So two of my friends on Facebook aren't my real friends. These Facebook friends are my Facebook friends because they're really hot. Most of the my "friends" on Facebook are babes. I really wanted to separate my real friends from the hot women I'm hunting by making separate profiles, but damn you, Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook made me verify my nom de Internet with a birth certificate. Holy intrusion, Batman!
If I were posting under a pseudonym I wouldn't be so bent out of shape over what I'm about to tell you, but since I'm not, I am. Do you ever have friends that regularly like all the comments for one of his or her status updates? I'm one of those people. These two hotties are, too.
Now, have you ever commented on a status update for this type of friend, and when you go check back on it on your Timeline, he or she has liked every comment except yours? That is what each of them did to me recently. And I am bothered by it.
So, what did they say, and what did I say? Well, one of them was talking about how her daughter wouldn't sit on her father's (her husband's) lap because she said the food he had in front of him was disgusting. I asked what this supposed disgusting meal was, and she said it was a turkey burger, to which I said, "Eh, your daughter's overreacting!" To be fair, she liked my first comment, but she didn't like my second, even though she liked everybody else's comment.
That made me nervous. We are only Facebook friends -- I mean, we're not, you know, actual friends. And I am trying these days to not obsess over what other people might think of what I say on the Internet. But I make an exception to my "I'm 40 so I don't have any more fucks to give" stance with her, and therefore I'm scared (and maybe I'm even paranoid) that I offended her -- specifically, that I'm judging her daughter for something she really thinks is innocuous. I think it is, too! That's why I said she was overreacting in a joking way. But you can't detect tone over the Internet, and I'm afraid that she took it the wrong way.
I'm so scared that she reacted badly to what I thought that, as soon as I saw she left out my second message her like barrage, I checked her profile page to make sure we were still friends. We are. Phew. But am I skating on thin ice?
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The other one is someone who -- ahem -- I've seen in a magazine before. And honestly, even though it wasn't full nudity like it was before, and therefore it's an apples-and-oranges comparison because I can't see everything, she may look better now, in her forties after having two kids, than she did then.
She took a selfie of her fucking ripped body while she was on vacation (maybe it was business, I'm not entirely sure). It was her hotel bathroom, she had a black bikini on, and she was also wearing these Daisy Dukes but pulled her zipper down. If you know me, you know that I love shots where it looks as if clothing is being removed. But again, her body -- goddamn.
And, in a compliment, I said that -- not verbatim, but basically. The other people commenting on that picture did the same thing. But when I looked back, she like-like-like-liked all those comments, conspicuously skipped over my innocent comment, then like-like-like-liked all the rest.
What did I say? Seriously, what did I say? I didn't say anything creepy or perverted ... at least I don't think so. But she's unnerved by it? I don't get it, I really don't. I mean, if you're going to show off your body, people are going to comment on it, right? And if you look good, you should expect compliment, shouldn't you? That's all I did! That's all I did!
Just checked on Facebook. Still Facebook friends with her. For now.
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