Monday, March 5, 2018

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  I have to be honest: It's been a heavy weekend for my sports-loving heart.  Local teams absolutely fucking sucked.  And I think the avalanche of my teams losing just got to me, and in a way I've never felt before.  Sometimes I think to myself after seeing another Minnesota team lose, "Why in the hell do I do this to myself?"

There are two saving graces for this week, so naturally they occupy the top two spots in the WMNSS.  I give the top spot to the University of Minnesota women's hockey team, which took advantage of hosting the WCHA Final Faceoff at Ridder Arena and, as the three-seed, upsetting Ohio St. and then Wisconsin to clinch the tournament title.  Looking at the four at-large teams selected by the NCAA after Sunday afternoon's results, the narrative some folks in the media have peddled, that the Golden Gophers had to win the tournament or else they would stay home for the NCAA Tournament, is misleading.  According to the PairWise after the U. won the conference tourney, it looks as though the team was good enough to get selected even if they lost this past weekend.

Nonetheless, they couldn't be too sure, so they went out and got the WCHA Tournament title and the automatic bid into the NCAA Tournament that goes along with it.  Head Coach Brad Frost has preached all year that his team does not know how good they are capable of being, but in this tournament, paced by Senior Captain and WCHA Defensive Player Of The Year Sydney Baldwin (who is on the Kazmaier shortlist) and Freshman/conference scoring champion Grace Zumwinkle (who scored the only goals in the U.'s 2-0 upset of the Buckeyes Saturday), they may finally have reached that epiphany.

Or maybe they have not.  Like I said, even if they lost, there still is a fighting chance that Minnesota still would have made the tournament.  Moreover, in conference tourneys like this, I am very skeptical about motivation.  Teams that know they will reach the tournament won't go full out due to risk of injury.  I think that's what the Badgers did, saving their strength when it really counts.  Oh, and guess who the Gophers have for their quarterfinal matchup this weekend?  Wisconsin, of course!  And the Badgers will be fully motivated for the rematch Saturday, this time in Madison.

I'm putting these guys at the top of the survey, but they're gonna get killed next weekend.

#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -4).  This club's postseason chances are not as secure; they lost to Ohio St., 90-88, in the B1G Tourney Semis Saturday.  But the thinking was that the 4-seeded Gophers had to play to seed, and they did that by surviving Iowa, 90-89, in the Quarters Friday.  With that, Charlie Creme, women's basketball bracketologist of ESPN.com, says that the U. is the fourth-to-the-last team in, and not only that, was shifted up from a 10 to a 9.

I may not have touched on the squad's postseason accolades yet.  Carlie Wagner finishes her career at the U. with a spot in the All-Big Ten First Team.  Junior Kenisha Bell also made the first team.  And Destiny Pitts was named Big Ten Freshman Of The Year.  This is a sign that, unlike the men, this basketball team appears to be on its way up.

So these players have to wait a week until Selection Monday to make absolutely sure they are in.  They'll return then, I think.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: 0).  Is this the fight that will turn the Wild's season around?

So the team began the screening week defeating St. Louis at the X by notching a franchise-high eight Goals.  But then, vs. two really bad (and relocated) teams in Arizona and Colorado, they lost on back-to-back nights.  Both losses were pretty bad; they coughed up the lead to the league-worst Coyotes, then got shelled for seven Goals in the loss to the Avalanche.

So last (Sunday) night's tilt against Detroit back at home was going a little turgid.  Then the Red Wings' Luke Witkowski kind-of sort-of tried to knee Zach Parise.  And Defenseman (and Minnesotan) Nick Seeler, doing his best to keep a job in the NHL by becoming a pugilist, decided to enforce the unwritten rules of the ice:



The Wild scored two Goals after that on their way to a 4-1 victory.  Can fights change the momentum of a season?  Who knows?

This week: Home to Carolina, then at Vancouver and Edmonton back-to-back.

#-4: United FC (Re-Entry!).  The team began Season 2 out in San Jose Saturday night.  Went downtown to the side's watch party.  Thought about not going because of the traffic and the trouble parking and the riffraff downtown.  But then I remembered that my alma mater watches games downtown too.  If I don't go, I'm a hypocrite.  And I am not a hypocrite.

So I went.  And I was lucky to snag a seat at the bar before the match against the Earthquakes began.  A lot of United supporters were there.  I twirled my scarf for Corner Kicks.  I don't do that at the stadium, for crissakes, and I'm doing it inside a bar?!  I'm nuts.

Oh yeah, the game.  The Quakes opened scoring by tallying just over a minute apart, then early in the Second Half, after the Loons relentlessly attacked, San Jose, in their first advance after Halftime, picked apart MNUFC's still-shitty defense and notched the game-winner.

I thought it was all over.  But then Kevin Molino, bless his heart, braced, and all of a sudden the team that frequently stopped playing in the midst of an onslaught showed some fight.  New acquisition Tyrone Means almost completed the comeback, but his shot just went wide.

So they lost, 3-2.  But I really do admire the way they came back.  Sure, it was on the back of a couple players.  And communication problems have reared their ugly heads again.  Also, on FiftyFive.One people continue to believe that Gaffer Adrian Heath continues to apply the wrong formation and tactics given the talent that he has.  But the first match last year ended up 5-1, so I think this is a sign of progress.

At Orlando Saturday.

#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6).   Goddamn this survey is long.

Is this the fight that will turn the Timberwolves' season around?

This is the first week this squad is playing without Jimmy Butler.  They are facing a touch stretch of games in order to maintain not just the third spot in the Western Conference, but a playoff spot, period.  They crushed Sacramento but ran out of gas versus Portland, and then similarly slowed down at Utah.

At this point it looks as though Butler's absence is affecting this team.  Maybe the frustration over that bubbled over, or it was the tough game against the Jazz.  But for some reason, Jeff Teague just lost it and put a wrestling move on former Wolf Ricky Rubio:



Afterward, Jimmy Butler chimed in on Twitter for the first time in over a year (he has a Twitter account?) and approved of Teague's thug tactics. And then he called out Jae Crowder for getting into an argument with Head Coach Tom Thibodeau.

To me, these are signs of a team spiraling out of control.  Karl-Anthony Towns and Andrew Wiggins should be good enough, and have been in the NBA long enough, to put their own stamp on this club and lead.  Instead, people are body-checking players into the seats and talking shit on social media.  Whatever, guys, just fucking win.  You people are in trouble.

At least they have about a week off before they resume playing.  Moreover, this screening week they have only two games, both at Target Center.  Unfortunately, those two games are versus Boston and Golden State.  Good fucking luck.

#-6: Gopher softball (Last Week: -1).  A 2-3 screening week at the San Diego Classic I.  Victories over Oregon St. and Colorado St. sandwiches three straight losses to San Diego St., Long Beach St., and UCLA.  Since the Dirtbags and the Bruins are ranked, the trajectory of the team seems to be set; not terrible, but a couple cuts below the title contenders.  That's a serious step back, I'm afraid.

This week is interesting.  They play one game at Arizona St. Friday.  Saturday they go to the GCU Invitational, which apparently is only a one-day doubleheader with Georgetown and for-profit Grand Canyon University.  Then on Sunday they play a DH against ... Arizona St.  Again?

#-7: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -5).  Yesterday (Sunday) I spent the entire day, about twelve hours, at U.S. Bank Stadium to watch the final three games of the Dairy Queen Classic/B1G-Pac-12 Challenge.  Yes, it was long, but I have to remind myself that there are many, many worse ways to spend a day on this temporal plane than to watch baseball.

I just wish the home team played more professionally.  In the nightcap against arguably the best of the six teams, UCLA, they jumped out to a 1-0 lead after an Inning and then allowed six Runs.  And really, the 6-1 loss is a lot worse than the score indicates.  Egad, I don't know if I've ever seen a worse game by a Gopher baseball team.  The pitching was execrable.  The U. used five Pitchers last night; the first four hit a batter.  Moreover, that quartet issued five Walks.  Add in three Errors and a Balk, for God's sake, and you can see how the Bruins could scratch across six Runs when getting only three Hits.  Meanwhile, the lineup either was not able or refuses to practice plate discipline.  They were swinging away even at the first pitch of the at-bat, and sometimes no matter where the ball was located.  Those guys were acting like it was fucking softball.  Let me state the obvious: This is a bad baseball team.

These guys were so bad that I wonder how in the hell it was able to beat Arizona, 3-2, in twelve Innings Friday, although they did lose to Washington, 6-4, in ten Innings Saturday.  (Illinois was crowned "champion" of the Classic for winning all three of its games; Michigan St. is the sixth team that participated.)  At least they extend their homestand this screening week, as they have midweek one-offs vs. Nebraska-Omaha Tuesday, Wisconsin-Milwaukee, Wednesday, and Creighton for a three-game series this weekend.

#-8: Gopher wrestling (Re-Entry!).  The U. can obfuscate and spin the news all they want.  What these guys don't say in that press release is 1) none of their wrestlers won their weight class and 2) the school as a team finished seventh after the Big Ten Tournament.  Seventh.  Fuckin' seventh.  You know, as dictatorial J Robinson was during his tenure, and even though he was starting to lose his grip atop the college wrestling firmament, the program has cratered under Brandon Eggum.  Robinson would not have allowed this to happen, I am 100% certain.

I don't know what else to say.  NCAAs are in two weeks, and I don't know if I should even write about it.  Yeah, I guess I have to, if only to give these guys a -Infinity and close the book on this squad year.

#-9: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -8).  My fucking God, what a miserable, miserable end of the season for this putrid squad.  They finished their regular season losing five in a row, the last four all at the hands of Penn St., all at Pegula Arena, the last two losses ushering them out of the Big Ten Tournament.  They put up somewhat of a fight in Saturday's Game 2 -- they lost to the Nittany Lions on Friday, 5-3 -- but the Defense was so leaky they gave up the game-winning Goal in the third to lose, 6-5.

That late-season fade has consequences, and that can be seen in the PairWise.  The Goofers, which was once on the good side of the bubble around eighth or ninth, now sit at 13th.  According to the latest Bracketology report by Jayson Moy of USCHO.com, the last at-large spot that would make it to the postseason would be North Dakota, which sat, before the weekend games, at 14th.  So presumably the U., with all this wasted talent and a Head Coach in his 19th season and whose two national titles are specks in the rearview mirror, are still on the inside looking out.  However, there will be two weeks of conference tournament play.  Teams will get a chance to improve on all the formulae used to formulate the PairWise, but Minnesota won't.  Therefore, the possibility that a squad or two can jump the Gophers is high.  Maybe it's inevitable.  And so arguably The Greatest Hockey Program In Top-Flight Men's College Hockey could miss the NCAA Tournament for the second time in three years.  And that should flip anyone's shit.

#-Infinity: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -7).  Before I slam this program, I have been remiss to talk about the lone bright spot on this club, Junior Forward Jordan Murphy.  He leads the nation in Double-Doubles with 24, which also a program record.  He also set the school record for most Rebounds in a season, with 352.  His 11.4 Rebounds Per Game led the Big Ten and puts him seventh in top-flight.  And all because of that, he was named ... to the All-Conference Second Team ... by the media.  Yeah, there were probably five players better than him, and maybe the coaches could find five others (Murphy made All-B1G Third Team by the coaches).  And the Gophers sucked this year.  But congratulations on being a light, Jordan.

OK, time now to slam these fuckers.  In a year where it became painfully obvious the club (sans Murphy I guess) phoned it in, they were one-and-done in the B1G Tourney in Madison Square Garden.  As an 11-seed they faced the worst team in the league, Rutgers -- and they lost to the lowly Scarlet Knights, 65-54.  Ick.

It doesn't appear as though Richard Pitino is in any danger of losing his job, even though that can suddenly change if any new information regarding the suspension and/or expulsion of Reggie Lynch surface.  The zeitgeist has decided that this was just a problem with injuries to Eric Curry and Amir Coffey, and a lack of depth players.  Although not gangbusters, the recruits Pitino has coming in for next year probably means his job is safe -- for now.  But is it possible that a better Head Coach, or even a good Head Coach, could have rallied the healthy troops he did have into a record better than 15-17 overall and 4-14 in-conference?  That he wasn't capable of turning lemons into lemonade is a sure sign that he can't bring a title to Dinkytown, is it not?

Fans are shrugging, and yet it's possible that the program in general is as low as it is since the nadir of the Dan Monson years -- and at least Monson didn't have one of his players being accused of rape.

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