Sunday, October 22, 2017

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: 0).  The sixth-ranked Golden Gophers won all three matches this week, and for all I know they will remain sixth in the AVCA Top 25 come next week.  Wouldn't be right; sure, sweeping Iowa at home Sunday isn't much, and sweeping Ohio St. Wednesday at much either, but that Buckeyes win was in Columbus.  Then, the club finished their 3-0 screening week last (Saturday) night by beating ninth-ranked Wisconsin at Maturi in four sets -- that should be a resume builder.  The U. has won seven in a row (a huge reason I'm giving them Positive Numbers), and I'm really scared that they should get a loss or two under their belt so they can work hard to get rid of the bad taste of losing.  This week: Home to Illinois Wednesday, at Rutgers Saturday.

#0: Vikings (Last Week: -1).  How an injury can change a season -- for good as well as for bad.  You may not have known this, but the Vikes were alternating wins and losses, even including the preseason.  That means they should have lost to Green Bay at US Bank Sunday -- shit, they should have lost to the Packers for other reasons besides adhering to a pattern.  But then Anthony Barr deposits Aaron Rodgers on his shoulder in the First Quarter, tearing his collarbone and sidelining him probably for the rest of the season.  Brett Hundley, the Packers' backup QB (and an asshole because he always beat my Trojans when he was at UCLA) stepped in and, naturally, wasn't Rodgers; Minnesota actually won going away, 23-10, and now the two teams are tied atop the National Football Conference North Division.  And while the Cheeseheads are scrambling to see if Hundley can manage the game enough for Green Bay to still be successful, Minnesota, behind a solidifying defense and Jerrit McKinnon finding his footing as bellcow Running Back after Dalvin Cook was lost for the year, may have found its identity and is hitting its stride.  And with a scared GB, a mercurial Detroit team and a Bears club who's trotting out their rookie QB, the way to the division title is mapped out.  That's why I give the Vikes a 0.

Case Keenum is going to be the Vikes' QB for the year; that is settled.  What I was wrong is that I thought that Keenum's presence under Center meant that the squad was going to win three games at most.  Instead, he is not only the team's best QB (he's the team's only healthy QB), but he can adequately scare opposing defenses with his ability and propensity to throw deep.  I will need to see more in order to be convinced, but right now Keenum is actually leading the offense in an above-average way.

Meanwhile, and in an issue that doesn't need to be solved now but will rear its ugly head in the offseason, Teddy Bridgewater was slated to start practicing with the team last week.  More than a year after a non-contact injury that was so bad, some people feared his leg would have to be amputated, he is now fully healed (supposedly) and ready to practice -- and, according to Touchdown Teddy, to play.  Fuck that; he hasn't had real snaps in over a year -- he comes in only if Keenum is in a coma.  Meanwhile, putative starting QB Sam Bradford still has leg issues that haven't been fully explained.  Both he and Bridgewater will reach the end of their contracts.  You obviously can't keep both, but considering that Keenum is still a journeyman and his backups might have lower bodies more fragile than toilet paper, do you want to keep either?

But again, that's an issue for another day.  Right now The Bastard Cleveland Browns come to town today (Sunday), and it would be so like the Vikings if they lose a home game to an offense as anemic as the Ravens'.

#-1: Gopher football (Last Week: -5).  I'm giving the Gopher footballers a bone.  Their 24-17 Homecoming win yesterday (Saturday) over horrid Illinois may be the only Big Ten game they win all year.  Make no mistake; the Fighting Illini are a shitty team.  Thus, that the U. had to survive late against them to win on Homecoming means that the Goofers aren't that much better.  How many players from last year's Tracy Claeys-led team are still around?  If there isn't that much turnover, these guys should be much better than they are.

The schedule finishes with a stronger slate of opponent.  Next Saturday: At Iowa.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  I remember Minnesota-Duluth being a good team and a powerful program.  I don't remember the year, but I remember being at the Women's Frozen Four Final at Ridder Arena and seeing the Bulldogs win in Triple Overtime; I even managed to record the game-winning Goal in my camera.  But then that championship-winning Head Coach, Shannon Miller was fired, and she sued UMD for discrimination; she said she was fired for being a woman, a lesbian, and a Canadian.  (I admit I laughed after hearing that being Canadian was one of the claims she claims in her lawsuit against the university, but then I saw that national origin is one of the bases under which you cannot lose your job under federal law.)  Near the end of Miller's tenure, the program started going into the shitter, and now they're still in the doldrums, as evidenced by the U.'s sweep of the Bulldogs in Duluth this weekend.

That's all I wanted to say.  Oh, also that the club has won their last four games, all on the road.  They next host Wisconsin for a Saturday-Sunday series.

#-3: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -6).  Minnesota and North Dakota may be The Greatest Rivalry In Top-Flight College Hockey.  And after hosting a two-game series last season, the Golden Gophers returned the favor and played a pair in Grand Forks this weekend.  Seeing that the U. icers are currently ranked eighth and the Fighting ... Hawks are fourth, getting a split is good enough.  Sure, the defeat on Saturday was by a 4-0 score (they went 0-for-6 on the Power Play), but they beat those bigoted NoDaks 2-1 Friday, so I can see this as a net plus.

This screening week they begin a four-game, two-series homestand by playing Clarkson.  I will be going to Friday night's game with a ticket I bought at the State Fair.

#-4: Wild (Last Week: -4).  Fast fact by Michael Russo, formerly Mild beat writer for the Star Tribune and now striking out on his own (sort of) as a reporter for The Athletic: This club has either led or been tied in the Third Period in all six of their games so far.  With last (Saturday) night's 4-2 win in Calgary, they now have won only twice.  Nevertheless it was a gutty win over The Bastard Atlanta Flames, seeing as they were leading (in the third) The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers 3-2 and lost, 4-3 just the night before.

For the first three weeks of the season they had no game in the week before Thursday.  This week, as part of a start of a homestand, they play Vancouver Tuesday before facing the Islanders Thursday and the two-time defending Stanley Cup Champion Pittsburgh Penguins Saturday.

#-5: Timberwolves (Re-Entry!).  So this significantly revamped Timberwolves squad, one that acquired Jimmy Butler and Taj Gibson -- this is the squad that will finally reach the NBA Playoffs, right?  Well, Wednesday's 107-99 loss in San Antonio didn't make me think much has changed.  I'm puzzled in particular that neither Andrew Wiggins, who signed a max extension earlier in the week, or Jeff Teague, starting Point Guard since Ricky Rubio was traded to The Bastard New Orleans Jazz, played one second in the Fourth Quarter.  They played their home opener (in the newly refurbished Target Center) Friday against Rubio and the Jazz, and they had to tough out a 100-97 win.  That victory was all due to Jamal Crawford, who scored all 19 of his points in the last quarter, including the dagger three with less than half a minute left to go.

Guess it's a matter of chemistry, isn't it?  This week is a busy one.  They travel to Oklahoma City tonight (Sunday night).  They have a back-to-back (I thought those were outlawed?) where they host Indiana Tuesday and then visit Detroit (in the new Little Caesars Arena) Wednesday, then host the aforementioned Bastard Seattle SuperSonics Friday.

#-6: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3).  Hmmm ... they crush the Illini in Champaign Sunday, 4-0.  But on Senior Night Friday, they lost at home to Ohio St. in a game that I unfortunately witnessed, 2-1.  The wind was howling towards one goal all night.  That was the end towards which the Buckeyes were aiming for the First Half.  I didn't see their first Goal, but it was a golazo from about 30 feet out and it may have ridden on the wind.  Their other tally, also in the first half, came off a Corner Kick where the ball landed on a spot and tore apart the Goofers backline.  The U. took advantage of the wind when a lob towards the Bucks' box forced an Ohio St. player to foul in the box; Julianna Gernes deposited her eighth Goal of the season from the spot.  But they could never the tying Goal.  They seemed out of sorts all match, not connecting on passes and praying that lobs and crosses would magically find a teammate's feet.  Or, maybe Ohio St. is pretty good.

According to Chris Henderson, the Gophers remain on the bubble but in.  A victory Wednesday at Nebraska -- part of the B1G's own Decision Day -- would do wonders for their chances of making the NCAA Tournament.  The format for the conference tournament, by the way, has finally been cleared up.  Only the top eight teams (presumably by points) make it.  The Quarterfinals will be played at the highest seed Sunday.  I think that means that the U. will host another game at Elizabeth Lyle Robbie Stadium, but I don't know if I'll be able to see it because I have to pick up my parents in the afternoon.

#-7: United FC (Re-Entry!).  The Los Angeles Galaxy are tied with DC United for worst record in Major League Soccer.  Regardless of what happens in today's (Sunday's) all-league Decision Day (where are 22 sides play at the same time [3 p.m.], an idea that should be duplicated in all sports), the Loons will finish with more points than L.A. and so will not finish last in the Western Conference.

And yet, on Sunday night, MNUFC went to the Stubhub Center and promptly laid a turd, 3-0.  I have no idea how to break the match down besides saying that it is well nigh indefensible.  And this after I attended a season-ticketholder dinner where all the team and Head Coach Adrian Heath came out and said hi to the fans and said they're going to do their best against L.A.  Whatevs.

One other thing: Their Decision Day matchup is at San Jose.  The Loons will set the Major League Soccer record for most Goals conceded in a season if the Earthquakes score three times.  SJ is in a situation where they need to win to get into the playoffs.  This could be a test for the players.  Or, this could get extremely ugly very quickly.

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