Expenses Without Receipt

Wow.  I realize I have to keep a strict eye on tracking these Expenses Without Receipts or I will completely fuck this up.  And I know I fucked this up, royally.  There are many days where I have no idea what I did.  What you are about to see is a shitshow in list form.  Starting from Tuesday, October 8:

• Thank Buddha for working, 'cause that means I have no idle time to spend money.  So let's go back to the weekend, specifically Sunday the 6th, where I started out my day going to the Minnesota Golden Gopher soccer team upset #7 Penn St. under the soft yet heavy drizzle of the afternoon.  (Fast fact, courtesy of ESPNW: It's the first time ever that powerhouses Penn St., Stanford and Notre Dame lost on the same day.)  Free ticket, program, hot dog and small Coke: $8.75.
• I then went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) in the afternoon.  Now that my parents have retired The Store, I don't mind going there during daylight hours.  Coffee, tips for three because one girl was missing equal: $8.
• I didn't mean to leave the house that evening.  I didn't want to leave the house that evening.  But my ATF, ***e*, wanted me to "cum" over to *e**'s party.  I was already home so I didn't plan on it, so I was about to text her back something to the effect of, "Uh, I really can't. ..."  But then I got a text from my brother.  He came over Saturday afternoon to pick up Father's desktop, which had gone on the fritz, and now he says it's ready and that I am supposed to get it from his house.  And, even though *e**'s party is pretty far away from me, it's fairly close to where my brother lives.  So I took this as a sign from up above that I was supposed to shell out even more money to go to the party.  Let's just say that after I picked up Father's computer, I had to take ***e* to this place she was crashing at in South Minneapolis because she was getting her car fixed at a place within walking distance of my house.  Oh, and to thank me for driving her to her friend's place I got a handjob from her, at a discount.  That HJ plus the dance at the party: $70.
• Back to Saturday the 5th ... After washing and drying my bedsheet, turning over my bed after six months, and talking to My Father, who thought I should be able to hear his quiet voice through my bedroom door and my blaring TV, I went to the Farmer's Market in Northeast Minneapolis, where I tried what may be The Best Food Truck In The Twin Cities, Vellee Deli.  Very hot Korean BBQ Burrito.  With a Coke to cool down my tongue and tip: $10.
• I then tried Psycho Suzi Motor Lodge's Brown Sugar Babies, which are very good, although a bit on the sugary side.  (I love bacon, I love cocktail weinies, and I love weinies wrapped in bacon.  I also like sugar.  But sugar-tasting weinies wrapped in bacon?  Not quite.)  I've heard awesome things about Psycho Suzi's, especially their tiki cocktails, but I've only been there once, and that was a long time ago.  However, when I walked into the Market one of the girls behind the table waved hi to me.  She was cute.  So, she got my business -- and by that I mean my money.  With tip: $4.
• Was debating between going to the North Star Roller Girls season premiere bout, the Minnesota United FC game (which was a matchup between the two top teams of the North American Soccer League against the reborn New York Cosmos, or at least a franchise that was able to take the Cosmos name), or just staying home in the rainy, very cloudy weather.  While I came through the front door, my parents were going the other way.  Said they had to go to The Store to pour out the water.  I think they would've gone earlier if they hadn't had to stay home to wait for my brother to come and fix Father's computer.  Anyway, My Fucking Father took out the key I put into the lock and, instead of giving it to me, he put it off to the side.  Well, I didn't like that; can't you see me?  Then, when I went downstairs to fetch my bedsheet out of the dryer, I went to the downstairs fridge to grab a Coke.  But the one that I put in there was half-drank.  My Fucking Father, once again, did not have the decency to at least put another Coke in.  That did it; I'm going out tonight.  So I went to the soccer game, which turned out to be a loss.  Ticket, hot dog, fries from The Anchor food truck, beer and tips: $25.50.
• And then, because I didn't want to go home too early tonight -- I told them when I left for the soccer game the radio station wanted me to help out on a game; coming back so soon at night would raise suspicions as to why I worked such short hours -- I went to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place.  Big salad and Coke only.  With tip: $6.50.
• Friday the 4th ... Treated myself to the Gopher soccer game ... after spending a couple hours at Scalvo's, the hotel restaurant/bar that was close to the flu biller's former office building.  Program, hot dog and small Coke: $8.75.
• Then I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version).  This is the visit with the ripoff bitch.  This is how it works, babe: If I give you two and you're nice to me now, I might give you twenty through a dance later.  But if you order me to give you five now, you'll get zero from me, now and forever more.  But thank you for helping me save a couple bucks in the future.  Coffee, tips, and a dance from the always classy ... I'll just call her ******a: $30.
• After that I tried going to this relatively new coffee place relatively close to home, but they close at 11, way too early for a coffeeshop, in my opinion.  So I went back to Caffetto for a mocha and an hour of seeing my computer not connect to the Internet.  With tip: $3.50.
• After work Tuesday, October 1 I needed some time to myself, mostly because My Fucking Father wanted me to write a stupid goddamn letter trying to make their home insurance company reconsider what he thought was a low estimate for wind and hail damage to the house back in November, damage I can't even see.  And since My Fucking Father downloaded something so bad that it's fucked up his computer, I have to type this useless letter on my laptop.  Since I have to do that, I might as well type it away from home.  Anyway, I went to the Cobalt Cafe to indulge in a frappe in what will be one of the last warm days of the year.  With tip: $4.50.
• I then had to print out said useless letter: 10 cents.
• On Sunday, September 29 I decided to risk lowering the quarter-tank of gas that had to last me till Tuesday in order to drive down to the other car wash I patronize (I lost the entire quarter-tank just to get down there, but I was able to live "below the slash" till Tuesday morning).  There are two car washes I go to, and the one closer to where I live seemed to jack up their prices, so I wanted to know if I have to go to this farther car wash in order to save money.  Not only was that not true, I believe prices have gotten even more expensive at this car wash.  So I guess I just have to deal with the higher prices ... or not get my car washed.  Have a receipt for the car wash, but I obviously don't have one for the tip: $2.
• I then went to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch the end of the Vikings game.  I went out because I can't fucking stand a whole day with my parents, especially after I helped them move our giant scale home from The Store that morning.  Felt kind of weird; although I ordered just a beer, so what I had to pay was simple, she was so occupied with helping others that I decided I wanted to get change from her instead of giving her my whole $5.  The tip, if I calculated it to be 15-20%, meant I was supposed to get fifty cents in change back.  But since she kind of kept me waiting, I insisted more and more until she finally got around to me.  In other words: $4.50.
• Saturday the 28th: Jackson's Hole for a GameWatch.  For the raffle: $10.
• Back to Thursday, September 26, where I finished a long night out with a concert by the Cold War Kids.  Reviewed it here.  Best thing about the show was that I got a scalped ticket cheap.  That, along with $6 for PBR and tip, equal: $16.
• This is the hole in which I barely remember any EWRs.  Just was having too much fun, and being busy, while my parents were gone.  On Sunday, September 22, I decompressed from a bad day at work by going to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition).  Coffee, tips, and a dance from my parking lot whore, ****e*: $30.
• A couple days before I was invited by ***e* to *e**'s party, which now happens on Sundays instead of Mondays.  Since my folks were away and I was gallivanting around the Twin Cities, I decided to drop on by.  Both girls promised this would be a more "intimate" party.  I think what they meant was there were going to be just two strippers instead of three or four.  Unfortunately there were three guys there once I came over.  But I got dances from both, and I got to take out my penis to both, and ***e* squeezed my pee-pee: $40.
• Saturday the 21st, Jackson's Hole, raffle: $5.
• Christ, I made it a point to remember how much money I spent at My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Division) Friday, September 20.  And now I totally forgot.  Fuck me.  Let's see ... Corona, lots of tips and dozen dances with my Claudia equals ... oh, I'll just pull a number out of thin air: $156.
• On Thursday, September 19 I started my day having my full at the chili and soup cookoff at work: $5.
• After work I went to the Heights Theatre for the first time in a long time.  It's a beautiful place; I should go there more often.  The excuse I gave myself for going -- besides the fact that my parents weren't there to nag me about going out so often at night -- was the movie, Blue Jasmine.  Great film, first Woody Allen I've seen in more than a decade.  At one point I thought to myself, "Huh, that scene kind of reminds me of A Streetcar Named Desire."  Turns out the whole movie is a takeoff of A Streetcar Named Desire.  Nevertheless it was great.  Maybe I should have stayed away from the regular popcorn-and-large pop deal; there was no one there to prevent me from getting a refill.  That food plus the $8 ticket: $16.
• I then went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version).  Coffee, tips, and a dance from Danielle: $30.
• Wednesday the 18th the only EWR I had was one tip at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division).  I wanted to stay longer, but I was so, so tired that I really didn't want to anything else but immediately go to bed.  First time I've ever felt that when I was there: $2.
• Tuesday, September 17, I had an illegal massage for the first time ever.  I should talk about this, shouldn't I?  I will; soon, if I remember: $120.
• After I woke up from the unconsciousness I suffered after enduring a 14-hour, 45-minute shoot the morning of Sunday the 15th, I went out that evening to see my fellow temp's high school team scrimmage.  Except that when I got to Robbie Stadium (home to the University of Minnesota soccer team) the gate was padlocked, the goal nets were pulled up and laid next to each other, and the place was empty.  The next day my co-worker told me they moved the scrimmage to a place near the U.  The good thing was that allowed me to not only go to The Store and dump out the water ahead of schedule, I also could go to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) ahead of schedule.  Coffee, tips and a dance from the beautiful ****e* -- inside, not extras in her car: $30.25
• I think I then went to My Favorite Late-Night Place for an extended dinner watching Sunday Night Football and Breaking Bad.  With tip: $8.
• On Friday the 13th I went to a party to celebrate a stripper's birthday.  This is the first time in three chances I got dances from every single dancer working the house, all four of them at $20 a pop.  I like the vibe, but there are no extras.  With a cover: $90.
• Then I finished my night by going to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place.  It's been the first time I've been in there on a Friday in a long time.  Met the guy who's always there on Fridays.  Good guy.  Unfortunately he's in a state of hurt right now, I'll say that.  Dinner-sized salad with soup plus tip equals: $9.50.
• Going back to Thursday the 12th, where the only EWR was for the ticket to the Saul Williams spoken-word performance.  Williams is a poet, and Thursday night appeared to be the first of a nine-city, ten-date poetry tour mainly through the Midwest.  That was one of the two reasons why I went out late on a school night (the performances, including a very good opening "act" by an up-and-coming slam poet named Guante).  The other reason was I know Williams because his song, "List of Demands," may be the most striking song I've ever heard used in a Nike commercial.  I realized early that he wasn't singing, but I still wanted to see him.  Cool gentleman, even though he admitted onstage that he's not rehearsing and he "doesn't know what the fuck I'm doing."  By the way, this "concert" was held at one of the newest well-reviewed restaurants in town, Icehouse.  Looking around for reviews, I bought the recommended buffalo wings and the Little Richard cocktail.  I had to charge $22 for both, but they were really good.  One other thing: Ran into a stripper at the Williams spoken-word.  She told me she saw my face and it drove her crazy where she knows me from.  She was shocked when I called her by her stage name.  Price of the ticket: $20.
• Tuesday, September 10: My biggest mistake was forgetting how much I paid for the (slow-arriving) food at the closest/only restaurant from work.  I knew as soon as I didn't get the receipt I got for charging my order the day before that I would forget.  And I still really don't know.  I don't even remember what I fuckin' got for lunch that day.  Was it a burger and fries?  So I am going to conjure up an amount for this, too: $9.
• Haircut.  Have a receipt for the cut, but never one for the tip: $2.
• On Monday the 9th Father paid me back for the Powerball tickets he wanted me to buy for him after work alongside chicken.  But after looking closer, I think he gave me more money than he should have.  Was that for tickets I got him a week before?  Eh, I shouldn't take the money, but they're on a cruise right now, so I will.  An Infusion of: $30.
• To Sunday, September 8 ... where I was at Robbie Stadium for a doubleheader featuring the women's soccer team of my alma mater.  I don't remember what I bought.  I know I bought something, a hot dog and a Coke.  And I at least wrote down the totals for how much a hot dog with each size Coke would be.  But which size Coke did I get?  Beats the hell out of me.  So I'll say I got a medium one.  With said hot dog and a program: $9.75.
• Pretty sure I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) afterward.  But did I get a dance?  Was I given a small coffee like before instead of the bigger, more expensive cup that's supposed to be the new price this day?  Beats the hell out of me.  So I will guess I just spent money on a new-sized coffee and tips, which makes this into: $11.
• The only EWR Saturday the 7th was the admission I paid to work out: $3.
• Wednesday the 4th ... ?  The day began as an extra at a movie.  I was in desperate need to check the Internet at the shoot, so I went to the coffee place closest to the set to steal some surf time.  I had to pay for a can of Coke.  With tip it comes out to the exorbitant price of: $1.10.
• I was lucky that I got cut in the middle of the afternoon.  That way I could go to the mall closest to me and get a chocolate malt from Diary Queen for happy hour.  Half price for that is: $1.61.
• The most galling thing about this receded date is that I blogged at some length of conducting my fantasy football auctions at Caffetto and the Internet cutting out.  I vaguely, only vaguely, remembering buying a pie.  I am less certain that I got a medium coffee.  Assuming I'm right -- and I could be wrong but I could be wrong in a multitude of ways -- adding a tip would make that "meal" come to: $6.

That's all I can find and think of.  Wholly inaccurate it probably is, caught up through October 8.