NFL Anti-Picks, Week 8

Record, Week 7: 2-3
Overall Record: 17-25
Total Outlay, Week 7: $450.00
Total Winnings, Week 7: $304.15
Loss, Week 7: $145.85
Overall Loss: $535.43

Yeah, it's been a shitty recent history for me fake betting, both on the college and pro sides.  This time I made a bad mistake going against conventional wisdom in picking Under for the Bears-Washington game (the two combined for 86 damn points, fuck me).  I thought the Patriots covering over the Jets was a fait accompli, but not only did they not cover, but they didn't even fucking win.  That's the NFL for you.  Finally, Case Keenum was shockingly competent, led Houston into Kansas City and almost eked out a win.  I definitely should not have Triple Best Bet that one.  So now I am in deep, deep trouble.

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OK, since it's obvious I don't know what the hell I'm doing, I'll just say fuck-all and bet on everything:

1) Dallas +3 (Taking into account that oddsmakers usually hold down three points for the home team, in this case Detroit, this is essentially a push.  I just think that the Cowboys rounding into form and will surprisingly defeat the Lions) $50

2) Philadelphia -5 1/2 (The Giants are still terrible, and defeating the Vikings doesn't change that because they're the Vikings) $50

3) San Francisco -14 1/2 (Jacksonville is the worst team in the NFL, and even with their offensive struggles, the 49ers cover with relative ease) $50

4) San Francisco-Jacksonville Under 40.5 (The Niners have a hard time scoring, the Jaguars can't score at all.  This game's taking place in London, BTW) $50

5) Cleveland-Kansas City Under 39.5 (A very good Chiefs defense takes on an improving Browns defense.  This should be an intriguing matchup and chess match) $50

6) Green Bay -8 1/2 (No matter who's quarterbacking Minnesota -- it's Christian Ponder this week -- Aaron Rodgers will slice through their defense like a Ginzu knife) $50

7) St. Louis +11 (Beyond the fact that they're at home and, you know, home dogs and stuff, plus the fact that Seattle isn't stellar on the road, I'm betting this based on a hunc) $50

8) Why the fuck not?  Parlay 1), 4), 5) and 7) (my underdogs and totals bets), for $100.

Good luck!