Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Fuckin' Eagles Thief

Honestly, I'm so blinded by anger at the Iggles asshole who stole a seat from U.S. Bank Stadium after the Super Bowl.  I don't want to read any story to get the details -- I just saw a photo and a headline online -- because delving into the details will only piss me off even more.

This isn't just youthful indiscretion, especially since the fucker looks old.  This is more than irrational exuberance, the way to memorialize your team's first-ever Super Bowl win.  And this goes even beyond Iggles being Iggles.  I think he sees Minnesotans as weak, as pushovers, as emasculated.  So this asshole thinks he can just take a seat and fly home with it while flaunting and taunting Minnesotans all the way home.  This shit is what serial killers do to their victims: Taking a piece of them as a sign they "own" them.

So the question then becomes: Why in the fuck aren't we arresting this son-of-a-bitch?  If he's actively documenting his steps on social media, he'll be totally easy to find.  And there has to be some law against taking U.S. Bank Stadium property.  Why don't they fly over to his house with the FBI and arrest his ass?  I'm serious!  These Eagles pricks are a dochey bunch.  If we just sit back and say, "Oh, we'll just replace the seat," that'll give carte blanche to other dickhead football fans to take even more seats.  Those seats are paid for by taxpayer money.  If this keeps up -- and it will if stadium officials don't go after this guy -- it'll eventually show up on the state budget.

This shit needs to be nipped in the bud, and now.  Arrest him, extradite him back here, and prosecute this East Coast chump to the fullest extent of the law.  Make an example out of this rude Eagles thief.  Because if we don't stand up to bullies like him now, more of them are going to come and destroy property that we, the taxpayers of this state, paid for.

When the hell are we going to defend ourselves?

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