Monday, October 21, 2013

My Anxiety Over Last Week Has Subsided, Kind Of

I'm not talking to myself and/or angrily gesturing at the people who pissed me off at work last week.  Wait, that's not true at all.  The past two, three days the talking to myself and/or angrily gesturing at nobody has subsided.  More important, my feelings of embarrassment, frustration and defensiveness has ebbed as well.

Why?  I don't think this is growing up.  I'm not over it, per se.  But anything I could have done to remedy the situation and make sure I get employed in the future is probably too late by now.  Sure, I could call up my supervisor and make sure things are still cool between us, but if things are already cool between us, I think calling him up would make me look weird, and then I won't get hired again, which means I screwed up something that wasn't really screwed up.  For all I know they've forgotten about what I did and said last Sunday.  I'm not quite sure, I think they have the capacity to be kind of dickish, but anything that could remedy any bad feelings between us would only make things worse if I try something a week after the fact.  Either they're going to hire me back or they won't.  Nothing like time and inertia to settle things, and thus my feelings about them.

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