#0 (tie): Gopher volleyball and Gopher football (Last Week, respectively: -3 and -1). It was a tough decision to order this week's WMNSS. Once again, it appears that the local college outperformed all of the professional teams. But from there, it was hard to differentiate which teams did a better job.
Finally I had to relent. Even though the footballers (worldwide term) are in postseason mode, I felt the need to highlight two other Golden Gopher schools for their work this screening week. What they both were able to accomplish over the past seven days may not happen again for the rest of the year. Meanwhile, the U. soccer squad will get at least another lofty ranking next week as they gear up for the NCAA Tournament and they've been on top a few times this season, so I slipped them in the bridesmaid spot this week.
I don't remember the volleyball club, ranked third last week, having three games in one week. I'm almost certain that they've never had a week in survey history where they swept all three games. But they did, against an overmatched Rutgers team/program 17-14-15, a huge three-set victory over then-#10 Penn St. 17-20-18, then a not-bad Indiana outfit 21-24-21. Sure, all three games where at the Pavilion. But it's the first time in my memory that the U. has swept the Nittany Lions at home in back-to-back seasons. (Also note that when it comes to scoring points, Penn St. won fewer of them than the Hoosiers.)
Now the Gophers are ranked second but have to hit the road to finish the away portion of their schedule. (The back half of the season were divided into chunks: Four in a row on the road, then three at home, then three more on the road, then four at the Pav to finish the season.) Luckily for them, there's only one game they play out-of-town this week, and it's a walkover: Maryland Sunday afternoon.
Meanwhile, let's give credit to the gridiron gang in Dinkytown. They went on the road and confidently routed an Illinois program with first-year Head Coach Lovie Smith, 40-17. Again, we're not talking about the 2001 team that could have made the finals of a Mythical National Playoff, but we're not talking about the Bronco Nagurski-era Gopher football team either. You take victories where you can get them, and you take beatings where you can take them. Moreover, this has won three games in a row and has become bowl-eligible -- certainly aided by the fact that it's a BcS school, but it's still an achievement Tracy Claeys should be commended for. Unless Athletic Director Mark Coyle believes he can get somebody with a lengthier bona fides such as, oh, Les Miles or, gad, Lane Kiffin, the head coaching supply is going to be pretty fallow this off-season. A 6-2 record is a sign (at least for now) that maybe the Gophers should stick to Claeys.
But who knows? The final three games provides a gauntlet. But this week's game is only the fourth-to-the-last, it's at TCF Bank Stadium, and it's against a Purdue club that fired its HC a couple weeks ago. Should be four in a row.
#-1: Gopher soccer (Last Week: 0). The runner-up spot shouldn't be seen as a slight. I was at Sunday afternoon's Big Ten Soccer Tournament Quarterfinal match, where the U. fended off Indiana 3-1 to ensure the rest of the tourney will be played at Robbie Stadium this weekend. If I haven't said this before, let me say it now: Stefanie Golan's team plays fast and smart. They were able to chain passes that turned into scoring opportunities in front of the Hoosiers goal, and finally a few of them went in. They are playing up to their abilities and to, I believe, the very maximum of their talent level, and that might make this team the best iteration in program history.
The only soccer bracketologist out there that I see is Chris Henderson of Hero Sports. In his weekly bracketology breakdown, he finally has Minnesota as one of the 16 seeds for the tournament. (Surprisingly, Henderson doesn't have the Hoosiers, the tournament team the U. beat, in the tourney. In fact, he doesn't have IU as one of his Last Seven Out. Meanwhile, according to him, Ohio St., a team that was just nosed out of the B1G Tournament, is not only in but safely in -- not even on the bubble.) If the U. wins the tournament, the combination of good form to end the season, the imprimatur of the Big Ten Conference, and the need for geographical balance may convince the NCAA to side with Henderson and give the Golden Gophers a national seed. I do not think they get one unless they win it all, however.
If that's the case, they would be in line to host the first-round game next weekend and the second-round and Sweet Sixteen games the following weekend. I presume that the weather the next two weeks won't be far from the relatively warm days we're enjoying now. Unfortunately, this year is lined up so that I will precisely miss the vast majority of the games. Minnesota plays Michigan tomorrow in the afternoon, and Northwestern opposes Rutgers, which upset second-seed Penn St. Sunday in the match after that, but the former game will be over and the latter will have kicked off by the time I am done with work. Sunday afternoon's final takes place at the same time as the Vikings game, which I'm working. I'm totally free next weekend, but the Vikings are back home the following weekend, when the U. should face worthy opposition. There should be games Saturday, and I should be free then, but that's it. Sadly.
#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -6). Wow, this list is taking a long time. That's what you get when you go to bed at 8:30 in the evening and wake up all refreshed at 1:30 in the morning. (I feel really good right now, which is rare!) Oh, anyway ... the Gopher men's hockey team did not lose in their sojourn to upstate New York -- way upstate; gosh, it's really up there! -- this past weekend. They rallied from three goals down to pip Clarkson in Overtime, 4-3, Friday night, then drew 2-all vs. St. Lawrence the next evening.
This weekend they're at home to revive one of the great rivalries in college hockey, one that was ruined utterly after The Great Men's College Hockey Realignment of 2013: North Dakota. The Fighting Hawks (yes, it's a generic name and one that's less than a year old, but at least it's not racist!) play the Gophers since their memorable Frozen Four Semifinal in April 2014, when Justin Holl scored a short-handed goal with .6 seconds left to give the Gophers a 2-1 win. It'll be the first time UND has played in Mariucci in four seasons, and they are coming off a sweep at Minnesota-Duluth, where they were #1 in the country and the Bulldogs were #2. The Fighting Hawks are now ranked third while the U. is ranked 13th, so maybe another school in the University of Minnesota system can take two games from NoDak at home for the second weekend in a row.
#-3: Wild (Last Week: -2). Well, shit, now the pros. This will be a bummer. Well, let me take that back, partially; whenever Minnesota can beat The Bastard North Stars (let alone crush the shit out of them, 4-0), it's not a bad week. Giving up the first loss at home, however (to Buffalo) isn't great. At least the team is one of the league leaders in shots attempted and goals scored, two marked differences from iterations past. And congratulations to Goalie Devan Dubnyk, named the NHL's Second Star Of The Week for back-to-back-to-back shutouts and recording a new franchise goal-allowed streak of 183 minutes and 16 seconds. (Note that the last 3:16 of that streak happened in the Buffalo game, which was played the day after Dubnyk was given the honor. Also note that the honor was given the day before the Wild lost.)
They start a four-game road trip with contests against Colorado Saturday and Pittsburgh Thursday.
#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5). I am fidgety about how this squad has stumbled out of the gate, and I think I am justified in being fidgety. They have the best young talent in the National Basketball Association, and yet they lose at Sacramento and at home to meandering Denver, both by three points? Yeah, I hear all this stuff about being patient and needing the parts of the Woofs to get. But I really believe that a championship team, a dynastic team (which is something all sports fans want) will come shooting out of the gate. I don't remember hearing anything about Magic's Lakers or Larry's Celtics or Jordan's Bulls needing "time to gel." And by that measure, one that I think I can rely on, these guys are falling way, way short.
So far in this young year it's the third quarter that's destroying them. That, so far, is a sign that these on-paper shitty teams are making adjustments after halftime that either the Woofie Dogs aren't understanding or, worse, that Head Coach Tom Thibodeau isn't seeing. The fact is is that besides Tuesday, where they outscored The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies 35-23 in the third on their way to winning their home-opener (and first and so far only game) 116-80, this squad has been outscored by 48 points in the third stanza. Egad.
It's not going to get easier this screening week. They'll be exclusively on the road, beginning in Oklahoma City to face The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics Saturday. They will then strike out east for the first time all year, with matches against Brooklyn Tuesday and all the way down to Orlando Wednesday.
#-5: Vikings (Last Week: -4). Well, fuck. What was shaping up to be a special team a month ago, in a season that seemed lost before it even began, this organization is in an all-too-familiar tailspin. The offensive line was a sieve once again as they not only were beaten at Chicago Monday night, they were crushed by a fucking team that was 1-5, 20-10. As as indication of how fucked-up the ViQueens' OL is right now, Pro Football Focus graded out Right Tackle T.J. Clemmings with a score so low (albeit not understandable to me at all; I have no reference that I'm comfortable with that makes me really comprehend that number, which I can't find anywhere) that, if that were his score over the rest of the season, it would be lowest grade PFF has ever given out to a player, in any position, ever. (I saw it in a tweet; I can't find, but you'll have to trust me.) Another damning statistic, courtesy of PFF: The Bears were able to pressure Quarterback Sam Bradford 16 times in the game, registering five sacks, yet they only blitzed Minnesota twice. Fucking God.
Then the bombshell Wednesday: Offensive Coordinator Norv Turner surprised everyone -- including, it appears, Head Coach Mike Zimmer -- by resigning. "Different views" is all Turner would say as he headed out of Winter Park. Yes, I think the offense could have done a much better job after getting bogged down these past two games. But it's obvious the woes are because of a patchwork offensive line; if anything, fault on that lays at the feet of General Manager Rick Spielman for not adequately addressing what was an obvious weakness last year. None of us blamed Turner for this. But Turner decides to quit?
So what now? What are these "different views" new/interim OC Pat Shurmur ostensibly does not see? And is there any way he can get the line fixed, let alone the offense? This wasn't the change that was needed, and yet this is another instance of uncertainty at a time when the team already has too much to deal with ... including a home date against a Detroit team Sunday afternoon that has got its offensive ducks in a row. The defense remains the Vikings' stalwart, but that was exposed as incapable frequently on Monday night. Will Zimmer and the staff have enough time, and will they find the right answers? Or are we looking at a three-game losing streak?
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