Expenses Without Receipt

Starting from July 8:

• The first EWR is Independence Day, aka Saturday the 4th.  I have been in the middle of a State Fair food craving.  I got the craving when other people apparently got a craving and started a Facebook group in order to track pop-up places that have resorted to serve food on parking lots.  I want to patronize the vendors that actually are at the Minnesota State Fair; I want to help them out since the Fair is cancelled, plus I want to have some semblance of the feel of the Fair by eating its food.  (This summer I have been to a couple places that I know are not at the Fair, and I ate them anyway, and I sort of regret that.  Also, the Facebook group should limit its posts only to actual Fair vendors, but many of the posts feature pop-ups that I don't think are at the Fair, just serve "Fair food.")  One of those actual places (I hope) is the Salted Nut Roll place.  I ate its peanut roll, and it was so good that I bought one each of its cashew and pecan rolls, too.  Mother took a few bites of the cashew, and she loved it so much that the next time Salted Nut Roll is around (they were only at this site, in front of the Roseville VFW, on the 4th of July), buy four or five of each.  OK.  I bought one of each, and with tip I spent: $20.
• And I washed it down with a jumbo lemonade at the Cheese-On-A-Stick And Fresh Lemonade pop-up several yards away, also at the VFW.  It was hot that afternoon, so the lemonade went down good.  Cost: $6.
• We then go all the way back to Sunday, June 28, where I went out to a neighborhood block party in the name of George Floyd in south Minneapolis that was partly organized by *****a, one of my stripper girlfriends.  I bought a couple of items, and I also contributed to the neighborhood economy by eating jerk chicken, rice, muffin and water from this place called B&G Kitchen.  Good, although it is weird to eat outdoors.  Total: $14.
• I then drive to Sandcastle, where I saw some ass.  I also went there to eat high-end, uh, beach food; figured I could go there because this neighborhood fest was relatively close to Sandcastle (even though the complexion of the people at both places leads me to believe those two places are worlds apart from each other, if you know what I mean).  Their coney dog is really good.  Was also able to purchase a Crispin and drink it at the beach.  It was really hot out on this day, so I also bought a Coke for the road.  Sandcastle tacked on a convenience fee because I bought so much.  And with tip, the total was: $16.25.
• Saturday the 27th -- a spot I know serves at the Fair is this Scotch Egg place, and they popped up at Maplewood Mall, where they'll be some weekends over the summer.  The Flowering Onion shop is also there, and I should go back to get that, as well as the iced coffee at the Scotch Egg place.  But I purchased the Scotch Eggs, and that cost me: $8.
• On Friday the 26th I got my shoes shined from Lisa.  With tip: $15.
• Thursday, June 25th ... North Star Donuts is a food truck that was at Blue Sun Soda Shop.  This is one of the places that is advertised on the Facebook group but is not at the State Fair.  I haven't been to Blue Sun in some time, however, and Blue Sun is close to home, and this was a separate Facebook invitation, plus a dozen mini-donuts tasted really good ... yeah.  Their sandwich board showed it also offered a lemonade slushie, and I got that to wash down the donuts.  They gave me a paper straw, and paper straws are an abomination to Man.  With tip I spent: $14.
• Wednesday the 24th: I was on a food run after work on this day.  Went to Cheese-On-A-Stick And Fresh Lemonade at the Roseville VFW, where, on three trips encompassing two changes of mind, I bought everything at that place except their Jalapeno Cheese-On-A-Stick.  Used my credit card for the food, but I tipped in cash (hmmm ... didn't see a tip jar when I went there to buy lemonade on July 4th ...), so I spent: $3.
• I then went up Hwy. 10 to Loulou Sweet & Savory, a rolled ice cream place that parked itself in front of, hmmm, a liquor store.  They are also trying to nudge into the aura of "Fair Food," and that's mostly why I stopped there, even though there's no chance they are a vendor at the Fair.  I also used a credit card for the ice cream, which was good, but I also tipped in cash: $1.
• All the way back to Sunday, June 14 ... I went to ******a's to, once again, see if I can unlock her iPad.  It wouldn't completely reset.  This is getting frustrating.  Or, it might be a ploy from her to offer massages ... which are nice.  In fact, even though I am supposed to pay her $40 for 25 Minutes, she gave me one of the twenties back.  Fair enough.  More than fair: $20.
• After ******a I went to the George Floyd Square just to hang.  Around the memorial there are places that are offering food.  They don't charge, but they are asking for donations -- "whatever you can spare."  I had lunch being served by this organization called Another Chance Outreach, and a cold brew Wildflyer Coffee.  Total "donations": $5.
• To Saturday the 13th, where I finally got my car washed for the first time in months (well, besides the time the outside was washed when I went to the dealership to get my oil changed and tires rotated) at Central.  I should talk about this, but my car shield (the thing I open up and hang on the inside of my car so my car doesn't get so fucking hot) is disintegrating, and it's leaving bits of its insides -- I'm guessing asbestos -- all around the inside of my car.  That was all over the interior of my car, so I could breathe a huge sigh of relief once it was totally clean.  Charged the wash, but I used money for the tip: $5.
• Went to the Floyd Memorial after the car wash.  Got a lemonade from Wildflyer Coffee.  Gave a "donation" of: $2.
• Went to Floyd Plaza Sunday the 7th as well.  As I was going into the plaza, I saw a cart for Misfit Coffee which was technically three blocks out of the area.  Gave something at the tip jar for my cold brew.  Then, at the plaza, I lined up to get tacos at this tent outside the Speedway.  Didn't get the name of the organization serving the tacos, but it was good.  "Donated" there.  Total money: $4.
• It was hot, and I wanted to treat myself, so I waited at the drive-thru for DQ to buy and eat a hot fudge sundae.  And this was the first time in a long time when I did not use my credit card for fast food: $3.52.
• To Friday, June 5, where I finally got my hair cut ... outside, at a park, with a teenage couple hanging out at a nearby table nearly the whole 90 Minutes it fucking took ****e* to cut my hair.  (A few other people were walking by and saw us, too.  And I complained about all of this in a previous blog post.)  But she volunteered to cut my hair, and I was afraid of getting my hair cut inside, so I gave her $60 which, she initially insisted, was too much, but I still appreciate what she did for me.  Again, for the hair cut, I gave ****e*: $60.
• After that I fucked ****e: $120.

Good through July 8.

Oh Yeah -- I Haven't Done The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey In A Long Time!

With Minnesota United resuming play as part of the MLS Is Back Tournament this weekend -- assuming the team and the league don't suffer massive hits to the roster due to COVID-19, it would make sense to bring back The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.

I counted the time since I did the last WMNSS: 17 Weeks.  Once I get back to doing the survey next Wednesday, it'll be 17 Weeks since I last did it.  Considering that this type of blog post I have done since I began Wailing And Failing -- wow.

I'll be honest in saying I didn't really miss it.  Sometimes the WMNSS is a yoke that tests my patience in routinely doing the same thing at the same day of the week.  However, that routine also gave me and this blog some structure; I mean, at least I had something to talk about once a week.  Plus, the expectation that I will have the same topic to talk about weekly builds consistency for an audience that will look forward to reading my blog.  Now, I don't think that's happened, so this is still a theory, but the theory is sound enough that I'll keep doing it.

So, beginning next Wednesday, I resume the survey.  I just hope I don't forget to do it.

OK, Now I'm Scared Of How My Body Is Feeling

I am currently ailing from two things right now.

The longer of the ailments is this ache on my left hip.  I think it's a recurrence of my maligned back, which I got when I went on that long roadtrip to see the total eclipse a couple years ago.  A hard sleep in a bad posture probably kinked out my left hip.  I feel it sometimes when I sit in the wrong way, or lay down in the wrong way, but I feel it, and although it's not an unbearable pain, I feel it, and it doesn't go away.  I should go back to those stretching exercises I was taught a couple years ago.  I've been doing them very sporadically since; maybe more diligence will treat it and make it go away.  Yeah, I'll do it ... later.

The other ailment came on strong Sunday, after I took a shit: Constipation.  Well, that plus this ... feeling I get from my perineum, the area between my dick and my asshole, aka my "fumunda" place.  The feeling is like I'm straining to poop and I can't, and I strained a muscle out of place.  OK -- so, a hernia.  It feels as though I'm constipated and have a hernia.  For all I know those are redundant symptoms, but I don't remember ever feeling like this before.

Worst yet, I have never felt this combination of ailments (the left hip ache and constipation) before.  It scares me that it could be COVID-19, even though neither is a symptom of the disease.  It scares me because, I confess, I went out to a bar in St. Paul to watch a National Women's Soccer League match.  There couldn't have been more than, like, six people in there at once, and I don't think I was within six feet of anyone for more than a two Minutes.  But I was in an indoor setting, the ventilation wasn't all that great, and I was there for almost 2 1/2 Hours.  Could I have caught the virus then, and are these feelings I'm feeling a result of it?

Box-Of-Rocks Dumb

There was a stripper party going on last night.  Didn't feel like going.  Parties scare me too much these days.  I will make an exception under the right circumstances, but this one did not have such circumstances.  And then I was texting back-and-forth with the host, and right now, if I don't ever go to one of her parties again, I'd be totally fine with it.

I talked about her once here on Wailing And Failing.  She was hosting a party at a townhome that wasn't hers, even though it belongs to a stripper working that party.  She furtively tried to masturbate me through my pants when I got my first lapper from her, which was good.  Otherwise, she was ... strange.  Overbearing; she kept asking me if I liked her party.  Although her eyes are light blue, they always seem glassy, like it's a symptom that she's not all there, you know?  And sometimes she does not understand the simple questions I'm texting, and she misunderstands in the most annoying, dumbest way.  Once I explicitly asked her what time one of her parties ended.  She said 2.  "So a. m.?" I asked?  "No, 2 p.m." she replied.  I told her I couldn't come to her party because it's in the afternoon.  "No, it starts at 2 and ends at 9."  If you only would have looked at my text. ...

She did it again in the run-up to her party last night, and this time it was sort of the final straw for me.  I told her I would not go to her party because I was still skittish over attending parties with lots of people.  She kept trying to reassure me -- well, she first said that this party has nothing to do with a shooting that took place in the parking lot of the strip club she works at, like I fucking talked about that shit at all -- by saying stuff like, "17 Minutes is not far," and "I'm only letting a few in the house at a time," which made me think that the rest of would just have to wait in their cars or something, which is absurd.

I wasn't going.  That's the bottom line.  So I just shut down and didn't reply to her after she continued to try and convince me her party was safe.  So yesterday, the morning of the party, I texted: "I'm not coming today.  But thank you for the offer."  To which she replied, "I already know."  Bitch, you've been trying to convince me to come to your party for days now!  How do you mean you know when you wouldn't take my reasons not to go for an answer?!  And I got so triggered I had to get in the last word; last night, well after the party would have been over, I sent her an eyeroll emoji.  Because I'm over it, and her.

Right now I just don't have any patience for strippers who are dumb.  And she is box-of-rocks dumb, as stupid as they come, and it's not really close.  I mean, I have stopped talking to strippers who rip me off, and those that manipulate me in order to shake me down for more money.  But I consider them to be petty and juvenile and craven, people who know what they're doing and will go pretty far in order to get what they want from me.  This woman ... like I said, she's as dumb as a box of rocks.  I am just floored that she somehow can function in society, let alone host a party.

Maybe I'll give her a chance when I'm desperate.  But right now, I don't fuckin' need her.

At Some Point She Has To Notice

For the longest time I've been pushing my breaks, especially the morning one, when I get my coffee and use the bathroom, sometimes to poop.  No one is really looking at me, so I come and go as I please, and I usually get back to my seat a Minute after my 15.  Maybe two.  Sometimes three.

Yesterday, during my afternoon break, it was a bit more.  Lately I have been eating the food Father gives me for afternoon break.  I had been going out to my car to take a nap, but I had to be real with myself -- it has been a long time since I've taken a nap in the afternoon, and if I am able to pass out for lunch, I don't feel the need to go back into my car to take another nap.  Besides, I need to eat this food, and I'm busy getting coffee and pooping in the morning, so afternoon break it is.

The food I get is usually a banana.  Yesterday I tried to pace myself a bit, for I knew that I had to go into the lab after break was over.  (Not a whole lot of forms, we usually get done around 2, and break is the perfect time to prepare to go in there.)  It behooved me to finish everything within 15 Minutes because, even though I usually can come and go as I please, I think people would notice if I don't get into the lab in time.  One further complication: My supervisor was working yesterday.  She wasn't supposed to, but my boss who was supposed to come in on this Monday left early.  (COVID-19?)  And it is her desk I pass by on my way back from the bathroom for morning break.  She's a supervisor.  She also may be tracking how long I take to get back from break.  So if she is, I might be on the slacker list already.

So I get done with the banana.  But then I have to wipe down the table.  Then I have to use the bathroom, and I usually go to the one closest to the lab coats I need to wear inside the lab.  And then I ... shoot, I just spaced out.  I wash my hands, grab my coat then realize, oh crap, I'm seven Minutes late!

Did my supe see me?  She's not at her desk, so maybe she didn't notice.  But once I got into the lab, I saw her, training the new person on how to do lab work.  Great.  If she had her eagle eyes on me -- or, come to think of it, if she looked at the paper log and see that I was totally honest and put in the time I entered the lab at seven Minutes after I should have (why didn't I just lie?) -- this would, logically, be the breaking point whereby I cannot extend my breaks any further than I already have.  So, I fear that a warning, or at least a note from my boss, is coming in very short order.

I feel the need to be a good employee and come back from breaks super early, starting today.  But I don't think I can.  I mean, I might have to poop, and you can't rush pooping.

I'm so in trouble.

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: June

A very, very good month for talent.  Of the ten babes featured, there are six that stand out.

I can lump third through sixth together because they are somewhat interchangeable, though all are delectable:

• Ally, out of Pembroke Pines, Fla., has beautiful skin, long black hair, and a Mona Lisa smile, and a light orange two-piece swimsuit.  She's posed during low tide on the shore of a beach, and there's something ... urgggggh, aruosing in the way she arches her back.  The only problem I have is that she is posed in side profile and her left arm is front of most of her body.
• Faith, from Pasadena, Tex., has the most sheepish and thus cutest smile I've seen on a Hooters girl.  And she's holding her neck with her right hand as if she's saying, "Yeah, sorry to bother you, but ..."  She has a tight stomach, too.  The only thing off-putting about her is her bikini: Her top is purple, but she's wearing a white flower print bottom.  It doesn't match.  You would think you would want your bikini to match, wouldn't you?  Maybe that's why she's got such a bashful grin and is holding her neck: She's embarrassed by what she's wearing.
• New York City's Victoria is in orange -- that cropped shirt top that ties in the middle of the cleavage, and a bikini bottom that exposes her smokin' waist.  And I think I can see that her left side boob is lighter in shade than the rest of her body.  Ooh, she tans, and she's showing me a part of her body she doesn't normally show!  Con: While interesting to pose her in the threshold of the door, her arms are cut off, plus her long black hair cascades down the front of her left boob (the one with the pale skin), and I find that distracting.
• Tucson's Jennifer is posed on her side, also on the edge of water, and it's a striking pose.  She's gorgeous too: Almost white hair, porcelain skin, and a blue two-piece.  Unfortunately, her right hand (she's posed on her left side) covers her stomach.  Also, unlike, Ally, Jennifer's hair is not wet.  It's as if she carefully laid herself down so as not to ruin her hair.  Kind of weird.

There are two hot women whose pictures are just about flawless.  In second place is Halie, out of Houma, La.  Full frontal shot (a prerequisite), long brown hair, a two-piece bikini in shocking deep blue, and beautiful brown skin.

But I got to give the award to The Main Girl, Heather, hailing from Atlantic City.  Sporting long blonde hair and a light blue (maybe eggplant) two-piece bikini, she's kneeling on sand near a dune (or she's posed on a staged set with sand, fence and a sign saying "Keep Off The Dunes").  Like Halie, Heather has a hot stomach and is smiling.  I just like Heather's smile more.  So, congratulations to Heather!

And I will enjoy masturbating to these group of women when I have time.

Showing Your Ass On The Beach Is Nudity. There, I Said It.

So last Sunday I went to a lake in Minneapolis, ostensibly to try the walk-up restaurant which is much fancier than one would expect food from a shack next to a lake.  But I sat down close to the beach and noticed all these (non-physically distant, unmasked) people lazing about and so I might as well eat this good hot food then and there and people-watch.

Babes in places.  Fat women in places.  Fat kids in places, too.  (One woman I saw taking her shirt off to show off her two-piece, and the stripping was so good that I remembered it ... and I rubbed one off to that image this morning a little after I woke up.)  And then, near the end of my stay, I saw these three young women trundling by.  Average-looking, but they aroused me.  And as they passed me, I notice their asses, of course ... and I see a whole lot more ass than I expected to see in a public beach anywhere in ... well, not just in Minnesota but any place that's not Haulover Beach or Hedonism.  Now, it wasn't full ass.  It wasn't a thong like I see on strippers.  But the bottom covered, like, half the ass.  (I think they call it the Brazilian cut.)  That is still a lot, and there was a chance that my mouth was agape once I saw these legal age but still-young young women baring booty like that.

And now I was obsessed to see if any other women were showing ass like this.  Not at this beach, but with so many people posting summer beach videos, especially on this holiday, I've had so many opportunities to look surreptitiously and without anybody catching me.  Last night, for example, I was on Twitter and saw a non-socially distant pool party in Michigan -- dumb motherfuckers just want to get this virus, for fuck's sake -- and I was hunting for ass.  And I saw at least one women in a swimsuit that showed her somewhat-flabby butt.  There's another Facebook friend that was showing half-ass, and I gave her an eggplant-and-sweat emoji combination.  With these videos shoved in my face, I just can't help it!

And why can't I help it?  Because showing any ass in public is nudity.  It's not like an arm, or even thigh, or even cleavage.  That's a part of the body that should not be shown in public ... unless you want to strut and be provocative and arouse average men like me, in which case you damn well better know what you're doing when you flash ass -- and if you don't, you should have known.

I'm not being regressive, or a Republican.  I am stating the fact that societal norms are breaking down and thinking mooning people is no big deal is not a good answer.  And again, I'm not saying you can't show ass.  I love a women's ass.  Just know that if you do show ass, don't be surprised if I get the urge to drop my pants and wipe my dick over it, or try to poke you in one of your holes with my hard-on.

Only fair.  Only right.

Dining In A Restaurant -- Yes Or No?

So I told you about my half-day sleep.  I was energized to go do something, but I really wanted to do, and forgive me, is to go out to Brit's Pub and see some EPL.

All week I had gone back and forth on it.  Dining in restaurants, while allowed at limited capacity, contains the indoor condition that favors transmission of the virus.  Also, needing to stay the two hours to take in the soccer Matches invites the time element needed to pick up the coronavirus.  I could counterbalance that with so mitigative measures that might also be there.  Indoor dining is at, what, 50% capacity?  Also, I only go out to Brit's or The Local for EPL Games when there are several of them that kick off at the same time, and usually only when the teams playing are not any of the big ones, because there are local supporters clubs that will go and watch their sides play.  The two Games this morning were Manchester United-Bournemouth and Leicester City-Crystal Palace.  OK, so ManU is a huge club with a big fanbase, including in the Twin Cities.  But, they usually watch their Games at The Local.  But, the The Local is closed, so it's likely that they would go to Brit's.

OK, I might have just undercut the reasons why I would go.

Anyway, I really wanted to go.  And since I got up in time, I would have enough time to get to downtown in time for the kickoff, which was at 9 a.m.  All I would need was for my parents to leave; they are still renovating this real estate property that I assume they are going to sell.  I would not feel comfortable leaving before them; they would ask where am I going, plus I promised Father I would mow the lawn, and of course there is the virus thing.  But if they left early enough, I wouldn't have to worry about those questions.  I'd leave after a certain time, enjoy soccer (while wearing my mask, of course ... well, I would have to take it off to drink and eat, but you know), then come back and mow the lawn well before they came back.

Did they leave in time?  No, not really.  In fact, it was the worst time to leave -- with just enough time for me to think that I could get there in time if I drove really, really fast.  They left a bit past 8:30.  Now, 25 Minutes gives me time, but I would be driving down the same highway they would in order to get to this property, so I would had to have given them five more Minutes' head start, and 20 Minutes to get to downtown, park and walk into an entirely new indoor dining situation was just too much.  I hate it; looking at the schedule there is no other instance to this morning's until Final Sunday/Decision Day, which is July 26.  (There are Games kicking off at noontime at the same time [and once at 2:15] during the workweek, and next Saturday there are Matches at 6:30, and Brit's Pub does not open that early.)  But there were just too many downsides to going late, most importantly breaking my OCD rule that I need to be at a soccer Match in time to see the kickoff.

Why did instead was another thing that I pseudo-promised My Father I'd do: Clean my bedroom.  I actually dusted the top of my desk and blinds, believe it or not; they needed dusting, I can tell you that.  Oh, and I also scrubbed down the tub and shower.  And I did go out; after hearing Manchester United crush Bournemouth on talkSPORT Live/SiriusXM FC, I went to buy some State Fair food in Roseville.  Went back home to mow the lawn thinking I'd have time to sneak out for, like, ice cream or something cool before the 'Rents came home, but they got home around 2:15 or 2:30, as I was mowing the backyard.

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With that being said, I probably (forgive me) going to watch a soccer Game out tomorrow.  There is a National Women's Soccer League Match between North Carolina and Chicago at 11:30 -- plenty of time for my folks to leave.  There is a place called the Black Hart in St. Paul, where the vandalism and looting in St. Paul happened.  They're open, and through a company-backed promotion on Twitter, mention you're there to watch the NWSL Game, mention the company, and you BOGO.  I think I will do that.

But if it's too crowded, I'll leave.  And if I don't get this BOGO, I might leave.  And if realize that it might not be totally safe to be in there regardless, I might not even go.  Yeah, I'm itching for things to go back to normal, and caution fatigue is getting to me, too.

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Oh, Happy 4th of July, everyone.  Here is The Best Goddamn Song Ever (as I say this right now):

Restorative Rest

I am going to make this blog post entirely (or nearly entirely) positive and report that I slept for just about half a day, 12 hours, just now.  Fell asleep watching back-to-back episodes of The Dick Van Dyke Show (both colorized) featuring the late Carl Reiner.  Somehow I turned off the TV.  I thought I woke up once, maybe twice, but promptly fell asleep afterward.  Finally woke up with the muffled clattering of my parents outside.  Finally checked my watch after calling my sleep over: 7:44 a.m.

It has been ... you know, there was one time a long, long time ago when I slept for half a day.  I fell asleep Saturday morning and woke up just as my parents (including my Grandmother) were starting to eat dinner.  I think Baywatch was on.  There maybe, probably was one other time when I slept a dozen hours, but I know this was the last time I had slept for that long.

And now, I ... don't know what to do.  Lot of things I should do, very few I want to do.  Ish.

Toilet Bowl Cleaned, But Not From My Own Hands

The toilet bowl was getting a little grody, and I thought I would finally take some time this weekend to clean it.  But I really, really wanted toilet bowl cleaner, and we didn't have any, so I thought I would swing by Target to buy one ... after: Eating Blue Barn food from The Local (ate it in the parking lot), Visiting Grandmother (oh, shit, I didn't say goodbye to her -- dammit, I forgot!) at Lakewood, getting Glam Doll (but couldn't; they sold out), mailing my taxes, printing out the Minnesota state amended tax form for 2018 so I can re-do it and get some of my money back, and dropping off my cum towel at storage.  Did that all in about 4 1/2 Hours -- very long hours because it's so goddamn hot outside.

But I found the toilet bowl cleaner at ... Wal-Mart, which is where the FedEx was where I could print out that form.  And when I came back, at around 3:30, my parents were home renovating that home they own.  And I go to the bathroom and see the toilet bowl all sudsy.  Father apparently also saw it was getting a little grody, and he cleaned it himself.  With what, I don't know.

Don't want to return the cleaner because ... well, it's Wal-Mart, and the place made me feel oogy, and there were too many people not wearing masks and a group looked as though they wanted to pick a fight with people who were wearing masks and I think I picked up the coronavirus.  There, I said it.

Oh, and even though I don't have to clean the toilet now, it puts pressure on me to clean something else, like the bathtub.