Naptime Follies

Lately I have been unable to find the right angle from which to sleep at work.  Ironically I was doing very well when I started this job even though it was in the middle of the summer.  But whether or not it's the weather (it's still very warm, even though it hasn't been as hot or humid as a month ago) or the angle of the sun changing radically since I started working here, I've been too uncomfortable trying to sleep for that half-hour for the past few weeks.

My first spot, the one that worked for a while, started to not work when it seemed as if the sun was no longer casting shade on the tree that I thought would drape its shadow through my car in the afternoon.  So I went to another spot, in the middle of the parking lot, whose tree seemed to be situated better.  Monday I got it not quite right; I had to park a few spots away.  (The perfect spot appears to be taken by the time I get to the parking lot; someone around work also naps in their car, I take it.)  Tuesday my car appeared to be pointed in the wrong direction.  I could tell because the sun was coming through my car in such a way that my inner left leg was burning, even though I was wearing long pants.  (Can I get sunburn just trying to nap in my car?)  So I thought I got it right, or at least as right as it can be, today.

I had to roll down my windows because it apparently is The Last Warm Day Of The Summer.  I was trying to fall asleep when this fly, which I saw when I entered my car, started landing on me.  And this was no ordinary fly.  Maybe it was pissed off for being cooped up in my car half the day, but while I was trying to nap it kept landing on my arms and touching, almost ramming my face.  And it wouldn't stop its aggressiveness.  After ten minutes the only thing I could do was look at it and go, "Really, you fucking asshole?"  Remember that the windows were down.  It could have flown the hell out of there.  Instead, for about half my lunch it kept bothering me, for no good goddamn reason.

It was close to 1 o'clock when I suddenly didn't see it anymore.  Maybe it took the hint that it could escape to freedom.  I did not realize it was gone before I rolled up my windows and planned to cut my lunch short and go back inside, but when it looked like the coast was clear, I tried to take a nap again, if only ten minutes.

So, even though it felt pretty toasty in there with the windows rolled up, I put my sleeping mask back on and laid on my reclined passenger seat.  Just then I hear: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-ROWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-ROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, it's the first Wednesday of the month.  They're testing out the sirens.  How nice to be reminded we live in a ... civil community that watches out for the welfare of its citizens.  What I had not noticed until I needed to find out where the fuck this goddamn noise was coming from, however, was that these sirens have been erected on the perimeter of our parking lot.  Well, if that ain't just the tits.

That loud noise ended after less than a minute, so I thought I could squeeze in just a quick passing-out before naptime was over.  But then the sirens started blaring again, this time in a series of shorter bursts of noise.  Another minute passed, I only had five minutes left in my lunch, and I said fuck it, hopefully I drank two cups of coffee today, hopefully I won't fall asleep at work.

Apparently it not only is cooler but cloudy, so that means I should park fucking anywhere and I'll be able to sleep soundly without incident or surprise.  Let's hope so.  And let's hope that fucking berzerk zombie fly ain't around to bother me.