Monday, March 12, 2018

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2).  I am publishing this survey late because I wanted to include the Gopher women's b-ball seed in it, and so I had to wait for the Selection Show this (Monday) evening.

Ever since Turner became a broadcaster for the March Madness games, there has been a creep that has turned what was an elegant, professional, beautiful broadcast into an ugly, opportunistic hype machine.  It's now spread to women's basketball.  The NCAA, in a desperate effort to whip up any publicity, released over the weekend a list of eight teams, only four of which will make the NCAA Tournament.  Despite a strong late-season push and finishing fourth in the Big Ten, Minnesota was one of those eight teams.

And so the team, and Gopher Nation, were waiting in suspense.  Well, more like being stuck in a lurch.  How does this make things more entertaining?  You're just fucking with people's feelings.  And this is a hoary, undignified way to maintain interest.  The NCAA and ESPN have turned this into a reality show -- like telling couples on Dancing With The Stars "they're in danger," or, to use a show that's more in the pop culture conversation right now even though it's a worse analogy, basically saying, "Which teams will receive a rose from the NCAA?"  Seriously, what the fuck is this bullshit?

At least they got in.  For the first time in three years they are in The Big Dance, as a 10-seed.  And not knowing anything about the field beyond, like, the four-best teams, I don't think the U. has a completely impossible shot of reaching the Elite Eight.  They have a test against 7-seed Green Bay, a perennially good mid-major program, and if they beat the Phoenix, they'll have to play 2-seed Oregon, and since this is women's basketball, they'll have to play on Oregon's home court.  But beat the Ducks, and it might mean a rematch with 3-seed Ohio St. with 1-seed Notre Dame in the Regional Final in Spokane, Wash.

I don't know how I feel about this team now.  I didn't think they'd make it to the tournament this year, so they have already pleasantly surprised me.  I guess I would be happy even if they're one-and-done, but would it be too much to ask if they can beat Wisconsin-Green Bay?  Of course, if they upset the Ducks and reach the Sweet Sixteen, well, I'd be over the friggin' moon.  But hey, at least this program made the field, something I was not sure Marlene Stollings could do with her own recruits, so good for her, and good luck starting Friday in the tourney!

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -4).  Did not catch the match Saturday night, but boy howdy, this could be an indication that this side may not be ragtag disassemblage of spare parts like they were too often last year.

It feels good to get back at your old team, as Adrian Heath managed to do against Orlando, especially if you feel you were made the scapegoat after years of what you assumed to be a healthy, convivial relationship.  But look at Ethan Finlay!  Acquired via trade late last season from Columbus, the Duluth native braced to give the Loons their first win of the season -- and on the road, no less.

There are many positive performances to be taken from this team.  Christian Ramirez reasserted his role as starting Striker and was able to bully his way to possessing the ball that led to the first Goal.  Mason Toye subbed in in the Second Half and sprung Miguel Ibarra that led to the second Goal.  (I didn't understand how Batman got into Gaffer's doghouse last season.  He has a lot to offer this team and Major League Soccer.  So it actually leavened my heart to see Heath embrace Ibarra after the victory.)  Most notably, the Backline didn't suck!

So MNUFC has some momentum going into the home opener Saturday vs. Chicago.  The Fire has upgraded their roster since last year, but if this match isn't an illusion, United should play well on St. Patrick's Day.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -3).  I didn't realize this: As of right now, not only do they hold down third place in the Central Division, not only do have the fifth-highest Point total in the Western Conference, but they have the seventh-highest Point total in the National Hockey League.  This despite getting shelled in Edmonton Saturday, 4-1.  They did play in Vancouver the night before, however, and beat the Canucks, 5-2 and, before that, tripled The Bastard Hartford Whalers at the X Tuesday, 6-2.  It looks like things are good; in fact, right now, the Wild have a better chance of reaching the postseason than the Timberwolves when we would have flipped both teams not even a month ago.  But this squad's road woes still continue, the win over the Canucks excepted.  The players have to understand that many of the games in the Stanley Cup Playoffs are played not at home.

For the second week in a row the Wild will have a home on Tuesday/road games Friday and Saturday workweek.  The home game comes vs. The Bastard Quebec Nordiques.  They then go to Las Vegas and Phoenix.

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5).  I've said this before and I'll say it again: The loss of Jimmy Butler might hurt, but it shouldn't hurt because the Woofie Dogs have two #1 overall picks who, presumably, should be able to become franchise players in their own right.  Franchise players become leaders of their teams, so dammit, lead!

And, well, after a layoff of almost a week they, uh, lost their third game in a row to Boston at Target Center.  But in a game where everyone wrote them off, in the Sunday afternoon national game they beat The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors, 109-103!  Sure, the Dubs played without Stephen Curry and Andre Iguodala and a few other rotation players.  But we all thought the Wolves were still going to lose this game.  But they didn't, and that is in large part to Karl-Anthony Towns's 31 Points and 16 Rebounds.  This is how you step up, lead your club and become a true franchise player.  Andrew Wiggins, take note.

One win doesn't mean everything, but picking up a game people think you lost should count.  As of now, the Timberwolves sit fifth in the Western Conference.  The schedule remains tough: They visit Washington (playing better with John Wall out) Tuesday, then have a bad Saturday-Sunday back-to-back where they head to San Antonio and then come back home to host Houston.  Again, Alpha Dogs take situations like these by the horns.  I am waiting for someone to show what he is made of.

#-5: Twins (Re-Entry!).  The overriding story over Major League Baseball's offseason has been the frozen, then deflated, free agent market.  Unlike in past years, players without a team have been able to hit the mother lode with their new teams.  Not so in this case.  The number of players who were on teams last year but found themselves on the street after the New Year was so high that there was training camp just for those, uh, orphans.  There have been some signings as Spring Training began, but there are still many players sans teams, and those who have been picked up recently signed for contracts much less than they expected and, in some cases, much less than they rejected just after last season ended.

People have been speculating that this is a sign that teams are colluding.  Many fans, I think, are complaining that owners are screwing over players by not paying them what they should be worth on the open market.  I bet those same fans would bitch when their team's highest-paid acquisition goes .210 and hits only 15 Home Runs the first year of his jackpot contract.  First of all, it's not his money, so why the fuck does he care?  Second of all, the guy I'm talking about, Pitcher Lance Lynn, turned down an offer of $17 million for the year from his old club, the St. Louis Cardinals, and saw that the market wasn't going to spend more money on him.  That's just Lynn gambling and losing at that point in the offseason.  And third of all, isn't a team trying to find diamonds in the rough, assuming those underrated players turn out to overperform compared to their contracts, a sign of great strategy?  Yes, I know the Pohlad Family is worth billions of dollars.  I don't think that necessarily means they are obligated to be the most freewheeling organization in MLB.  And if they can get a guy who's banking on himself getting a bounce-back year after this yearlong contract is up, I think it's a fair deal.  A steady workhorse for $12 million?  That's a good thing.  So would be getting Alex Cobb (Anibal Sanchez getting cut mere weeks after getting signed is weird, however.)

#-6: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -7).  I think we need to center on the fact that the ballclub lost two-of-three versus Creighton at Das Bank v.2.0 over the weekend, and even though they actually finished above .500 for the screening week due to midweek wins over Nebraska-Omaha and Wisconsin-Milwaukee (also at U.S. Bank Stadium), that they lost a series at "home" to a pretty decent at-least mid-major program means this is a down week for these guys.  Sure, they avoided a sweep by crushing the Bluejays in the Sunday game, 15-1, but they lost both previous meetings in the series by matching 7-3 scores.

This weekend also wraps up a ten-game homestand where they finished 6-4.  Yeah, I don't see a whole lot that says, "This team's good!"

This week they travel down to Texas: One-offs against George Washington (in Dallas ... huh?) tomorrow/Tuesday and at Texas-Arlington Wednesday, then a three-game series against TCU in Fort Worth for the weekend.

#-7: Gopher softball (Last Week: -6).  As if previous weeks didn't put into stark relief how good and not so good this club will be, they sandwiched three games with ranked Arizona State around a GCU Invitational in Phoenix, which consisted of just a doubleheader against two teams, Georgetown and hosts Grand Canyon University (which is a for-profit school, and I know that will never be a problem for the NCAA in the future).  Well, they crushed the Hoyas in Six Innings and then quintupled the Antelopes in the nightcap Saturday.  But they got shut out by the Sun Devils Friday and then lost a DH to them Sunday, the opener in Five Innings and another shutout in the closer.

Again, it is what it is.  I feel like I'm kind of running around in circles explaining that this is a good team but far from a great team, and unfortunately that reaffirms the narrative that the screwjob the NCAA gave last year's team was in fact the correct call.  They have had numerous chances this non-con season to say fuck you to the NCAA, and they have whiffed every single time.

On Wednesday they play a single game against Arizona.  This weekend they play three at New Mexico St.  That will finish up non-conference play for the U.

#-Infinity: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1).  Last week I said these Goofers were going to get killed by the Wisconsin Badgers in Madison, and on Saturday, that's exactly what happened.  For those who thought their win over Wisky in the Frozen Faceoff Final the week before at Ridder was an indication that they're, like, peaking at the right time: 1) You guys probably are stooges; 2) you didn't pay attention to the inability for this squad to kick it into maximum gear at any point this year; and 3) you believe that conference tournaments featuring teams that have their tournament spot locked up and have nothing else to play for means everything (really, ignore conference tournaments entirely).  They got a rude fucking awakening this past weekend, and meanwhile, the U. fail to reach the Women's Frozen Four for the first time in seven seasons.

That this year's Frozen Four is at Ridder has to really suck.  The U. hosted in 2015 and 2013, and the U. won both times (remember that the 2013 club is the one that went the entire season undefeated).  Minnesota hosted the women's college hockey national championship back in 2010, a year in which the Golden Goofers did not win, but there at least they reached the semifinals, where they lost to Minnesota-Duluth (on the Bulldogs' way to winning the title).  This year they didn't even get to play at home, which is really embarrassing.

Yeah, I guess all good things come to an end, and a six-year run of making your sport's national semifinals is a hell of an accomplishment, especially since they won four titles in that span.  But I still think this crushing defeat raises a lot of questions for the future of this program.  The University of Minnesota is a blue-blood school in this sport, and since it leads in NCAA championships, you can call them the premier college in women's top-flight collegiate hockey.  But there are only 35 teams in Division I.  I understand the pool of high school hockey players is small, but I see no reason why the U. cannot reload, in and out, and not just compete for championships but make the Frozen Four every year.  That isn't pie-in-the-sky thinking; judging the current landscape of women's hockey, I believe that is a reasonable benchmark.  And the U. failed to reach it this year, completely.

And why is that?  If Sarah Potomak, who sat the year out trying to make the Canadian Women's National Team (she was one of the last cuts), makes that much of a difference on this team not being a contender for the NCAA championship and winning it, and they roll through the sport with her next year, I'll gladly shut my mouth.  Otherwise, I am looking to the abrupt execution of the University of North Dakota women's hockey program last year (a decision made by UND President Mark Kennedy, a teabagger Republican who lived in Minnesota until he got his ass kicked trying to take Amy Klobuchar's Senate seat and left politics altogether afterward) as a factor.  Apparently North Dakota is a hockey factory; take a look at the Lamoureux twins and what they did in the Olympics to see the best of a very robust pipeline.  When Kennedy followed the money in football and men's basketball and ended women's hockey, he created a statewide diaspora that eventually migrated to other parts of the Midwest/North, but curiously, not at the U.  In explaining his decision in this story, Gophers Head Coach Brad Frost said he wanted to be fair to the players who stayed this year, the ones who left this year to try out for the Olympics, and the recruits who are coming in next year.  Bringing in a Fighting Hawk presumably would bump out one of those players, and Frost would not do that.

OK.  Fair enough.  But I think it's safe to say that there are many young women who want to emulate the Lamoureux twins after they helped Team USA win a gold medal in Pyeongchang, South Korea.  And unless North Dakota revives the sports, which they should, there will be an untapped market just to the northwest of us.  Frost and the U. should make some inroads -- hire an Assistant Coach with NoDak ties -- and try to outmuscle Minnesota-Duluth for the blue-chippers from that state.  That would be the most surefire way to bring the U. back to the women's college hockey firmament, where they belong.

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