#-1 (tie): Gopher men's basketball and Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -1 and -2, respectively). One last call before heading out ... into the conference schedule, where both teams will likely face some very rude wake-up calls. Both baller programs finished the non-con portion of their schedule by beating the shit out of overmatched schools (Texas A&M-Corpus Christi and Oakland, respectively) over the weekend in Williams Arena. Ah, behold the "bodybag" game, throwing tens of thousands of tomato-can opponents to come on the road and get their asses handed to them. The men's team won by 21, the women by 36. This does little to help either team's RPI, but hey, at least they won, which is the whole fucking point. By intention and score, I could not decide which team is better, so for this final WMNSS of 2013, I'm just going to put both of them at the top.
While both teams begin B1G play, they don't have to leave the friendly confines of home yet. The men begin with national runner-up Michigan Thursday, then face Purdue Sunday. The women have one game next week, vs. Michigan St. Saturday.
#-2: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3). They had a relatively easy week this week, and so they became the good team all of us thought they'd be. They trashed Washington by 22 (in a game where budding really good player Bradley Beal was taken out on a stretcher), then clubbed maybe the most anonymous franchise in the NBA, the Milwaukee Bucks, in Milwaukee the next night. (Sweet court, by the way; I don't know why such a court in college hoops would bug the shit out of me but this one doesn't. Maybe it's because it is the anonymous Bucks, and I support this organization getting any buzz that gets them attention.) Unfortunately they dropped a two-point decision at home to Dallas Monday night, spoiling what would have been a perfect screening week.
Saw Bill Simmons on NBA Countdown say that he hoped Kevin Love gets traded out of Minnesota. Hey, fuck you, Simmons. I think we've suffered enough. I'm torn on Simmons. He has a great Horatio Alger-type story: Washed-out sportswriter, became a bartender but never lost his love of writing sports. On his downtown he started this e-mailing list of his articles. They are perceived to be really good and a refreshing take on sportswriting, and so his friends pass it along to his friends. ESPN thinks they've found The Next Big Thing, so they hire him. Simmons continues to bite the hand that feeds him, but because he's part of "The New Media," they think that's part of his schtick. So not only do they tolerate it, they encourage it. They even give him his own micro-website through ESPN.com and, eventually, get him on TV doing their NBA pregame show. Gotta love it.
But you can also be very envious of him, too. I can see why he rubs some the wrong way. He comes off as a know-it-all who likes to turn the volume on his snark up to 11. Plus, even though he has an Everyman mien to him, he still doesn't have the weight of authority that the other analysts do. He's basically Dennis Miller who studies a lot more. Anyway, he said on his show Christmas afternoon that unless Ricky Rubio develops a jumpshot, the Woofie Dogs aren't going anywhere. And that's what's infuriating about him: You hate Simmons, but he's right. Seems as if Rubio shot more this screening week in order to develop his scoring touch.
They host New Orleans New Year's Night and The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics Saturday, then go to Philadelphia Monday.
#-3: Wild (Last Week: -4). OK, we've got to put this fucking team on DEFCON 1 because this bitch is spinning out of control, fast. Make it five losses in a row after defeats at Winnipeg and home to the New York Islanders. Unlike their previous three setbacks offense wasn't the problem; they scored four goals in both games. Unfortunately the Jets scored six and the Islanders five.
The Islanders' loss may be the worst loss of the season, and maybe of the past several seasons:
- They went up 3-0, then choked up the entire lead;
- They actually got behind 4-3 before tying the score;
- The Mild then gave up the final goal (courtesy of Kyle Okposo, formerly of the Minnesota Golden Gophers) so quickly after the game-tier that the public address announcer hadn't even announced the goal scorer and assists yet.
- They thus lost to a team not even close to the Eastern Conference playoff race right now;
- By the way, the Isles played the night before;
- Oh, and their Goalie was their back-up.
Mike Russo of the Star Tribune of Minneapolis said tonight's New Year's Eve date at Xcel against St. Louis is a must-win. Keep dreaming, Mr. Russo; you shouldn't be throwing down such a gauntlet on a shitty team playing even shittier facing a very good Blues club. They're going to lose that one, for sure. They then have home dates with Buffalo and Washington (they're just bunching up the inter-conference games, aren't they?) before playing in Los Angeles Tuesday. And they have to play those four games without the most professional (only professional?) player on the squad, Zach Parise, who's out for the time being because the foot that he has been dragging behind him in fact is broken. There's a chance Yeo gets shitcanned by this time next week.
#-Infinity (tie): Vikings and Gopher football (Last Week: -5 and Re-Entry!, respectively). And speaking of shitcanned ... to no one's surprise, Leslie Frazier was relieved of his duties as Head Coach of the ViQueens Monday, a day after winning a 14-13 decision in the swansong of the Metrodome against a Detroit Lions team that also had nothing to play for and therefore played just as lackluster as the Vikes (and who also fired their Head Coach, Jim Schwartz, after having the lead in the NFC Central and losing, like, five of their last seven games). Mr. Frazier has no record to stand on: He sandwiched last year's playoff season with years where the Vikings lost 13 and ten games. And as I saw in one tweet, he appears to have no aptitude in halftime adjustments.
That being said, I repeat my assertion that firing head coaches won't immediately make a team better. It's obvious, but they simply did not have the personnel to win games, Quarterback and defense being the most glaring weaknesses on this organization. The players good enough to stay -- there could be a massive overhaul over the offseason -- all went to bat for Frazier; after learning about his firing, Adrian Peterson, who was vocal about talking to the bigwigs about keeping Frazier around, didn't comment after learning his argument didn't work. And while that means little to fanbase that simply wants this team to win a Super Bowl before we all die, it should be said that Leslie Frazier, by all I've heard, is a nice man of great integrity. Regardless of how well he or she does or doesn't do on the job, it's always a shame when someone as moral as him loses his job.
The clusterfuck of the musical chairs at the QB spot deepened even though, with the season over and the writing clearly on the wall, the main parties started opening up ... and they didn't tell the same story. Frazier seemed to say that the decision to stick with Christian Ponder for so long was a collaborative decision, but in the press conference held Monday afternoon to formerly announce the firing, General Manager Rick Spielman said that while he and ownership had to be notified, it was Frazier that had the final say. Will the players that went to bat for Frazier appreciate what seemed to be Spielman trying to throw Frazier under the bus? I know at least one ex-Viking who doesn't:
So sorry to see Leslie Frazier go. Great coach, even better man of integrity. Too bad they fired the wrong guy up there.
— Ryan Longwell (@4thandLongwell) December 30, 2013
But Spielman didn't hire Frazier; Frazier was hired as HC under the team's "Triangle of Authority" days, so now he has at least 100% accountability about who's getting hired next. (Paul Charchian, guest-hosting for The Common Man last week, said that Ken Whisenhunt, current Offensive Coordinator of the playoff-bound San Diego Chargers and former Head Coach of the Arizona Cardinals, a team he took to the Super Bowl and was unjustly fired by the Bidwills after last year, would be the perfect replacement. The Vikings have never hired someone who has been a Head Coach elsewhere in the NFL; knowing that fact makes me like Whisenhunt more and more.) And while I think Spielman can be cold enough to not know the pulse of the team (quick story: While working a game I stepped aside for the Vikings offensive starters to come down the tunnel from their locker room; Spielman was walking up the tunnel behind me; I stepped aside for him, and while Spielman and the players walked past each other, they didn't even acknowledge each other ... might not be anything, might be everything), he has drafted well with Blair Walsh, Matt Kalil, hopefully Xavier Rhodes and Cordarrelle Patterson, the rookie who scored both Minnesota touchdowns Sunday. He made a horrible mistake in drafting Ponder with the 12th pick in that year's draft, but Spielman is not batting .000. So while I don't approve of the firing, I can understand the organizational chart, where the GM has the replace the Head Coach. Let's just hope he doesn't fuck this up, otherwise his ass would be next -- and deservedly so.
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It's unfair. When a college football team wins one of these bowl exhibitions, I go, "Who cares? It's only a bowl exhibition." But when that team loses that game, I go, "What the fuck? You can't even win a fucking bowl exhibition?? What the hell is wrong with you???"
I was reflecting on that hypocrisy when hearing (well after the fact; I have better things to do than listen to a bowl game) that the Goof gridiron team got "upset" by Syracuse in the Texas Bowl Friday, 21-17. I didn't want to write about this team and this game. But I heard that the Orange may have been the worst team to make it to the postseason. Losing to them, then, has to be noted as a horrible way to end what was supposed to be a breakthrough season. Apparently Minnesota gave up, like, a 70-yard special teams touchdown or something? And the game was decided when Gopher Quarterback Mitch Leidner threw up a late-game Hail Mary that came up short.
Did you know that Head Coach Jerry Kill came down from the booth to coach from the sideline for the first time since late September? He says it was supposed to be motivational; I think it's a curse. Remember that he has been cooped up there for all the squad's conference wins. I say he should've stayed up there.
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