time, it washes over by the next day.  Maybe he doesn't really think it's that big of a deal.  Maybe he had to e-mail because he was told to.  So, maybe this is nothing, and I can continue to work overtime to stay on top of the work, however slow my boss thinks I am being.

Bad (And Dangerous) Driver: RUK 895

Remember when I asked myself why I don't honk or flash my lights to an asshole who cuts me off?  Yesterday/Wednesday morning is why, goddammit.

This motherfucker does a U-turn onto the right lane.  There is a huge hauler in front of him, so he starts accelerating to get around that hauler ... and in front of me, in the left lane.  I try to accelerate, but goddammit, my car just wasn't fast enough, and this monstrous big black SUV (maybe it's a GMC, I don't know) cuts in front of me.

I still remember what happened last week, so I honk my horn and I flash my lights.  Apparently, this asshole has nothing else to do at 5:30 in the morning, so he starts playing chicken with me, slowing down and changing lanes in front of me.  He finally lets me pass so I can get onto the highway.  I thought I shook him loose because he stayed on the left lane.  But as I exit the cloverleaf, the son-of-a-bitch appears up the on-ramp.  I know he had no reason to get on the highway by the way he was driving.  And as he zoomed past me, I knew he wanted to bait me.  Yeah, I dropped the issue.  I got him driving where he didn't want to, so I was in his head as much as he is in mine.  He went way down the highway, and I took the next exit.

And I hope that's the end of it, but I don't know.  I got his license plate, but because he got behind me, I'm sure he's got mine.  I didn't get a look at him, though, because that only pisses road rage drivers even more.  This goes beyond annoying and into dangerous.  I admit that I was scared driving home, and am scared that he's looking for me, not just today but for the next few days, at least.  (I'm paranoid enough to think he's already looked up my license plate and knows where I live.)  I'll drive a different route for the next week or so, just in case.

Moreover, though, I am disappointed with my car.  I really thought it would accelerate when I asked it to, but for some damn reason, when I stepped my foot on the gas, it didn't pick up speed.  Did I not press it down all the way, or is my car getting old?  Either way, it's embarrassing.  I know that I swore I wouldn't do stuff like that again, but ... well, I guess I was hoping I could recapture my masculinity on the road when I felt it was threatened.  Maybe more than the possibility that someone might go out of his way to kill me, the takeaway I am taking from this road rage incident is that my car may just be a doddering quasi-jalopy that shouldn't go above 70 miles anymore.

Still, I had to report this prick.  Hey, if this guy tags me on the road, somebody has to know who did it.